The Balcony Door To The Left
by Annon.Owl
Summary: Bonnie moved to New York for a new life. When Raphael saves her, her new life is thrown. They find secret kin-ship with each other automatically away from their families. But its undeniable She's his type, He's everything she unexpectedly wants. What will happen when their families find out and they can no longer deny their true feelings? 2K14/16 Turtles (Rated M for odd chapters)
1. His Cousin- The girl

**So guys, most of you reading this may have already known I usually write Leo x OC stories, but this one has sat with me for such a long time I felt like I needed to do a Raph story.**

 **Ive been working my tail off writing the past few weeks and I really like where this story was going- so why not share it?! For all you Raph fans out there- I hope you enjoy it and to everyone who is generally reading this**

 **Thanks so much! my anxiety is none existent when i see little reviews of encouragement- so heres one for all of you!**

 **I really love ya!**

 **(I also don't own anything TMNT, Ive also loved the name Bonnie for the longest of times- so I hope you enjoy this!)**

 **Please don't forget to review! I will also be keeping up with my Leo stories as well for FYI,**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Owl x**

* * *

"Yo Raph- April n Casey's here" Leo's voice called out as the sound of thumping and clasping hands ran out. They were early. I lifted my head from my weight bench and huffed. My muscles coiled from my past work out and my neck clicked.

"Comin'" my gruff vocal chords rolled against my throat as I stretched my neck the other way. Looking ahead I could see my reflection in the gym mirror my red bandana had slipped a little from the workout as I pulled it back down over my head. A large whole sat behind my tie; I really needed to sew that soon.

I jumbled my body out of the dojo and found everyone sat at the dinner table tucking into the largest pizza Mikey could order.

"Ey man!" Casey called coming over to clasp my hand in his and slap the back of my shell.

"Hey Casey- how yer doing Ap?" I called leaning over Mikey. He groaned at my movements as I pushed his head to the side to grab a slice.

"I'm good Raph thanks- what's new?" she asked kindly, her hair falling across her shoulders as she grinned.

"Nothing much- usual work out before dinner" I shrugged with a smile as Casey came to stand beside her, leaning against the bars of our raised dining area.

"you clean the bench?" Leo asked looking back at me. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Course" I hadn't, but he didn't need to know that right now; he could yell at me later. He nodded seeming satisfied with my answer as I brushed it off. I turned back to the conversation with Casey

"You up for a run out tonight Case?"

"I can't tonight- I got shift at 4 tomorrow morning- but tomorrow night I'm good if you wanna hit east side" he said to me as I weighed up the options; it didn't matter to me I nodded at him with a smirk, but then he turned slowly, eyes wide looking at April softly.

"Asssss long as its okay with you, babe?" he grinned to her and she rolled her eyes at him and nodded.

"Whipped" I coughed under my breath as he elbowed me in the stomach. My brothers laughed.

"if its fine with Leo its fine with me" She commented looking to me pointedly. Leo grinned to her, loving her confidence in him. I gawked at the idea.

April turned her attention to Donnie- "so how did you get on with that thing I asked you about?"

She asked him kindly, her eyes glimmering with hope. He smiled to her gently; he always had a soft spot for her, not in a roll around on the floor in love with her, but there was just a glint in his eye when ever he talked to her; it was happier, brighter. It wasn't completely noticeable, no one seemed to mention it- Casey never said anything to him either. But I understood that. Donnie's look wasn't dangerous; he just appreciated April, they were extremely close friends and if Donnie wanted to think about her every now and again- it was okay.

As long as he never acted upon it.

Besides; we were mutant turtles- Not exactly threatening to a devoted human boyfriend.

"What thing?" Casey asked with his mouthful as April swatted his rude insert away.

"For Bonnie!" She said with a crossed look in her eyes and he crossed his own eyes looking confused. April sighed and shook her head. "I asked Don if he could set up some security measures for her, she doesn't live in the best area of town"

"Oh-oh hey not a bad idea!" Casey agreed nodding in her direction as she and Don both rolled their eyes at him playfully.

"Whose Bonnie?" Mikey asked cramming three pizza slices together into the little tub of ranch dressing.

"She's my cousin; moving to the city from Jersey; She's going to NYC in a couple of months"

"Wow NYC, impressive" Leo nodded to Donnie who nodded back raising their eye brows in appreciation.

"Yeah she's the smart one in the family; we used to be real close before I moved out here" he said his eyes going sad for a moment.

"So is that alright Don? Il take you over to her apartment; I'll get Ap to take her out for the night so you can get in alright- just to keep an eye out on 'er"

Donnie nodded.

"Yeah yeah- no issues, sounds all good to me"

"Would appreciate it if you guys wouldn't mind checkin' up on 'er building every now and again as well" Casey eyed Leo who looked back with a smirk and nodded to him.

"No problem Casey; what are friends for right?"

He grinned and fist pumped him from across the table.

"I think were missing the bigger picture here" Mikey called as he raised his hand in the air and flattened it down on the table as if laying down rules. A few seconds of silence passed between us waiting for Mikey's big announcement.

"Is she hot?"

We all groaned and rolled our eyes away.

"As if she's gonna be interested in ya- were turtles numb-nuts" He shrugged at me and waved me off.

"She ain't seen my dazzling charm" he said turning to look at April dramatically as he winked and flattered himself with his hand. She giggled at him and I reached out to slap the back of his head.

"She ain't gonna be seeing your charm Mikey; you know we don't expose our selves" Leo added pointing at Mike sharply.

"Sure, sure" Mikey said with a wink to Leo as he rolled his eyes.

We carried on in small conversation about tomorrow's patrol; Casey made all exchanges with April before nudging her with his shoulder privately, a look of love travelled between them; it was intimate. I looked away feeling like I was intruding.

"Don't you ever dream of being loved like that?" he sighed with wide puppy dog eyes as he leant into me. I growled at him and thrust his body away.

"Knock I' off" I grumbled as Mikey ducked away from my hand, almost taunting me. He chuckled and moved away, skating around on his board again before I turned to Donnie. He was busy concentrating looking down at his small laptop screen that he had pulled up in his lap.

"Is this her?" Donnie asked turning the screen to April. She smiled and nodded. Casey looked over with a small sad smile and soft eyes. Mikey rushed to the screen excitedly.

"Awww yeah she's real pretty! How lucky are we?!" he grinned to us as Leo hit him around the head. "Oww!"

"Were not going to seek her out; just keep an eye out- she could do without all this crazy in her life if she's going to college" he told him as Mikey rolled his eyes.

"Where's the fun in that Leo?"

Casey laughed. "if anything- she'd be the one to be the most chilled about this; shes gotta strong head look out on the world- nothin' phases 'er" he said with a shrug. "but im not goin up to her asking if she wants to come meet four turtles yano; she'll think im crazy" he chuckled as they all shook their heads.

"More like terrified" I mumbled. I leant over for a minute; mainly reaching for the root beer on the table when I caught the edge of Donnie's screen in my eye.

Her face was soft and skin glowing; her eyes were big and bright; blue deep in them. He hair was dark and rich like chocolate, flowing over her shoulders like silk. She was bigger than April from what I could tell on her photo; her shoulders wider and her chest huge. A good wrack on her…

Mikey was right; she was pretty…

I casually leant over and grabbed my root beer, leaning back in the chair; the conversation kept flowing as I watched quietly, mumbling something whenever they decided to ask me something.

But the night stayed the same until we watched a movie then dove off to bed.

Not expecting anything to change…

* * *

The next night we ran our patrol like normal; Leo was being the constant dick he was usually when in leader mode and the other two following like lost puppies. I went along begrudgingly. I had to admit; we were better as a team than when we were fighting. The night was quiet and nothing seemed to cause a stir like usual; my muscles coiled angrily- wanting the adrenaline rush. Hopefully that would come later when Casey and I could go beat up some punks causing no good.

We drove over east side; Casey was coming to meet me from here as we waited on the tenth building. I rolled my eyes at Leo who told me he would wait until he arrived so he knew where I was and who I was with.

Fucking mothering turtle…

"Hey guys! Come see!" Mikey called happily. He almost whispered as we all turned our heads and watched him.

"Mikey; what's with the whispers?" Donnie asked scrunching up his nose. it was probably nothing; Mikey liked to drag us all into some little scene he had found.

"Just come here!" he said as I huffed and we all moved to look down over the right side of the building.

A smaller apartment building stood opposite. Its building maybe only a small street away from us. Two sets of lights lit up it in different places.

I narrowed my eyes down at the closest balcony; the lights brighter here; a pile of boxes sat on the balcony way; the door wide open.

Casey stood in the door way.

I leaned further in; he didn't live there…neither did April…

"So these the last?" he called as he turned onto the balcony grabbing a box.

"Mikey!" Leo hissed as Mikey tumbled forward, getting a closer look. He jumped onto the roof and turned to lean over the wall; looking directly about 6ft away from Casey's head.

I shared an annoyed look with Leo as all three of us barrelled over to join him. I knew Leo would only be doing it to catch Mikey and shut him down. But I had a genuine interest. What was Casey doing in a new apartment?

Was he cheating on April?

If he was id rip his fuckin' head off. April was a sister; our hogosha- I'd fucking kill him twice over and I knew my bros would help.

"Yeah that's the last one; oh just leave that there, Case- I'll take the rest down tomorrow" A smooth female voice entered the scene. She walked onto the balcony, rich chocolate hair over her shoulders.

"Its just his cousin" Donnie sighed. Almost sounding relieved.

"Oh! Oh! Can we meet her? Can we? can we?" Mikey bounced. I smacked him round the back of his head.

"No idiot; course we fuckin' can't; she'd freak- we ain't normal New Yorker's Mike" I told him with a growl. He rolled his eyes at me.

Idiot.

"We should leave; get back before they hear us!" Leo hissed in a sharp whisper; wanting us to lower our voices.

"Come on; lets go"

My brothers began heading the left away over the building. Mikey kept further back until Leo pulled his shell.

I stayed put.

All three turned to look at me with confused expression.

"I'm meetin' 'im in ten; I'll wait 'ere" I told them. Donnie and Mikey turned not even thinking anything else over it. But Leo stayed; his eyes poured into mine.

"She cannot see you Raph" he told me strongly. I growled at him.

"I know fearless- I'm not Mike" I sneered. As if I would…as if I could…

my head seemed to stream back to the mental image of her eyes.

It was the only time I had really appreciated the colour blue.

I shoved the thought back down just as fast as it had surfaced.

"Thanks for your help Casey; its been crazy"

"No worries Bon- everythin' been okay in the area?" he asked as they both appeared again. Both leaning on the balcony with their elbows; a cup in their hands.

"Yeah yeah; no issues- I can handle myself Case" she added pointedly. He chuckled.

"You ain't trying to knock me down with a bat anymore girl; New York's a scary place- if ya get into any trouble; you gotta call right?"

I could hear her huffing.

"I know; thanks Case- and thank April for me on the job; it was really nice of her to let me do shifts in the shop"

I watched as Casey shifted his weight; I couldn't see their faces, just the tops of their heads but I pictured him smiling to her.

"Yeah- she's awesome"

"sooo everything's going good with her?" Bonnie asked raising her tone. He laughed.

"Come on Bon- don't make me go all soppy on ya" she giggled. And it sat with me.

Huh.

"Yeah yeah- just come to me when you're gonna buy a ring" she said.

"Anyway- I gotta scram. Meeting my friend; going to catch bad guys and what not" she laughed again.

"Yeah yeah; whatever Detective Jones- be careful"

They hugged once tightly and he turned to leave. I stayed for another minute, just watching her as she looked out across the way as the taller building.

Probably lost in her head.

Must have been scary; moving around the city on her own.

She sighed and I could hear her doing so.

"I can take care of my self" she mumbled. And then she turned. Her face looked so 3D here; it sounded stupid but it was the only description I could think of. She was chunkier than April; a ton load more curves- almost the perfect chest size I imagined my fantasy women to have. Her hips were wider and her legs a lot thicker. She was taller too- longer limbed but well proportioned. I studied her face in the short two seconds that she passed back into her apartment; Her eyes were so big and fluttery. Her skin even more beautiful in real life and so flawless. Her lips looked soft.

She was beautiful. Not looking anything like Casey; maybe the height…but that's all.

I listened to her sweeping back the balcony door. I waited for the click to come, for the lock to seal. But it didn't.

I looked over to the building opposite- Casey would be there in a sec. I needed to go.

But I looked down again.

Why? Why did I look down again?

What the fuck?

She hadn't locked her door.

Fucking hell how could she look after her self if she couldn't even shut the door?

I huffed, almost growling as I stood ready to dive back over onto the other building.

Its her own damn fault if she gets in trouble

She shoulda locked it…

She shoulda…

She-

I jumped down. I grabbed the pipe above to hold myself up so that it didn't sound like a crash of thunder dropping onto her balcony. I moved silently following the shadow of her curtains as I crouched down, sandwiching my self behind the balcony railing and the glass that thankfully was coated inside with a dark curtain.

I moved slightly knowing what I was doing was stupid as I took hold of her glass door and moved it an inch; listening for the quiet click of the glass as it locked in shut.

I listened hard; and moved so slow.

It clicked almost immediately as I blew out a deep breath. I shook my head once and bolted, jumping back up onto the roof I was on and then barrelled across the roof back up to where we all were originally stood.

My heart hammered seemed to still as I crouched down the side of the wall; hoping to god she hadn't come back out to see what that noise was.

She hadn't; and the lights in her flat went off- must have gone to bed.

Good.

"What the fuck dude?!"

I span round on my heels; Casey stood a few feet away from me.

Oh shit; he must have saw…

Oh shit.

My brain tried to scramble some form of excuse; why did I do it? I shoulda left her, She meant nothing to me- it was nothing.

Just a favour to Casey. He had asked us to keep her safe. She was a fucking stranger for crying out loud!

I opened my mouth to throw shade at him, to tell him it was what he wanted- but he beat me to it.

"You guys took down left flank without me?! I thought we were gonna do east!"

huh?

"What?"

"Leo text me; said to look west instead- told me you'd done east; I wanted to hit that grease bar- get the last of the drunken foot members!"

"Oh…yeah- sorry bro, lets jus' go round again; sure it'll be cool" I told him with a shrug. He groaned at me and huffed swinging his hockey stick threw the air.

"Whatever" he groaned. I swallowed; getting one last look in at the little apartment I had just been stood outside.

"Raph- ya comin'?" he asked again sharply. I turned and fell in line with him.

"yeah yeah; lets go"

We rolled out to the left barrelling over buildings leaving that one behind. I shoved every little thought down I could and flew into the night.

I definitely needed to pulverise some foot. That was for sure.


	2. Bonnie- the danger magnet

Bonnie's POV

"April you sure you don't want these?" I asked her. My cousin's beautiful girlfriend turned back and looked down at me with a soft smile. She was currently up a ladder doing stock inventory.

"No keep them! They were lying around my apartment anyway; and Casey doesn't appreciate decor!" she said with a grin. I looked down to the cardboard box she had filled with decorations and posters. I knew she had bought them all; some still had price tags on.

April had always been the best to me.

I smiled up at her knowingly.

"Laying around your apartment for ten dollars fifty? Wow I didn't know you lived at pottery barn" I told her. She looked back at me with a flat look.

"Just say thank you and smile Bonnie"

I laughed; it came out in a delighted giggle.

"Thanks April; it means so much"

"You deserve it! Getting into NYU is something worth a box of stuff" I rolled my eyes at her as I put it on the side.

I flicked the shop sign round to closed; it had turned 5pm and the cold October night had come in dark. Street lamps flickered outside the window illuminating streets as tall buildings shadowed the skyline.

It really was dark here.

I had been here less than three weeks; and with Casey and April helping me settle I felt better; I had all but nearly spent my time in their company.

They both said they didn't mind; which I was thankful for. Slowly home was becoming that; home and I was feeling more familiar to the city with every passing moment. I picked up the brush and started to sweep the floor as I usually did. April sang quietly along the the music as we worked in harmony with each other; it was pleasant and enjoyable. I could definitely see my self doing this over the next three years with her.

"So plans for the evening?" April asked as she jumped down from the third step. I turned to face her.

"oh you know, going home- getting in my comfortable clothes and binge watching documentaries on sharks or whales" I told her with a smile. She laughed.

"Why don't you come to dinner with me and Case?" she offered but I shook my head no.

" _Jeeze,_ I'm becoming your child, you two enjoy your date- I'm more than fine, besides, I could do with a night in to myself just chill out with take out food…hey I might even read!" I told her with a grin. She chuckled.

"you're the highlight of all social groups" she laughed and I giggled with her. I had always had an easy friendship with April- I had only met her on four different occasions and each time we instantly clicked. I was overly pleased that she was still holding Casey down and he was enjoying it. They were so good together, and it meant I had a female friend for the first time in a long time.

I was never a lonely girl; just distant- people were hard to get by for me and I was never exactly the type of girl to join a clique or be part of a friendship group, but I was never unhappy about that.

I guess I was better being a lone wolf than a pack wolf.

"Anyway- I'm gonna go before it gets too dark"

"Oh, you want me to call Casey? He can drive you home" she told me and I shook my head.

"No its fine; I'll grab a taxi- its not too far. Don't worry about me April; I'm not a little girl- and I can take care of myself" I told her. I had been telling both of them that- they still seemed to think I was incapable.

Wonder what danger they thought I could get into…

"Are you sure?"

I rolled my eyes at her but reached over to grip her arm once in appreciation.

"I'm sure; enjoy your date- tell that cousin of mine I will see him tomorrow!" I told her pulling my coat on as I walked out the doorway.

I waved to her as she watched me go. Smiling at her care; it wasn't often I felt that.

* * *

I walked down a side street aiming to reach the taxi rank in under five minutes as I took a turn down another street I thought I recognised.

 _This is easy_ I told myself finding I was able to recognise street names and distances a lot easier than a few weeks ago.

That was until the taxi rank didn't appear like I thought it would.

I stood still, waiting for something. Almost waiting for the taxi rank to appear as if from no where. I bit my lip and pulled my cherry red coat further round me. The chill was setting in, in the air.

I turned back on my heels and took a left; _oh wait- did I need to go right?_

Frustrated I touched my forehead and pulled my phone out of my pocket. I clicked on the web app trying to find my destination wandering slowly down the alley way I had come down.

Then I heard a crunch ahead of me.

My eyes flicked up.

The wind whipped above my head making a whistling sound on the fire escapes above. The dark settled here in an eerie way; putting me on high alert making me nervous. I eyed the alleyway ahead of me.

No one stood; but I felt it- eyes on me; watching me as I pulled my coat around me even closer.

Get out of here Bonnie c'mon

I moved swiftly, heading straight back down the alley way on onto a street not recognising this new one either. I gulped. I continued to walk down the path, and then another and another; constantly turning down alleys and streets hoping to find one I recognised.

It was only when my feet started to ache did I consider phoning Casey, flicking through my contacts. I took note of the time; 7:04pm; how had I wandered for nearly two hours?!

And that's when my phone that was in my hand; turned a solid white- then flashed to an empty screen.

Dead.

I gulped.

"Alright Bonnie- you can do this…we just gotta find a taxi that's all" I told myself trying to stop the clawing hysteria that threatened to spill over.

I carried on walking; but it seemed futile; the busy streets of New York everyone had spoken of ran empty and dull down here; windows blacked out and in some places broken. My heightened senses told me I was in the complete wrong area of town.

I stood for another moment; grabbing my bearings as I took a deep breath.

 _Alright…its okay; you'll laugh about this tomorrow with Casey- you will. In half an hour you'll be in your PJ's on the sofa._

I took another deep breath finding myself calming at my own thoughts.

"Its good- everything's good- everything's-"

"Hey boys! Look what I found!"

I froze completely. The voice came from behind me. I didn't wanna listen; I couldn't. it wasn't for me. They were not shouting at me.

 _MOVE!_

I did as my conscience asked and began power walking forward. Trying to ignore the sound of feet that were suddenly coming louder and louder. A whistle called to me-three times.

"C'mere girl- let me see ya!"

Another hurl of words; this one a little slurred. I picked up my speed. And so did they.

It was only then I drove into my fight or flight mode feeling the power of terror surge through me as I began sprinting away.

They followed. I couldn't dare to even look as I ran, pushing myself further and further.

I turned a corner sharply hoping to loose them.

But it was no use as my face was met full on by a hard warm chest.

I fell to the floor and looked up at the wall I had slammed into.

A very very tall brutish looking man who eyed me like I was a steak on a plate.

"Well…what do we have 'ere?" his thick accent shone through as my eyes stared hard at him in fear. The feet that were following me caught up to me and the breath of three other strangers filled my eyes.

"Well well well…red riding hood huh?" Another new man; this time I gulped loudly trying to stay as alert as I could. I had always been good with a bat in my hand. I blamed Casey for that skill, but here surrounded by four creepy men who smelt about as bad as they looked-

I was totally helpless.

Then an arm grabbed at me, hauling me to my feet as it went round my waist tightly. I gasped and began thrashing.

"Get offa me!" I growled at the guy behind. He was about a foot taller than me and completely obese. I thrashed again, my legs trying to kick him in his groin.

"Oooo a thicker girl! Man I like em the most!" The sleaze ball to my right chuckled as they moved in closer. Another arm touched mine.

"C 'mon baby- give us a feel"

And that's when one of my arms got loose. I threw a punch out with my right hand, feeling my fingers crunch into the side of sleaze balls nose. he fell down to the floor as I pushed my heel of my foot into the guy's toes. He yelped and in a second loosened his grip.

I moved forward ready to sprint away when two more arms grabbed me, pulling me to a wall as they held me there- trying to pull at my now open coat. I thrashed again acting completely on adrenaline.

They held me tighter, probably enough to bruise me…

The breath of a heavy smoker met my face as his mouth turned towards my neck.

"Ooooh you got a fight in you…I like that"

 _"Then your gonna love me…"_

And then I was released. Both men were pulled away from me as I fell back against the wall with a small crack to the back of my head. My eyes searched for them; wailing their attack; but the only sounds that filled the air were the sounds of thuds and cracking. The screams and wails of the men that had me could be heard; but nothing else.

Still terrified and utterly confused. I tried to grip onto the brick that was behind me my fingers almost clawing into the cement as if trying to hold me there.

The obese man and his accomplice searched the dark shadows where the screams rose from.

"Its one of those freaks! We gotta go!" and they took of running; leaving me completely alone again.

With a final thud, all noise ceased. All accept the pounding of my heart in my ears and head and the slight dripping of water from a near by pipe.

I froze waiting for them to come to me, but the shadows remained black and the noise still silent.

Was I safe now?

I should run.

I should go- I should…

 _"Ya alright?"_

The smooth Brooklyn accent hit me head on as I gasped.

The same voice as my mystery rescuer.

I closed my mouth forcefully, my eyes still wide and alarmed. I didn't blink- I don't think I could blink.

But then I found myself nodding, up and down slowly.

So I was conversing with this stranger now? After nearly being raped by four complete strangers in this neighbourhood!

My brain was starting to come down from its high as I felt the inevitable exhaustion creep in from my adrenaline high. I swallowed again trying to still my breathing and calm the waves of terror that rode through me.

"Ya lost?" it asked again.

Who was there? Who was I speaking too? More importantly why was I not running?

Again, my body responding wilfully to the complete strange shadow as I nodded again unsure and nervous. I willed my voice to find words; to say something strong and sure.

"T-thank you" I breathed mentally slapping my self at this display. But deep down in my pit; I knew I owed this guy. This guy who could have been a girl.

I thought better of that though; his vocal chords were deep and husky…This was New York though…

I could hear a shuffle and then thud as soft feet padded near by.

I was still frozen, unable to thaw out my body parts to get myself to move.

"Ya should go back- take a left dere, it'll getcha back on da street" he told me as I nodded again pathetically. Then we seemed to still for a moment; it was as if he was waiting for me to move. But I couldn't. I stared hard into the shadows; waiting for the person to arrive.

"Ya movin' or what?" a growl came to me and with that- I was gone. I had whipped myself round and my body completely responded to my thoughts. I pushed forward going left like he had told me to do, and just as he said, a taxi rank appeared. I all but threw myself into one.

I told him my address as I sat there, wide eyed and pale.

"You alright miss?"

I nodded swallowing down the overly developed lump in my throat as I breathed in and out deeply.

It was over. I was safe- someone had saved me. I was okay.

I turned my head around in the car, looking back to the alleyway I had run down. Nothing came, but then my eyes were focused on a fast moving shadow, one that stood on the building above.

A dark silhouette appeared as my driver sped off slowly.

It was a man, no, way too big to be a man, way too big. Maybe 7ft at a minimum and wide- with something circular on its back. Something pointed in each of its hands, and ribbon tails coming from its head shape- blowing in the wind.

The dark shape seemed to crouch as I focused hard on it, then as my taxi veered left. I lost the dark shadow.

I swallowed.

Was that…. person…my rescuer?

I swallowed again. I most definitely wasn't in jersey anymore.

I scrambled out of the taxi almost as soon as it hit the curb of my apartment building. I threw my cash at him and fled, flying up the stairs until I reached my floor.

I locked my door, twice over checking it was shut.

I threw my bag down onto the floor and looked straight to my balcony door.

I had left it slightly open to keep fresh air moving throughout my apartment getting rid of the old smell from the past owner. I was the highest apartment in the whole building and with no fire escape in reach of my balcony- I felt it was safe as could be.

Not like someone could reach down and get into my apartment from above right?

But with all things happened, I wasn't sure I wanted to leave the door open anymore.

I rubbed down my face with my hand and rushed over to the balcony door.

My hand reached for the door handle as I pushed the drape away from the door. My fingers grabbed the handle as I looked down to pull it closed.

Only there was another hand through the other side of the glass.

A green three fingered hand.

I froze.

 **Sooo how we faring up guys? I had to include some form of Batman reference- it is _Raph_ after all.**

 **Thanks to everyone who's reading this- this is my first Raph story if you didnt already know! let me know what you think!**

 **Owl x**


	3. The Balcony Door- the Meeting

My eyes scanned the hand through the glass, looking up slowly. A huge muscular body took up most of my balcony. It was crouched over slightly, reaching for my door. Brown boned looking abs filtered around green scaled skin. And the muscles on this guy…fuck.

My eyes dragged up to its face. It was must have been 8ft at least… And my eyes clamped down on amber ones- bright and piercing; holding about the same amount of shock as my own did.

Its face scaled too- a dark green, with a light scar and a wide mouth.

It looked almost like…

Was that a turtle?

But it was so human, so real.

I gasped inwardly, my heart hammering.

I could feel the gurgle of a scream coming to me but it stopped in my throat. Paralysation fell over me as everything on me felt heavy.

I noticed it's face covered in a red torn bandana, covering its head- some sort of Chinese or Japanese writing on the centre.

 _Tails flowing in the wind._

I blinked hard.

I blinked again.

It was still there.

Then I felt it; the scream coming gurgling up my throat ready to pierce the air.

 _"YOU DON'T LIVE HERE!"_

I clamped my vocal chords together my eyes wide. My body and brain seeming to knit together in an instant, slapping my face internally.

 _Why had I said that? Of all the things to say and scream or shout and threaten._

And I chose that.

It kept still, like a picture, not even moving an inch. There was a second I thought it was just a cardboard cut out- and Casey was trying to scare me.

Then it breathed and I screamed again.

This time a proper scream and a loud one curdling, my insides.

The creature which I thought would roar and jump for me, leant back- its face crunching up in pain as it clasped the side of its head.

It then looked behind it panicked and in a total human move:

It shushed me.

I gasped as it used its hands to bring a finger its mouth pleadingly another out as if trying to fan me down gently.

"You're… _YOU'RE_ SHUSHING ME?! WHAT THE FUCK! WHO ARE YOU?"

The thing growled and shushed again, a look of anger crossed its features.

"jus' listen! I ain't gonna hurt ya! _Just shhh woman jeeze_!"

My mouth fell open.

"YOU TALK!" I shrieked and suddenly it was rolling its eyes at me as it pushed me backwards, opening my door and barrelled in. I fell back against the glass. It turned to speak to me again; its hands up and in them, two metal spiked forks.

I yelled and backed away again.

"Hey HEY!" I walked backwards nearly tripping over my sofa leg scrambling for my bat. My hands flared out looking for it, or anything to protect myself.

He came in, gruff and tall- huge. Dressed in seemingly modern clothes and sneakers, twirling metal forks expertly. And the thing seemed so human; so animated with moving attitude dressed in all of its features.

I grabbed whatever I could find in my grip.

I held it out in front poised.

I could fight with anything that was remotely close to a bat…

Turns out it was a candle stick.

I growled. I had told Casey to throw these out. He looked at me then down to the stick and blew out a chuckle amused.

"Seriously princess ya wanna 'urt me you'll have to do one betta"

I growled.

But in my head I recognised the accent; the thick tone in his gruff voice…

" _Ooooh you got a fight in you…I like that"_

" _Then you're gonna love me…"_

 _And then I was released. Both men were pulled away from me as I fell back against the wall with a small crack to the back of my head…_

I stood my self back up, straightening my back out.

"You…" I said watching him as he watched me. The thudding of his feet seemed to still as he watched my movements. I took him in again;

Height…

 _Twirling metal forks…_

 _Bandana tails blowing in the wind…_

"You…you saved me tonight…"

His face fell stoic and in a small grimace; it didn't touch his eyes- his eyes seemed to watch me; Interested and innocent.

He remained silent as I let the air settle over us.

"Why?" I pushed as his eyes crept in with twinkles of anger. He huffed and took a step towards me.

"What ya mean why? So I shoulda let those bozo's _rape ya_? Jesus girl- you're a danga magnet; ya leave ya balcony door wide open, walk down alley ways, get ya sel lost, damn Casey shoulda put safety net on you as soon as ya landed; you're a liability girl, your-"

 ** _"you know my cousin?!"_** I said strongly my eyes now mirroring his with anger and a hard expression. I could hear a growl being held in the back of his throat as he huffed and looked away from me for a second.

"I asked you; Do you know Casey?!" I growled and his eyes flew back to me. I could tell he had fucked up. his shoulders lifted tightly and fell down.

"If you don't tell me who you are…what you are! Then I'll-"

"You'll what? Look at me girly- ya t'ink a few officers would stop me if dey came up 'ere?"

I froze. My eyes turned wide. What was he planning on doing to me? My shoulders turned stiff as my blood ran cold.

Nothing could stop him…

He seemed to realise what he had said and widened his eyes at his mistake. He licked his lip once and sighed.

"Listen, If I wanted to 'urt ya then trust me- I would have" He huffed and shook his head looking straight down onto me.

I looked up to his face which was now hovering above near me. I looked up into the light amber orbs, they melted and moved like liquid in a glass. I gulped. His scales were well set on his structure and a beautiful colour.

We stayed like that for two minutes, just studying each other. I breathed taking in his size; his height, his muscles… He could certainly kill me with one hand if he wanted too. I gulped again.

He noticed my uncomfortableness and backed away. He dropped his eyes and walked back away from me, letting me get my bearings.

"Look- da only reason a was even out dere in the first place is coz ya balcony i _s wide open_! I mean- fuck girl- dis is New York, and you'll get eaten alive AND the ONLY reason I'm in 'ere now is coz YOU screamed! If I had run off leaving you screamin' after me, everyone would- "

"Who are you?" I asked interrupting him. My voice suddenly much calmer. He fell silent as he watched me, his rant stopped for now as his eyes seemed to study me again. I let him carefully. My own eyes busy trying to work him out.

He had saved my life- a good trait

Had a temper- a bad trait

Hadn't killed me- very good trait. Extremely good.

Had followed me home- a creepy trait

Had lectured me on how to stay safe- a caring trait.

 _Had kept me safe…_

This was new; no one had ever done that for me.

Ever.

No wonder he had hidden from me in the shadows, he was smart enough to keep safe. But not smart enough to leave me alone?

 _Why?_

"What you t'ink I am?" he asked a little quieter, a solemn look on his face. I looked him up and down slowly; raking him in closely. He let me for a minute; just watching as I took a step closer.

"some sort of…batman- vigilante-copy cat?" I said as he looked dead up back to me. His eyes met mine; he looked at me like I was insane.

"Seriously? You look a' me and that's what you t'ink?"

"Well what should I think?!" I exasperated at him. He looked himself up and down pointedly.

"Do I look like some sorta 'Christian Bale' dude?"

"Well…I guess Bale has darker eyes than you do" I shrugged crossing my arms, pushing his buttons. He crossed his eyes at my comment.

"Are you _blind_ princess?! 'Ow many talkin' walkin' crime fightin' turtles ya met before?"

"So that's what you are" I said pointedly. Another minute of silenced filled the air as I thought over what he was.

 _A talkin' walkin' crime fightin' turtle…long name._

He huffed and rolled his eyes.

"Very funny" he said almost in disgust as I rolled my eyes at him.

We stayed silent for a moment, again the tension strong as I decided to un pick it.

"So…you're really not going to kill me?"

He looked at me silently; pointedly. I got the message.

"And you know my cousin?" I asked folding my arms.

He gave me one strangled nod.

"Were close. "

"And he knows you're a-"

"pretty hard not to notice" he said tilting his head.

I nodded looking to the floor as I swallowed. Trust my cousin to be involved some how.

 _Typical Jones trait._

"I'm guessing you've been following me?" I said slightly annoyed. He shook his head his features scrunched again.

"No- not a' all- you jus' happened to be on my side of the radar; trus' me I ain't been on ya tail"

I didn't believe him; and I think he knew that as I shared a look with him. But he sighed sharply a breath flaring out from his nostrils as he clicked his teeth at me. I eyed him again carefully for what seemed like the fifth time. He was huge; I couldn't get over how big he was or how little he had made me feel in comparison; yet he manoeuvred round my little flat with expertise and skill like a lithe gymnast would do. His facial features were striking; but in the most glorious way.

He wasn't some ugly hidden creature; but something….

Something…

Different…

"Ya gettin' a good look at me? wanna picture of the freak?" he growled out as I met his eyes again.

"Is that what they call you? _The freak?_ " I asked him as I swallowed the dryness that sat in my mouth.

He twirled a fork in his hand again, almost like a nervous habit. I had relaxed an inch more around him; settling in to his presence.

"It's a little dry for my taste. I prefer names for faces rather than titles" I added trying to relax him more.

He wasn't a freak…he was just…something different…

A silence fell over us as I took another step towards me. He let me. Then another, and then another until I was stood a few inches away; our feet nearly touching.

I looked him up and down slowly; dragging in the muscles, the clothes, the oversized bandana.

"What's your name?" I asked. His mouth fell open slightly and I could see the human teeth sat inside of them much more clearly.

"Raphael" he told me as I nodded.

"Raphael" I tried it on my tongue, letting it fall naturally. Another silent moment blossomed between us naturally. "I'm Bonnie" I added, and my mind seemed to barrel at the normalcy of it all.

"You ain't freaked?" he asked watching me quietly as I met his eyes. I blew out a small laugh.

"I screamed didn't I? but come on; you were creepin' outside my apartment!"

"Hey! I wouldn't of needed ta if ya would've jus' locked ya door! That's **_twice_** now and-"

"I Thought you weren't following me!" I added quickly as he crossed his arms and looked away for a moment.

"So…you've been on my balcony before? It was You who shut my door that night…I thought the wind had…but that was you?" it came out as more of a statement than a question as my eyes looked to the floor confused.

None of it made sense. But I guessed if he hadn't killed me last night, then I was pretty safe around him. But why would he do that?

"Did- did Casey asked you to do this? To be my body guard? because I can take care of my self" I told him waving a hand at him and crossed my arms on my chest.

He watched me with a crazed expression.

"Oh yeah- you had total control ova those punks in dat alley; what would have happened if I didn't turn up? huh?"

"I would have-"

"What princess? What _exactly would you 'ave done?_ " he growled to me angrily. I looked away from him gritting my teeth. My anger seemed to die down as I looked to the floor thinking it over. The memory of those men made me shiver as I felt my spin shake a little, I blew out a nervous breath as I rubbed my arm that the creep had grabbed. I shook it off. Raphael seemed to notice.

"Thank you for that" I said quietly looking to the floor. I knew he could sense my discomfort; he sighed seeming disappointed in himself as he grumbled and corrected his own words.

"Hey- sorry…listen they won't getcha - d'ere just some dumb idiots tryna be cleva, tryin' to try it on with a pretty girl they can't 'ave"

His comment made me snort. His eyes watched mine confused at my sudden abrasive laugh.

"No I don't think they would want a girl like me; most likely looking for a hole to put their dick in really" I mumbled.

He was about to say something else but I waved him off shaking my head.

"Its fine; _I'm fine_ …it's just...I'll avoid alleys from now on" I said as we shared another moment of silence. He looked at the clock, then took one of the forks out again.

"Listen, if ya alright- I should go- I didn't mean to startle ya- its jus' we can't have ya blabbin' about me in da streets- gotta stay hidden yano" He gestured to himself as I nodded to him in understanding biting the very tip of my bottom lip in my teeth. As I looked him over, studying him as I went.

"You're not gonna tell anyone right?" he seemed to push; his eyes raised pulling the red bandana up with him as he spoke.

"I wont tell anyone…not even Casey…as long as you wont tell him I got attacked; he's already anxious enough with me here…I don't wanna cause trouble; not when it wasn't anything big" I said in a sigh.

He nodded too- softer this time. His features more relaxed.

"I'll keep quiet" he nodded and I half smirked. It was an odd feeling. I actually felt myself smile; not directly at him, but just at the situation in general, feeling more relaxed now than half an hour ago. I looked up to him as he turned to go.

"So…is this goodbye?" I asked him with a shrug. He nodded.

"Obviously"

I nodded at his words; probably for the best. He took hold of the door handle in his grip.

I sighed looking down at my phone- it had gone ten. I thought about turning to sit back on my sofa and watch the whale documentary like I had planned on doing. Soon he would be gone from my mind like a cartoon in a comic, never really having existed in the first place.

It was probably better that way…

That was until my eyes caught the back of his head as he turned. A trickle of blood fell down the side of his neck as my eyes spied a sliced cut.

"Oh shit you're bleeding!" I told him as he turned back to look at me. He tilted his head and crossed his eyes at me.

"Huh?"

I moved closer to him, my hands which were folded across my front seemed to reach up to touch his bandana. He let me. But froze as I touched the back of his head. His scales a lot smoother and warmer than I envisioned. He hissed as I yelped and jumped back.

"Sorry! Sorry!" I told him my eyes bubbled with fear as he reached up to touch the back of his head. A small scrape of blood crossed his chunky finger.

"musta been one of those punks- its alright- it'll go" he said with a shrug. Now it was my turn to look at him crazed.

"What! You could get concussion or something!"

he seemed to laugh.

"Look at me girly- do I look like I get concussion?"

I stayed silent.

"Exactly"

I huffed.

"Well…I should check it…at least let me check it…you did save my life; a life for a life?" I offered with a raise of my hand. He was about to wave it off opening his mouth to speak when I interrupted again.

"I have beer too...as a thank you?" again, I chewed the tip of my lip.

His mouth shut. His eyes lifted a little from their crossed state.

"Well…I have time for one" he said with a small nod as if he tried to convince himself with little difficulty. I smiled again.

I knew a way into a guy's heart. I wasn't sure what pushed me to get him to stay, but I was glad about it. Probably because the only friends I had around here were April and Casey, and a change of pace had seemed to blown my interest through the roof.

I was far too interested in him, and I was liking it far too much.

I lead him into my small kitchen and sat him down at my wooden table. He followed me unsure of what I was doing. Hell I was unsure what I was doing too; but I opened my fridge and handed him a bottle of beer. He took it quickly, as he popped the lid and sipped it carefully, completely un-passed at the moment. I wanted to giggle at how normal this seemed, like I had just invited a guy round for a beer.

Not that I had invited a 7ft talking turtle up into my kitchen, after saving me from three drunk potential rapists.

I felt myself pale.

I poured myself a small glass of whisky and took a heavy drink ceasing my tongue at the twinge. It seemed to do the trick.

"Ya okay?" he asked as I took a breath and turned my eyes back to his. I looked to him as I picked up my whisky in my hand.

"Sorry- just… you ever think life is set one way…and then the next thing you know-" I said with exaggerated hands.

"Ya sat in ya kitchen with a giant ass turtle after jus bein' felt up in a alleyway?"

"Damn; you talk and read minds too?"

I took another mouthful. He smirked at me. I looked back and smiled to him; leaning against my sink. I laughed a little at the normality again. I rubbed the side of my head with my hand.

"Is it weird for you that I'm not freaking out?"

"Most people run screamin' when they see us…or faint- you're a slight success story"

"I screamed- but then again you were breaking into my apartment" I said with a point of my finger.

"Hey, I wasn't tryin' ta-"

I hushed him putting my glass down and moving to grab my first aid kit from the top of the fridge.

"You're- you're hushing me now?!" he said with an abrasive tone. I grinned and opened up the kit, grabbing cotton swabs, as I turned to wash them under my tap. I turned to look over my shoulder at him.

He looked up at me, then leant back in my chair, extending his leg out in front of him taking another sip of the beer I handed him. I turned towards him as he eyed me or more so, the cotton swabs; a nervous look in his eye.

"You aren't gonna bite me if this stings, are you?" I asked him honestly as he took another swig of his beer.

"Depends" he said causally watching me with a new playful look in his eyes.

I froze.

He chuckled under his breath as he rolled his eyes at me.

"You're too easy"

"Jerk" I breathed as I moved over to him and leant over to his shoulder.

I eyed his cut slightly as I pressed the cold swab to his neck. His skin was rough, but smother than it looked, almost like elephant skin; and warm. My fingers splayed out a little as I pressed on him, feeling the green beneath my prints. He gritted his teeth together once; eyes squeezing shut in pain. I lifted my fingers away, only placing them on the cotton swab away from his skin.

It was odd, but as I worked he seemed to grumble and growl. I all but muffled a small giggle under my breath.

"What so funny?" he asked gruffly as I turned my head to look at him. My fingers gently pressed against his neck as I pressed down onto his cut soothing it again; he growled twice over rumbling in his chest. This time I didn't back away. I kept just as close.

"You can take down rapists, officers, probably buildings by the looks of you…but a little swab on your cut…and your growling at me like I'm the threat" I giggled again, and I could see him trying to recompose himself as still as possible.

I pressed again a little harder as he turned away and flinched.

I hushed him again studying the cut, my fingers slowly began dancing away again, this time over the light coloured scales on his neck. I could feel the movement of body and breath lifting underneath my fingers. The bleeding was easing slowly as I pressed against him against; my other hand coming to rest on his shoulder lazily, not really noticing it as I concentrated on his small cut. The room fell quiet as I worked for a few minutes; a gurgle or purr fell out of him as his eye caught my own. Making me stop slowly what I was doing as I lifted my fingers away from him.

His light bright eyes shone into mine almost capturing me for a moment as he watched my moves gently.

"You're good" I told him swallowing down the growing lump in my throat as I smiled nervously; it didn't touch my eyes.

I turned and threw the cotton swab in the bin and grabbed my whisky cup again. Taking another gulp, squeezing my eyes shut at the burn.

"Fucked up day" I whispered to myself as I huffed and turned back to him. He watched me with a small smug look on his face. His free arm crossed across his hip as the other touched the bottle to his lips again.

"What?" I asked feeling his eyes rake over me.

"Ain't never seen a chick drink whisky straight before" he said with a shrug. I rolled my eyes.

"well, guess we're both one of a kind then" I said lifting the glass to my lips. He put the empty bottle of beer down on the counter and stretched his neck left and right with a satisfying crack.

"You drink whisky?" I asked him as he tilted his head coolly with a soft nod. I lifted a glass out of the cupboard and sat down beside him.

"every now an' again"

"Jack? you seem like a 'Jack' guy to me" I said pouring a little into the glass and refilling mine. He looked to me for a moment; a longing look, then laughed shaking his head.

"What?" I asked again.

"Not'in…jus'…you sittin' with me like a was a normal guy at a bar"

He smirked gently at me as I looked to him with wide eyes and then burst out laughing and shook my head.

"wow" I said to him tucking one of my legs over my other. "I don't think I've ever sat with a guy at a bar…ever…you're not the only one who thinks people will run screaming from you" I said with a sad pointed smile. He dropped his eyebrows tightly and grimaced.

"How come?"

I looked my self up and down amusedly. He remained the same, confused.

"Lets put it this way…I'm assuming you've seen a picture of April before? Casey's girlfriend?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. He nodded still pulling the same face.

"well…I'm no 'April', and 'April's' are what this world runs on" I said honestly, taking my eyes away from him as I took another sip of my drink.

He stayed silent; stoic almost as I sighed and shook my head.

"dose guys down dat alley seemed to want ya fine" he said and I looked to him with a 'are you for real?' look.

"yeah…because that's what you want in a man" I giggled and rubbed my eye. A yawn fell out of me. "Nah, all the good ones want good looking ones; no big deal" I shrugged. He looked at me with a confused expression. I thought it might have been pity.

"I'm good being alone; less trouble" I told him with a half hearted look. He twitched.

"Ya caused plenty on ya own" he asked with a smirk as I laughed lightly at his words.

I turned away, lowering my eyes as I let a small yawn out. "besides, ya look good to me" he said with a shrug. For a minute I could have sworn I felt myself blush. But I let it go as I stifled another nervous yawn.

"I should letcha sleep…I need ta get back anyway" he said as I swallowed looking up to him.

I followed him as he stood for a minute, his height still took me by surprise as he towered over me. He shuffled out of my kitchen- I followed on his tail, taking in his large shell as we walked. It was covered in patterns and lines and Japanese symbols up and down.

He turned once as he reached my windows.

"Keep this locked" he told me with a point of his finger. He reached down and pulled a fork out of his pocket, twirling it it expertly in his hand. I wasn't sure if that was meant as a warning or a threat as I watched his hands move.

He caught my eye again.

"An listen to ya cousin; no more alley way adventures"

"Yes sir" I snorted as he smirked at me and turned diving out of my window. He flew up onto my roof as I ran out after him. The grin on my face mischievous and wide. I didn't see him after that; just the darkness and the slight smoke coming from the rooftop pipes.

Silence rang out as I stayed on my balcony for another moment, taking in the beautiful sky lights of New York. I always wanted to see the sky line, but from my tiny building I could never really see it.

I looked over to the apartment next to mine, further down, lights off.

I pulled my phone out again and looked down to my phone.

It had gone 1 am…

Jeeze, were we sat there that long?

I shivered as I felt a chill around my body as I turned heading in sliding the door shut and walking passed my curtain…

"Damn girl, wait for the click!" an annoyed voice called as I turned round snappishly. A smile fell to my face as I laughed heavily. I eyed the roof top unable to see him.

I giggled and stuck my head out through the door.

"Good night Raphael!" I called longingly in a sing song voice. With a final growl I shut the door; waiting for the click as I turned and headed straight to bed. I walked with a bounce in my step that felt new and breezy. My mind rushed through the events of the evening as I felt myself barrel down a weird path. The attack, the rescue, the run home…Raphael...

I shut my bedroom door behind me tightly as I rested my head against it.

I had taken it all so lightly, everything seemed so peachy…but then I felt the day's exhaustion hit me like a brick to the face.

Sleep was definitely what I needed- sleep would help me get through the day tomorrow.

I pulled on the best PJ's I could find and swirled the covers over me. Finding sleep was a hell of a lot easier this time around as my mind drifted softly into my recount with Raphael…

* * *

 **Allllrightttt- what do we think of this? i wanted them to have a playful banter with each other- i think Bonnie could hold her own against him.. she may have something to prove though...**

 **ahh! I do love this story! hope you guys are too!**


	4. A little Time, Further Down The Line

**Thanks to Everyone reading!**

 **I am alot further into the story at the mo than what you guys are- but writers block's hit- Im working on it though. This is a story I need to continue!**

 **Also planning on updating my other stories soon too!**

 **Lots of love,**

 **Owl x**

* * *

Four days had passed and I had thought about him everyday. I wondered if he was safe; if Casey had seen him. I knew better than to ask; he had told me he needed to be kept a secret and I respected that- he had enough respect to keep my end of the bargain in tact.

It was actually a lot easier than I had thought it was going to be.

It had turned Friday in the shop, Casey and I had put the last of my moving boxes into his car.

"So you feelin' like a New Yorker yet?" he asked as I smiled to him.

Oh yeah totally Casey, got attacked met a turtle, found out you asked him to keep me safe; totally New York…

"Yeah completely; its a lot busier here than home" I added and he grinned.

"Oh yeah- you could say that"

I understood the hint he was making. I grinned to him trying to be oblivious.

"Anyway; you comin' round for dinner tonight?" he asked as I grinned.

"Yeah, always" I told him as he nudged my shoulder with his fist.

We got to their apartment before it had turned dark. April looked relaxed in her sweats as she greeted us.

Casey and April shared a kiss as I passed them putting down the beer Casey had gotten on the way home, on top of her kitchen worktop.

"busy day?" April asked me as I smiled.

"I had a three-hour lecture on welcoming new students into the university- it dragged by. At least I'm not back there till Tuesday" I told her as she laughed.

"And you finally get rid of the last of your boxes."

"Officially, I am now moved in" I told her as she popped the bottle tops off her drink.

"Well, I'll drink to that" she told me clinking her bottle with mine…

The night carried on steadily as we settled in to watch some kind of action film. I had zoned out about an hour in. My mind heading straight to Raphael again, wondering if he still remembered my face or if he had saved another girl from my predicament.

I looked to the floor.

I was too easily forgotten; he wouldn't care.

Didn't seem like the type to stick around anyway.

Just then Casey's phone buzzed. He looked down at it and then back up to April who eyed him nervously.

"Its just Raph" he shrugged to her, and turned away from the sofa, standing up before going to answer the phone.

"Hey man, whats goin' on?"

Then he disappeared into their bedroom, putting the door on a slant as his voice disappeared. I couldn't concentrate on anything else.

He was speaking to him. On that phone; inches away from me.

I got up and stretched.

"just goin to the bathroom Ap" I told her and she nodded unsuspecting and turned her head back to the movie.

I tip toed down the corridor, slowly, letting my feet disappear from April's ears. I found myself perched by the bedroom door as Casey's voice got louder.

"Bonnie? Yeah she's here with us…yeah sorry shoulda said...nah its cool bro thanks for checkin...huh? yeah, yeah tomorrow night…alright bro"

Then the phone clicked and Casey went silent. Was he checking up on me? Was he near my home again?

I turned on my heels as I heard Casey scuttle close to the door as I closed the bathroom a few more inches, closing me in. I leaned my head against the frame listening as Casey entered back in to the living room, turning to talk to April.

I quietly opened the door and stuck my head through. Both their faces were watching the TV; Casey's arm lazily hung around her as she kissed his cheek once.

"Who was that?" she asked in a murmur.

"Just Raph…he was in Bonnie's neighbourhood, was concerned because all the lights were off at her place…just being a good help" he shrugged as April nodded.

"That's good, is he patrolling?" she asked.

Wait did April know him too?!

A part of me wanted to march over to them and discuss our mutual friend in detail. To open up the can of worms and spill it all out in the open. But I knew it was better to not; Casey would find out about my attack, and I wouldn't have kept my promise to him.

I sighed silently.

"Yeah, he's covering her area now- swapped with Donnie, think there's been a lot of foot activity near"

So Raphael was stalking me. Well at least I knew for definite he was now stalking me. And I was unsure how I felt about it; I expected myself to be a lot angrier than I was, but at the same time, I wondered what it would take to get him to reveal himself to me again. I crossed my eyebrows together. And tutted at myself.

I was acting like some damsel in distress. I hated that. Surely I could take care of myself; I knew I could, even if my track record wasn't exactly upholding my opinion. I bit my lip…maybe I would see this Raphael again some how…

Maybe I was being an idiot.

This guy didn't have a lot of time, if he was some kind of superhero then he was far too busy to have me bothering him…

I watched again as April looked to him worried.

"Maybe she should come stay with us for a while…until it clears"

"We could ask…I don't wanna worry her though, it's a new life an all, and Raph's keeping it clear- I think he's doing patrol till late tonight anyway; just hanging near the building."

I swallowed, wondering if he would be checking in my windows again. I should have left a beer out for him- as a thank you for keeping it safe. Or even better, left my balcony door open to annoy him and amuse me. I cursed myself for not doing so.

Then I realised how ridiculous I was being, hiding in the bathroom hoping to steal more information about my secret rescuer.

I rolled my eyes and headed back out to pick up on the rest of the movie. They continued to murmur as I reappeared, finding me harmless as I curled up on the large armchair, watching the characters on the screen flit by.

But slowly, I found myself zoning out, focusing on something- or someone else entirely…

I thought back to Raphael again; my curiosity far too peaked to even consider slowing down. I wondered if he was lurking around my apartment again

if he was fighting someone…

If he was being safe…

Didn't Casey say he was going to be near my building tonight?

Then my feet were moving.

"Hey guys…I think I'm gonna shoot home; I'm feeling a headache coming on- just wanna get to bed."

"Why don't you stay here?" Casey asked protectively but I shook my head.

"Its totally fine and tomorrow I got like a shit ton of work to do for college so I'll probably be there all day and all night" I shrugged grabbing my coat.

"Want me to take you?" Casey pushed and this time, instead of refusing the help. I took it with a welcoming grin on my face.

"That would great, thanks Case." I smiled. He turned to grab his coat as I looked to April.

"You sure you're okay? you look a little green"

I burst into a small laugh at the irony of it.

"Yeah- I'll be fine April, I just want to get home" I told her honestly. She nodded to me softly with a smile and I thanked her for dinner.

"You making any drop in's on the way home?" April asked in a secretive tone.

Casey shook his head.

"Naww- I'm up early tomorrow- on the second shift; Raph will manage on his own"

I wanted to be cheeky and ask who Raph was, but I felt like I would be starting something I couldn't dig out of so I let it go.

"Night April" I called as we left together, she waved happily before turning back to the TV and snuggling down.

Casey drove quietly as he went, thoughtful. I didn't mind; the drive gave me something to think over as I looked out the window to the sky line.

He was out there, somewhere…

Maybe on my building again.

Who knew?

I sighed as Casey turned to look at me.

"That sure was a long one" he said with a small chuckle. I looked to him biting my tongue.

"Just tired Casey…I'm good" I told him with a small smile. He nudged me with his shoulder as he pulled up outside my building.

"Well…take it easy girl, you know where were at if you need anything"

"I know Case- you guys have been really accommodating"

"Yeah- well, here's hoping you'll take care of us when your big and rich in your new job as a psychologist"

I laughed at his cheek.

"You know it" I grinned and opened the car door, waving to him as I got out.

He watched me as I entered my apartment building, and as I flitted up the stairs to the top of my floor. I made sure to wave to him out of the hallway window so that he could see I was inside safe.

I opened my flat door, excitedly. Switching on all the lights I could, feeling curious and explorative. I opened my balcony and stepped out onto the little black metal structure.

The night again was amazing from up here, the city lights blew heavily across the small silhouette I could see against blacked out buildings; I was hidden well- trapped between two buildings that were as close as adjoining rooms and with a brick wall to my right and left- it sandwiched me in perfectly. Probably why Raphael felt safe enough to swing down onto my balcony to seal my door.

I pulled my round chair into a more central position and curled up with a blanket.

I wasn't sure what I was waiting for, I wasn't sure what my mind had thought of as I watched the skyline but as I sat there, waiting for something I couldn't even put my finger on, for the first time in a long time, I had felt completely secure and happy.

I just didn't know why I was getting my hopes up.

I headed back inside my fingers looking for my copy of 'Edgar Allen Poe' Stories as I found it and headed back out onto my balcony.

I settled in reading the first chapter of a 'tell tale heart' when I heard a thud. My eyes lifted from my book as a smile filled my face.

I was like a child waiting for Santa clause to arrive. Only if Santa clause was green and could kill you with one swipe of his hand. Slowly and quietly, I put my book down on my coffee table and using my rounded chair. I stood up on it- stretching and reaching the very edge of my apartment roof. My eyes could just peer above the concrete as I looked around curiously, eyeing its empty space.

Nothing.

I grumbled feeling a childish pout come to my face. I sighed feeling silly as I rubbed down one side of my face shaking my head with an unamused laugh.

I was about to let go and crouch back down, when I felt a breath on the back of my neck.

My body froze. Hairs stood alert on my arms.

"Ya really makin' this job so hard for me…"

I yelped, turning round twisting. And then I was falling as hands grabbed and pulled on me, steadying me as I registered my weight being lifted and moved.

I sat in arms bridal style.

My eyes fell on his.

My mouth fell open.

My face now inches from his.

"Yo gotta death wish?" he growled out as I eyed him widely. "Ya can't be climbin' like dat!" He sighed and placed me back down on the ground.

"You came back" it was the only words I could muster up, he breathed evenly, unsure himself of what to say or do. I didn't quite understand it either. I had looked for him, with wanting and he had come to me willingly. But here we were.

"Sorry…I heard a noise above me…couldn't help it" my excuse was lame and he saw right through me. But didn't call me out on it. He shook his head and raised an eyebrow; his lip pouted naturally.

"Yeah yeah…you're like yer Cousin; way too curious an' always lookin' for trouble"

"I guess I found it tonight" I said with a point to his chest. He smirked playfully as I giggled, way, way to happily. He smiled to me breezily; the first open smile with no other emotion attached to it. He looked me up and down once, probably scanning me doing his job.

"Thought ya were at Casey's" he said with an accused tone.

"Thought you weren't stalking me" I added with a playful raised expression. He grumbled again as I laughed. He turned his back to me and sulkily turned around.

"Oh come on Raphael… what's a girl gotta do to make you smile huh?" I said confidently. He smirked mischievously to me.

"You got any more beer?"…

I chuckled holding my balcony door open for him.

"Come on in stalker" I laughed smiling at him. He ate into it, moving quickly and happily into my flat as I shut the door… only slightly…

He turned to look at me with wide annoyed eyes. I giggled in delight at my plan.

"You're so easy to wind up" I told him as I clicked the door shut waiting for the lock…

And thats how everything began...

* * *

 **A little bit of a short one here- but I'm warming them up to each other...you'll see ;)**

 **What do you thinks gonna happen?**

 **Please leave a review guys- I'm needy like that ;)**

 **Also wondering if...in chapters way way waaaayy further down the line- I add any smut in or lemons?**

 **I'll leave it up to you guys!**

 **Thanks**

 **Owl x**


	5. Months of Visits, Flying Feelings

hat's how it all started.

We would just catch each other on an off guard moment, mostly on an early evening when the sky turned dark and it was alright for him to sneak around. In the space of a month he visited 21 nights out of the 30, and that then turned one month into an eventual 3; all of which he visited just as often and just as near. Just casual- sometimes one drink, some times two. We ate together, watched TV…it was comfortable- nice. And we would talk, laugh- he just seemed to turn up at the right time and I took the opportunity to ease drop when ever I could on his conversations with Casey.

I felt like he purposefully would phone Casey; like a calling card. I could hear his gruff accent to him.

"Jus lettin' ya know I'm swinging east tonight if ya wanna do a run out"

I knew it was his way of letting me know he was about. And I would let him know by leaving a beer on my patio table and keeping my balcony door off the lock. He would come barrelling in most nights and I would just roll my eyes, throwing him the TV remote or food or another drink depending on what I was doing.

It felt comfortable and safe to be around him. And I loved his company more than I ever could tell.

There was a chemistry between us; flames there when we talked really thoroughly enjoying each others company.

We hadn't spoken much into our families, if he had one at all; but I knew he wasn't alone. He would use words like 'us' and 'we', I never pushed him on it though. I knew he needed to be as secretive around me as I was around Casey. It didn't matter; I didn't care if he was one of ten thousand.

It was only him.

I would mention Casey often in replace of his secrets, but because of our mutual friendship, I never needed to explain my family life to him. Casey never got suspicious; and sneaking around thrilled me for impossible reasons.

We would go on into the night with our playful chat, just hanging around and watch TV for a few hours before he had to disappear.

I missed him as soon as he left.

I got used to calling him my 'comfortable stalker' and he would grin at it. A grin which had me grinning ten times as wide as he was. He would often use pet names for me; most of them full of banter like 'princess' and 'girly'. But there were times when he spoke so earnestly, the growl in his throat would hum and his voice would soften into the most beautiful tone. It was hard to ignore the chemistry going on between us…

I swallowed and turned back to Raph who was currently stretched out on the sofa; his arm muscles about the same width as my waist, as he lounged lazily, with one foot on my wooden coffee table and an arm the back of my couch. His eyes on my TV screen.

"No, nope- sorry; there's no way I could ever watch that trash" I scrunched my face up in phased pain as he looked to me with another grumble. I had thrown him the remote a few minutes ago and he had flicked through the two channels before settling on some sort of robot fighting show.

Raphael turned to look at me with a disgusted expression.

"Oh come on princess; it can't all be girly shit in here"

"Since when have I ever made you watch 'girly shit?'" I laughed at him as he turned his red clad face to me with a pointed look. My mouth dropped open once in shock.

"For your information Raphael; I don't watch girly trash- that's my idea of hell…I prefer-thrillers…horrors even if they scare the shit outta me…" I giggled lowly as he smirked.

"Come on, give this one shot- if ya hate it, I'll buy you more beer" he said with a shrug. I laughed twice, looking into his amber eyes as he turned his head towards me.

"You owe me more beer any way, you've drank like twenty five cases these past months!" I chuckled. He grinned at me leaning over towards me as he smiled with his oddly human teeth.

"I provide ya wid a service and you pay me wid beer"

"Oh and what service would that be?" I crossed my arms as he took another sip. He looked thoughtful for a moment.

"body guard" he shrugged. My face fell for a moment until I burst out laughing at his comment. I carried on rolling with laughter as he turned to look at me with slight annoyance.

"What? I protect ya; I watch ya house"

"No you watch my house because you are in my house and you are in my house because I have beer and food. You're more a raccoon that a turtle- you know that right?"

"Yeah yeah princess, whateva"

"Annndd you say you're protecting me, I haven't needed your protecting since the first night we met- so technically, I have been taking care of myself…you've just been coming back" I said with a raise of pride in my voice. I leaned back into my cushions with a smugness.

His fingers brushed my back in the lightest of way as I realised I was leaning on his arm. He didn't seem to register it and didn't seem to be bothered by it, as his delighted face was still smirking at me with his bright eyes mischievously twinkling.

I hated to admit how much I loved this, how much I enjoyed playing with him and winding him up; and I could tell, from his features and the atmosphere that settled between us,

He was on the same wave length as I was.

"Why do ya think you 'avent had any problems?" he gestured to himself triumphantly. I looked to him with mock shock.

"You mean to tell me you've been following me everywhere I go?! Even in the supermarket? I knew that was you in the checked coat that one time!" I giggled at my sarcasm as he shook his head with a playful growl. I touched his arm once in a grateful innocent way.

"I appreciate your work…stalker"

"Good…was t'hinkin' about quittin' for a minute" he chugged his drink finishing it down as he stood to go put it in the kitchen.

"Ya wan' a whisky?" he asked nodding to my drink.

It thrilled me that he had asked. It thrilled me he felt comfortable enough to ask. It thrilled me that he knew my little flat well enough to search for food and drink without asking.

I smiled to him as I handed him my empty glass over.

Our fingers brushed as he took the little cup in his giant hand, warming me more than I cared to admit. I snuggled down into the sofa as he walked into the kitchen comfortably, almost giggling at how alike an old married couple we were.

I sighed softly, constantly keeping my smile in place as I watched the TV for the first time that evening. It was as I thought it would be; boyish and loud, and I rolled my eyes and found myself looking down after a few more minutes.

Looking down, I started to feel the small ache in my neck from leaning over text books all day. I took a moment to stretch my chest out in front, leaning into the sofa as I clicked my body a few times over. I sat further up and clicked my neck, rubbing it in my fingers as gritted my teeth.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I worked on a knot in between my shoulder and neck.

I hadn't even heard his feet coming into the room, but the next thing I knew, he was sat beside me taking up ¾ of the small couch again putting my glass down in front of me.

"Whatcha done?" he asked lowly as I looked up at him.

"Oh nothing, nothing…it's what I get for studying all afternoon, leaning over a book messes you up" I said.

He watched me quietly for a few more minutes; thoughtful as he seemed to study my body.

For once I felt anxious; I wasn't the most…tightest bodied female in the world- I was bigger, broader and I hadn't cared about it till I felt his eyes roam on me.

It was only when he growled at me again did the heat stop rising to my cheeks.

"Well doin' that's only gonna make it worse!" he said crossly. I turned my head to look at him in confusion. He seemed to be weighing something up as he clicked his teeth and tutted at me twice.

I had noticed his clicking before; it was more an animal trait that human; and it made him so much cuter and innocent…

"What?" I giggled the word out as he pursed his lips and crossed his eye brows at me.

"C'mere" he mumbled out as I looked to him. He motioned for me to come closer to him. I stayed frozen as he growled and sighed sharp.

"sit 'ere" he said again a little more forceful as I felt his hand that rested on my back, push me gently.

I moved, obeying his rules as I moved to sit down on the floor in front of him. He moved too- shuffling into the centre of the sofa and parting his legs so I could rest in between them; each of his giant feet beside my hips as I sat still.

"Put yer elbows on ma knees" he told me and I found my self responding to his words instantly. I rested nervously for the first time as my elbows touched down on his padded knees, my heart hammered and my stomach twisted.

"Don't move" he told me in a voice even softer than I was used to. My stomach pooled again; this time travelling down in between my legs. I blushed crazily, thanking god he couldn't see my face

That's when I felt his hands touch my neck, my baggy shirt which fell off one of my shoulders sprang as far down my arm as possible. He squeezed my skin there in the most delicious soft way.

I sighed out deeply, feeling my eyes shut upon contact and allowing my head to lull into his hand on his command.

A bounce of pleasure travelled down my spine and hit my core.

He did it again slowly pulling so smoothly at the knots and crooks as he squeezed me twice, moving my head from side to side.

I was completely under his spell with the smallest of two touches. My heart skipped about five thousand beats as my breathing doubled in long wispy breaths. His fingers moved again; those giant hands now gripped the top of my shoulders lightly; his warm strong thumbs rubbed at my back in circles.

I bit my lip hard containing my moan.

I couldn't do that; no way could I do that in front of him.

He would die.

I would die.

This was nothing; just a friend helping another friend out.

It was innocent- completely and utterly-

And then one of his fingers brushed my hair line as Goosebumps fluttered all over my skin.

And I moaned; brokenly, wistfully. Sensually.

I felt myself melting into the floor beneath me and the rest of my body into his arms as he supported me with the movements of his fingers. He carried on his work, his hand now lightly brushing my hairline with a few slow sensual flicks of his long finger.

I felt like I was floating. My mouth constantly open and my eyes constantly shut. He moved me softly, lulling my body perfectly into his control as he massaged my shoulders and neckline.

I could feel another moan building, and something else entirely. He pushed my head down towards my chest as his fingers laced onto my skull softly, rolling them throughout my hair.

I moaned again, my shoulders slumping into goo as he continued to work patterns and squeezes at my body.

I was floating high away, the TV noise droned out and all I could hear was the movement of his hands in my hair and the soft long breathes he took out of his nostrils.

My hands that hung loosely over his knees soon found his calves, as subconsciously and in feather touches I placed them on him gently.

The feeling of his scaled skin added to my experience.

And then all too soon he stopped; his hands retracted from my hair and I could hear him leaning back.

I could have cried. I didn't want to move.

I swallowed the lump in my throat only to realise I had dribbled down my chin slightly at my open mouth. I clenched my teeth together shut tight and opened my eyes in shock.

"Ow's that?" he asked quietly after a short while.

I had no idea how to respond.

Should I tell him that it was the best experience of my life?

Or should I just jump on him and ask him for more?

I sat up straighter and widened my eyes.

Was I thinking like that now?

"Amazing" I breathed honestly. I could hear his chuckle in his breath. My eyes caught my glass and in the slight reflection of it I could see him grinning winningly at me. My heart stammered in my chest as my cheeks heated up fully.

"You could do that professionally" I chuckled as he laughed and shook his head.

"Well ya can pay me if ya really want" he joked; but there was an edge to it- a flirtation almost that set my abdomen tight and burning. I grinned to him and shook my curls out; not even bothering to me.

"You get paid enough" I told him staring out towards my canvased wall in front. "how you even…know to do that?" I asked hoping the question wasn't too much of a stretch.

"Somethin' Donnie taught me…we get injured a lot so massage helps"

A minute's silence flitted between us.

Donnie…

This was new. I waited, checking his expression in the reflection of my glass again- it remained the same. A touch of guarding around his eyes but a lot safer than usual.

I decided to press on it.

"Donnie?" I asked continuing to check his expression in the glass.

"Yeah….my bro" he said softly, I could feel a curl on the back of my head being twirled softly and then his fingers lightly brushed the back of my head once gently again, with less pressure this time- almost as if he caught me by accident. I didn't let on. I was enjoying it far too much for him to stop.

"Oh…" was the only thing I could say. My mind scrambled to come up with something else on the subject; feeling like I was getting to know him even more personally, and enjoying every minute of it.

"So…you have a brother…" it was lame and he could tell I was stumped. Usually he would have changed the subject instantly and we would have rolled into some form of playful banter. But it wasn't like that this time…this was personal; the way he touched my hair, and the way my fingers swirled around my calf.

This wasn't like our usual chats-it was more intimate. And I wasn't sure where we were going with it.

"brothers" he commented looking to the table in front. My eyes fixed on the glass focusing on his reflection. My eyes widened.

"How many?"

"3"

"oh…" I cursed at my insanely socially-awkward people skills. "You get along with them?" I asked. He seemed to laugh once but not humour seemed wrapped up in it.

"were real close, looking like dis…we stick together"

"and are they all…walkin' talkin' crime fighting turtles?" I pushed. Another strand of my hair got whipped up in his fingers; in the glass he was no longer looking ahead, but down at my hair in his hands as he wiggled them so slowly and softly, his mouth falling open slightly as I felt my own fingers drift down to his ankle gently and back up again.

"Yeah…deres Donnine….and Leo- Leo's in charge…'e can be a little…he can be the biggest asshole but...he trys 'ard…but 'es still a asshole…"

"Donnie and Leo" I smoothed over my tongue. "as in…Leonardo and Donatello?" My head ran away with my knowledge of Italian renaissance artists.

He froze for a moment, his legs froze and his arms stiffened.

"I'm just thinking of your name too- how they're linked- Italian renaissance artists right?" I pushed further, quicker- letting him know why I came to the assumption. He seemed to relax, and I could feel his muscles in his legs physically soften beside me as he breathed out a relieved breath.

"Yeah- exactly…den Mikey- Michelangelo, 'es youngest" he said, his face told me he wasn't going to say anything else. A look of guilt flitted across his face. His eyes shunned towards my floor, his lips sealed together in dispute. We let the new information settle over us for a few minutes; a peacefulness raked across the living room as our bodies stayed in tact. I felt words bubbling to the surface a minute later.

"I don't have any brothers" I told him "or sisters" I kept my voice even; the painful part of my life rushing back to the surface. "Casey was really the only thing I had in resemblance to a brother. We used to play together when we were little- he kept me safe, taught me how to use a bat" I huffed out a little breathless laughing. Raphael moved his fingers again, relaxing into my hair as I carried on my story.

"My mom died when I was six, so I never really knew her…my dad wasn't the best without her…he was a heavy drinker…" I looked to the floor now, flashes of my father crying on the living room floor surrounded by bottles upon bottles of beer and spirits.

"he never 'urt ya did 'e?" Raph's voice was softer, lower, almost like he was lulling a baby to sleep as his fingers twirled around another strand of hair.

I stayed quiet for a moment- prepping my self as I sighed disappointedly.

"Once" I nodded and Raphael stiffened and growled loudly into the quietness of the room. I ran a finger back down his leg as I hushed him.

"Shhhh- its okay" I whispered-that seemed to do the trick as he fell quiet, letting me finish.

"It was like half a year ago… He had come home blind drunk and was looking for his car keys. I stopped him; I put my hands on his shoulders" I demonstrated into the air- reaching towards the blurry TV.

"..and he put his fist in my face and foot in my stomach; broke my nose and ribs. I called Casey…he went wild. I've never seen him so angry before…"

I sighed letting the memory fizzle away, the burn of the bruise fizzled down with it as I shook my hair loosely and freely as if to shake the nightmare.

"I did get into NYU, that is why I'm here but…its not the only reason- Casey's the only family I can really depend on you know…thought I may as well live closer to him since I couldn't stay at home anymore.."

I told him. A silence ran thick in the air, but it was somehow comforting. I let Raph mull over his own thoughts as slowly, inching myself closer to him. I rested my tired head against his knee. I leaned into it more; my cheek feeling the coolness of his inner thigh.

He tensed ever so slightly but loosened after a minute.

"'Ow could anyone put their 'ands on ya? you're like a doll" I expected his words to come out gruff and angry, but they were completely entranced. I eyed his expression in the glass again finding it matched the tone of voice when he spoke to me; his eyes soft staring at the back of my head, his mouth open. His hand on its own accord flitted over my bare shoulder and neckline again, just softly, not really putting any pressure there.

Just touching.

"So pretty an' soft" he murmured. I closed my eyes and sighed at him dreamily. My fingers still playing on his calves. In that moment my struggles seemed forgotten, my life seemed to settle in front of me as I snuggled into my new friend.

We stayed like that for a little while, just breathing each other in. His fingers slowly creeping back up to my hair line and back down again when I didn't protest. I found my arm wrapping around his leg hugging it to me as I rested quietly.

"So…robot wars not to ya likin'?" he asked as I found myself humming out a laugh.

"I'd put up with it if you wanna watch it" I turned my head and grinned at him. He looked down at me, in a way I had never seen before. His eyes melted down at me illuminating his face which was so soft, his mouth- not grimacing or smirking for once. His lips were gently open and turned up into a warming smile.

Nothing hostile or smug or intimidating.

It was just him, staring at me like I was the most precious thing he had ever seen. I thought back to his words…

He had called me soft and pretty…

He thought I was pretty?

My stomach pooled at the warmth of happiness it brought me as I leaned into him finding my hands back in their original place- on top of his padded knees. I shifted my weight to stand back up and turned to sit beside him, flumping down on the sofa heavily.

My body felt weightless and yet heavy at the same time. My head fell back into the softness of the sofa cushions as I lulled my head again to look at him, looking up at him through my eyelashes.

He wasn't looking directly at me, but I could still see the obvious flicking of his eyes over to me every few minutes. Until he rested his eyes finally on me, looking as far left as he could with a resting smile on his face.

I pulled my legs up onto the couch and found myself leaning against him a little closer than usual. He responded by stretching his leg out to make room for me, and his long arm which hung loose down the side of the couch, now held the top of it securely as if to cage me in.

My heart hammered.

He caught my gaze for a minute. This time my face closer to his as we read each others expressions for a moment.

Whatever my expression was, I couldn't tell. But if it reflected my emotions I was worried.

What was happening?

Luckily, he didn't seem to catch on as he picked up the TV remote from the side and flicked it over to me.

"why don'cha watch somethin' else?" he asked softly. I held the remote in my hand.

"Raph- its your night to pick"

"Yeah well…I'll give one up for ya …"

His words seemed to have such deep hidden meaning in them. Whatever it meant, I beamed to him warmly, my stomach gooey as I watched him through this new rose coloured vision. I wanted more of this; desperately, sickeningly.

I bit my lip and changed over to the new horror movie I had seen on my media player, but never had the guts to put it on to watch alone.

"Wanna protect me?" I laughed as I felt him chuckle beside me. His body making my own move with the slightest lift.

"I'll always protect ya doll"

Again the words were soft and hummed. A new meaning behind it.

That was new.

Doll...

I blushed.

Raphael POV

She loaded up the movie as she curled up near me not even phased at my presence; not that she ever totally was to begin with.

I wanted her closer. Much closer- in my lap.

Oh fuck, how I had dreamed, fantasied of having that…

She was perfect for me, in every little tiny detail.

Her favourite drink, her past times, her laugh, her jokes, her hair colour, her hair smell…the feel of her body under my fingertips as she let me control her…

I had been with a two women; both blind drunk in an alley way, not really sure what they looked like or who they were; it was the best we got…but with Bonnie- it was never anything like this. Those encounters didn't even compare or exist anymore.

Bonnie was a total different league.

I hadn't really noticed to begin with; it was a night three weeks ago when she had bent down to reach for a book she left on the floor, twisting her body round picking things up as her hair splayed around her and her body moved swiftly and beautifully, she bent down accidentally displaying her full cleavage, and my eyes ate her up. Her thick thighs strong, her wide hips held the best round plump ass…

The way her stomach curved in tightly and flared out down to her hips…

Since then, I had imagined her every way possible, in every position possible; those eyes, those long legs, her curved hips, her big round breasts bouncing-

I felt my tail tightening at the very thought of it.

I swallowed it back down. Tonight was different, tonight I wasn't just openly ogling her, thinking about something I could never had…

Tonight I felt as if there were passing minutes, just fragments of seconds, that really made me feel…whatever this was called…

Her sparkling big eyes peaking up at me through her reddish brown bangs, her gorgeous curls in my thick hands, her lovely fingers trailing down my leg….

I let her. She could do anything she wanted to me now, I didn't care. Fuck I wouldn't ever say no to her.

My heart clenched in my chest, sending thunderous spasms down into my shell…

If she knew, she would turn and run a mile; what would a girl like her want with a turtle like me? And even me being a turtle, I wasn't even the best looking turtle, or the funniest or the bravest or the smartest…

No; I had to admire her from inside my head- it was all I would get.

And it was plenty; her friendship was plenty.

I had my time alone on a night. I could suffer for her…

If you could even call this suffering.

A few months of knowing her and I was whipped. I lied to my brothers evenly; incredibly well since Leo hadn't questioned where I was going or noticed when I was out. I suppose he didn't have to when I was back in time for patrol and using Casey as the best excuse…

Another reason to not act on it; her cousin was my best friend…shell, he'd die if he knew what I had been thinking about...

I shook it away.

This was enough. Her cuddled up close to me was enough, massaging her aches was enough.

She was so soft in my hands, her neck and shoulders so delicate even when they were so strong for a girl…it made me love her just a little bit more.

I froze, my eyes set ahead at the TV screen widely.

Wait.

Love?

She suddenly jumped and a short burst of a scream echoed out of her. She pulled her knees up tightly peeking over them and through those beautiful little strands of hair.

"Oh fuck…aren't you scared?!" she whined adorably. My heart doubled and my stomach lulled. I felt my self pale and my palms began to sweat.

"terrified…" I whispered to her.

She leaned closer in, almost against me as she watched from her peep hole.

Yeah, I was completely terrified.

Was I really in love?

* * *

Okay Guys! If your super nice and review I'll post my next chapter soon!

Thanks for keeping reading!

Owl x


	6. Watching her, Talking to him

**Slight M rating here- its not completely, but its hinted-**

 **I dont own ANYTHING teenage mutant ninja turtles as sad as I am about that!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Leave me a review if you can- means alot!**

Bonnie POV

The movie was good, but _fuck_ did I jump. Every few minutes as Raph stayed frozen beside me. He watched with a forgotten look, almost like he was thinking about someone or something else. And soon the movie was forgotten too as the credits rolled by.

I sighed knowing he was going to leave. I really didn't want him too.

He got up like always and I followed him to the window. He didn't say much- usually he would be bragging about something or raging about me making him watch something boring.

Maybe the movie _did_ frighten him and he was just trying to stay heroic. I giggled as he turned to look at me with a raised eyebrow. I smiled a small smile; glad the other expression he had was gone.

"So…will I see you in the rest of the week?" I asked hopefully. He took a breath for a minute and looked at my face. He seemed to observe my features smoothly, his eyes flittering around my gaze gently.

"Dunno…I need to see"

"Oh Okay- no biggie, if you're busy" I shrugged it off, but the disappointment inside felt like warming lava.

"You gonna be a'right?" he asked as I displayed my best 'are you kidding?' look. I pushed out one forced laugh.

"Course! I managed without you before…independently and everything! I can cope without you for a couple of days" I gloated with a giggle. He shook his head and tore into a soft smirk.

"Yeah before ya lived in New York" he spoke with a mocking tone to the end of his voice. I playfully pushed at him with my hand; he didn't even move an inch. He chuckled at my attempt and heat broke through my body, like his smile was sunshine.

I crossed my arms to try and conceal the thudding inside.

"Hey! I can manage just fine no matter what length of time period you're away" I told him bravely. He chuckled and turned to leave one foot crossing my balcony as he ducked down to exit. I bit my lip, needing to say something else- anything else before he disappeared.

"Raph?" I called moving forward. He turned his body as I moved forward- nearly bumping into his chest as I steadied my self. Crouched down like this he was eye level with me, and his face features were so detailed up close.

I stayed quiet for a few seconds, just drinking him in as he did the same. His face changed again, softer, confused but then… _hopeful_ …

At least, I thought it was that…

My hand reached out to touch his shoulder, the other crossed tightly to my chest as the cold night air drifted across us.

My fingers found the muscles at the top of his shoulder as I drifted my hand down his arm slowly, not really going any further than his bicep. I could feel underneath it the scarring of his arm brand; some sort of Chinese or Japanese crested mark there that matched the one on his bandana. His eyes moved to watch my hand then fell back capturing my gaze.

"Whether Casey put you up to this or not, I'm really glad you fell into my life and stayed" my heart echoed through the words lovingly as I caressed the top of his shoulder.

"Truth is…I wouldn't live anywhere else now…" I smiled bashfully blush coating my cheeks honestly.

His eyes steadied out as they stared back into mine. We stayed quiet for a minute just letting what I said settle. I half expected him to laugh and tell me to fuck off in his jokey way.

But he didn't.

He just looked at me warmly; again like I was the most precious thing in the world.

I could feel the blush burning at my cheeks.

"Case never put me up to it doll- Its always bin jus' me…an even though I can't really go anywhere…you know…like _dis_ …I wouldn't-not _now_ anyway…" he shrugged gently as his warm eyes began unravelling me again. For the first time since we met, I believed him.

And his words meant more to me than he could ever know.

 _I choose to be here…I choose to be near you…_

"Night Raph" I whispered to him knowing he needed to go, I retracted my hand slowly, wishing he could stay, but I bit my tongue.

I knew I would ask and I knew he would freak.

He sighed at me looking like he was in a dream as he turned and in a flash, he was gone.

And I stood alone in my little apartment, missing him with each parting second.

I didn't exactly know what this was, but it was growing.

And I didn't exactly want to stop it either.

I swallowed and mulled over the idea as I began tidying up around my living room collecting our glasses and things...

There was a heavy part of me that wanted to explore this, wanted to grasp this new curious thing between us. He was always so careful with me and caring; a trait which I thought he would never have…but it was so prominent. He wore his heart on his sleeve constantly and it was something I was growing to love.

I froze as my hand tightened around the glass.

 _Love?_

I scrambled back into my kitchen and shoved everything in the sink.

Was I? had I not even noticed my feelings all this time?

Was I beginning to fall in love with this turtle man?

I swallowed as I thought back to him this evening…

The way he touched me so caringly, the softness of his voice as he spilled out the close information about his brothers…

The way his fingers played on my skin.

My hands instantly flew up to touch where he had been. Flashing images of him there came spiralling back…

 _How careful his hands were, how gentle and secure they made me feel…_

Then the dark thoughts about wanting for him to do more came flying back too.

 _I imagined him continuing his massage, his hands just tipping over the front of my body, teasing at the top of my breasts until his fingers were over... I would gasp at the feel of them being there, touching my body in this new way until they would slip under my t-shirt and down into my bra…_

I flung my head back up from its dreaming position and blinked wide.

I needed to sleep; that was all- just sleep and this would go away.

I couldn't ruin my friendship with him, not when he was all I had- not that he would even want me anyway. Did turtle men even _like_ human women in that way?

But I knew I wanted him. I could feel the _want_ burning desirably in my pants as I marched down the hall, ripping off my day clothes and dived into bed.

Sleep.

Yes. That's all I needed.

A good amount of sleep.

And try my best to ignore the buzzing desire that filled me as I gritted my teeth and slammed my eyes shut….

 _"Raph…" I called for him, his hands on me moving all over my body as his fingers slipped down me over my shoulders going lower…_

 _His breathy mouth kissed my naked back as his fingers splayed over my breasts caressing in a way I didn't know they could…_

 _I was sat in his lap his hands wandering all over me as I arched and moved with him. His warm body tighter and sleeker against mine as he growled and grumbled beneath me._

 _Shamelessly, I called for him as my body dove into more pleasure at his touches over my bare skin._

 _He kissed my shoulders and then into my neck as I gasped out desperately for him…_

 _"Raph! Urgh!" I felt my insides tighten as my body splashed with pleasure, growing and growing until-_

Then there was a crash somewhere that made me sit bolt up in my bed.

My eyes flickered round the room as I panicked; my heart going a thousand miles an hour. Breaths tumbled out of me as I jumped out of my bed and stared out of my window.

It had sounded so close and near.

Then a distant noise made me aware of the dumpster below my window as something pounded on it once and a cat squealed out a loud hiss.

I breathed out a breath of relief and shook my head feeling silly as I laughed a little to myself. Once my heart rate had settled down, I turned and looked back at my bed.

And my dream spun back round at me.

I leant against my wall.

Confusion and so many feelings scattered through me. My body still on fire from invisible fantasised touches.

I swallowed deeply.

I was so screwed.

Raph's POV

I lingered around her apartment a little longer than usual. I figured since I had been on time for patrol every day in this last month, I could get away with being late to one session.

I paced up and down for a long time, my eyes not really focusing on anything in particular as I turned in the dark and swallowed for the sixteenth time.

I had left her an hour and a half ago…but hadn't really left her apartment building. I huffed as I stood at the edge of the building looking down longingly to her little balcony.

I just wanted to go back down there for a few minutes…just a few more minutes with her.

Her hands replayed through my head; the gentle touches she left on me scorned at my skin leaving it tingling with pins and needles.

I sighed and ran a hand down my head. I was in _deep_ , but I couldn't leave her alone. I wasn't giving up my time with her for anything or anyone.

I swallowed, knowing this would only end badly; she would get a boyfriend and then I would be forgotten.

Its what would be best for her.

Or my brothers would find out and ruin everything for me.

Until then, I could think about her right? Maybe smell her a little more…or touch her like I had done…

My head fell hot at the idea of touching her again.

I loved touching her, I loved smelling her, I loved the fact she sat even closer to me after it…

I shook my head and turned again pacing a little more, trying to rid my self of the ideas or thoughts…

And then a sound stopped me from my thoughts.

It was long and breathy- coming from the window to the right…

Bonnie's bedroom.

I jumped down immediately, worried she had hurt herself or fallen.

I moved just as stealthily as I normally would, finding it a lot harder considering there was no balcony here, just the tight lining of the concrete ledge as I moved around.

I crouched in front of the small narrow window as I stared in with a smirk ready to see the beautiful klutz. Her window was slightly open, letting her curtains blow gently in the breeze.

I looked into the dark room as another breathy sound hit my ears.

This time I froze. My insides burst with icicles of spasms that shook me.

It was a moan. A long hummed moan.

She was in bed; Only a t-shirt on her and in black panties that really showed off the colour of her tanned skin.

My eyes bugged out as I eyed her. She was sleeping, breathing deeply.

Another moan came from her as her body twisted and she mumbled something I couldn't hear under her breath. She laid still for another minutes as I watched her unsure if she was awake or not.

But her body flipped over again, moving slowly and gently. She was laying flat on her back, her long thick legs winding in the sheets gently as her toes curled.

Another long breath as her hands lay lazily over her body.

I smiled to myself in a deep sigh- she was even beautiful when sleeping.

Her chest rose and fell heavily. And then in her dream state she rolled back onto her stomach, her head facing the window towards me. Then her body lifted in the middle; and her panties lifted too- her ass big and perky and round. I licked my lips. Her body moved again, rolling grinding into the sheets below as she moaned again and sighed.

I could feel the blood draining from my face and head down heavily to my tail.

The t-shirt she wore ridden up as her hands grabbed at her breast clutching for it as she rolled again. Her head fell back a little, her loose curls shaking down as she moved again against the bed.

Another moan fell out of her open beautiful mouth; her eyes were shut gently only squeezing together in pleasure.

My whole body hammered.

She was grinding and…

She was-

My tail had never curled so fast or so tight as I felt myself emerging. My eyes drew her in greedily as I convulsed in a wave of pleasure I didn't know I could feel from just watching.

I had seen porn. I had felt women, but this-

 _Woah._

My frozen limbs suddenly were extremely heavy as her moans drifted over me with an intensity I didn't even know could exist.

I didn't blink- I couldn't blink.

My heart leapt into my mouth as my tongue beat out my pulse.

She rolled again; her moan higher this time as she tilted her body towards me, flipping back around to display her gorgeous body my way.

I was totally hooked. Stuck there on full display, literally all of me out and on show as I watched her with a drunken dizziness I had never experienced.

She was warm and soft laying there. Her soft belly moved and stretched as she grinded her hips into the mattress below. Her breasts; her fucking wonderful breasts heaved, causing them to bounce a little wore underneath her low cut white see-through t-shirt.

I licked my top lip again and bit down hard.

How I had dreamed, _imagined, fantasied,_ **fuck** , **_everything._**

 _I wanted everything._

Suddenly, my own conscience kicked in, shocking me as I looked away down to the road below.

 _What the fuck was I doing?_

 _Watching her like that? She was dreaming; the whole thing was wrong! How would I even look at her again?_

With a deep breath my body began to unlock as I realised I was being a _real_ stalker this time.

A **_real_** creep.

And then she made a noise that I was not expecting to fall from her lips ever in my lifetime.

Her moans increased dramatically, her body still moving so sensually until they were whimpers and all too soon a word spilled out from her lips; loud, sure and scraping into a deep high pitched moan.

 _"RAPH!_ _ **Urgh!"**_

My name.

Mine.

Her breathes seemed to slow and level out as she took a deep breath heavily and rolled over lazily, exhausted.

She had touched _her self,_

 _grinded her self in pleasure_ …

Maybe in a lazy dream way but she had…

And said my name...

She had said-

 **BAM.**

Blackness reached me. My body fell back as my eyes rolled into my head and the air around me pushed me further to the ground below…

I woke with a jab to my shoulder.

" _What_ the _hell_ are you doing _out here_?!" It was Leo. And he was pissed.

All three of them stood around me as I lifted my head to look at them, feeling drunk and unsure. Weird considering, I hadn't had anything to drink…

"Huh?" I groaned looking at where I was.

Some how, by some miracle, I had landed in a dumpster just above Bonnie's window- my eyes flicked around my surroundings.

"What?" I asked feeling a sense of dizziness overcome me.

I stretched and hissed; feeling a sharp pain in my back.

"Raphael!" Leo barked at me.

 _"RAPH!_ _ **Urgh!"**_

 _my name…_

And then it hit me as hard as a baseball bat.

Fuck…

" ** _FUCK!"_** I scrambled out of the dumpster and fell back against the wall in shock; my heart hammered.

I had seen Bonnie…

Oh fuck-

 _Oh fuck…_

I didn't know how to deal with this.

But I knew I didn't need to hear Leo say my name like that anymore.

I paled.

My tail seemed to fly away from me at his voice shrivelling back away from any attraction left in my mind.

Leo's eyes changed from anger to confusion as he took me in.

"Raph…what's up?" he asked watching me as my head span.

"I…fell…" I mumbled rubbing my head. At least that was honest.

Leo looked to Donnie who moved closer to me; he eyed the back of my shell.

" _Damn_ Raph, you hit your shell- how did you fall? You're great with direction"

"felt dizzy..." I mumbled as my eyes looked down to the floor spacing out again.

"Maybe we should get you home" Leo said worried as he nodded to Don and Mike as they both eyed me nervously, but helped to steady me as I walked. I didn't talk to them, I physically couldn't.

I was way too busy thinking about _her…_

We reached the lair as Donnie started to patch my shell up where I had cracked it. I hissed at him as he hushed me.

I rubbed my head, and by doing this- I think my common sense kicked in.

Of course it wasn't gonna be _me_ she was thinking about.

Maybe it was some other guy; maybe she hadn't said my name. I mean, what other names could Raph be short for?

It could have been anyone…

 _Anyone_ else who shared my name…

Who she was thinking about as soon as _I_ left…

That was viable; completely viable.

It couldn't have been me…

 _It couldn't._

I swallowed and took a deep breath looking to the floor of Donnie's lab as he muttered under his breath.

"So ama dying or can I go now?" I grunted out to him sarcastically as he eyed me then Leo who stared hard straight back.

"Leo- can you get me two syringes from the first aid box? - I need new ones" He said as Leo nodded and headed off at a brisk pace.

Don tutted and then shut the door behind me.

I looked up with confused eyes at him.

Something was wrong- something was very wrong.

"Don what's- "

"Save it- I _know_ everything" he said crossing his arms leaning against the small desk.

My eyes opened wide as I slammed my jaw shut.

What?

"I dunno what you're- "

"Oh come _on_ Raph- I took a call from April like _three_ weeks ago- when you were _supposed_ to be _out_ with Casey- he had taken her out for dinner; April wondered if we could go check in on the west side… _Bonnie_ was home alone that night and they hadn't seen her in a couple of days"

I kept still, frozen unable to respond as he watched me like a dad would scold their little kid.

"I told Leo I'd go- didn't want to drop you in it straight away. I reached her apartment just as you were going in…"

my heart thumped as a bead of sweat started to form on my neck.

"And now… _here we are today; three weeks later_ , you're passed out directly below her _bedroom_ window, so I ask Raph; _what's going on_?!"

I stood up shhing him desperately as my eyes flicked to the door.

" _Will you shut up! Leo will hear_!" I told him nervously as he rolled his eyes and lifted his hand towards it.

"Leo wont find any syringes in the first aid box. I haven't replenished it yet" he told me calmly as I sat back down begrudgingly.

"So- we have around 5 minutes until Leo gets back from looking, possibly 10 if he goes to check the other box which is at the other end of the sewer, so I ask _again_ \- what is going on Raph?"

I sighed.

Damn Donnie. I clicked my tongue and narrowed my eyes towards him.

I thought about denying it for a tenth of a second.

Then my gritted teeth began to move.

"I didn't jus' introduce ma sel... it was an accident! I rescued 'er one night- a few months ago…n, I jus' followed 'er home, but she kept leavin' 'er balcony door open, an' I jus' ment to shut it- to keep 'er safe…" the words rolled out like vomit, almost feeling good to have them out.

"But she seen me, an' well… Case was right she weren't too fussy; screamed once, but it was more like she was yellin' at me; she was more frightened of me being a stranger on her balcony than me bein' a _turtle_ …and- I mean I jus' kept _goin' back_ \- she let me…she laughs at my jokes…She drinks whisky n beer with me…she smiles at me…talks to me about stuff…" my eyes tore to the floor picturing her smile as I felt my shoulders drop.

My mind flashed through the past months I had spent with her. I sighed as I remembered her touching me again tonight my hand fell where her hand been on my shoulder- reliving it for like the 1000th time.

"She acts like I'm jus' _another_ guy…doesn't even care about my size or scales or shell…an I jus…I jus…"

I could feel the word bubbling to the surface as I shut my eyes and swallowed it back down.

Donnie knew; how often was I like this anyway?

He walked over slowly and sighed once; it wasn't a disappointed noise; just unsure- new.

"I wont tell Leo- but that doesn't mean this will stay hidden forever Raph- if you feel that _way_ about her- she has a right into our lives as we do into hers" he shrugged.

"Fuck sake Donnie! ain't nothin' gonna happen between us- she's human…an' _I_ wouldn' _ever-"_

Donnie sighed again; shorter this time, looking up at the ceiling before back at me.

"I'm just saying Raph…if there's a _chance_ " he shrugged looking at me with sad hoping eyes.

I nodded understanding what he was saying.

 _Don'_ _t_ _throw something like that away_ _.._ _._

At that moment footsteps echoed down the corridor briskly as I swallowed and sat up eyeing Donnie; he put a green finger to his lips and turned away nonchalantly.

"Donnie; I can't find them anywhere!"

"It's alright Leo- I got what I needed in the end" Donnie walked passed me and patted my shell twice hitting my injured back. I gritted my teeth.

Damn fainting spell.

* * *

 **Review guys!**

 **I really need some positive vibes right now!**

 **Owl x**


	7. Late night store chats, Danger lurks

Heres another one for you guys!

Hope you enjoy!

Pretty please can I get a review? :D if you do I will post the next chapter even quicker! ;)

* * *

The next day was filled with lectures and lessons that I all couldn't concentrate on due to my lack of sleep.

I had thought about him all night, in every possible way. It was worse in my dreams; there my visions of us together came to life- at least awake I could hide a small amount of them.

But now my eyes were weak and my features were tired and sloppy.

I scribbled down some small notes in class yawning as I went. I sighed.

If only Raph were coming tonight, to make today better.

I scowled feeling my bad mood kicking in, knowing I was being a stubborn little girl at the idea of not seeing him for a few days.

I huffed, pursed my lips and crossed my eyebrows tightly.

I felt like I was five and my favourite toy had been pulled off me.

I huffed again.

I needed to grow up.

My fingers drummed on the small of the desk as the minutes went by drastically slow, painfully slow and I tried to fight away the burning images of Raphael's smile.

I looked around the lecture hall, I looked at all the different guys sat around me- all full haired normal skinned guys.

And felt nothing. Not even a twitch of attraction.

Maybe because most of them wouldn't even give me the time of day.

Maybe because I hadn't really paid attention to any of them anyway.

 _Or maybe its because you're falling in love with that turtle guy who keeps hanging out with you…_

I growled and ran a hand down my face.

The only friend I had made since moving here- and I was starting to want more.

But I couldn't… _I shouldn't…_

The day rushed on as I flew out of college and headed down to April's shop. We had organised stock to come in for this evening and were getting ready to load the back room up.

"Hey April!" I called cheerily as she smiled to me and flung her dark hair over the back of her shoulder.

"Hey! How was college today?"

"oh soooo boring; I nearly fell asleep in fifth period" I told her as she giggled and lifted a brown box out of the door way. I took it from her and carried it into the back room as we chatted lightly about the events of the day. Soon the pink evening sky turned to black and street lights flickered and glowed evenly outside.

The little shop illuminated gently as we sat on boxes and counter tops drinking hot cocoa.

"So…you met anyone at college yet?" she asked politely as I looked to her with a soft smile.

"Like friends? Sorta- I have a girl I sit with in class…we chat" I shrugged as she nodded positively.

"Any cute guys?" she asked with a knowing sort of smirk. I blushed and rolled my eyes at her.

"Oh come on April!" I chuckled as she laughed back and nudged me with her shoulder.

"Spill! Who's the guy?" her eyes glowed with excitement as I stared at her in shock.

"Who says there's even a guy?" I taunted sticking my tongue out. she laughed and pointed to me accusingly.

"The blush on your face is all I need to concur my dear Watson; there is a guy" I huffed and she laughed, enjoying her winning moment.

I felt myself bite the inside of my cheek as I mulled over what to say to her, my foot underneath the chair started to thrum a little. Maybe there was a way I could explain to April my issue…maybe I could dodge the question but still answer it, talk to her in a girly chat that my brain so desperately needed right now.

I sighed, lifted my feet up and turned so that I could face her a little better.

"Okay…there's this one…guy" I started, my face keeping steady and even as I watched her expression for any sign of clue that she was cracking onto my case.

"Ohhh what's his name?!" she hurried excitedly as I clamped my teeth down.

 _A name beginning with R!, any name beginning with R!_

"Ronald"

 _fuck…Ronald!? Of all the fucking normal names to pick…_

I gritted my teeth down as she nodded to me with a laugh.

"Ronald? - wow; haven't heard of a one of them in a long time" I took a big swing of my cocoa letting it burn my tongue as punishment.

 _Fucking Ronald?!,_ I brushed it away quickly as I swallowed and April waited for me to continue my story.

"We met…a few months ago…he sorta helped me with directions home" I told her, again stopping to see if she was linking the two of us together.

"Oooo a college guy?"

"same age yeah" I mumbled, keeping my lies to a minimum; it was a twisted truth but held my story up…

I felt ridiculously silly; there was no way she could link the two together with that information. Suddenly I felt the surge to bundle out more to her.

"He got me home- and then the next night, literally showed up at my door and it was just so…playful, I thought he would be a really good friend and that that's where we would grow to. And we were, you know, we are; he comes over for a beer, we chat, watch TV, nothing serious…it's comfortable, nice"

My head rolled back at the memories as I blushed harder, my cheeks heating up at the image of us laughing together, sitting close by each other…just revelling in each others company…

"But…its more than nice now…its- well its now my favourite time of day and the worst part of the day is when he leaves…and the other night we had this moment" I looked away from her out to the doorway, my eyes scanning the dark streets as if wanting him to appear.

"And it hit me- how _crazy_ I am for him…"

I trailed off as April watched me. She grinned at me her face illuminated.

"Sounds like love to me" she giggled as I bypassed her comment sharply. I was about to open my mouth when she carried on.

"What's he like?" she pushed biting her lip with interest as I giggled.

"He's…a hot head…but…he wears his heart on his sleeve, he cares so much about things and he looks at me like…well no one's ever looked at me like that" I shrugged as my eyes moved from her down to the floor picturing him again as they glowed softly.

"He has, the loveliest eyes…and makes me laugh…makes me feel safe…" I mumbled out incoherently as April watched me- her eyes studied my face with a small smile.

I looked back up to her nervously.

O _h shit- had she guessed?_

"What's he look like?" she pushed leaning back into her chair. April tilted her head, her face smiling softly matching the voice she spoke to me with.

Then I bit down hard on the inside of my lip.

 _How the fuck could I dodge that?_

"Tall…really tall…a-and real buff…" I nodded with a small laugh. My cheeks turned up into a grin at my next passing thought. "…Red hair- amber eyes" I added with a chuckle.

"ooooh sounds dreamy"

"You have no idea" I whispered taking a sip of the hot cocoa.

"So what's stopping you asking Mr dreamboat out?" she said drinking her own drink. My eyes fell on her heavily and wide.

"a-are you kidding?" I bluffed out a light laugh as she turned back to look at me confused.

"Well- its obvious you're in love with him- and if he keeps coming back then..."

"Woah woah- April, I can't _be_ in love with him; _its insane!_ It wouldn't work! I'm most definitely not his…type, I'd loose my only friend in this entire city, and…and…" I froze my mouth falling short of words.

I looked down to the floor deflated and walked over to the glass window; my own reflection evidently clear there.

"Bonnie?" April asked softly.

"What if he doesn't love me back?" I whispered feeling my insides twirl and turn at the idea.

Sure, the idea that he wouldn't be attracted to humans passed my mind, but in my head I didn't really care. It didn't really matter what he was or what I was.

It only mattered that now, and the idea that he could possibly break my heart was soul crushing.

And then I wouldn't have anything.

 _What if he already had someone?_

My fingers reached out to my reflection as I eyed myself.

I wasn't anything special. I was probably a little worse than someone who would be considered 'not anything special'.

I sighed, disappointingly.

"Bonnie- you do know how gorgeous you are right?" April added as I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"You have to say that; you're family" I reminded her as she shook her head.

"Don't matter- you are, besides…how do you know you're not his type?"

I chewed my lip.

How do I get out of this one?

"He's just…not into…that- at least I don't think he would be"

She looked confused about my comment but I rolled it off; I needed to vent- even if it was about a ginger tall guy called Ronald.

"Is he gay?" April added as I turned to look at her exasperatingly. Then my mouth slammed shut.

Huh.

I hadn't considered that.

"I don't…think so- he doesn't strike me as being gay" I told her honestly. Maybe he was, maybe I needed to think about that…

"How can you not know his preference?" April asked exasperatedly.

"Well he doesn't exactly go about shouting which sex he prefers from the roof tops" I told her.

I sighed.

 _No, Raphael wasn't gay was he? Or did he not have a preference? He was part turtle after all- did they even have preferences?_

The confusion buzzed in my head as I rubbed my forehead and shook it away.

"Well if you guys had a moment- he can't be can he? And if you had a moment then it means there's something there!"

I turned to look at her. She was right.

There was something there.

But it was probably best to take it away from there. I couldn't handle the stress of an abusive father, moving away, going to a new college and have my heart broken all in the space of a year.

I could visualise him letting me down gently.

His hands waving me off speaking to me in the gruff softness of his tone.

My anxiety sprang forward. I couldn't deal with that.

"I don't…I can't get my heart broken right now- with everything that's happened this year…I could do without any more hurting- so my love life is casual for now…I'm good with that- that way I don't loose him" I told her honestly.

The idea of loosing him crippling as I pictured his face once more in my head- his smile playful and goofy.

Slowly becoming the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.

"Well if its casual dating you want; I could set you up on a few blind dates, that way you could feel out what the guys are like in New York" she giggled as I rolled my eyes.

To please her I nodded and blushed, shaking my head. "Yeah you do that" I giggled sarcastically.

We were laughing loosely, then all too soon a click of the door had my attention as both April and I spun to look around.

Three guys stood tall and flawless in the doorway, all dressed in black.

I took a slight step back anxiously.

April stood-her eyes on them as she watched them carefully.

Soon she was stood beside me, her face stern and fixated in an alarmed manor. I noticed her hand slowly move to the back of her jeans, where she flicked something which looked like a beeper and a red light flashed.

I looked back to the men concerned.

"Can I help you?" She asked in a strong voice. She stayed still complied and stoic as they moved further in.

"Take them" a calm voice called from a small walkie-talkie attached to one of the guy's arms. A word was shouted into the air, a word I didn't understand as suddenly boxes were flown backwards shooting at us as I ducked with April. I grabbed her and turned as the men barrelled towards us.

We flew backwards out the little door where the storage unit was.

"April! _What the fuck is going on?_!" I demanded as we fled. She didn't answer me, but kept running dragging me with her as we barrelled over the stock we had just arranged.

It flew everywhere as I pulled it down behind me; adrenaline seeming to kick in viciously. As I pulled things fell, violently blocking the way and the men following on our tails. Then my eyes caught a bright beige long smooth wooden item.

A bat.

I gasped my mouth twitching into a smile as I wrapped my hand around it as April pulled me with her.

"Come on Bonnie!" she whined nervously as we took off again. The black men clambered over the stuff as we turned and pulled on the back door. With it ripped off its hinges, we flew out of his barrelling down the street into an alleyway, and then turning left we ran down another and another until unluckily we reached a dead end.

We breathed heavily almost out of breath as the three men approached.

I gripped my bat tightly as April stood tall.

"Who the fuck are these guys?" I whispered to her my eyes raking at them feeling cornered as they circled us.

"They want my friends" she breathed deeply as she angled up our options.

 _Friends…_

 _Did she mean Raph?_

"Over my dead body" I growled as I moved forward. I bunched the balls of my feet deep into the ground as the ran at us. I swung around expertly, hitting the other on the back twisting the bat in my hand as I jabbed and kicked. April managed to kick one in the groan as it doubled over.

I grabbed her hand as we ran quickly away from them. We laughed into the air triumphantly as we turned left.

Only to skid to a stop.

And nothing could have prepared me for the next sighting.

Two giant mutants; a warthog and a rhino- probably two feet taller than Raph, who clearly didn't work out as much as Raphael, stood firmly, intimidatingly.

My mind doubled over as I took them in. April watched me nervously her eyes alarmed and her teeth gritted as I took a deep breath and leaned down letting my feelings swing around my head.

It was mainly disbelief.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me!" I breathed out leaning forward for a moment as I shook my head.

Both animals growled and grinned.

"Awww yeeeeaaaah, you gotta new addition to the little pack"

"Come on beep, they gotta lead us back to dem damn turtles"

My mouth fell open and my eyes scrunched up watching the mutants.

"Left!" April shrieked, pushing me with her shoulder as she turned and spun me down the alley to the left. We ran heavily, almost quicker than I could ever possibly go running on fumes as we barrelled to another dead end.

"FUCK! What is it with this city and fucking dead ends?!" I whined out, my hand slamming at the brick as we moved back slowly.

This time, there was no interfering, as shapes suddenly blurred and bandana's flew down in front of my eyesight. My back fell against the wall as suddenly I was backed up with four shells and a 6ft man wearing a white hockey mask.

They moved fast, battling down on the two new mutants as bodies blurred and I could no longer keep up with what was going on. My hands fell on the brick as shapes blurred.

A purple banded turtle flew round twisting expertly over the rhino which grunted as an orange banded turtle excitedly manoeuvred in front of it, causing its actions to be put off.

It was only then when the Hockey masked vigilante turned and called to April.

"Get back!" he yelled. His voice the exact same as my…

 ** _"CASEY?!"_** I barrelled moving forward as April pushed her hand on me keeping me still.

A blue banded turtle moved so swiftly, using its swords to bash and scrape down the side of the warthog, it moved so fast, quicker than the others as it barrel rolled and knocked the rhino down to the ground.

Then I saw him.

Red bandana; twirling forks. I gasped out loud, my eyes fixed on him as he moved fast- punching right at the warthog his comrade was knocking over. My eyes held tight on him as he moved, biting down his name from leaving my lips as they flew over the head of the remaining animal.

I gripped the bat tighter in my arms as I instinctively stepped down hard on the foot holding me, throwing my elbow back into their face and twirling the bat in my hand around as I jabbed it outwards. I grunted and turned to April

"Duck" I told her as my bat made contact with the black masked figure holding her. It retracted immediately and fell to the ground as I kicked them, rolling them away.

I turned sharply, and found myself staring at Raph, who was watching me totally unsure of what to do next.

That's when the downed Rhino, pulled his legs out from under him and I found his name slipping from my mouth.

 ** _"Raphael!"_** I called desperately, as April turned to look at me wide eyed in absolute shock. Her mouth fell open as she stared hard. But she didn't have time to say anything- as one of the creatures noticed and grinned towards us for a minute. Then it grunted and swung out left, throwing something towards my head as I ducked, pulling April with me.

It stuck to the wall as it started to flicker red.

I froze.

So did April.

 _"MOVE!"_ Casey bellowed.

But my eyes tried to catch Raphael again. Instinctively, my eyes reached for him but found him already there as he grabbed me in less than a second. My body whipped around in his arms at a lightening pace. I let him pull me, feeling dizzy and blurred as he tucked me to the floor under his shell.

I couldn't see anything else going on around me. Just feel the warmth of him as he held me tight.

Then it went off, the explosion was small but distractible and both enemy mutants seemed to flair off during the commotion as rocks and loose metal flew in all directions. I could hear some of it landing and scraping against the back of his shell.

I lay still, gripping onto my turtle tightly, not sure if what I was feeling was terror, or adrenaline or worry or excitement.

The crumbling of rock seemed to steady, and in the distance there was a drunken laugh.

" _Next time turtles!_ " it sung in the distance.

My heart drowned it out as the voices seemed to distance away.

I swallowed as Raph began shuffling above me, moving his shoulders first to check himself; shaking like a bear would against a tree, but much slower. Then he stilled and his head, which I hadn't noticed was tucked above mine protecting me, pulled back as his breathing steadied out.

His face pulled back to look at mine; my body lay flat underneath him as he watched me with a worried startled expression.

His hands nervously checked at my shoulders, my waist, my arms. I wiggled once like he had done, feeling for pain- but there was nothing.

"Its okay…I'm…I'm okay" I breathed to him in a whisper as he nodded. He swallowed once unable to remove his startling expression. My hands began repeating his own action as terror filled my eyes.

What if he was hurt?

"Oh god" I stood quickly, feeling him pull me to my feet as his hands steadied on my waist.

"Are you hurt? Did they hurt you?"

"nah…no Doll- I'm fine…I'm good" he breathed in this new breathy voice.

My hands carried on searching him anyway, until I found my hands on his neck as I felt his breath intake in and out as he moved.

Then the panic seemed to still inside me as I steadied myself.

His eyes bored into mine and mine bored right back.

I swallowed.

A silent message passed between us as my stomach flipped inside.

I'm so glad you're safe…

"So…ya can handle ya sel den…" he added with a low voice as I allowed a tired laugh to slip out once.

"Told you I didn't need your services" I said lowly with a smile. He smiled back too, only it didn't reach his eyes- they stayed soft and safe, taking me in.

And then there was a shuffle, bringing me away from my red banded turtle as my head flicked left to over the way from us.

And there, watching us, brushing themselves down carefully.

Stood Casey, April, and three more turtles…

His brothers…

I didn't have to look at Raph to understand our joint words this time.

Shit.


	8. The Argument, The Lair

**Okay guys here we go! Because Id had soooo many positive reviews I've decided to update ASAP; ILOVEYOUGUYS!**

 **Its such a nice pick me up from my anxiety when there support! you guys are AWESOME!**

 **OKAY HERE WE GO!**

* * *

Raph's POV.

I eyed Leo.

He was my first go to.

I already had my teeth ready bared and my arm around one of her waists.

But my eyes froze, waiting for his reaction as he looked to us deeply, exchanging looks between myself and Bonnie. An unreadable face.

I wanted to growl but refrained.

Then Casey exploded.

"Wait…wait- you ** _KNOW_** each other?"

I looked to Bonnie who immediately retracted her hands from my neck and turned to Casey.

"Sorta…" she shrugged looking nervous.

A silence travelled over us for a minute as she froze beneath me. She eyed my brothers strategically, and I could tell she was trying to work out faces to names.

"How long?" April spoke distracting my attention as Bonnie blushed…

"bout 3 months now; give or take…"

"3 Months?" Casey moved forward, eyeing up his cousin. "3 _FUCKING_ Months?" He came close to us now, only a few feet away from her as she took him in carefully.

"SO _every time_ I talked about _Raph_ you knew?" She looked up to him; an angry expression.

" _So?_ Who cares?! Were friends- no big deal"

"Oh…how did you _become_ friends then huh? Did he just wander into your life _at college?! Met at a coffee shop?!"_

" _Casey!"_ April scolded as he began his temper tantrum. I rolled my eyes.

"I brought you here to have a safe life, not to be tangled in _danger_! You got away from that Bon!" He calmed down a touch, eyeing her up as her eyes looked to the floor. She gritted her teeth almost reliving a memory but quickly recovered with a shake of her head.

"AND jus' fuckin' look at him! He screams danger! Did you not learn anything about _dangerous men from your_ _ **last**_ _encounter_?!"

For the first time in a long time, his comment hit home, he eyed me up angrily as I could only look across- he was right. I was way too dangerous to be involved in her life. Inside a sadness started, but I buried it down. Somewhere in my mind a voice started to call to me.

 _She aint gonna want ya…_

Bonnie seethed. She moved with her hand tighter on the bat. Her eyes hot with anger.

"How _fucking_ dare you!" she breathed through her teeth.

"Casey stop!" April called, trying to get her hand on him but he moved towards Bonnie- his eyes wild as she continued her rant.

"Don't you start bringing that shit into this- He is nothing like my father!" she bellowed angrily as her bat jabbed his shoulder again tightly. "If it wasn't for Raphael I would have been in _danger no matter what!_ He _saved_ me from getting raped Case! How can you be _so angry_ about that?!" Bonnie spoke clearly, standing up for me.

Then Casey exploded.

"YOU DON'T THINK THAT'S SOMETHING WE GOTTA KNOW? NOT EVEN DROP IT INTO CONVERSATION?!"

Then she moved forward, a growl on her tongue- it was so fucking cute as she jabbed at his shoulder with the bat.

"OH and what about you?! MR- IM JUST-OFF-CHASING-BAD-GUYS-ALL-NIGHT; THAT'S NOT CHASING CASEY. ITS FIGHTING!" She bellowed out to him.

"THAT'S DIFFERENT!"

"HOW?"

And then they were bickering over each other. I watched her stand up for her self-stand up for me as she told him how I had saved her, protected her. They argued for a few minutes, her curls flying everywhere as she pointed aggressively at me and him. April stood wide eyed as both Jones family members gave as good as each other. They seemed to merge into words as their argument blurred over the top of each other.

April moved forward stepping between them.

"That's enough!"

Silence fell over us; and that's when Leo moved. I stood tall instinctively, anger seeming to burn into my back.

Then Leo met my eyes. His arms crossed watching me darkly, he then sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Were going home; _now_ "

Bonnie turned to look at him. Her bright eyes studied him carefully as he looked her up and down.

I could see the slight blush on her cheeks. I gritted my teeth as she visibly swallowed.

I was gonna fucking tear him apart for frightening her.

Casey growled and pulled away from the crowd for a moment as April went after him with a sharp sigh. My eyes watched him go, letting his earlier comments slide- he was angry; I understood that- anger does things to you, makes you say things you didn't mean.

"We'll catch up" She spoke quickly to the Leo who nodded in her direction understandably. Before she scuttled down the side street after Casey.

I looked down to Bonnie who looked back at me unsure and confused, her eyes still a little crossed with anger that had been left over from her argument.

"Bring her" Leo said; a little softer this time- but by no means less commanding. I growled to him with a snarl on my expression.

He didn't say anything- just turned and fled off. Mikey, who had watched us with wide set eyes moved playfully towards her. Donnie grabbed his face and pulled him away with him as they barrelled forwards.

"What's going on?" she asked me softly as I sighed heavily. I thought back onto Donnie's words…

 _"She has a right into our lives as we do into hers" he shrugged…_

I shook my self down. Her beautiful face was still there, poised and waiting as her eyes spun a thousand different shades of blue.

"trust me a'right?" I breathed to her. She could only nod- slightly with a parted mouth as my arms scooped her up effortlessly. Her legs over my right arm- her back resting against my left. Her arms found my neck as she watched me wide eyed.

She swallowed and waited expectantly. Then I took off, quickly- her grip tightened and her head buried into the crook of my neck.

I jumped down the man hole cover trying my best to ignore the feel of her head on my neck; her body touching mine…

With two more slides down the sewer line we were falling quicker-faster; heading straight for the slide down into the lair. I held her as tight as I could without hurting her- my mind not on anything but Leo and the conversation we were about to have.

I pressed her to me again as she clawed her fingernails into my neck naturally.

 _I wasn't giving her up for anything…_

As soon as we headed down the water slide- I threw her- trying my best not to get her wet as she landed on the soft mats in front with an oomph.

I stood up and shook down, instantly drying my shell with my shakes as I ran back over to her nervously. Bonnie leaned up as I took her hands to help her stand quickly, fussing over her in a way a mother would do a new baby.

I cursed inwardly. I needed to play it cool, I needed to chill out.

She eyed me as I eyed her.

She was in my home, she was here.

"Raph?" she asked me- I could only look at her- her curls a little messy, her eyes wide and sparkling beautifully as she looked around her surroundings.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what was coming.

She was looking passed my body now- round the side of it towards our communal area.

Where my brothers waited.

Fuck.

Bonnie's POV

I stood nervously, my entire body wanting to bolt from the room; I didn't feel welcome, or like I belonged and the feel of it made me want to cry.

Their eyes looked at us unreadable, all expect the little orange one-who stood head to head with me on height.

I say little- only in comparison to his brothers who, like Raph, were huge. The blue one, who I thought would be Leo, from earlier commanding comments, looked like Raph the most in stature, only he was smaller by a few inches- looking stealthier even as stoic as he stood. Purple was tall; _really tall_ and slender, but trailing muscle mass just like his brothers.

Orange grinned towards me happily and skipped forward to me as he eyed me up.

"I gotta say, You're a lot prettier than your cousin!" he told me cheerfully in a short joke. as I blew a breath out and smiled to him once, a small smile that didn't meet my eyes, but that thanked him for breaking the ice.

"Dis is Mikey" Raph leant down to tell me quietly as I nodded deeply taking it in.

"Okay…okay…hi" I breathed a little shake in my voice as I forced out a greeting to them, desperate for this horrible aura leave the air.

I smiled to him and moved forward to shake his hand.

'Mikey' looked at it in complete shock- his eyes raised up to the sewer roof and slowly he looked to Raph, who nodded once and then took my hand enthusiastically. He grinned hugely.

"Damn _gurl-_ most people wanna run, not touch" he winked and I felt my shoulders loosen a little more.

"Why? Nothin' wrong with you" I smiled to him gently.

"Aint you a keeper! Well done Raph…" Mikey said in a sultry voice with a wink. I blushed and swallowed.

I looked to his face- a younger face that was more playful than the others with a cheekier grin. I eyed the others up finding features of Raph in all of them, and all of them in Raphael.

"Damn you look like your brothers..." I breathed out in a little whisper to Raph as he came to stand a foot closer to listen to my voice. I could feel a hand on my back, supporting me almost expecting me to fall.

I let go of Mikey's hand and looked to them, crossing my arms almost in self care.

"That would make you…Donatello?" I asked nodding towards the purple turtle who nodded and shuffled loosely with a small smile.

My eyes crossed to blue.

"And Leonardo…" I breathed out as he watched me, an unreadable expression as he nodded once- showing recognition of my voice.

I swallowed. He did _not_ look happy about his.

I pushed my curls back behind my ear as I felt my fingers itch to reach for Raph- almost protectively; trying to keep him to me as if to warn his brothers away.

I felt silly at the whole idea.

"My apologies miss, for all of this" Leonardo said formally, strongly and I truly believe he meant what he said.

"My brother shouldn't have dragged you into our lives"

Raph growled a little, his face showing the scowl I had seen countless of times.

I swallowed again, my hand now flying to Raph's arm in a way I wanted to before. His face fell a little from the scowl, his shoulders dropped ever so slightly.

"It's not his fault- he saved me _…I owe him everything"_ I told blue with a sincere face. Leo seemed to in take a deep breath as he looked to Raphael. Raph stood tall, a click on his tongue as he remained composed and tall.

"Besides; you are _all_ friends with my _only_ family…I imagine it would have happened eventually" I said with a knowing tone. Leo looked down and nodded twice, considering my sentence. It made me feel a little important as my hand rested on Raph's arm protectively. He moved beneath me, his breathing moving the blood in his arm causing it to raise and fall under my tips.

The feel of his skin just as wonderful as I remembered.

"Still; we rescue and try to stay _clear"_ His eyes now on Raph as he looked to him the way a teacher would a student.

"We don't want to impose on your life- "

"He doesn't impose" I interrupted again, my words flying out before I could stop them. I knew I should have let him finish. I knew it may have been rude, but I couldn't bear him getting angry at Raph- Casey had already done enough; rudely pointed out that he couldn't have met me in college, and I imagined more comments like that coming when they arrived too.

"He's my friend…my only… friend…" I said trying my best not to blush, ignoring the pathetic comment made. I shook away my self pity and smiled to him politely. I crossed my arms.

"Although you _could_ count drinking all my beer as being an imposition" I laughed with a smirk as I looked to Raph out the corner of my eye.

He looked down to me and rolled his eyes. A genuine smile seems to lift the corners of my mouth and his, as he tried to supress it with a look down to the floor as shake of his head.

Then there was a new sound- a door clicking and foot prints coming towards us.

Casey and April came into view as I moved forward, standing in front of Raph like I could protect him.

Well…I could from my cousin at least.

My eyes held onto Casey in the same way Raph's did with Leo's.

He had no right to be angry with me.

Casey moved forward and sighed. We stayed like that for a minute. Eyes tight watching each other.

Then April cleared her throat. Casey retracted like he had been scolded and looked to her with a cross expression, but turned to look at me.

"alright...alright…mmm sorry for… _freakin'_ out…" he mumbled.

"You better be" I told him strongly as he eyed me up with shocked eyes. "You had no right to speak to me like that" I told him with a stern expression. "or him" I added flicking my eyes back to Raph for a millisecond.

" _Well what do you expect when_ -"

"Casey" April Scolded in a low voice.

He shut down silently as I shared a look with her, she nodded once to me with a hidden smile. I tried my best to hide my own smile.

She was on my side; that was good.

"I may have… _slightly_ over-reacted a _little_ " he said with a sigh. "jus' that…I wanted to try keep you as safe as possible…after everything" he looked down minutely as I registered his words. I kept quiet, pushing down the memory of my violent incident with a look down to the floor.

Raph's hand was on my back again, comforting as minutely as possible. Casey noticed; his eyes now stern and locked on Raph.

"…and it isn't great havin' your best friend _lie_ to you for over _3 months_ " Casey picked up a sharp tone as he turned to Raph. Raph moved a little, he huffed and angrily rolled his eyes.

"I didn't lie to ya- ya never asked bout it- what was a supposed ta say- 'by da way av been hangin' wid ya cousin on a night?'" Raph said as my stomach enveloped in butterflies.

"You _lied_ to us; your brothers" Leo added smoothly with a look down to the floor, his eyes wider and pointed as Raph spun.

He growled and moved towards Leo with his chest pushed out.

"Only coz you'da made it a big deal"

Leo looked to his brother strongly, his expression held together as his other brothers knew to keep back.

It made me wonder how often they fought.

"am I making a big deal of it now _Raph?_ Its not the friendship that's the Issue -Anything could have happened to you and we wouldn't have known- _something did happen!_ You were passed out in the dumpster beside the building last night! After _falling_! it was lucky- "

Wait. What did Leonardo just say?

"YOU FELL?!" I turned twirling at him with wide upset eyes. "HOW THE FUCK DID _YOU_ FALL!" terror etched onto my face as my emotions danced in shock. I swallowed as his nervous eyes met mine, a dancing blush crossed him- like a child who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"You were on the balcony!" I added with a swallow of the lump in my throat. "How could you fall into the dumpster?"

logically it didn't add up; the dumpster was directly below my…

Then memories came spinning back to me.

 ** _"Raph! Urgh!"_** _I felt my insides tighten as my body splashed with pleasure, growing and growing until-_

 _Then there was a crash somewhere that made me sit bolt up in my bed._

 _My eyes flickered round the room as I panicked; my heart going a thousand miles an hour. Breaths tumbled out of me as I jumped out of my bed and stared out of my window._

 _It had sounded so close and near._

 _Then a distant noise made me aware of the dumpster below my window as something pounded on it once and a cat squealed out a loud hiss…_

Wait.

Was he outside my bedroom window?

My face dropped as I slammed my mouth shut.

I looked to him with wide eyes; his expression filling in the gaps. Blush spreading on his giant cheeks as he copied my expression.

Surely I wouldn't have done something in my sleep…surely I didn't do anything while I had that dream…

No matter how turned on _or_ wet I was when I woke up.

Did I embarrass my self in front of him… _like that?_

Or better still…

 _Did he watch me in my sleep?!_

"Jus…missed my footin' dats all" he told me. His voice told everyone here he was lying. But I couldn't press on it now- not with all these eyes watching.

I nodded once clearly, shutting the conversation down.

Oh shit- had he heard something?

Or worse…

"Excuse us, I need to speak to my brother privately" Leo added all the while watching Raph. Raph glowed to me for a second, his thumb caressed my back once, and then he turned and followed Leo away, Donnie went to, Mikey winked to me and clicked excitedly before barrelling away.

I sighed and turned back to Casey.

"What was that about?" Casey asked prying into my questions. I shook my head instantly shutting him down.

"Nothing" I said quietly. "Listen…I maybe should have told you I knew Raphael…but I-"

"Its alright…I am really sorry about the stuff I said- I kinda forget you can have your own life; you're a Jones…we get into messed up stuff" he huffed with humour as I grinned to him softly.

"I forgive you" I breathed to him. " I know…with everything that's gone on lately you feel…but you don't need to take responsibility for me"

"No _Raphael's_ been doin' that just fine" He snorted with a roll of his eyes; it was clear he was still annoyed at him.

"Don't be mad at him- he's been a good friend…makes New York bearable" I added with a small giggle.

Both April and Casey seemed to relax and it was only then I realised where I was and who I had just met.

I took a deep breath and spun round to look at my surroundings.

"Fuck…" I whispered breathlessly.

" _Oh fuck…_ " I breathed my hands finding my face as April moved over to me, humour warming her features.

"Let's get you sat down- I'll explain a few things, see what you already know…" she said as they both pulled me to the dining area and the story of how they came to be began…

* * *

 **Sooo- Lets hear what you think so far; I am quite far into this story so Im about...maybe 2 chapters ahead- But I still wanna know where you think this is going? What will happen?! What do you think Leo will do... DUN DUN DUUUNNNNN**

 **Thanks to everyone still reading and reviewing; I love you guys 3**

 **Owl x**


	9. The Brothers, His father

**I'm Back with Another!**

 **Thanks to all of you who are reviewing! It really means alot- the feedback is Awesome. I suffer from severe anxiety and depression and those little comments are amazing when i read them!**

 **Any hooo! On with the next chapter!**

 **Thanks Again**

 **(I still dont own anything TMNT :( )**

* * *

Raphael's POV

I followed my brothers with a quiet sense of unknowing. We headed into Donnie's lab as the door shut and all three turned to look at me.

We stayed quiet while I waited for Leo to begin yelling. He turned and huffed heavily and then turned again and looked to my face.

"Of all the irresponsible things for you to do..." he grumbled as I gritted my teeth, doing my best to ignore his words.

"you owe me ten bucks…" Mikey muttered to Donnie.

I looked to them in total shock.

"You…you been bettin' _on me?_!" I raged as Donnie and Mikey looked to me pointedly. They smiled a little and shrugged twice.

"Raphael- you gotta think about this carefully…" Leo's voice pulled the conversation back around as he looked to me with strict eyes.

"Oh fuck off Leo- Ya didn't freak wid April n Casey, n dats jus' da same- not'in else!" I waved him off, disgust on my tongue.

 _"Its not though is it!"_ he growled low as I froze.

Had I been that obvious?

I thought back to my actions- the way I touched her, carried her- looked at her…

I couldn't help it. It was how we were around each other.

I needed to be calm with her when they were being so hostile.

But now they were watching me, and they knew. I swallowed and clicked my tongue against the back of my teeth.

"Tell me its not, tell me you're not interested- _lie_ to me again, go on- _I dare you_ " he added as I growled to my self and looked away.

I huffed and turned away from them walking away needing the space- my hot head was filling with anger, and it wasn't a time for one of my overreactions, I needed to play this with ease.

I wanted her to stay in my life, and to keep that I needed to chill the fuck out- as much as it hurt.

"What do ya want me ta say Leo- that I shoulda jus' let 'er get raped? That I shoulda jus' let tha whole thin' happen?" I watched him as he sighed, his shoulders dropped and the annoyance on his face evaporated.

" _I know_ that wasn't an _option_!" he added as I grunted again and pushed him with my shoulder, squaring up to him.

" _Then what_?! Jus' turn my tail now and leave 'er, jus' pull 'er out and tell 'er to beat it?"

" _Would_ you? _Can_ you?"

The room fell silent as I took in his words. He could see right through me. I closed my mouth and tilted my head sharply as his words. My teeth gritted tightly.

"See?" he added with a point to me. His facial expression softened a little as he sighed again and looked to me. I remained hard and poised, the idea of giving her up clawed at my heart.

"and I wouldn't _ask that_ , you know I wouldn't" he turned away from me. A breath of relief fell out of my mouth as my shoulders dropped from my stoic position. I breathed deeply. There was still tension there; but neither of us knew what to really do with it.

We all fell silent for a minute or so, letting the words settle into the air. Mikey was the first to become restless.

"Sooo we done now?- I _really_ wanna go n chat to our _new hot chick!"_ Mikey jumped up n down excitedly, his eyes looking through the door to where she was sitting as April and Casey fussed a little over her and she squirmed from it.

"She took to us pretty well" Donnie commented, now following my eye sight.

"What happened to her?" Leo asked in a low voice, gaining my attention again. "Casey mentioned something about dangerous men?"

I looked to him as the others turned to my face too. I sighed; if it would help them warm to her- I would do anything. I watched her from across the way; anger spilling and filling me deeply as I choked on a growl.

"She ain't _just_ moved 'ere for college" I sighed looking down. "'er dad was a drunk…" I swallowed feeling guilty for spilling her private messages to me.

But I trusted my brothers; I trusted them with this just as I trusted them with her. I locked eyes with Leo- needing his acceptance and approval of her; It was the first time I've ever needed anything like this _ever_.

And I couldn't understand why.

"Few months back…she tried to stop 'im gettin' in a car drunk- he broke her nose and her ribs..."

I muttered it out like a bad taste in her mouth.

"Mother?" Leo added with a sad look across his face as he looked to Bonnie, she sat talking to Casey, now laughing as they sat together tight-knitted.

"Dead; died when she was little"

"Poor girl" Donnie added.

"don' talk bout it round 'er…she only told me da other night…an' I only told 'er I had _brothers_ two days ago so…go easy" I added with another deep breath as I watched her, her eyes were looking past April and Casey, reaching around looking for something…

 _Looking for me_ I thought selfishly.

"Mike- go order us some Pizza, Donnie check the perimeters safe, lock up for the night. Raph-"

He didn't need to say anything else. He slapped my shell once, affectionately before heading out of the door towards Casey and April.

I stood for another minutes, just reeling back from the conversation we had shared with each other, swallowing down the lumps I felt in my throat as I watch Leo head over and smile…then he stuck his hand out to Bonnie and she shook it with a smile on her face…

I smirked to myself and felt my feet moving.

They weren't the worst of brothers.

Bonnie's POV

I sat and pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling the small scar there from the breakage, as I sighed and took in this new information. April smiled and rubbed my back as I shook my head.

"And the warthog and the rhino…they're not related are they? Maybe cousins or something?"

Casey laughed.

"Deffo not- they were ex-cons; got mutated a while back."

"Okay… yeah makes perfect sense" I mumbled sarcastically.

"You'll get used to it" He shrugged. Then a door opened from over the way and I looked up, Donatello went left, Michelangelo right- and Leonardo, made a beeline to me, he walked slowly. Like he was trying to work out what to say…

I swallowed, biting my lip; wondering if I was about to be thrown out or accepted. My heart lept.

Then he reached across and stuck his hand out, in the same way I had done to Mikey.

"Sorry for the rudeness…Bonnie isn't it?" he said with a small smile. I froze for a second and then forced myself out of my pit as I thrust my hand into his and smiled nodding my head.

"That's right- and you're Leonardo" I nodded.

"Leo- please" he added as we parted hands and he turned to the fridge.

"Mikey's on pizza and Donnie's locking up for the evening, hope you two are good staying?"

he asked Casey and April as they shrugged un-phased.

"Raph will sort you up with a bed for the evening Bonnie- hope that's alright with you. With all the activity in the area tonight its probably best if you stay too" he added as I could only nod along with the words.

I froze again. Wait- we were staying over now?

Then another sound more steps, heavier- larger. I looked up to the noise and my eyes landed on my turtle.

Huh. I hadn't considered that.

 _My_ turtle…

I swallowed the lump down in my dry throat as my eyes locked on his. My insides rocked as he made his way over to me. Everything else seemed to fade away.

It was just me and him in this little room. Taking each other in, in this new surrounding.

"Pizza's comin'" a voice boomed as I jumped and flicked my head round to see a spinning Mikey; leaning over the rail tightly as he grinned towards us.

"Hope you like _meat_ beautiful…" he winked at me as I blew out a laugh I didn't know was being contained. My head swam, my feelings and the crazed day taking its toll.

I dropped my head into my hands as my elbows propped myself up on the table. I laughed into my hands once, rubbing my face down as I breathed out.

The next thing I knew a glass was being put down beside me, a bottle top pop off and liqueur was being poured into a cup. I peaked up to see Raph standing behind me, pouring a small amount of Jack Daniel's into the glass tumbler.

I eyed him up, he looked to me knowingly and winked.

"drink- it 'elps"

I picked the cup up and smirked.

"knew you were a 'jack' guy." I added as I downed the drink in one. I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I squeezed my eyes shut and let the liqueur pull at the inside of my mouth.

Instantly I felt my body relax, my shoulders dropped and the tension in my body lifted a little.

I opened my eyes and peaked up at Raph again. He smiled. His shoulders bounced with a chuckle that never escaped his lips.

"'Ows that?"

"You remembered" I added nodding to glass.

"'ard not ta-made me laugh"

I turned my head, now noticing 5 sets of eyes watching us.

I blew out another breath and nodded to myself; taking in the new faces as I studied each one of them. Most of their eyes moved, Leo looking behind me and Donnie too; obviously studying Raph. But I could feel his eyes on me, watching me in detail.

I blushed.

Then I looked to April suspiciously. Her gaze flicked between me and him…

I froze and clamped my teeth down concerned.

Had she figured all of me out?

It was then when Mikey moved closer, now occupying the chair beside me as he leaned across the table comfortably. I didn't mind; his presence seemed to break all the tension or distract me enough to not realise there was tension there.

"You okay sweet cheeks?" he asked in a light hearted voice. I felt myself naturally smiling at him, feeling peaceful as I nodded to him.

"I'm good Mikey- thank you" I said touching his arm once in thanks. He looked down and grinned to me, showing all of his teeth to me as light conversation took over the table. I leaned back in the chair, my arms now in my lap as I tried to push myself further back into the chair.

I could feel Raph leaning against my chair; his hands playing with the back of it as I looked around.

No one seemed to notice, but I could feel his eyes on me, not constantly, but just there burning every few seconds. I wanted so desperately to turn around and look at him head on.

Was I getting that needy?

"So…tell me beautiful; what did Raph do to get cha to keep wanting his company?" Mikey asked as I blew a breath out and let a small giggle escape. A growl came from behind me.

"Mikey" Raph's quipped voice echoed, but it was to late as he had drawn all attention to me as all eyes settled back on me.

I averted my gaze and turned to look back at Raph, who looked down on me with a confused expression- the first time I had ever noticed him looking like that.

"He didn't keep me wanting his company, he just…kept _showing up_ " I shrugged and laughter echoed round the room. Raph tutted.

"I did _not_ \- you were da one climbin' roofs an' stuff" he added as I clenched my jaw and looked to Casey who's face went wide.

"You did what?" he asked quickly.

"ANYway…" I added desperate for someone else to say something to distract him. I turned my eyes annoyed at Raph. He noticed and grinned.

"Den dere was da runnin' through dark streets, getting' lost- ya little danga magnet"

I eyed Casey back who all but bugged eyes out at me. I cursed under my breath at the laughing red clad turtle.

"Calm down; I'm alive aren't I? Besides, I got 'Christian Bale' here racing the streets to protect me" I shot back with a snicker.

"Oh he do his voice on ya?" Mikey laughed as I giggled with him. I turned to view Raph, who now leant away from me with crossed arms and an annoyed expression; looking like a two year-old who had lost his favourite toy. It made my smirk wider.

"Did ya Raph? Did ya do yer ' _batman voice'_?" Mikey taunted in a mocking dark tone, and it was quickly met with a shove as Mikey rolled forcefully out of the chair he was in. I giggled; Raph blushed- and everyone around us noticed our exchange.

"I'm not sorry; you still drank all my beer remember?" I told him with a point. He shrugged.

"Shouldna bought good beer when you knew a was comin'" he said with a smirk as I shook my curls. I turned to his other brothers who grinned at our exchanged pleasantly.

"Are you sure he's turtle? Because he is most definitely more Raccoon…possibly a goat with the way he eats and drinks" I asked them; they chuckled. Raph shook his head and grinned down to me. I grinned back up our eyes locking for a small amount of time.

"Well I think it is wonderful Raphael has a new kin-ship" a new voice entered as they all turned. I couldn't see over their shoulders until they moved around allowing my eyes to take note of the new figure.

I froze.

In front of me reaching around 5ft 4, was a giant rat- an old gentleman looking- rat, dressed in yellow robes and carrying a 'weekly digest'.

And then my darling cousin started to laugh; Casey eyed me confidently.

"This should be good…" he mumbled.

A bottle lid popped again, and suddenly my glass was full again.

I felt all eyes on me watching as my eyes grew wide registering the new face.

"Donatello, I can't seem to start my television for my programme- I seem to have misplaced the remote- would you be so kind-"

"Sure thing Master" he called as he skidded off.

My eyes bugged. It was only then I notice Raph leaned down, now taking up Mikey's seat beside me as Mikey jumped over to this 'master' rat.

"Hey hey! Master Splinter! Come meet our new friend!"

The rat's eyes turned on me as I took in his features much better than before; his onyx black eyes stared at me deeply, drinking in my face.

"I heard your arrival earlier, I thought time was best before I interfered"

Wait. He had already seen me?

"A miss Bonnie Jones isn't it?" his eyes caught my own as I blinked for the first time in a while. I smiled forcefully, probably looking like a goon, while everyone hid their own smirk.

"Hello…" I commented in a high pitched voice. What was I supposed to address him as 'Sir'?

'Master'? _Who was he?_

A hand found my back again; Raph's. I blushed.

The rat looked between me and Raphael before grinning warmly; almost lovingly..

"I hear my Raphael has been keeping you company these past few months"

He had heard? Did Raph tell him?! **_Who the fuck was he?!_**

"He's been no bother" I added lightly my mind getting slowly used to the rat's presence and appearance. The rat chuckled and leaned across to touch my hand. I let him, as everyone froze for a moment, he studied me- almost looking deeply into my soul as he nodded to me once.

"You have a beautiful soul Miss Jones; much like your face"

I looked down naturally as I blushed, my eyes could see Raph from out the corner of my eyes; his face soft and warm- a small smirk there.

"I trust my son has been accommodating?" he asked and I pulled my eyes confused. I looked to Casey, who nodded towards Raph and Leo.

My head fell forward a little at the realisation.

"You're…Raph's father" I blew out trying my best not to make it sound like a question. He chuckled twice and shook his tail.

"You have still much to tell her my son" he said pointedly at Raphael. Raph kept looking at me, gouging my reaction as I remained mellow and still.

"I shall leave you to it for the evening; perhaps when you are more settled Miss Jones, we may chat for a longer period of time- but right now, my show is about to start" he told me gripping his magazine tighter in an enthused way.

"Good night Casey, April, goodnight Miss Bonnie" he said with a bow of his head and a sigh on his lips.

He mumbled something cheerily as he went down a corridor and disappeared down a tunnel alley again.

I took the glass that Raph had filled and chugged it back again. The familiar sting becoming all too familiar. He chuckled at me; and it didn't go unnoticed by the others in the room. I all but slammed the glass back down onto the table and blew out a deep breath I wasn't aware I had been holding.

Beside me, Raph snickered in my ear; gaining my attention.

"So…you told me about the brothers…you told me they were 'crime fightin' walkin' talkin' turtles…failed to mention the rodent _dad_!" I looked to him quipped. He sat in his usual position; leg stretched out, arms folded as he smirked to me.

" _Yeah_ ….kinda forgot bout dat one" he chuckled "ya face Doll… dat was funny" his shoulders bounced. The others chuckled too, watching us converse as if we were a TV show.

I turned to the rest of them, specifically looking at Leo. My eyes flickered between him, Mikey and Raph.

"So…a rat father with turtle children…and you guys don't question this…or…" I said rolling my hand in the air playfully. They all chuckled happily.

"Were adopted" Leo corrected politely with a pleasant smile.

"Ya dunce" Raph laughed as I looked at him in mock shock, the corners of my lips lifting a little as I shoved him with my hand.

"Smarter than you- robot wars boy" I mumbled as he grinned at me and shook his head.

Then there was a buzz above us and Mikey and Leo quickly disappeared down another corridor. April patted Casey's arm.

"I'm going to change" She told him gently as she stood and looked down to Casey. Casey smiled, blatantly missing April's signal as she elbowed him hard and stared at him crossly.

"What?" Casey asked as she thrust her head away from the kitchen towards the alley ways, her eyes draping across Raph and me before shooting back the way. Casey's eyes widened.

"ohhhhh" he nodded and stretched obviously. "Me too…I'll go change too" He added with a terrible fake yawn.

I watched them both go as April pulled Casey angrily away muttering something about "give them some space…"

The kitchen area was now emptied; leaving me alone with Raph for the first time since all of this had happened. He looked to me, wanting to say something, then dropped his shoulders and shut his lips.

"What?" I asked smoothly as I leant on the table again.

"Not'in…jus…are _ya_ okay?" he breathed to me nervously as I nodded way to quickly.

"My bro's aren't da most…suttle of people…" he added rubbing his neck. I interrupted him with a soft smile.

"I'm fine- really I am" I said my hand falling on his arm reassuringly. I left it there as he looked down at it then back to me gently.

This seemed to be his new expression lately.

"how was everything with your brothers? Were they mad? Do they hate me?" I asked with gritted teeth, nerves filled my system. Raph looked at me completely shocked as his amber eyes narrowed.

"No course not; Mikey's practically _droolin'_ all ova ya…" he told me as I looked down and smiled in humour.

"He's sweet" I told him "They all are actually"

He watched me with a grumbling expression.

"Its annoyin' ta watch" he mumbled as I chuckled at his attitude. Not caring to admit to my self how much it pleased me that it annoyed him.

"Damn Raph some would say you were jealous" I said low in a snicker. He eyed me sarcastically with a raised eyebrow and shut his mouth.

"must be weird" he muttered quietly, trying to change the subject "you bein' 'ere…in da sewer"

"We all gotta live somewhere Raph…" I chuckled. "do you know what's sick? You don't pay rent and your place is so much _bigger_ and _cooler_ than mine; I mean the water slide? Nice touch" I smiled at him as he looked down and laughed at my words.

"T'anks Doll" he said, and in a completely new move, his hand flew on top of mine- resting on top of the one I had on my arm. His fingers caressed mine gently, and it amazed me how soft he could be with me.

And if anything, it was making me fall harder for him, like crashing down deep into the bottom of a sewer.

"I mean it yano…thank you for…bein' _you_ \- not freakin' out on dem…on dad…not screamin'…its nice" he rambled on as his fingers drew patterns on the back of my hand, his large finger couldn't really make intricate circles, but he tried and moved further down my arm to draw symbols on the back of my forearm and hand. A small resting smile coated my face gently.

I sighed dreamily; again at him.

I needed to reel it in, but my brain pushed the thought down deep as I breathed out to him.

"Well…I meant what I said the other night…I love having you around" I breathed out to his face. He looked to me; glazed over features as we settled into the little bubble, leaning into each other with soft expression on our faces. Something new coming over us…

"PIZZA!" Mikey called making us jump apart. My heart sprang in my chest as the world came spirally back around to us. I looked to where the orange turtle called from and he barrelled into the eating area and threw the box down onto the table.

My head span as the rest of the crew came back into the room, pulling us away from our bubble; popping it involuntarily.

I shook my head and dove into the conversation, the business of the room seemed to distract from the thumping in my chest, and the ache I know I held for him.

I blew a breath out as Casey and April reappeared, hanging over me checking I was alright; Raph stayed close, watching me and moving Mikey back whenever he got over excited.

It lasted an hour or so; everyone ate in a pleasant conversation as I listened intently to their arguments. Raph constantly rolled his eyes at his brothers, and Mikey constantly winked at me winningly. I would giggle and it would make Raph unsure, a little more grumpier..almost jealous again. This pleased me even more…

"So what are you studying Bonnie?" Donatello asked curiously.

"Psychology; I kinda wanna do something along the criminal line with it; I'm also studying criminology - its really interesting"

Donnie's eyes lit up behind his large framed glasses as he pushed them back on his nose.

"Wow! That sounds cool! do you look into forensic work?" he asked with a tilt of his head.

"Later on this year I do, couple of trips out to scenes too- it really cool"

"Only you would find dead people and crime scenes interesting" April chuckled as I eyed Casey.

"Runs in the family" I said, he leaned over to fist pump me. We laughed a little together.

"But for now, I'm working in the shop- boss is pretty hard going; a _real nut_ " I said pointedly looking to April who grinned and ate some more of her pizza.

"For that you're working double shift next weekend!"

"You're closed then anyway!" I chuckled.

She laughed too "you're right! What a good employee I have."

I laughed at her, with her at the ease of this entire situation; how normal everything seemed. I turned to look at Raph once, he looked down smiling to himself before turning back to his cup. I yawned involuntarily and rubbed my eyes.

"Ya a'right Doll?" Raph asked concerned as I nodded.

"Just tired- its been a _long_ day; haven't had one of those days in a while" I scoffed playfully as I nodded; they all followed suit.

"That goes for all of us; I think some shut eye is called for" Leo added nodding to his brothers who all slowly bobbed their heads. April yawned too and Casey rubbed her back.

"Yeah- I'm going to sleep too; Case- you got your sleeping bag right?" April asked standing up, they both moved round each other. Casey was about to follow naturally, when he stopped stiff and turned to look back at me with careful guarded eyes.

"You gonna be okay?" he asked as I looked around the room to all the boys faces.

"What? you think they're all gonna attack me when _you_ leave? Seriously Case" I told him with a pointed look. He sighed as his features ducked down and crossed together, blush obvious on his face.

"Goodnight _Cousin_ " I called to him as he leant across as ruffled my hair playfully.

"Take care of her Raph" he told my red headed turtle in a serious tone, he slapped his shell once before he scuttled down a corridor following behind April.

His caring message touching my heart.

Then I was left alone with them; confused to where I was actually going.

"Mike- Bonnies takin' ar room tonight- so I'm takin' da couch, you're on da chair" I looked to him with wide startled eyes.

"Wait- I'm one person- there's _two_ of you _; I'll_ take the couch"

"Like hell ya will!" Raph said arguing back. "My place, my rules" he grunted to me as I raised an eyebrow.

"I'll remember that next time you wanna watch robot wars over my whale show"

"It was jus' fishes princess; let it go!" I huffed and pouted; feeling silly but too tired to stop.

"Its totally cool dudette- jus' make sure you sleep in the bottom bunk; that's where I sleep" Mikey winked cheekily again. Raph flat out elbowed him in the stomach, causing him to fall from his chair; he didn't even look at him as Mikey got back up waving his hand.

"I'm good! Sorry! Sorry!"

"Seriously Raph- I'm more than fine with sleeping on a couch or a chair or-"

"I could offer my room?" Leo interrupted, followed by Donnie politely who looked to me smiling

"Or mine?" he chipped in with a nerdish grin. I smiled to their kindness, but it was cut short by a growl from my turtle.

" _My bed_ " he grunted out, and clicked twice. I took in his words; they burned at my groin deliciously.

I thought about what the words could mean, and my thoughts ran away with the idea. I imagined his voice in my ear…

 _I want ya in my bed…_

I bit the inside of my cheek hard, stopping the blood flow.

"C'mon I'll show ya" Raph said, ignoring his brothers faces as I tried to protest, he didn't listen and I sighed and rolled my eyes at him; I turned towards the boys.

I touched each of their shoulders on my way passed in a thankful manor.

"Goodnight boys" I called. I was met with a string of:

"See you in the morning Bonnie!"

"Night angelface!

"Goodnight!"

I turned away following Raph's shell as we walked, he headed down a small corridor, then took a left towards a rounded sewer head and pulled back a red and orange curtain to reveal his room.

It was more a communal area than a room, and opened up out into several different pathways.

I bit my lip unsure.

"Ya okay?" Raph mumbled as I looked down and swallowed.

"It's a little…empty here- you know without noises or-"

Raph pointed to the sofa which stood a couple of meters to my right.

"Il be sleepin' dere" I blew out a sigh of relief; it wasn't far away- in fact we were practically sleeping in the same room; and for that my mind buzzed with happiness.

"Mikey will be on da chair over dere too- an' Leo's rooms just above ere- so don't sweat; ya ain't alone Doll" he told me.

I walked into his curtained area and took in his room. I looked at the oversized queen bunk beds that had been fashioned out of metal and wood. I could see magazines on Mikey's bed and cans of Orange soda sticking out from underneath it.

Orange on the bottom; red blankets on the top. I chuckled at the organisation of it all. Raph fussed immediately, and began picking up clothes and random objects that lay on the floor. I didn't care.

"'ere" he said passing me an oversized red jersey. I took it in my hands and weighed it up, feeling the cotton in between my fingers.

"Somet'in ta sleep in- comfier" he shrugged nervously.

"Is it yours?" I asked him and he nodded twice.

"Kept it from when a was younger- don't really get jerseys ta fit nowadays" he said with a smirk. I nodded, excited I had a piece of his clothing in my hands as I smirked back to him playfully.

"I bet you can't" I looked him up and down playfully, fighting down the raging blush on my face and the fire in my belly.

We stood like that for another minute, until I yawned again and shook my head.

"I'll leave ya to it- am literally outside ya door if ya need me. I'm top bunk too…yano- jus' in case ya were wonderin'...'"

"I got it Raph; Thank you" I told him placing my hand on him again as a sign of thanks. This was becoming more frequent now; a hand here, a touch there- a little back rub when needed.

I swallowed.

He turned to head out, then stopped and turned back around to look at me.

"Goodnight Doll" he offered and I smiled softly.

"Night Stalker"

And with a tut he turned and left, letting the curtain fall back into place- shielding me into his room. I sighed and studied the room a little more closely; it was obvious between him and Mikey, they both shared certain tastes- it also didn't go unnoticed by me the half naked women's calendar hanging from the open wardrobe door.

Human women.

 _Interesting…_

I shook my head- it was the the most spot on bachelor's room I had ever seen.

I stripped from my clothes and pulled on the jersey- it was still huge, about 6 sizes out, but it was soft and smelt exactly like Raphael. I breathed him in; his scent cooling and calming me as I gripped his top.

I climbed up onto his bed, my mind spiralling to all the times he had slept here; sat to think here…

My legs dug into his blankets deeply smothering myself in them. I breathed them in again; his scent zesty and masculine.

I couldn't resist.

And then my mind came crashing down on me; how normal the day had started- how I was trying to fight my emotions for Raph, how upset I had been at the idea of not seeing him for the day…

Then, just like the small explosion, my body shook.

Everything flew at me as I took in the people I had met and my new mangled feelings for this turtle. I also had to now worry about April finding out since I had all but totally admitted everything to her in a long drawn out rant…

I could hardly believe I was in the sewer right now.

I lay looking up at what was neon lights through the curtain edge of this tented room, until my eyes grew insanely heavy and they fell shut sending me to sleep, all the while smelling Raph's clothes and blankets.

Feeling safe and secure in this crazy new world I was shoved into…

* * *

 **Sooooo what do we think?! Whats going to happen next?**

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	10. Late night Patch ups

**_Hi guys just another big thank you to everyone reviewing and enjoying the story- Just a quick question for those avid readers..im tempted to do an M rating chapter later on in the story...BUUUT i dont know whether or not to do so- If you could let me know what you think on that- that would be great!_**

 ** _Enjoy!_**

* * *

 _"Baby…" Raph's lazy tone sung out to me as I held him close; I was on his lap cuddling into him as I lay my head on his neck._

 _We were in my apartment, just watching TV; robot wars drowning in the background._

 _"I love you Doll…I really love ya" he breathed to me as I grinned and rubbed my nose with his beak._

 _His hands on my back holding me tightly, keeping me close to him as I grinned down again._

 _"I love you Raph….I am so in love with you…"_

 _I leaned down- ready to press my lips to his like I had done it a thousand times- my body burned, my eyes burned shut as I leant in._

 _Then there was an explosion._

 _And the laugh of the two giant mutants filled my ears._

 _"Gotcha!"_

 _"Get da gurl!"_

 _Raph gripped me; I was now stood behind him, and we were in an alley way. He was twirling his forks like usual, but he growled._

 _"ya aint comin' near my girl…" his voice animalistic as he growled deeper._

 _They ran at each other, tumbling; but with a quick flick, Raph was thrown to the side._

 _"Raph!" I called to him desperately. He didn'_ _t_ _get back up._

 _"Come on girly- if ya so in love wid mutants, lets see what ya can do fer us…" two giant hands reached towards me greedily as I suppressed down a scream…_

I sat bolt up with a heavy gasp. My forehead sweating and my heart hammering. I took in the dark areas of the room, momentarily forgetting where I was until Raph's scent washed over me.

My hand fell over my mouth, stopping my deep rasping breaths. I looked around; looking up to see the neon lights off, just a flicker of an escape sign, further up on the wall keeping a glow going around the room.

I breathed heavily, lifting my knees up so I could fully move on the bed. My heart rate slowed decreasingly. I swallowed down the crazed silly dream and shook my head.

It was only then when I realised how desperate I was for the bathroom.

I jumped down from the top bunk and stretched, feeling wobbly on my tired legs until I dug the balls of my feet into the ground. I breathed, using my hands to find the curtained door as I stepped out of the room.

Out here was a little lighter- the communal area filled with the heavy snores of a now un-banded turtle, who lay upside down on the chair. His chubby cute cheeks dusted in freckles, his rounded head, and smaller stature told me it was Mikey. I smiled at him, dreaming in his deep sleep before I looked to the pizza box couch where I thought I would find Raph; whom I could then nudge awake in order to find the damn bathroom.

But it was empty. I huffed impatiently. My eyes hitting the floor in my temper. But then my eyes caught a light; it bright and clear coming through a door. Further along the corridor, down to the right, a door was half open and bright yellow light splayed out from it.

There was an angry tut and a sharp groan.

 _Raph_ , I easily recognised.

I moved towards it curiously, my head tilted as I tip toed over to it silently; actually proud of my quiet sly movements.

My hands found the door as I pushed it open a little, it revealed a bathroom of sorts; a bigger bathroom with the biggest tub I had ever seen, and showers to the right. Everything steel or chrome.

And there, stood central, facing me but looking over his shoulder into a large mirror; was a topless Raphael.

My heart hammered in my chest as my mouth fell open ever so slightly.

Technically; he was always topless- so this was no exception. But without his armoured shoulder blade and thick straps across his chest; he looked so much more naked here- so much more vulnerable.

And my whole body swelled at him.

His mask tilted so that it only covered one of his eyes, and here I could see his angular face so much more clearly than before, his bright amber eyes which were pulled into an angry stare, were beautiful against his thick green skin. He growled and ripped his mask off, pulling it to the floor as his body twisted. I could only stand, watching him, gripping the side of the door, gently as he continued to manoeuvre with some difficulty.

He was looking at his shell and trying to reach something near the top of it. He grunted again, trying to touch it as he twisted left and right.

I opened the door further and moved into the room swiftly. His eyes then clasped onto me sharply.

I felt like prey in that solidified moment. My breathing ceased as did his own, my eyes watching him as he watched me. His face was so much more angled without the mask- his eyes so much brighter and wider here…

He had the most handsome face.

He swallowed exaggeratingly as I watched the adam's apple in his throat bob twice. I gritted my teeth and pressed my thighs together.

My naked thighs.

I looked down and back up in alarm- I had completely forgotten to put my pants on.

Luckily; the jersey I was wearing fell just above my knees, although I did have to stop the bloody thing from falling off my shoulder every few moments. I had kept my socks on too; it wasn't much- but it helped hide most of my chunky legs.

Raph seemed to notice as he froze too- his body twisted and still. His mouth fell open and his eyes alarmed. Again, a dragging minute passed as we took each other in. I fought back the need to bite down hard on my lip.

 _This was becoming impossible…_

"Ya okay Doll?" he breathed low to me. In side my mind went wild…

 _I could run at him, my hands would cup his cheeks as my lips met his passionately; I wanted to reach for him and he would then reach down- pulling me to him breathtakingly, my fingers would rake against his naked chest and his hands on my naked thighs, hitching them as our lips moved against each others desperately…_

I shook my head and breathed twice.

Stupid fucking over fuelled imagination…

"I-I just needed the bathroom" I told him, pushing down any feelings of arousal and love I was currently processing.

Raph's eyes darkened as they dragged over my figure- I tried to hide one leg behind the other, I tried to angle my body a little better, trying to hide my flaws. But he drank me in like I was a tall glass of beer…

Then he cleared his throat

"Oh yeah sure- jus' gimme a sec" he said as he stretched again, he leaned down to grab a few supplies- duck tape in one hand and what looked to be a soaked rag in the other.

My curiosity got the better of me.

"What's that?" I asked moving closer to him as he shook his head. "what are you doing?" I pressed.

He sighed heavily, his eyes unsure and nervous.

"Jus' from when a fell the other night- it's a'right- was just changing tha bandage" he waved off as I stood firmly in front of him. The memory of his conversation with his brother seemed to bounce back; he had fallen into the dumpster…directly below my bedroom window, the same night I had basically had a female equivalent of a wet dream.

I pushed my blush back.

"Let me do it" I said in a low monotone voice. He looked to me for a minute and then smirked.

"Ya alright doll- a can-"

"Show me" I breathed deep and low, my voice urgent, my hands finding my hips. He looked to me again, in a dark drinking way- it made my thighs twitch as I did my best to supress the urge and power he was possessing me with.

"Sit" I pointed to the toilet seat as he looked to it, and for a minute I thought he may try to stop me, but he eyed me up, twitched his lip once and then decided to sit down like I had asked.

Sitting he was still nearly the same height as me- just, but the extra foot I had on my height, seemed to out reach his head. His eyes level with my breasts.

I swallowed.

 _Not the time! Stop it!_

I growled to myself as I moved to touch the back of his shell; he leant forward a little, his elbows on his knees as I looked around with a focus in my vision.

Near the top of his shell, central there was a crack, more like a gouge- it was an alarming red and split across the middle about 20 centimetres in width

My eyes crossed further down.

"Jeeze Raph…" I breathed as my fingers danced around it lightly. He tensed in discomfort as I put my hand out in front of him expectantly.

"Cloth" I commanded as he dropped the wet rag into my hand.

I ran it under the cold tap making sure it was clean again.

"Donnie gave me some solution stuff- said ta put it on- it's dere" he pointed to the little clear bottle that sat on the sink.

I nodded as I grabbed it and tipped it upside down into the cloth.

I turned back to him and placed the little bottle back down on the side. My hand pushed his body forward again; down towards his knees as he folded over. His shell nearly flat for me as I leaned against the rest of his body, against his shell, and pressed the rag into the crack.

He grumbled and moaned tightly, discomfort alarming on his face as he cringed and blew a heavy breath out from his nostrils.

"Shhhhh…" I hushed him in a mothering manor, my hands rubbing his shoulder softly. I held the rag on firmly, as he continued to cringe and squeeze his eyes shut in a resting position.

I felt the corners of my lips turn up into a smile again.

"Reminds me of the first night we met" I murmured to him as he huffed out a breath. "you were just a big as a wimp then as you are now" I breathed to him in a breathless giggle.

"Shut up" he quipped lowly as he went back to gritting his teeth. I breathed out a small laugh and looked back over to his shell. My fingers moved on their own; wanting to feel the back of his shell.

My fingers gently brushed it expecting it as Raph shuddered underneath me. I turned to look back at his face.

"You can feel that?"

"ar' shells ar' sensitive doll" he added with a movement of his lips. I muffled a laugh as I dragged my fingers back over the top of his shell. He squirmed again uncomfortably.

I giggled.

"'you're ticklish?" I asked, he grumbled and muttered, his eyebrows lowering into a cross expression.

I tapped my fingernails across him again. He shuffled underneath my hands again.

I laughed loudly.

"ar'ight ar'ight, jeeze doll"

"sorry, sorry" I mumbled settling my self down into a smile, his annoyed face awfully cute as I my shoulders bumped up and down smothering my laugh.

He rolled his eyes at me.

We stayed quiet for a few minutes, just letting me attend to him as he kept completely still, his eyes remained closed tightly.

And it was then when I felt the burning questions coming to me.

"So…you wanna tell me what you were doing outside my bedroom that night?" I breathed out.

His whole body tensed underneath me.

I needed to ask it- I had to. But Raph kept quiet. He didn't answer me at first, his whole body still as if he had turned to ice.

I turned back to his shell, doing my best to ease him into this subject.

"You gonna tell me you fell from my building edge and swung round into the trash?" I asked again quipped.

"Maybe"

"Come on Raph- please don't lie to me" I asked gently. He sighed and looked to the floor.

"I ain't no stalker for real…I was jus'… on ya building"

"As you always are" I pressed but stopped myself from making anymore comments, he looked up at me annoyed. I shut my mouth and watched his naked face.

 _His beautiful,_ _ **beautiful**_ _face…_

"I…I heard ya make a noise…thought you were 'urt…"

Now I froze. My entire body alive and confused and terrified and so very still.

"Go on" I asked, my eyes staring hard at his shell.

"I jus' checked on ya…you were jus' sleepin…n den I slipped; _fell_ " he seemed more confident and quicker with this answer as my mouth dried.

"What did you hear?" I asked, not bearing to even look at his face. I knew myself well enough to know I spoke in my sleep; it was a habit I really needed to kick.

"No'tin Doll…don't worry bout it- ya were jus' dreamin' dats all"

"Raph- What. Did. You. Hear?" I growled lower. He froze again, slightly silent as he tensed again.

"it was jus…jus' like a…a moan…sorta…"

I blew out a breath and my head ducked down onto the back of his shell. My forehead touching it.

"Oh god" I breathed in total humiliation.

"I didn't 'ear not'in else- dats when I fell" he pushed, but it was obvious I didn't believe him. It was so obvious he wasn't telling the full truth either.

"Fuck I'm so embarrassed" I breathed pinching the bridge of my nose and squeezing my eyes shut.

"Not like it's a big deal or anyt'in…right?" he added with a shrug.

"Oh Yeah _course not_ \- just you listening into me _moaning_ while I was in bed dreaming _\- Jeeze_ "

"What were ya dreamin' of?" the question seemed to tumble out of him quickly, as I looked to his eyes; an instant regret there.

My mouth fell open, ready for words to come out, but my vocal chords had shut tight. My body breathless at the idea of letting him know. Blush spread everywhere- even on my legs which he kept flicking down to look at and back up.

I tried again- but only air fell out of me…

 _"Raph! Urgh!"…_

I couldn't tell him.

I couldn't.

"N-nothing"

He seemed to grumble and look at me; clearly seeing I wasn't up for revealing things.

"Well…not like ya were dreamin' of anyt'in special…right?" he asked.

I fell quiet. My cheeks burned dully. That's when my stance fell, my lips slammed shut. I couldn't push this any further without going into detail on why I was so embarrassed about it. And if he pushed on that all my feelings, my jumbles of words and emotions for him would come barrelling out;

And I would potentially loose him forever.

"Right" I added with a breath as shook my head, wishing I never would have brought this entire conversation up. I huffed sharply and pushed my shoulders back.

"Besides; i-it was private and _subconscious_ \- you shouldn't have been listening"

"Kinda 'ard not to when ya were bein' so loud- ah fuck!" he growled as I pushed the cloth further into his cut. He grumbled as I hid a smirk.

"Shhh you'll wake your brother" I scolded quietly. He grumbled again, a rumble moving throughout him as I loosened my tight press.

"Have you considered you might wake 'im wid all ya moanin'? its becomin' a habit…" he said darkly with the most delicious humour. My eyes went wide as I flew round to look at his face.

"I haven't been, have I?" I nearly shrieked. His face laced with humour again as his shoulders bounced. He smirked to me, hushing me down.

"shhh…Nah…jus' pullin' ya leg Doll, dats all" he chuckled quietly "shouldn't 'ave pushed ya luck ticklin' ma shell" he said through his huge smirk. I moved to smack his other arm.

He whined pathetically. "'Ey!" he called. I hushed him again.

"Right- now where's your bandage?" I asked him and he held up the duck tape in his hand waving it at me- my face fell into a flat line.

"You're kidding me right?" I said but he shook his head with a smirk.

"It's da only thing dat really works wid our shells; works _like_ a bandage," he shrugged as I took it from him and sighed.

"A gauze patch would really be better for this" I mumbled

"We ran out last week- Mikey used dem for 'is skateboard cuts"

I sighed, but doing as instructed I pulled the duck tape out, and lined it up along each side of his shell; doubling it over into a cross, until the redness was completely covered and it felt secure enough.

"There- all done"

"T'anks sweetheart" he said standing up to stretch his back.

 _Sweetheart…another new one…_

My stomach pooled over and over again…

I crossed my arms over my chest to stop my heart from leaping out as I smiled to him.

He moved to look in his mirror, stretched round in the same position I had caught him in as he looked twice.

"Not bad" he said with a nod. I smiled to him weakly.

"Oh shit- lemme jus' get ma stuff an' il letcha…" he said wandering off his sentence as he scooped up his stuff and retracted out of the bathroom.

I forced my body to move; completely having forgotten about the urge to pee.

At least wetting my self would have been less embarrassing that Raph hearing me moan.

I shook my head; all of it was ridiculous. And I knew it was best to let it go….

I washed my hands quickly as I finished up and looked at my self in the mirror. My eyes captured my nose intently as I eyed the little bumped scar that sat in the corner….

 _"Dad come on, you can't go anywhere like this" I growled to him angrily. He ignored me, throwing his large hands out into the air._

 _"Don't you fuckin' start" he muttered lowly. He headed for the door as I moved quickly to stand in front of him._

 _I grabbed his keys from the little side table as I went._

 _"Move Bonnie…" his voice was sickeningly uneven and the smell of him disgusting; I had had enough of all of this shit for far too long- it was time to stop it all, time to help if I could._

 _He had been hurting for over 12 years, I had taken care of him that long- let him off with missing school plays, picking me up, graduations, palmed social workers off with excuses, lied to Casey at family gatherings, gotten used to dressing myself and doing my own hair…_

 _He had enough time; now it was time to stop._

 _He pushed at me as I shook my head, pushing him right back as well as I could._

 _"No" I growled._

 _"Give me the keys Bonnie" his voice a slur and I could just make the words out through being used to his voice._

 _"No dad"_

 _"I SAID GIVE ME THE FUCKIN' KEYS!" he roared at me, he moved towards me and I wasn'_ _t_ _quick enough; his fist smacked me straight on in my face and the crunch of my nose sent me to the ground. The pain excruciating as I gasped, feeling blood pouring down out to the floor._

 _He grabbed the keys from my now own hands and to make matters worse; kicked me three times on his way out; hard- in my ribs deliberately._

 _"Stupid bitch" he mumbled out between thrusts of his foot._

 _I gasped out twice, laying there as the tears pooled._

 _I stayed there listening to the car wheels screeched. Then I sobbed. I sobbed hard as I curled up, tasting my own blood as it fell into my mouth. I tried to catch my breath but it was no use- knife sharp pain spread through my lungs as I tried my best to keep still._

 _My hands soon found my cell phone- And I dialled Casey instinctively._

 _"Hey Bon whats up?"_

 _And then I cried- I cried everything out to him in a deep rushing go. How shit my dad had been, how hurt I was, how awful it had been- for 12 years._

 _And Casey listened only breathing two words to me- letting me know it was gonna be okay._

 _"I'm coming'"_

I swallowed, leaning against the glass as my eyes shut breathing smoothly. The memories still burned. I lifted my head away and looked to my now red eyes- tears had pooled, but I had pressed them back away.

My hand reached for the little cut again. I tried to push the little cut in but to my fail it still stuck out a little; it wasn't hugely noticeable- just silvery, and because I knew it was there- it made it so much more obvious to me on a daily basis.

I looked down to the sink and sighed. One loose tear dripped free. I cursed. I looked up in the mirror. My eyes meeting amber again. Raph was in the door way just as I had been a little while ago. I didn't turn- I just looked at him through the mirror.

He moved forward, not too close, but further into the room. I gripped the sink gently and sniffed twice, wanting to jump into a new subject. My hand wiped at my now composed face, getting rid of any teary evidence.

"Damn, you watchin' me pee now stalker? I can't escape from you" I tried to force a giggle out trying to take the sadness out of my eyes, but he saw right through me.

He knew was I had been thinking about. He took another step towards me as my pained eyes watched him in the mirror. My grip on the sink tightened.

"You t'hinkin' bout it aint ya?"

"I'm fine Raph-" I quipped.

"I'm jus' sayin' its alright to be-"

"I said _I'm fine"_ I said sternly, firmly a little louder than I had meant for it to come out. My hands that were gripping the sink were now shaking. And I had almost lost all self control as I locked my jaw tight.

"I don't wanna talk about it okay? Just sometimes I need to think about it…to really process it" I told him nodding, I swallowed as my eyes became distant again…

 _The way his foot jabbed into my stomach; his heavy boots crushing into my ribs…_

I cringed my hands finding my ribs from the ghosting pain.

"as much as I don't want to think about it…" I trailed off.

Raph didn't say anything else; he just stayed still, understanding my need to distress at that moment as I breathed deeply; controlled. My anger and sadness being locked down. I looked down into the sink and took in another deep breath, closing my eyes for a minute as I pushed the emotions down.

I lifted my head, my eyes still closed as I leant my head back.

And it made contact with the hard warm chest of Raphael.

I opened my eyes weakly, looking at him gently as he looked back at me in the mirror- our faces level, our eyes both soft.

"You don't wanna talk- a'right- listen" he pressed smoothly and softly as I remained still watching his naked face as he watched me.

"If a knew ya den; if we met when it 'appened; dere wouldn't be any o' him left" he told me strongly in the lowest voice possible.

"'A would of fuckin' killed him, _murdered him, ripped him limb from limb…."_ Raph's anger seemed to build as he watched me securely. I closed my eyes as another singular loose tear dripped out. I put a hand behind me, reaching for his cheek as I hushed him again, with the smallest of smiles- recomposing my self. He leaned into my hand in the way I expected him too- his face nuzzled down into my palm as we both sighed.

"I wouldn't let anyone touch ya, anyone so much as breath on ya…" he muttered into my palm, his lips accidentally brushing my hand as he spoke.

I swallowed, regaining my voice.

"I'm glad you weren't there" I told him solemnly; his eyes looked up to mine sharply, a wondrous question looked to be on the tip of his tongue.

I knew what he was going to say…

 _Why?_

"You're not tainted by the memory of it" I told him with a small smile. He seemed to get it.

I could think of him completely; safely, warmly- and not have any attachment to my father through him.

"Besides; if you did any ripping, Casey would have had to clean up your dirty work _and_ cover for you" I laughed sadly as he snickered humourlessly over my shoulder.

"'es good wid blood; 'e could handle it" Raph added making me laugh a little more brightly.

My fingers touched his cheek gently as I leant my head fully against him happily. My wet cheeks drying fast as I opened my eyes and looked into the mirror.

I loved the view.

Raph directly behind me, tall as I leant into his chest, my back pressing firmly onto his plastron. My head resting against it too. My face tilted up towards his; just slightly. My hand resting on his handsome, angular, naked face. His hands were by his side, balled up into fists like he was refraining from touching me.

I took it like a hint and removed my own hand from him. He instantly grabbed my hand and put it back on his cheek, his own eyes closing happily as he leant into it with the deepest sigh of the night.

My entire body coiled in butterflies and happiness at the gesture.

I smiled instinctively as he held me there- his other hand now on my waist keeping me stood firmly touching his cheek facing the mirror.

I happily obliged.

Then he made a noise, a deep growing purr that came from deep within his chest. I could feel him vibrating deep in his abdomen, and his lips quivered as a purr dropped out of him gently.

He seemed to notice the noise he made, as he looked up widely from his closed position. His eyes began staring at me in the mirror as I tried my best to hide my grin.

"Are you…are you _purring_?" I asked with the smallest laugh on my breath. He froze as I spun round slowly to look at him with a tilt of my head. His eyes fell wide.

I giggled.

He seemed to recompose himself as he cleared his throat to try and stop it. When it wouldn't subside he took a step backwards from me and stood up tall, clearing his throat again.

I laughed at his failed attempts.

He was about to open his mouth and shut me down, and now I knew him well enough to know what he was going to say. He clicked once and tutted in his turtle language.

"I Don't care what it is; just know I love it" I told him with the shake of my head letting my smile loose. "Its adorable" he groaned and lifted his head away from me, he moved back and rubbed his face from the forehead down.

I enjoyed the fact he hadn't felt the need to put his mask back on. I loved him without it on; it felt intimate, personal. I smiled, letting loose a happy sigh as he watched me back, his buttery eyes now filled with a spark. I smiled happily with a relaxed breath, feeling at peace again; just stood there watching him, as he huffed.

"T'ink am a freak _now_?" he added with a huff, his face back to drawn and sulking like usual. I rolled my eyes at him finding it all silly, but I could tell he was being serious. It was the way his eyes watched me; deeply with a nervous edge to them.

I thought about his words, the way he looked as I softened my own expression.

" _Never_ " I commented with a serious look crossing my eyes. He watched my expression as I watched him back.

He watched me darkly with those deep eyes. I stared at him longingly.

"What?" the word fell out of him like it had slipped out by accident. I smiled to him, looking down to the floor- then back up at him. He seemed a few inches closer in that short moment. His face completely serious as I took him in.

"You…you suit your mask off" I told him quietly with a shrug. "not that you don't suit it on" I told him, leaning up from my poised position.

"Red is most definitely your colour" I breathed thinking it over. I imagined him in orange or purple or blue…but couldn't.

He was always my Raphael in Red.

I swallowed down the bubbling term.

"I musta gave you too much whisky" he commented darkly. I laughed at him gently.

" _Please_ I can handle my drink" I told him. He looked up brighter than before, taking in my words as I wanted him too.

We stayed quiet for another comfortable moment as I turned back to the mirror, I ran a hand through my curls as I yawned openly once, then my eyes fell on my scar for a millisecond as I tried to push down my disgust at it.

"I don't see it" he mumbled as I tilted my head at him. "Yer scar- ya don't see it…its jus' coz you touch' it; ya know its dere" he told me.

I knew he meant well, but I still found my self scowling. I looked back into the mirror; back at the tiny slice that cut my nose edge and bumped out. My eyebrows crossed.

"You got not'in to worry ova" he said again offering a soft odd compliment.

"Its not that" I told him looking down to the sink taps. Even there I could still see my scowling face.

Raph stayed quiet, waiting for me like I would with him; giving me the time I needed before I spoke.

"It's just…its never going away- it reminds me that neither is my baggage"

"baggage?" Raph asked confused.

"You know- _problems_ " I huffed out my fingers trailing lazily by the sink. I looked up to his face. He was watching me curious and concerned. "Come on Raph- you're not gonna tell me you don't find me a little odd" I breezed out to him. His face grew wide in shock.

"Sweetheart- ya seen me?" he asked in a quipped sarcastic tone. I lazily punched his arm in a playful way, but my smile that came with it faltered immediately.

"Just- start of the year, I could handle being the girl with the fat ass or the girl with a mean kick or the girl who's a little odd and aloof…" I told him deeply. "but now…in the space of eight months; I'm all those things and I'm also the girl who can't take care of her self… the girl who gets beaten up and abused by drunken men…" I trailed off. "Its just…I cant see myself like that…and I don't _ever_ want to…I'm not _weak,_ really I'm not…but now-"

He cut me off. His finger was on my lips as he hovered behind me again. His body closer; tighter. His hands on me firmly- sure of them selves.

"Listen ta me" he growled angrily but somehow in a low quiet voice. My teeth gritted together slamming shut.

"I can't even begin ta tell ya, 'ow wrong ya are- dose bozos in dat alleyway- I shoulda skinned dem, an' as fer ya dad an' any otha creeps- no ones _eva_ layin' a hand on ya again" he told me, almost growling the words out to me as his angry hot eyes burned into mine through the reflection.

"and ya t'ink one little scar makes ya ugly; damn girl, look at cha- I mean look" he said, his finger jabbed at the mirror. I looked like he asked me too- his words sharp. My eyes met my own in the reflection for a moment as I looked over my face.

"Yer… _yer fucking_ beautiful; natural pretty; da best kind o' beautiful"

His hands then found my hips with a surge of confidence that seem to over come him.

"and _weak?"_ he hissed out the word like it was a bad taste in his mouth _. "Y_ er moved from jersey to here on ya own, able to go to school, 'old down a job , not freak out on us and still find time to put up wid my shit… seriously girl; an' on top of dat _yer_ fuckin' gorgeous, wid ya eyes an ya hair and dat _ass_ …I mean-" his finger thrust again to the mirror in his anger fuelled rant.

"yer the perfect woman…perfect…"

he seemed to calm down instantly after the words trailed away from him, his chest settling down as he breathed in again, inhaling my scent as his hands gripped at my hips tightly, as if trying to will me to believe his words. His eyes were no longer looking at me, but back down to my legs, then painfully slowly up to my ass and up over my shoulders.

I swallowed as my stomach pooled and I became are of how naked I truly was in front of him.

His tongue flicked out for a millisecond, tasting the bottom of his lip.

How I wanted to spin in his arms and do that.

My whole body set alight. My desire burned again as my skin turned red.

I wanted to tell him the same things too; how I admired him, how I loved his body, how I found him the perfect guy for me…

His eyes sharply met mine back in the mirror, and he froze solid, almost like a deer caught in headlights as a minute passed between us in our frozen states. His words travelled back over him in a panicked state.

I swallowed; it wasn't the first time he had called me pretty- but it was the first real time he had properly said it to me- not speaking to himself or mumbling. And it was the first time I had caught him looking at me like that, his eyes wandering over my breasts and legs…

I burned for him, and he continued to watch me.

My heart leapt.

 _Could it be even possible that he liked me like that too?_

Raph cleared his throat and took a step back, just slightly, relieving the pressure of his body pressing into mine. His hands removed and now in fists.

"Ya gonna make some _human_ guy _real_ happy one day" he mumbled and I felt my shoulders drop.

As well as my heart. Right down into my stomach.

 _No…not possible after all…_

Then I reminded my self that I had promised not to do this.

No heart break.

I couldn't.

I swallowed.

"Thanks" I mumbled to the floor as I turned back around and sighed.

All I wanted was for his hands to be back on me, holding me tightly and securely. But I let it go- he had touched me enough for one day.

"You should go ta bed- its late" his voice was gruff as he spun on his heels; his eyes seemed heavy and down as he watched the floor, mumbling as he walked.

"W-wait" I called unsure why I had or what had made me call for him.

He spun as he looked back to me; the angst in his eyes almost painful. I fiddled with my fingers.

"Y-you have one too" I commented, swallowing the dryness in my throat. "A scar I mean; here" I touched my face my thumb running across my lips trying to show him what I meant as I tilted my head. I was fishing for more time with him, anything- just to let this moment clear between us.

"what happened?" I breathed. Within a second he was turned back around. His eyes watched me gently, then he moved forward again, coming to stand back in front of me.

"Nicked it with my sai" he told me.

I crossed my eyebrows in confusion.

"your sai?"

He copied my expression.

"My weapons girl, _where ya been_?" he asked a little lighter.

"Oh your forks?!" I asked with my eyes now wider "is that what you call them?" I asked and he grumbled.

I smiled again; everything returning to normal.

"You been t'inkin I carry giant forks?" he asked with a grumble. He went to reach for them, but his nakedness revealed that he had taken the strap off containing them as he looked around his body and then sulked.

"Well…you do have a giant appetite…"

I smuggled a small laugh out my eyes alive with humour. He looked to me with pouted lips and a raised eyebrow.

My insides swirled again; I pushed it down.

"C'mon" he said grabbing my wrist as he pulled me forward quickly. I tried my best to stop my giggling as he pulled me down a long corridor and through an archway.

My darker side began wondering if he was going to take me to the dark area of his lair and have his way with me.

I bit my lip.

"Stay 'ere" he told me as he marched off round another corner. I looked up.

This area of his place was taller; the ceilings longer. In front of me- a weapons rack stood, containing swords and throwing knives I had only ever seen in movies and comic books. There was a raised grate in front of me- it was wide and circular, looking like a raised stage, to my right a work out area and station.

No wonder Raph was so buff.

Then, in the quickest flash I had ever seen, a silver thing sprang past my eyes.

My breath left my body as a silver weapon flew past me and into the middle of a target that rested against the side wall.

It hit centre red.

I gasped wildly as I spun to see who had thrown it, my whole body convulsing for breath as I met the smug face of Raphael. He leant raggedly against the archway with his arms folded smugly.

"Forks huh?" he said beamingly, coming alive as he watched me.

I grabbed at my chest trying to contain my heart. Adrenaline flared threw me as I pulled my eyebrows together tightly.

He chuckled and it set me off, my adrenaline rush burned. He walked over to me in a saunter as I tried to recompose my self; my whole body shaken by the shock of its speed and power.

" _Jerk!"_ I called, my hand found his chest; my fist ready to pound down into his plastron as he tried to catch my fists. He laughed openly as I struggled against him.

He pulled my arms behind my back and cut me off from attacking him as his arms pinned my arms down in between him.

My back against his chest again, his arms across my middle restricting my movements.

"Calm down doll, C'mon it was pretty funny"

"You're such an ass!" I breathed to him as my heart thumped openly in my chest.

He chuckled into my shoulder, his body bent over mine containing me.

His arms tight on me, his breath in my ear, his manly scent circling me…

This was getting harder and harder to ignore or deny.

"I wouldna hit ya"

"Now you're an overconfident pompus ass too" I said quipped as he chuckled behind me, his body moving mine as he jumbled to place me in front of him, exactly like we were in the mirror. His body moved as he pulled another 'Sai' as they were now known, from behind him and held it out in front of him- in front of me. My expression cleared; he had never let me see them so close before, he held it out to me waiting as his grip on my arms loosened.

I looked to the silver weapon, never really noticing it before it was up close.

It was sharp and poised, the handle tied in red leather strings and patches. With my arms loose I lifted one of them over Raph's giant hold on me, as I loosed up and raised my fingers to it.

My fingers trailed down the side of the weapon feeling its sharp edge, along its point and down to the handle. Raph stayed frozen still allowing me to do so.

"D'ere traditionally not as sharp as I keep 'em" he spoke so softly to me, like you would to a new baby, but his voice was so wise and gentle. I could only nod once at his words.

"I 'ave two; one fer purpose, otha for defence, although most of the time I use them together" he told me. My fingers touched the end of it pricking my end finger lightly as to not cause any break in the skin.

I bit my lip, questions burning at me.

"Have you ever…how many people have you…" the words trailed away from me, but he knew what I was asking. His eyes watched me carefully, not showing emotion as he spoke to me softly.

"Only bad guys; I would never 'urt anyone innocent without a purpose" he told me. "a would never 'urt you". He added urgently

I looked back over my shoulder to him; he was still close, his face just over my shoulder as he watched me carefully.

"I know" I reassured him. Subconsciously, my fingers which touched the Sai now lay on the back of his hand feeling the muscles there underneath his green skin. "I know"

He watched my fingers move as he remained quiet.

"How long have you trained?" I asked again, feeding the burning questions on my lips.

"All my life; masta taught us"

"while he raised you?"

"yeh…I take it April told you da story." He added with a nod. His amber eyes watching patiently.

"Well she did leave out your father, but I got the gist"

Raph looked away for a second and nodded with pursed lips. He seemed to be thinking something over as I watched the side of his face.

My fingers still on his hand.

"What made you choose Sai?" I questioned him, dragging his face back to mine. He looked at me with wide eyes.

"I never chose 'em; I got given 'em"

"oh?" I quipped waiting for him to continue. He looked a little unsure as he opened his mouth to speak, but his voice wavered.

"a-a was never good wid…long hold weapons…bein' up close was betta for me; I took to it easier" he tumbled out as I nodded.

"Yeah, you don't strike me as a distant fighter" I breathed out in a hummed laugh. He watched me with guarded eyes but I couldn't really tell what he was thinking over in his head.

He kept just as close, which was a positive sign.

But then it seemed to hit me in a wave; the long hold weapons his brother used, the edge to his voice when he spoke about them, when he spoke about Leo days back…

He was a little deflated that his brother could use them…a little raw about it all. I licked my top lip and tilted my head looking back at the weapon in his hand.

"I don't think I could use these; they're way more intricate than a sword or a bat" I told him. He seemed to brighten at my response.

"A sword you gotta swing, these are far more dangerous; more intimate, more technical…" I trailed off calling from experience.

Behind me I could feel Raph's beak gently nudge the back of my head once; I knew I wasn't supposed to feel it, but I could, and I grinned to myself at his action.

It was almost an instinctive animal 'thank you'.

My heart hammered away again.

"Ya really can swing a bat though" he added. "dose guys today; Jeeze girl, ya really _can_ take care of ya self" he commented loosely, impressed almost as I smiled to the floor.

"Thanks, its Casey's fault" I blew to him and he chuckled.

"Yeah- although you could do with a little string up on your technique; ya were a little off" Raph told me, now slightly moving away.

I turned round spinning on my heels and flew at him; my hair fanned out dramatically.

"Excuse me" I jabbed at him as he spun back in the same manor, a clear winning smile on his face. Clearly engaging the reaction, he wanted.

I cursed at myself playing into his hands.

"Well...just that ya left hook was a little out, and ya reaction time was slow" he shrugged still wearing that winning grin.

My eyes narrowed at him sharply.

"Did they not drop to the floor?"

"yeh, but- you coulda got them down in half da time if ya weren't bein all flouncy with ya bat"

"Boy if I had my bat right now…" I challenged him walking up to him my hand square on his plastron.

He chuckled.

"C'mon Doll; look at me- ya really think ya could take me down?" he jarred back, spiking my competitive flaw.

I stood up tall and lifted my head.

"Maybe not in one to one combat…but with a bat…and just you- no forks… I'd stand a fair chance" I told him with a shrug. He laughed at my eagerness as I narrowed my eyes back at him.

"Maybe in a few years" he said to me, like parent would a child. I pouted, he laughed freely; a beautiful gruff sound.

My eyes looked back around the room taking in the design of it.

"What is this place?" I asked quietly.

"It's the dojo"

I turned back at him as he stood his arms crossed watching me as I wandered lazily around.

"Wow" I mumbled out lowly as I inspected it. The tall walls were filled with weapons and intricate design work of wires and art work covered most of what must have been bare concrete.

"How did you guys even come up with this?" I asked as I turned back to look at him in awe. He shrugged loosely, looking to where I was.

"Donnie got good with electrics, Mikey got good at painting"

"and Leonardo?" I pressed tilting my head. He seemed to get annoyed by that quickly; insanely quick.

"Why ya interested?"

"I'm not, just wondering why you left him out?" I pressed. He tutted at me and kicked the floor roughly.

"Leo didn't do much to decorate the dojo's all; 'e was too busy learnin' to be a mini splinta" he quipped wanting to end the subject. I laughed once, humourlessly.

"What makes you say that?" I pressed. He shrugged quickly, his eyes avoiding me.

"'e jus can be a bit of a asshole; likes ta boss people about is all"

"Because he's in charge right?" I pressed. "I watched the way you all were today in combat…he seemed to be the one the most in charge of things…the decision maker, even when we arrived here…you looked to him first…to check if it was okay…" I trailed off.

Raph's face got harder and harder as more words spilled out of me. I didn't understand it. I shrugged and smiled up shaking my head.

"a shouldn' of 'ad too- yer were stayin' no matta what" he grumbled, I waved him off.

"just because he's the leader doesn't make him evil Raph" I commented to him with the tilt of my head. His face met mine scowling.

"Ya don't know 'im personally" he grumbled out.

"Well I'm sure he's not evil" I told him firmly rolling my eyes.

"He seemed _... swee_ t to me- once everything settled, really nice and accommodating" I said looking to the floor shrugging.

"Yeah yeah; good ol' Leo bein' a sweetheart to a pretty girl" he rolled his eyes, his features annoyed.

"what's wrong with that?" I shrugged. I hoped it might lift him back into a conversation; but it didn't, it only pressed his angry features further together.

"Not'in " he shrugged fire underneath his eyes. His one word answers and sarcasm were getting really dry. "Why ya so interested?"

 _"_ _Again_ ; I'm not- just you have a real… _distaste_ is all"

"Yeah well we all can't be Mr _charming_ can we?" he rolled his eyes.

"Everyone loves a charmer Raph…maybe you should try it" I pressed with a light giggle; I half expected him to take it as a joke, but I should have known better.

Raph's eyes met mine angrily. His face crushed up and scowling.

I knew I had hit a soft spot. And I instantly regretted it.

"Well _maybe_ I shoulda left ya an' 'e could a rescued ya instead!" he answered me back in a childish way, his voice raising as he spoke.

His words hurt, my eyes twitching at the sides as he seemed to re-think his last sentence. I gritted my teeth.

Maybe I was just a hindrance after all.

Either way; I was pissed at him. He seemed to realise what he had said, his face worried and all traces of anger subsided in less than a few seconds. I tried not to care; his words hit home for me.

"Goodnight **_Raphael_** " I said sharply and clearly. I spun on my feet to walk away as I clenched my fists tightly to my side.

"Doll, wait- Bon I-" he seemed to trip over his own feet as he rushed to me.

He was quicker than I was and when I turned down the side of a smaller corridor, he was in front of me; his body blocking my way.

I crossed my arms and tilted my head looking up at him annoyed.

"'m sorry, sorry!" he breathed out to me. His face pleading with me to accept. "I didn't mean ta-"

"Sorry for what? wishing you you have let those guys _raped_ me? Or wishing your brother should be the one stood here instead of you?" I pushed. He stayed quiet his eyes confused and pained.

"A didn't mean _dat_ -"

"didn't mean what? to _Insult_ me or _rescue_ me?" I pressed annoyed.

"Bonnie- shit, I would _never_ say that!"

"You just **_did Raph!"_**

 ** _"_** ** _A' would never think that!"_** he growled "You're da best _thing I eva had"_

His voice dropped an octave in his frustrations.

He stayed quiet for a minute, his face hardened, his eyes heavy and down. I knew he couldn't word his apology; I knew he was trying as he paced in front of me. I knew he would hate himself for acting like a child.

I sighed, knowing _I_ needed to take control of the situation. I rubbed my eyes and down along my nose.

"listen; were both, _really tired_ …its been the longest day maybe we should just start again when were more awake "

Raph nodded to the floor, his face stubborn but pouting. His eyes were new; they were still angry, still frustrated as I looked to him waiting for him to answer me as silences shifted between us.

"if dat's what ya want" he mumbled lowly. I barked out a huff; his eyes returned to me.

"What I want is for you to never say stuff like _that…"_ I mumbled looking down at my feet. I crossed my arms and brushed my hair back behind my ears.

His hand brought my chin back up to look at his face.

"You know I didn' mean it _dat_ way" he said softly as I sighed.

Of course I did; I knew he was just angry.

I wasn't an idiot.

"I know Raph…I know- its alright" I told him swallowing the dry lump in my throat. His fingers brushed my chin gently then he moved away quickly, crossing his arms with a sigh.

"I jus… _ain't_ used ta sharin'…" he breathed as I blew out an exaggerated huff.

"Jeeze- what am I a fucking _sandwich_?" I pressed again. I breathed out a sigh as I looked to him annoyed.

"Raph, I only wanted to know more about your brother…I wasn't gonna go _throw_ my self on him!" I answered him strongly, shaking my head at his pettiness. My eyebrows pulled down into a line; his quick temper was something I was used to, but it had never been so directed before, so quick to jump to conclusions.

"You got a real issue with that" I carried on, although this time my voice was softer; I seemed to calm down under his pleading stare.

I waited for him to speak as he crossed his arms tighter, his teeth gritted. He seemed annoyed, upset as took a step closer towards him.

"I-I jus'…I ain't the most impressive outta the four of us…I didn't want ya to see all o' dem an' realise jus' 'ow…'ow useless _I_ was…" he mumbled the sentence so quickly as he avoided my gaze. "ya even said it ya sel…Leo's a charmer… _I_ ain't"

And inside my heart broke a little for him.

My hand found his cheek as I brought his face back round to mine.

"Your never useless Raph; _ever,_ not to me- _never_ to me" I told him as the edge of his eyes seemed to harden inwards a little.

"so I'm a little curious about your brothers- sue me!" I told him strongly. "But if you think I'm going to trade you for someone else, you're an idiot- you're my _best friend_ …and if you even think about turning away from me…I'll beat you down with my baseball bat and lock you in my apartment" I laughed, his face brightened like the sunset; warm and glowing down at me, his smirk still in place but there was that look again- as if I was the best thing he had ever seen. I grinned.

"now who's da stalker?" he added quietly almost in a mumble. I smiled down to the floor.

"Next thing you know I'll be following you over the rooftops chasing your tail" I snickered; his eyes fell wide.

"Like hell ya will!" he growled as I laughed at his sharpness. I smiled to him loosening him up, he took a moment to shake his head and at, until he looked back up and he smiled back to me; all was settled and calm again.

"So- ya wanna go to bed?" he asked with a shrug.

 _Only if you come with me…_

I bit my lip down hard stopping the words escaping as I swallowed and looked over his shoulder.

My mind far too curious and far too awake.

"Why don't you give me a tour?" I asked tilting my head to the side with a cheeky grin. His face fell back into its usual smirk.

How I loved that smirk.

* * *

 **Ohhh I Do love where this story is going! Leave a review- let me know what you thinks gonna happen next! keep reading guys- you're awesome!**

 **Owl x**


	11. Next day, Play fights

**Hi Guys!**

 **Sorry to keep you waiting- I was away for the week last week but I also got alot of writing done!**

 **Thanks for keeping reading- You're all awesome!**

 **Okay here we go! Enjoy!**

 **Owl x**

* * *

We walked for what seemed like forever; down corridors to the others rooms, and into living areas and training areas.

We chatted as we went; playfully knocking each other or laughing to ourselves.

"this place is _huge_ Raph; you'd pay a lot for a place this size up top" I told him looking to the ceiling Michelangelo had painted and decorated.

"shame about the location right?" he commented as he leant against another door way.

I laughed.

"not all people like the sunlight Raph; get yourself a dark loving buyer- you're set" I winked to him and he rolled his eyes.

"You have to admit where you live is pretty cool; better than my crappy one bed apartment" I commented with a shrug.

"I like your place; easy access to tha fridge" he shrugged and I playfully pushed him.

"Whats this room?" I asked with a tilt of my head;

"dis is masta's room. Usually 'es in 'ere meditatin' likes tha space away from us"

"from four overgrown boys? I can imagine"

"'e as a little library up the left" he pointed as I followed his point to his finger and back again. "an' a garden down tha' tunnel"

"clever" I nodded.

"''e an' fearless spend hours in 'ere sometimes; a hell of a lot more than we do" he grumbled out

"fearless? Please tell me there's no one else I need to meet" I commented lowly as he chuckled.

"Nah it's a nickname; Leo's 'fearless'" he corrected with a nod. I stayed quiet for a minute wondering bout his whole relationship with his older sibling; whether they were really as close as he made out.

"Do you not like your brother?" I asked openly, no emotion or hesitation behind my question.

Raph looked up to me, eyes wide and alarmed.

"I love my bro; hell _I'd die for 'im_ ; _for all of dem_ " he told me shocked I had asked. I blew a breath out to him annoyed.

"and yet you call him _every time_ you talk about him"

"Its jus…a' t'ing we do….I guess I ain't noticed before" he shrugged as I eyed him up again.

"You nearly tore my head off through there because I asked about his hobbies Raph" I said flatly.

He tutted twice.

"I guess I'm a little raw around 'im…I always was second best wid Leo…its 'ard when it's _you_ meetin' 'im… an' den ya call him charming and sweet and…well- I ain't exactly as _well spoken_ " he breathed to me his hand rubbing the back of his head. My face fell to his softly; my eyes apologetic as I watched him and he watched me.

"It's jus' dat…I like ' _me an' you_ '…I didn't want ya to think that-"

I cut him off, my fingers on his lips as I stood in front of him. This was new; I had no ideas what pressed my body to move so close to his like that. But I ignored my silly blush- he needed to shut up and he needed to listen to me desperately.

"You are _never_ second best with me" I shook my head slowly from side to side, a small smile on my face. "I'm sorry I made you feel like that"

"like what? Da jealous idiot I am?"

"you may be jealous Raph…but you're never an idiot…" I told him with a pointed look. "and you have _nothing_ to be jealous over; I… kinda like 'me and you' too" I added as I leant back away touching his cheek as I went.

Again the glazed look over fell his face as he smiled to me in a small way.

My heart and cheeks burned. My hands stayed on his as I wrapped my arm around his and carried on walking down a deep tunnel, pulling him with me as he continued to watch me.

There was that hope again; inside my chest.

Letting me believe that 'this' between us was changing.

And whatever it was, where ever it was going- I didn't have any promises or power to want to stop it.

"So _anyway_ " I said clearing my throat changing the subject, "Mikey's good at painting, Donnie's good at electrics, Leo's good at…decision making" I said choosing my words carefully. He seemed to appreciate that.

"And you got good at?" I questioned one of my eyebrows raised.

"ya wearin' it" he said with a throw of his hand. I looked down to the red soft jersey. My fingers falling over the intricate cotton.

"You _made_ this?" I asked with wide eyes. He chuckled.

"Naww I _made_ it bigger, altered it; masta taught me how to knit, 'n sew…it comes in 'andy in winter when were cold, an' if any of da guys need stitches" he told me with a shrug, not phased by telling him his hobbies.

I think I fell even more in love with him in that minute.

My mouth fell open into a small grin, my eyes watched him lovingly as I felt the words burn on my lips.

"You knit?" the smile on my face kept getting bigger and bigger.

My fingers played with the collar of the shirt lovingly.

"You know you gotta make me something now right?" I told him with a nod. He rolled his eyes.

"Anything; you can pick- my birthdays getting close" I said with a wiggle of my shoulders. He smiled and looked to the floor.

"whatever ya want sweetheart" he breathed.

I didn't trust myself to reply. All I kept thinking about was how much more in love I could be with this guy; how much I wanted to throw my self at him, how much I couldn't stop thinking about him.

But his words burned in my head.

I would make a _human_ guy happy…

Not a _turtle_ happy…

I swallowed and crossed my arms. Luckily a yawn filled my bubbling lips as I raised my shoulders up and down sighing out my tiredness.

"now ya really need to sleep" he added pointedly as I smiled through my yawning mouth.

"that or coffee" I said stretching my back and rubbing my hand through my hair. I arched my back and yawned; Raph watched me lazily, his eyes on my figure. My cheeks blushed as I grinned to him softly. Raph's expression kept his eyes straight and his face forward to me as I turned back to him.

"Raphael?"

My head span around, my hair flying everywhere as I made eye contact with his rat father.

My face poised as I took him in.

"Good morning my son, Miss" he nodded as my cheeks went bright red. I swallowed.

"G-good morning sir"

"It is unlike you to be awake so sharp Raphael" he commented with a small smile, his knowing grin flicked between my self and his son.

I pulled at the jersey I was wearing making sure my body was fully covered.

"Couldn't get much sleep masta" he told him in an unsure voice rubbing his neck.

"Well, why don't you escort your lovely lady friend here back to bed, and then join me for an early warm up"

Raph nodded calmly; for the first time I had ever seen as his father looked to me again, his eyes gentle and kind as he nodded to me.

"May I recommend another few hours of sleep Miss Jones. Raphael- you should know better than to keep a lady restless and tired"

"Sorry Masta; c'mon Bonnie" he said as his hand went to the small of my back, my cheeks blushed as I smiled to his dad.

The rat turned gracefully and sauntered away from the tunnel, a hum on his lips. I tilted my head as I watched him go; how happy he had been. My eyes flicked onto a large clock on the nearby wall.

5am.

Shit; had we been awake that long?

Raph pushed the small of my back gently as he led me away down back to where Mikey was still sleeping upside down; his legs in a slightly different position; his mouth still gaping open, his tongue hanging loose.

"Does the blood not rush to his head?" I asked.

"Nah; 'es brainless anyways" he shrugged as I muffled a small giggle.

I turned to him standing outside his curtained door way.

"Well; you got training now I guess- sorry for keeping you up all night" I told him in a quietened whisper of a voice.

"Nahh, it was on me- I shoulda put ya to bed ages ago" he told me as I raised an eyebrow.

" _Put_ me to bed? What am I? _five_?"

"jus…been a busy day right? Shoulda let ya rest up"

" _was_ a busy day Raph; today's a new day- and its already started out so great" I told him with love seeping into my eyes. He grinned to me as I smiled back; the air around us changing our friendship again.

and then yawned.

"Alright I'm going" I said my hands up in defeat. "Goodnight Raph"

" _Mornin'_ Doll" he corrected as he nodded towards me and then turned away. I sighed as I watched him go, my eyes trailing over his shell and down his body.

I thought about him working out; I thought about how his muscles would move and stretch…

I thought about my self being captured in them.

My stomach dropped like I had driven over a small hill at a fast speed.

I openly ogled him in plain sight- part of me knowing it was part tiredness, the other not caring any more.

He had done the same to me; surely it was allowed now.

But Raph stopped, his body still as he turned twisting his face back to mine.

"What?" he commented lightly. I bit my lip, my cheeks red.

"I seen ya lookin' " he added gruffly, his face confused as I swallowed.

"Well…its just that…" I licked my lips and in the best Brooklyn accent I could manage, I mimicked him:

"wid dat _ass_ …I mean- ya got not'in ta worry about"

His face went red as I snickered to him with a wink. He grinned to me and shook his head.

"Go ta sleep _weirdo_ " he called as I giggled and turned, pulling the little curtain back around with me.

I dived onto the top bunk and surrounded myself in Raph's bed sheets, my smile huge, the giddiness in my body pulsing as I lay there, a smile set in place, as Raph's scent once again, drifted me out and off to sleep…

 _"_ _pssssst! Bonnieeee!" a voice was whispering to me, not from too far away, but it was close, here in my black abyss._

 _"_ _Bonnie!" there it was again, another voice; louder and-_

"Bonnie!"

My eyes flew open as I blinked taking in my surroundings. For a minute I lay still, feeling the soft material between my fingers on the sheets. I stretched feeling my body responding to my natural wakening habits.

"Bonnie!" the voice I recognised as Michelangelo's as I sat up in the bunk bed I was in and yawned again loudly.

"Michelangelo?" I asked, my voice slurring still not fully functional.

"Can I come in dudette? I gotta grab something real quick."

I rubbed my eyes and stretched my back as I shook my self into functioning.

"Sure-come on in" I told him licking my dry lips from my sleeping haze.

He bounced into the room, the curtained area allowing light to follow behind him.

"Gooooood _morning_!" he grinned to me as I smiled to him drunk with tiredness.

"What time is it?" I asked my hands running through my curls again.

"Just gone 8- sorry I had to wake you; but I didn't wanna just burst in here and freak you out if you were sleeping" he told me as he started to search through the bottom draw of his chest.

He pulled things out and onto the floor lazily as he searched for something, humming to himself.

I watched him, myself still waking up to the world as I continued to fluff at my hair and stretch.

"Got it!" he called, grabbing a mask from out the draw and what I recognised as a 'nun-chuck' along with it. I tilted my head at him as I watched him- his face relived and pleased. "thought id lost it" he mumbled.

"are they your weapons Mikey?" I asked innocently, he turned to look at me with bright eyes and a charming smile.

"Yeah dudette- you're looking at New York's finest nun chuck practitioner" he thrust a thumb at himself with an over exaggerated smile.

"I'll remember that the next time I'm in trouble" I told him with a nod. He laughed and put it on his belt. He looked to the cracked mirror and tied his mask in place.

"I got in trouble for forgetting it at training this morning- So I thought I better find it before I get in trouble again" he told me quickly as he turned back to look at me.

"Anyway, I'm gonna start breakfast; how does pancakes sound, beautiful?"

I smiled and took in a deep breath.

"You know how to treat a lady Michelangelo" I told him and he laughed happily to himself.

"Mike?" another voice called, this time it was distinctively Raph's. Mikey looked to the door and then to me with a wink.

"I'm in here. Just showing Bonnie my concealed weapon" he winked to me.

 _"_ _WHAT?!"_

The curtain nearly tore off the wall as Raph's wide eyes clamped onto me and his brother. The curtain pole fell, hitting Raph on the way down as he hissed and cursed under his breath. His body now twisting in the mess of curtains to see what Mikey and I were doing. He wiggled so fast to see out of the curtained mess, that only his wide eyes were visual peeping out of the top.

I laughed openly; hysterically, falling back into the pillows on the bed as I touched my stomach to contain my laughter.

Raph's expression dropped from alert to flat as he grumbled and growled at his little brother.

"You betta run Mike" he growled low as Mikey shrieked once mischievously and barrelled over the top of the curtain-trapped terrapin.

I jumped down out of bed and turned to stand in front of him, trying my best to stop the grumbles and groans coming out of him.

"Here" I told him, grabbing one end of the material and unravelling it as he shrugged out of it and looked down to me.

"Well, I officially know how to trap you now" I told him with another giggle. He crossed his arms and pouted.

I placed my hand on his bicep as usual, hoping to calm him down and bring him out of his sulk.

It worked. His shoulders dropped and the pout left his mouth as it levelled out evenly.

My fingers could feel the muscle underneath his arm coil and flex as he moved slightly. The heat from him seemed to be warmer than usual. My hand ran down his arm adoringly to his forearm; it pulsed accordingly under my fingers, spiralling my core to wake up.

"Wow…" my voice murmured suggestively. I could feel a small grin forcefully coming to the surface on my face.

" _Damn,_ you had a good work out session this morning" I commented loosely an edge in my voice that shouldn't have been there, my mouth spilling the words out before my brain could engage what I was really saying.

Then I looked up to his eyes as he looked down on me; a huge 'cat got cream' grin coated his face.

I blushed and went red.

"Ignore me- I'm still tired" I told him as I spun on my heels searching for my clothes on the floor.

"Yeah but ya jus-"

"Shut up Raph-"

"I mean ya can feel my muscles again if ya like-"

"Raph!" I whined as he laughed again, his smile infectious.

"Jus' ya seem ta like it when-"

 _"_ _RAPHAEL!"_

He chuckled, his shoulders bouncing up and down as I turned to look at him in an annoying humoured way.

He seemed more playful than usual, but I guessed the work out released an extra set of endorphins.

I found my clothes and trudged passed him he followed me as I went, close by watching me with a spark in his eyes.

I stood outside the empty bathroom door as I turned to look to him expectantly. He stayed there- still watching me smugly.

"You gonna come in and watch me dress or…" I said shaking my head.

His face seemed distant for a moment, his eyes glazing over me until he blinked and shook his head.

"oh- oh shit umm, I'll err… I'll-" he spun on his heels and headed away from the door frame again.

I laughed at him and yawned again, already regretting the fact I had had less than 3 hours sleep after a hectic day…

I dressed hurriedly and ran my fingers through my hair as I splashed water on my body, feeling better for doing so.

I eyed my reflection as I folded up Raph's jersey and took in my tired but bright eyes.

I sighed; it wasn't like I could change how I looked now. I licked at my dry lips and took in a deep breath.

Time for breakfast with his brothers. I could certainly handle that.

As I headed out the bathroom I expected Raph to be waiting, looking smug and leaning against something or other as I exited.

However, he was no where to be found, and my disappointment was obvious on my face.

I placed his jersey down on the sofa and headed out round back to the little kitchen area, which was down the smallest tunnel way if I remembered correctly.

Luckily, I was correct as I breathed a sigh of relief as I found my cousin and his girlfriend sat round a table, chatting to Leonardo while Michelangelo stood humming and moving his hips to a small radio of music.

I smiled as April looked up to me with a grin and waved me over.

"Morning Bonnie!" She called happily as I walked a little faster on my heels. Leo moved a chair out for me politely as I thanked him as I sat down beside him, my back to the railings as April watched me gleefully.

"Did you sleep alright?" Leo asked kindly, taking a sip out of his coffee mug. I tried to hide my giggle as I looked to him.

"perfectly thank you" I told him. He nodded as Casey sighed, pulling my attention to him as I watched him with raised eyes.

"So we all cool now?" he added with a mumble. I smiled to him and reached over to touch his shoulder.

"Are you _'cool'_ now?" I asked with a pointed face. He nodded sure of himself as April touched his hand in thanks.

"Are you cool with Raphael now?" I added. Another sure nod.

I smiled openly.

"Have you apologised to Raphael?" I added crossing my arms, leaning back into my chair.

Casey's eyes met mine sharp.

"No- and I'm not gonna" he muffled like a child. I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head.

"You can't be angry at him Casey; he didn't do anything wrong"

Casey grumbled to me to which April rolled her eyes.

"He's still a little rough about the whole 'keeping it behind his back' problem; it's more Raph than you" April told me patting Casey like he was a lost puppy.

"That and tiredness- did you sleep last night?" I asked him like a baby. April and Leo smirked amused as I smoothed my cousins shoulder. I looked up to April with an amused expression.

"He'll be okay in a few days" I told her as Casey looked up.

"I am _here_ you know" he breathed as we giggled.

"Ama go hit a few with the hockey stick" He grumbled again as I watched him go; his dark eyes telling me his mood more than his moaning attitude could ever do.

"someone _definitely_ did _not_ sleep well" I spoke and April giggled and looked to me with a sparkling humour.

"I couldn't get him to settle; he was marching up and down wondering if he should go sleep in Mike and Raph's room with you to make sure you were okay" she laughed. I looked over to Leo kindly.

"Forgive my cousin; he doesn't realise when he's over worrying- sorry if he caused any offence- I think its pretty obvious I was in the safest place here"

"Please- none at all, he's looking out for you- its what families do"

April stood brushing her self down.

"I'm going to freshen up; if _he_ wonders where I'm gone say I won't miss his famous breakfast" she said jerking her head towards a head-phoned Michelangelo.

She walked away as I leant back in my chair, eyeing up a now dancing Mikey who moved to himself singing away to the loud beats in his ears. I found myself watching him with a laugh on my lips.

"Is he always like that?" I asked Leo as he nodded to me.

"We don't really notice it anymore; he's a ball of…energy and soda" he shrugged as I smiled at his description.

"Wow that would make Raph a ball of sarcasm and beer" I said honestly as Leo chuckled. I eyed up the blue banded turtle, he watched his brother was a calmness. I chewed the inside of my cheek needing to talk to him about his other brother.

The one I loved dearly.

I swallowed and looked to him again.

"I hope I'm not speaking out of term" I told Leo in a low voice as his eyes widened and he turned to look at me.

"But…Raph's been a real…help to me" I said with a soft shrug. "Please try to be easy on him about the whole not telling you guys…he's…he's a _really_ good person"

Leo eyed me up, his face pulled into an expression that was trying to work me out. his face kept a small smile in place- but it was his eyes; scanning my face expression as I turned red.

Could he see right through me?

"I know. And Raph knows he did wrong in keeping you a secret- but I'm glad he made a good friend…you can handle him…I could see it yesterday…" he told me as I eyed him almost pleadingly.

"Don't worry for him; He's had his punishment- it's all cleared now" he told me with a nod. " _and_ I hope you don't mind _me_ speaking out of term" he told me as he sipped his coffee again. I tilted my head listening to him dearly, my eyes just as confused as his were moments ago.

"Raph may be big and he may be tough…but he has a lot of… _'inside'_ thoughts going on…I hope you wont mind me asking you not to hurt him"

My mouth fell open and my eyes wide. I had to admit deep down I was a little insulted; I loved his brother more than I could dare say. I would protect him and care for him everyday if I could.

But then it hit me before the anger could surface.

Leo didn't realise I was in love with his brother. And he certainly didn't know I would easily die for him- we had only just met after all.

"I know you don't know me very well- and I know you're listening to a stranger's word but-" I licked my top lip and sighed.

"I promise you, _on my life_ I would _never_ hurt your brother…I…I _care_ more for him than you will ever know. Probably more than he will ever know" I enclosed letting my cheeks turn a baby pink. Leo sipped again and nodded to me.

"I believe you" he told me firmly as I smiled. I felt a little laugh spilling out to the surface as Leo's face twisted into confusion again. I shook my head at him and he tilted his head.

"You're a little different than I had you in my mind" I told him softly. He laughed.

"That's not hard to do when Raph is describing me".

"No its…its not from his words…he's never been overly… _descriptive_ about you...its more how he _compares_ himself to you…" I told him honestly with a nod to myself.

"He thinks so little of himself sometimes…He's started to talk to me about things, about how he feels- I think it helps him" I said in a lost look, my eyes saddened for my red turtle. Blue kept watching me, the same 'working out' expression as he blinked quickly as if not trying to miss my expression.

"He's just so sensitive underneath that tough shell…it's- refreshing actually" I said loosing myself in my thoughts as Raph's grin came to surface in my mind. I smiled at the soft memory.

Then my eyes met his brothers and I stared at him wide.

I gritted my teeth as he smirked to me; it looked ever so fragrantly like Raph's- only calmer, smaller.

"Like I said- be _careful_ with him"

I blushed as I turned away, Mikey spun round singing a high note as I scowled my face scrunching up at his voice until he opened his eyes and smiled.

"OH HEY BEAUTIFUL!" he yelled as I narrowed my eyes at the volume. He seemed to notice and unplugged his ears.

"Sorry! I likes my music" he said with a shrug. "Breakfast's ready; _where's Angelcakes_?!" Mikey pouted looking across the room.

I assumed he meant April.

"Don't worry- she said to tell you she wouldn't miss breakfast" I told him reassuringly as he pouted.

"She ain't tha only one" the gruff voice came from behind me as I turned my head at the accent. I felt my self instantly warm and smile.

Raph smirked to me as he jumped over the railing and spun down into the chair beside me. He grabbed a cup from the centre of the table and poured a coffee.

"Ya sleep well Doll?" he asked smoothly, wanting to keep out late night wanderings quiet I imagined. His throat gulped it down with a soft moan as I watched him do so with a slow nod of my head.

"Perfect; Mikey's bed was super comfy" I said with the most enthusiasm I could muster up.

Raph's eyes went wide as he looked to me sharply. I laughed and bumped into him with my shoulder playfully.

"you're so easy"

He relaxed visually and put his cup down. His eyes flicked down to me as he smiled softly to me, his eyes flicking to the table and back.

"Oh shit ya ain't got anythin'!" he mumbled as I tried to wave him off but he turned anyway grabbing a cup and putting it down in front of me.

A plate then appeared and as if perfectly timed- so did the others. The purple clad Donatello came out last; scratching his head as he held a box in his hands.

He jumped across as everyone greeted him.

We ate quietly as morning conversations passed; I listened to April talking about her stock at the shop, Casey seemed to have cheered up with the help of good food and began speaking to Leo and Raph with some force of topic.

Donatello turned towards me eventually.

"So- I was up late last night and I finally finished this!" he said with an exclamation of happiness.

"It's a shell cell- April and Casey have one, I just thought it may be handy for you to have, you know in case of any danger- you press this button" he said flicking the little green shell shaped phone over "and it automatically sends an alert; I've paired it with ours, but it will reach Raph first since he's your first call…oh and our numbers are in there too- I've also synced all your old contacts as well- so feel free to use it whenever!" he grinned as he placed the little device in my hands. I flipped it over brightly in awe.

"oh my god, this is amazing!"

"its also free for calls and texts, and the wifi is really good! I thought the free aspect might be good considering you're a student at the minute" he shrugged and I wanted to turn to hug him; instead I placed my hand on his shoulder and squeezed tightly.

"I can't thank you enough! You did this all in one night?!" I pushed with wide eyes, he grinned happily, and began showing me the other features on the phone.

"Yeah, _was_ that made in one-night Don?" Leo questioned suspiciously. Donnie pushed the glasses back up onto his face as he looked wide eyed.

"Ummm…..maybe a-a little earlier…"

"Don-"

"Alright, alright- I knew they were friends a month back… I thought she might need one as well since this was going to happen eventually" he rolled his eyes as Leo's face dropped.

"Are we _all_ keeping secrets _now?!_ Were supposed to be _secret free!_ It was our pact!" he said with the point of his hand. Donnie rubbed his neck nervously.

"It was Raph's secret! Besides you know he would have killed me if I told!"

"You guys will be the death of me _! I swear_!" Leo pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head.

I looked to him apologetically gritting my teeth. Raph moved beside me catching my attention.

"Yeah well…we gotta keep ya on ya toes fearless- otha wise you'd be soft an' start gettin' lazy" he said as I shook my head.

"So what's the range on this thing?" I asked turning Donnie's attention back to me and the conversation off the subject of secrecy.

We chatted for a little longer after the plates were cleared.

"I can wash up if you want?" I offered but Raph pushed me back down into my seat with one hand. I folded my arms in a grumble as Leo turned to the sink.

"I need to check your shell Raph, lets see your terrible patch up job" Donnie said moving around the back of my chair to Raph's shell. He eyed the bandaged area up with surprised eyes.

"Hey not bad! This actually looks decent for once."

I eyed up my red clad terrapin, who eyed me back with a warmth. I could feel my smile forming on my face.

"Yeah well…what can a say- musta knew what a was doin'" He shrugged as I lifted my coffee cup and smiled into the drink.

"Well…good job- keep it up" he praised as Raph looked to me.

"Believe me- a will"

I grinned, loving this new airy flirtation that was travelling over us.

Then my new shell phone made a shaky noise, a small beep echoed as I looked down to it as if it were something alien.

Donnie chuckled.

"It's a text message- sorry, you can update it all later- I'll help" he told me kindly as I raised my eyebrows up in understanding.

I flipped the phone over in my hand and the bright screen lit up.

 _Hey, you sick or something? The lecture starts in ten!_

I gasped.

"Oh shit! I was supposed to be in a lecture today." I told them as I swallowed and typed back my excuse.

 _Yes- flu, couple of days and I'll be back._

"Raph could escort you top-side if you need to go" Leo offered as I looked up with wide eyes.

"No-no, its alright. I've told my friend I'm sick…its only a short seminar anyway- I wouldn't worry" I said with a shrug. Casey grumbled.

"You were brought here to go to _school_ Bon" he reminded me as I rolled my eyes at him.

"Its one lecture Casey- chill out" I told him with a narrowed face. He sat up in his chair and huffed. "Aw come on- remember when we used to bunk off behind the back building when we were juniors?" I snickered. His eyes lit up with amusement and sparkled in excitement.

"We used to be so good at hiding from Mr Dawson" he chuckled.

"Remember the sports cupboard?" I giggled, my mind flew back to the mental image of our tiny selves hiding behind gym equipment, stumbling upon new gear.

"Oh yeah! You got your first bat that day" he said proudly- like a father would do its child. I chuckled.

"I still have it! Brought it to New York with me!" I told him. He laughed freely too- and it warmed me to see him so active. April and I shared a look- it was clear she was feeling the same as I was.

"I had to upgrade my hockey stick- got too tall for the old one" he told me with a grin. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah yeah…bet you still can't hold up to my bat skills cousin" I winked, poking the edge of his shoulder. Beside me I could feel Raph's eyes shifting down onto me.

Casey smirked.

"Name the time and the pace Bon- I'll take you down"

Then an excited Michelangelo piped up, bouncing beside me.

"Haven't we got a bat down here somewhere?" he asked; his eyes glimmered tauntingly.

"Oh yeah…. right down tha left…" Raph added with a smirk.

I turned back to Casey with a smug bright smile. He looked back at me in challenge.

"YOU TWO SHOULD PLAY TAKE DOWN!" Mikey grinned with an open mouth. I crossed my eyebrows confused.

"what's take down?" I asked.

"It's a soft contact game- you gotta knock the other one to the floor five times, no hard hitting, but you can use weapons as technical aid" Donnie told us pushing his glasses back up in an explanation.

I raised my body and turned to Casey with a grin. He watched me with a wicked look.

"What do you say cousin? Wanna see how well you fare against me now?" he said with a sly grin. I copied him straight back.

"Oh Casey, I always got time to kick your ass"

Then he was moving with a chuckle and we all followed. I walked with a purpose, adrenaline coursing through my veins as we reached the rounded area that stood raised upon a little. A small weapons wrack stood near by.

Raph crossed over to a weapons rack my eyes had skimmed over, his face excited and animated.

His hands found a plain wooden bat as he twirled it once in his hand, showing off before he threw it to me. He threw with a strong purpose; his fast action trying to gage my fast reaction.

I caught it strongly, reacting on instinct.

"Go for 'is ankle's- 'e aint strong dere" Raph breathed to me as I giggled at him and touched his shoulder just like I had done so before.

"Thanks stalker"

Casey grabbed his Hockey stick as the others came towards us, circling the little area. I stretched my legs and wiggling from side to side on the spot.

"Okay- best out of five" Donnie reminded us as I moved my shoulders.

"You gonna dance or fight?" Casey taunted as I smirked at him.

"I could do both and still take you down"

"C'mon then cousin, lets see how ya move now"

Then he ran at me twisting his stick. I skidded down, waiting for him to hit high as I fumbled under his legs and twisted round to move behind him. I jabbed my bat into the back of his shoulder blade; just tauntingly as he stumbled and fell on his ass.

A cheer erupted and laughter filled the air.

"I think that's one" I taunted sticking my tongue out through my teeth.

Casey eyed me up; his face getting narrow as he concentrated hard.

"Oh you're going down" he breathed getting back up as we clashed again. I grinned at him and he grinned back.

We moved around each other hitting and jabbing softly at our game, flicking each other to the floor over and over in our tactical sport. I clashed my bat into his hockey stick. Around us the group seemed to move as cheers kept lifting.

An hour in and we were tied- 2 each as we circled each other again.

"winner takes next one!" Leonardo called, as whooping and clapping hit our ears, I tried to fade it out as a tired Casey wipe the sweat off his face. I breathed deeply, feeling exhaustion coming over me.

He ran at me and I jumped- he went low, skidding as I turned my back and hit down with my bat; it clashed again on his hockey stick.

Then he grabbed my leg and I wobbled. I looked up to Raph with wide eyes. He pointed down to Casey's crouching feet.

I took my bat and swung it under his legs knocking him over as he clattered to the floor.

"WE HAVE A WINNER!" Mikey cheered as the cheering got louder and laughing carried out.

All five of them came onto the ring area; I leant my hand out to Casey who grabbed it and breathed deeply.

"Dat's my girl" Raph breathed lowly; my ears catching the words as I lifted my face to see him His face the brightest I had ever seen it as my insides swooned at his comment.

Casey instantly grabbed my attention back, as I swallowed down the butterflies.

"Beginners luck!" he called as I laughed at him. "You've gotten quicker"

"You've gotten stronger" I told him feeling my shoulder with a squeeze. He laughed.

"Next time- Its mine; now that I know your secret moves" he said and the others rolled their eyes at him.

A loud beep came from his pocket.

Breathlessly he answered.

"Hey sarg." He breathed wistfully. " _Oh shit!"_ he breathed hanging up and running out the tunnel.

"Forgot- I got work! April you coming?!" he called as he ran, she rolled her eyes-

"No- I'm gonna do some work with Don"

"Love you!" he called as we could hear him climbing up a set of stairs.

"C''mon April- I got a bunch of tech stuff to show you" he said as they marched off together, like little best friends.

Both Donnie and April headed left down a corridor, leaving me with the rest of the brothers.

"That was AWESOME beautiful!" Mikey cheered as I laughed. "Where did you learn to do that?"

"Believe it or not- Casey" I giggled as I flipped the bat in my hand again. "Comes in handy when you need it"

"Yeah and for back up you got the big cuddly teddy bear" He added, punching Raph faintly. My eyes met the red turtle, my smile wide and bright; the rush of my own endorphins spiral through me. Raph tutted at Mikey who opened his mouth to change his comment.

"If er…big teddy bears could kill you with a move of their hand" He grinned up at Mikey as I giggled to him.

"C'mon Mikey- we gotta re-panel the bathroom" Leo called. He was already down the left corridor. Mikey groaned. I was taken aback by how silently Leo had moved.

I guess it was something I would need to get used to.

"Aww man, why me?!" he ran after his older brother as they turned away from the corridor, leaving me and Raph alone.

He was looming next to me, his chest brushing my arm as I turned to look up at him. A glimmer in his eyes.

"What?" I pressed, he moved back with crossed arms and smirked to the ground.

"Not'in, not'in..jus' ya comment from las' night" he said with a happy shrug. "Ya got a bat…an' I got time..." he grinned. He opened his arms up to me like he was going for a hug. I grinned hugely.

I spun the bat in my hand.

"Really? Now?" I said "you know it's a total unfair advantage- I'm basically all worn out" I said as he chuckled.

"What? Ya nervous?" he breathed in a low voice. A voice which rocked my core and spun my stomach. My cheeks burned.

I bit my lip as I looked up to him. My eyes met his as he twirled one of his Sai's in his hand, three times over before shoving it into his side strap, repeating the action with his other hand. He opened his free palms.

So he was going weapon-less…

"I'll make this easy for ya"

I laughed breathlessly.

"Okay! fine- one take down…Just one- and-" I said pointing my finger to his mask. I reached up to his face as he watched me, he bent down a little bit as I pulled his mask down tight over his eyes securely.

"Ya know I can still see a little" he taunted. I laughed and swatted him.

"Every little helps Raph"

I moved away from him as he stood central…I tried my best to eye him up as he stood there. He stood tall, the mask covering his eyes and his hands by his side.

He was lazily waiting and it made me narrow my eyes.

"Ya gonna eye me up or attack me sweetheart?" he taunted as I growled a little.

I tried to keep my feet light as I kept my bat heavy in my hand; I had no idea what I was doing, or how I was going to take _him_ down.

I inwardly cursed remembering my comments from last night; sometimes my mouth ran away with me.

I moved as silently as I could, now standing directly behind him. I held my breath. Waiting a few minutes until the air settled.

When he twitched his head, I moved- I sprinted at him, my bat out to the side. But it was no use- he moved way to fast and spun, grabbing my arm and side as I was lifted up and rolled underneath.

A hand found the back of my head to soften the blow as I hit the floor, and his huge body, moved fluidly as he pushed me underneath him.

I lay flat my hands above my head as his large body pinned me; his hand under the back of my head, the other on my stomach.

I blew out the breath I was holding as he shook his mask up off his eyes. He struggled as I laughed and moved to push it up over his eyes.

He grinning winning face glinted at me with a brightness.

"Thought ya could 'stand a chance'" he mimicked as I blew out a huff through my smile.

"Oh shut up- it was always gonna end up like this- you're like 600 pounds of muscle!" I laughed, laying my hands back down above my head.

He made no attempt to move as he kept me still, I used his hand like a pillow and he kept a soft hold on my stomach. His knees supporting him as he bent over me.

"Wouldn't matta if a was only fifty pounds wid no muscle; I'd still catch ya" he grinned to me as a low hum started in the back of his throat.

"You knew I was coming! If I took you by surprise maybe-" I added loosely, my voice dragging out the words in a hum. My flirtatious tone made him laugh.

"ya'd still end up with me on top of ya" he breathed deeply, his voice breezing over me deeply as it hit all my nerves. His playfulness clear and breezy as he watched me intricately, allowing my self confidence to grow as I watched him with a new expression clear on my face.

"Oh Raph…maybe that was my plan all along" I taunted. He watched me; holding me close as his hand tightened on my stomach, his fingers behind my head started to caress my hair as I lay there, breathing softly underneath him.

I could have stayed there for years and not cared.

The warmth of his body flushed against mine. His knees locked down either side of my hips keeping me there.

"Oh yeah?" he pressed, his voice even softer, sultrier. I felt my core spasm at it as my cheeks heated up. My heart hammered again as my eyes became hooded underneath his stare. His breathing came in lengthy hums out at me, that cute little purr still on the tip of his tongue.

"Ya like bein' under me huh?" he breathed lower again as my insides flopped around, my mouth fell open slightly from my smile as my breathing matched his…I could taste his breath, his scent on my tongue…he was so _fucking close_.

"More like _you_ like being on top of _me_ " I wisped back, my voice barely making out a whisper as we both started to breather heavier and heavier. The air came at us thick and hot. The silence of the room only filled with out whispering breaths and words. His body moved just a little, still caressing me as my eyes watched him and I lay there with my hands high above my head letting him view my body. His eyes flicked down in the way I wanted them too, eyeing my chest and my shoulders and neck.

Everything seemed to change so fast. Our friendship, that used to be a beer and TV show, was now this flirty new found friendship where he was irresistible, and I was laying underneath him like a buffet table; not even caring how shameless I was being.

"What can a say? The views _amazin'_ from up 'ere" he told me in a hum as my core rocked with pleasure and a burning desire for him. His hand smoothed over my stomach and onto my waist as my hooded eyes became even more love drunk by him.

I knew he could sense it; he could probably smell my scent too- the longing, the burning, the want…

"it's not so bad from down here either" I told him, my hands coming to find his biceps as I trailed my fingers over them, examining his muscles, feeling him flex underneath my touch. I stifled down my flirtatious giggle.

"Show off" I whispered as he flexed his arms again. My eyes fell back on his.

"Put it down to ma ' _good workout on a morning'_ " he carried on as I rolled my eyes at him, rolling my head away to the side for a minute with a smirk as he used one of his large fingers on the back of my head to push me back to look at him full on in the face.

Another deep breath echoed out as I tried to keep up with his detailed attention on me; my body finding it harder and harder not to just jump forward, press my lips to his and let him ravage me in a way I knew he would do…

He had that feel about him; that he would be a strong aggressive lover…

And fuck, did I want that right now…

"Okay- _muscles._ You can stop mocking me now" I told him

"Well ya jus' make it so easy" he added. My heart thundered and stammered loudly in my chest as I lay there enjoying his hold on me.

"oh really?" I breathed, my hands glided up his biceps to his shoulders, my fingers working over his skin in intricate little circles…

It was only then when I felt his shell, a bright idea seemed to spring to my mind.

Raph looked lost as he watched me, his eyes not leaving my own; his soft smirking grin kept on me as he breathed gently, watching my face as I moved and touched his body this way.

"Yer so fuckin-"

But his words cut off, as my fingers tapped on his shell in the same way I had done so last night, only this time, I pushed them as low as I could. His eyes went wide and he blushed as he started to shuffle backwards into my ticklish grip. His purr grew louder and high pitched as he fell back on his knees; only I went with him as his hands were holding me, he pulled me with him as we rolled backwards.

I squealed slightly as he pulled me, my body flopping forward from lying down to sitting up alarmingly.

My hands tensed as he fell back onto his shell and now I was on top of him.

I grinned.

"Ha!" I called to him, my hands now pinning down on his biceps one either side as if I was holding him down. My knees either side of his hips this time.

My curls fell over my face as he looked up at me wide eyed with shock plastered throughout his face.

"Pinned ya!" I commented, laughing freely as he looked to me with an 'oh really?' expression. "Told you I could do it by surprise" I said leaning up on top of his chest, still keeping my hands on his arms which lay out to the side as if he was really stuck. I grinned to him. Raph lowered his purring into a playful growl.

"Yeah yeah, Dirty tricks" he commented gruffly as I laughed at him.

"Say's you; Mr Flex" I said pointedly as he smirked again.

Oh how I loved that smirk…

"I already had ya at that point…I fight fair" he added loosely as I applied more pressure onto his arms.

"Yeah because _seducing_ me is really fair when you've _won_ the fight" I commented with a roll of my eyes. Then my words seemed to hit me in a flash as my eyes went wide and my cheeks burned.

Raph watched me, with raised eyebrows as I stumbled.

"So I seduced ya?" His grin getting wider at the word.

"I-I m-mean…"

"So I can seduce ya huh? Dat's new" he spoke with such clear amused confidence that rocketed through me, his arms behind his head crossed as I sat on top of him. My face red and my cheeks bright.

"No! I didn't say that!"

"'Ey you're da one all flustered 'ere sweetheart" he added with a wink of his eye. My girlish side seemed to melt entirely at it.

"Ra-aph!" I scolded swatting his chest. As he laughed freely at me; clearly enjoying my squirming on him.

"Chill out princess…like ya said- maybe it was my plan ta get ya on top _alllllll_ along" he breathed with another wink. Again my body betrayed me as the tiniest mumble of a moan slipped out of me, totally unheard by Raph, but still causing my face to turn bright red and a new growl to echo out of me.

I grabbed his mask and pulled it down over his eyes tight, shielding his view of me. I stood almost too quickly and walked away not facing him. His delight at my embarrassment came out in chuckles as my face burned.

I growled out to him.

He laughed and pulled his mask back up over his eyes.

"'Ey C'mon; am jus' messin' wid ya Doll" he breathed as I crossed my arms and spun back round to face him. He sat up, one knee bent the other extended as he watched me, his giant arms resting on the bent knee as he grinned up to me warningly.

 _Why was he so attractive all of a sudden?! Why did my ovaries feel the need to explode right now?_

"Whatever Raph; like you weren't the slightest bit effected by my charms- otherwise I couldn't have pinned you now could I?" I asked smugly crossing my arms under my chest. I turned to walk away but in an instant he was in front of me.

The speed at which he moved took my breath away as I gasped out at the shock. He was still playful, the look in his eyes wild and warm.

"So- ya admit _you_ were tryin' ta secude _me_ den"

My mouth fell open at his confidence and cockiness. I slammed it shut as he smirked that shit eating grin again. I started to walk off down a tunnel.

"I'm going to see April! You're being… _infuriating_!" My hands raised above my head as I flung my self away from him, his chuckle still sat in the air as I walked away.

"Am 'ere whenever ya want me sweetheart- ya jus' gotta ask" he called, his voice mocking and playful. I growled back to him, sticking my middle finger up behind me as I walked away.

I knew it was just said to wind me up- I knew he was getting a kick out of it, enjoying my squirming but on some level…

I had to wonder if he really meant it.

I ended up heading back to his little room for five minutes to recompose my self. I sat on Mikey's bed and put my head in my hands.

I loved him; it was so obvious and easy now- I loved everything about him. His home, his family, his life, his muscles, his smile…

And him becoming the irresistible confident flirt didn't help. It spiralled further questions at me.

Where had he learned to flirt like that? Had there been someone to flirt with him like that before? Had he ever been with someone like that? Had he ever _loved_ someone like that?

The way he looked at me today…the way he held me and spoke about me…

Could he feel the same way as I did? Could he want the same things as me?

Hope seemed to rise within me. With a deep breath, I went to look in the cracked mirror that Mikey had looked in this morning. My hair was now completely dishevelled, my eyes still love drunk and dewy and my face red.

How could he find _me_ attractive?

It must have all just been a joke; a complete joke- that must have just been his sense of humour…he must have just enjoyed watching the ugly girl make a fool out of her self.

My emotions raw as I eyed up my pained expression. Then the tiredness of the day came over me- I had only slept for a few hours. I soothed my self as I rubbed down my arm gently, swallowing the lump in my throat.

A tear slid down my face.

 _How did I get into this mess?_

I moved to dip my side down onto Mikey's bed, keeping my legs planted on the floor, but the top of my body rested as I leaned against his pillow.

I hoped he wouldn't mind; not that he seemed to mind anyway.

I breathed deeply, my head filled with Raph again as I gritted my teeth hard.

Confusion seeping in deeply, the way he looked at me…the way he touched me…the way he spoke to me….

Surely not all of it was just playful banter?

I felt it; I seen it in his eyes…

I know I did…

And then sleep came over me, lulling me in again.

* * *

 **Ahh! Okay guys so just letting you know I will be updating quite quickly over the next few weeks as I have wrote so much hahah!**

 **Keep Reviewing!- Im always interested in seeing where you think this is going- (Obviously we all know where it is going!) hehe but Im always interested to see the angle you guys take on my work. Hope you are enjoying this as much as I am writing it!**

 **Owl x**


	12. Master Splinter, Leo

**Hey guys here the next one for you!**

 **Hope you're all still enjoying the story! Let me know what you think, where you think its going!**

 **I was meant to update earlier but i never got round to doing so!**

 **Anyway, if you're all really good and review I might get a new chapter up in like a days time...**

 **We Will See!**

 **Love you all!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Owl x**

* * *

 **Raph's POV**

Her hair bounced as she stomped away from me. My smile the biggest it had ever been. I crossed my arms, my heart pounding like thunder as I watched her body disappear...

The body that had been pinned underneath me, and then on top…

My tail curled.

Fuck… _Fuuuck_

I loved her; there was no denying it, no getting away from it- I. Loved. Her. Every little inch. Every speckle of her personality and frame.

And she had touched me like she wanted me, she had looked at me through those gorgeous eyes…

 _She lay underneath me, not even trying to push her self away from me as her long arms extended above her head, her curls fell fanned out beneath her as the shimmer in her eyes captured me, her lashes long and fluttering._

 _Her hands moved up my arms, creating Goosebumps with every little touch as they ghosted up over my shoulders._

 _She was perfect, and touching me like she wanted me._

 _Did she want me? Was that what_ _ **this**_ _was?_

 _She could have me; fuck she could take all of me and do whatever the fuck she wanted._

 _"Yer so fuckin-"_

 _Beautiful was meant to come out._

 _I didn'_ _t_ _care, I couldn'_ _t_ _stop myself from saying it; I just wanted to let her know. I wanted to tell her everything she was again- just like last night._

 _But then a spasm hit my shell as I froze; her fingers tapping over the sensitive spots as I flung backwards away from the spasm._

 _She giggled as she landed on top of me and her hands pushed into my arms as if she had taken me down._

 _I let her do it; she grinned hugely, beautifully._

 _"Pinned ya!"_

I sighed out loud, heavily, lovingly in the most pathetic way as I pictured her underneath me again, lying there- almost like she wanted me to take her…

Oh how I would take her.

In every way, in any way she wanted…

It was getting harder to stop thinking about her that way, especially after last night when she came to see me in my jersey wearing nothing else but her little panties…

I had swiped more than my fair share of glances at her legs and ass last night; how long they were, how round and plump her ass was…

And then after training with Master for an hour and the others, I had locked my self in the bathroom, picturing her exactly the way she was last night…

Jersey falling off her shoulder, panties a little on show, hair dishevelled.

 _Her ass in the air…her legs around my shell…my name on her lips in a broken moan just like it was that night…_

"Raphael?"

I spun round, my eyes wide as I froze.

Master was standing arms crossed in front of me. My face slammed to a halt; my thoughts with it.

"Masta Splinta" I commented openly waiting for him to speak to me. He eyed me up carefully, in a new way as I cleared my throat and focused on innocent things; anything.

"I meant to speak to you this morning after our training, but you had fled so quickly my son"

My face fell red. I remained still, almost hoping like a T-rex, he wouldn't see me if I was still. He chuckled.

"You must relax- come- walk with me" he said as he motioned me down a small corridor and back to his room. He waited at the end as I seemed to wake up from my frozen spot and hurried after him, my cheeks red, tail curled out again in a sharp and unpleasant manor.

We entered his little area; it was always neat- an arm chair in the corner, a coffee table in the centre, pillows around it- books stacked neatly by his hammock.

Master pointed to the pillow motioning me again.

Jeeze, must have been something important to let me in fearless's spot.

I knelt down in front of the little table he kept as he turned to sit opposite like usual- this only really happened on certain occasions, or special events,

Or if I was to be punished for doing something wrong.

 _Had I done something wrong?_

"So…Tell me about Miss Jones Raphael…" he asked, feeling his whisker as he looked away from me.

"W-what?" I asked. Master chuckled and looked back to my face.

"Miss Jones- Bonnie; I know nothing of the girl and she has been in your life…little over 3 months now, is that correct?" he asked with a nod.

"Urgh…comin' up 4" I shrugged keeping my face open.

He reshuffled on the pillow.

"Tell me about her" he pressed, his placed his hands in his lap and watched me with his big onyx eyes. I looked away- a nervous mess.

What could I say? What did he want to know? _Why_ did he want to know?

Master cleared his throat, grabbing my attention again.

I swallowed and started to think.

"She's err…well she's same age as us…a-an' Casey's her cousin…'e errr helped move 'er from Jersey to 'ere"

Master laughed stopping my rambling.

"I am already aware. Tell me the less obvious my son"

I nodded obediently and swallowed the lump I didn't even know was rising in my throat.

"Well..."

I licked my lips and sighed, knowing what I needed to say.

"she's smart… _real_ smart- doin' good at college…and erm…she-she wants to be like 'er cousin…she doesn't say it like dat, but I know it's what she wants...ta help people" I nodded as Master nodded too, in encouragement.

Then the words spilled out of me like liquid.

"She's _good_ …like the kindest; She was out walkin' the otha day…and a little kid fell- she helped 'im and was real nice to 'im. She's good wid the otha's too; you know with Leo an' dat- no screamin'"

I nodded agreeing with my words. "…an-and… _she's so funny,_ like not Mikey funny- tha good kind, she's quick and sarcastic; _smart funny_ "

I looked down to the table in front my words getting hotter as my mind became full of Bonnie again.

"She makes me laugh _so hard_ sometimes...like I ain't ever laughed like dat before…and she's _feisty_ \- can really move wid a bat...I never seen a girl do that before…"

I licked my lip as I tilted my head to the side. My heart began thumping wildly again.

"And she's…she's…. _beautiful_...you know" I looked up to him, my hands held out as if trying to demonstrate an expressionless phrase.

"Like not just pretty; like _beautiful pretty_ … she got dese _eyes_ dat…Sometimes I can't even t'ink about anyt'in when she looks at me, _they trap me_ …and _her hair_ … like in dose loose curls?- fuck there so soft… _she's soft_ too…but in _the best way_ …and it ain't just 'er face or-or 'er body…"

I stood up, my hands rubbing down my head as I began to pace.

"She's beautiful inside too yano…like April is; good, _pure_ …but but she's different ta Ap…Like Ap's a sista…Bonnie's…" I trailed off. I didn't know how to word it. I didn't know if I should.

" _She jus'…_ listens ta me… calms me down when am wound up…sits wid me like I was jus' a normal guy; she ain't ever once made me feel anyt'in but… _good_ and-and… _she trusts me_! Like...ta touch 'er… _not in dat way_ but…jus' ta touch her…and she touches my arm and its like…"

I breathed out a wild gasp as I rolled my eyes around remembering the way it felt to have her touch my skin, my biceps…my muscles…

I felt my lips curling into a smile as I spoke.

"She sounds wonderful Raphael" Master commented in a quiet tone as I flicked my gaze back up. I had all but forgotten he was in the room.

I froze again.

He chuckled.

"Sit with me" he told me as I kept my mouth glued shut and moved to sit down on the pillow again. He chuckled for the second time.

"Is Miss Jones aware of your feelings towards her?"

I narrowed my eyes confused.

"feelin's?"

"You are in love Raphael"

oh. That.

I could only look away from him embarrassed and nod in agreeance.

"Is Bonnie aware?"

"Don't t'ink so…at least I 'ope not…"

"You do not think she would return your feelings?"

I looked back up at him and snorted gently.

"Look at me masta; what woulda girl like _dat_ , want with a _freak_ like me?"

Master looked up with a stern face.

"As your father Raphael, you must know I believe you are as strong and kind as your anger is obvious- and _any_ women would be lucky to have you in their life"

I looked to him flatly with a shuffling expression. When I didn't change he stood and turned to his TV; he picked up a remote that displayed the dojo on the screen.

"Donatello set this up for emergencies; in case of a breach in the lair…however- I have found it most helpful keeping my eye on you four…especially during training." He added.

I paled.

I had done a lot of stupid things in that dojo over the years- I would need to remember to punch Donnie later for that.

He flicked over the remote and scanned through the video till Bonnie and I were on the screen. We were sat on our own together at the dining table, her hand on my arm- her eyes locked on mine…

Out differences in stature flew out at me, hitting me hard.

Then Master paused the video when Bonnie turned to look at me. Her face; clear on the camera as she smiled to me gently. Her eyes just as beautiful and besotted as normal.

"Look at the way she looks at you Raphael…Does she look at Casey like that?"

I watched him carefully, and slowly shook my head, thinking it over.

He was right she didn't.

"April?"

Another shake.

She didn't.

"Your brothers?"

I growled at the thought her her sitting with Leonardo this morning, her eyes watching him as they conversed in a hidden conversation.

Master scanned the video forward, night took over and then morning broke and suddenly all characters were sat around the table again...Bonnie walked in and sat down by Leo; they chatted- but he was right…

The glimmer wasn't there; not like when she looked at me…

 _Not at all like she looked at me…_

Could she _feel_ this? She was certainly comfortable with flirting with me now, but maybe it was just playful. Maybe she was just feeling sorry for the ugly turtle who wouldn't ever be properly loved…

 _But those eyes…that look…_

I looked down to the floor. Master turned the TV off blank.

"Raphael; wherever your relationship goes with Miss Jones…I wanted you to be aware that I am here for you; whenever you need to talk" he told me, his hand finding my shoulder as I stayed sitting. He came over to stand near me looking down on me like he used to when we were little.

"Masta…it ain't going anywhere…were jus' friends..."

"For now, my son" he added with a squeeze of my shoulder. A small smirk on his face like he knew something I didn't. "For now"

He headed to walk out of the room as I watched him go-so many questions on my tongue.

"Wait!" I called as Master turned expectantly.

"yer mean…yer…yer would be.. _.okay_ \- if…if somehow-"

"You have my absolute blessing Raphael; and you are right" he added.

"She _is_ a beautiful soul" he said with a nod and turned down the corridor. "Well matched to you my son…"

I felt a grin etch onto my face. For some reason my hopes lifted at the idea of his blessing. I grinned stupidly as the idea of being a couple with Bonnie swam in my head.

It had done for months, but this time it was lighter, happier, free- it was _allowed_.

Not that I cared all that much if it was allowed to begin with, but to have _Masters_ blessing- meant more than I could say.

But it all depended on her side.

And then I felt like I was being hit with her baseball bat; right to my face.

It all depended if she loved me back. I turned standing and switched the TV back on, I grabbed the remote and hurried back to the image of Me and Bonnie again. I kept the tape running, watching her as she spoke to me…

Her eyes glimmering….

 _Only for me…_

My fingers reached out to the screen as I ran my finger tip down her face; she was perfect.

I swallowed, grumbling and switched the TV off. I shook my thoughts trying to slam the hope down in my head. I huffed out once and shook my head.

"Nah…not'in's as simple as dat" I grumbled out to myself, before I threw the remote down and turned to head to the gym.

I needed to punch something; all of this was getting way too confusing.

§

The hours seemed to float by as my hands met the punching bag. The breath fell out of my lungs the more I pushed and I felt the nervous itch loosen.

I sat down on the bench and wiped the sweat from my forehead, pulling my mask off with it. I blew out a breath of air as I sighed.

"Wow- only got a few rounds in you?" I looked up as Leo's voice entered the room. I rolled my eyes at him as I breathed slowly.

"What do you want?"

"Just come to see how things were" he shrugged. I growled.

"She's wid Ap; wanted ta talk to 'er" I shrugged going to place my weights back on the shelf. Leo nodded mutely with pursed lips. I did my best to brush him off; I could feel a big brother talk coming on- and I wasn't in the mood to deal with his shit on top of my own.

"So…Master said he spoke to you earlier today" he added as I turned to him with a shrug.

"So?- 'e speaks ta us _everyday_ "

"About you and Bonnie" he added pointedly, I rolled my eyes.

"What? Can Masta not ask me questions now?" I pushed.

"Hey, I'm just trying to talk to you about it" he raised his hands in defence. I raised my eyebrows up at him.

"Why? Why do _you_ need to talk to me about anyt'ing?"

"because I'm responsible for where you go Raph- and if you're going out on a night to see her, we need to know about it"

"who? you and Masta? What ya playin' mom an' dad now?" I snorted. Leo sighed and looked to the ceiling, it only pushed my buttons further.

"Listen; Raph- I'm trying to help here-"

" _Maybe I don't need your help!"_

"You needed it the other night! "

"Ya bringin' dat up _again?!"_ I growled.

"It's a priority _Raph_!" he pushed, his face stern and sly; how I hated that expression. I gritted my teeth feeling my anger pool.

"God; I don't know why I even bother sometimes! I came in here to be _supportive_ … to say that...whatever is going on with you two…if you need time together…we can work something out..."

I felt the snap coming. I felt the pull getting tighter.

"I don't need a schedule... _neither does she!"_

" _I'm not saying that!_ I'm just saying-"

 _"WELL, maybe its best if ya_ _ **all butt out**_ _\- fuck off!" I_ growled. "I mean… _shit_ , why ya all so convinced were gonna end up…like _dat_ …look at me- _look at 'er_ , dere's ya answer. Now leave it!"

"Raph we _both_ know its not like that-"

"NO _WE_ DON'T KNOW ANYTHING LEO!" I bellowed, my voice loud and irritated. I huffed as I felt my fists curl up again, the tingling coming back with energy and adrenaline.

"Why are ya pushin' it so much?! Why masta? Why _you?!"_

 _"Because it's the best you've been in a long time!"_

I felt my shoulders drop, my stance dropped at his surprise sentence. My teeth stopped gritting so hard as my face softened.

"Master noticed it in the first month… You've been _on time_ …you've been focused- you're the quickest you've ever been…you're obedient- talking to you is more pleasant…fuck, you're smarter, better… _happier…"_

My whole body seemed to dissolve the rage that had taken over as I watched him- he used his hand to point and explain his reasoning's. And for once I listened; knowing every word coming out of his mouth was right, and for once- accepting those words.

"And its because of her isn't it?" he added with a sigh. I stayed silent, not wanting to give him the benefit of doubt.

"I see the way she looks at you" he added his eyes trying to grab my expression. I looked down and clamped my jaw again. So Leo noticed it too. And Master.

Huh.

 _Could she really?_

"She's kind about you too- when I talked to her this morning, she was so… _loving_ towards you, and _protective_ " he added as my face looked up at him. He held a hard expression- his eyes glazed over as his lips pressed tight.

"She's _good_ for you Raphael" he added with a nod. I rolled his eyes.

"Now ya praisin' me fer meetin' a girl…Jeeze- few months back ya'd a murdered me" I grumbled. He sighed and laughed once under his breath.

"Well I never would have expected it to be _you_ \- I thought maybe Mikey; you know how he is" he added. Instantly we both relaxed a humoured huff spilled out of both of us as we looked to each other with a smirk.

"Yeah well…it's still probably gonna be- she's gotta life ta live Leo; she wont want me like dat in _dat way_ … she's _smart_ and…and like Casey said las' night…she needs ta get away from dangerous men"

"You're not dangerous Raph" he added pointedly. I crossed my eyes in confusion.

"You're a hot-head sure, _strong_ …but you ain't dangerous- Casey was just fired up. He's like you- _says things_ he doesn't mean" I rolled my eyes again and he chuckled. He moved to lean against the wall in front of me as I sat further up and crossed my arms.

"So what am a supposed ta do? Go up ta 'er an'…an' jus tell ' _er?_ It could ruin _everything_ we got…an' I _can't loose 'er_ …not like dat…" I cringed outwardly feeling the pain strike at my heart- the idea of her disappearing out of my life because of my stupid feelings…

It would ruin everything.

"I'd ratha keep everyt'in' tha same…dat way she stays, an' we all stay happy" I told him. He nodded and looked to the floor.

"Alright…Alright- if that's what you want" he said pushing him self up from the wall as he clicked his neck to the right. He looked like he wanted to say something else; and me being the big mouth I was asked him before he could disappear.

"ya got anything ta add?" I asked.

"Just…you say you wanna keep everything the same- _fine_ , but you can't get all destructive when she starts to date- which she will."

Crap. I hadn't considered that.

My teeth gritted. My stomach lurched. The idea of another man touching her, putting his arm around her; smiling at her.

 _Kissing her…_

I felt saliva swell into my mouth as the pain of the image burned deep. I kept my eyes on Leo- hiding my feelings as best as I could as I pouted my lips out and shrugged him away.

He watched me with an unreadable expression and turned. Before he left he looked over his shoulder at me.

"Its something you gotta think about" he added before leaving.

My hand found the weight on the floor as I pulled it tight into my grip.

 _The_ _idea of her wrapped up in some stranger's arms smiling and kissing him burned at me-_ I held the dun bell tighter.

 _The idea of her underneath some stranger the same way she was under me…_

tighter and tighter I gripped the now light object in my hand…

 _Her name calling for some random dude while he lay on top of her naked body while-_

I growled; a roar of a growl and the dumbbell in my hand threw out to the left, hitting the wall in such fierceness. My breathing seemed to get deeper, my teeth nearly shattering at the pressure of my bite, my fists clawing in at them selves tightly.

I hated Leo for bringing it up- _I hated him._

 _I hated that he was right_.

I sighed. I needed to accept it, but it was going to take the longest time.

§

I headed out of the gym to go and find April and see how Bonnie was holding up, but as I turned down to see Donnie's lab, I could only see April and Donnie crouched over a desk in paper work.

I pulled my eyes down confused.

"Hey Raph what's up?" April asked with a smile as she looked up from her work.

"Where's Bon? She said she was comin' ta find ya ages ago" I told her as April pulled her eyebrows together similar to my own expression.

"Sorry, She's not been down here Raph- I thought she was with you" she added as a spasm of worry hit me. April looked to me noticing my change. "Don't sweat she's maybe gone for a lie down; she looked pretty tired this morning"

"I wonder why…" Donnie said looking up with a pointed gaze. I rolled my eyes at him. "She bandaged you up last night didn't she?" he added. My face dropped. My eyes wide.

"Ow da fuck did you-"

"Surveillance dude- I checked it before, she followed you into the bathroom around 2" he shrugged.

My insides seemed to shake again, the idea of my brothers all invading this private life I had with her in the space of two days seemed to flurry my frustrations and emotions. Leo's diving, Master's interest, Donnie's surveillance camera's….

 _"FUCK, CAN NO ONE HAVE ANY PRIVACY ROUND ERE!"_ My voice boomed out as both of them looked at me with wide eyes.

"Its alright Raph chill!"

"Hey GUYS! You're totally missing it dude! Beautiful's all sleeping and looking pretty…in _MY_ bed!" Mikey skipped in delighted as I turned with rage and growled massively.

And then there was _him…_

 _"God_ its gonna smell so fucking good later"

 _What did he just say?_

I growled at him as he smiled hugely; I could feel the snap building, the tension behind my eyes burning as I gritted my teeth.

"WHAT?!" I growled out to him feeling my instincts go with me. My eyes zoned in on Mikey as I tumbled forward.

"Wait DUDE! I SWEAR I DIDN'T PUT HER THERE!"

Mikey took off running towards our rooms again as I charged after him, another growl on my tongue.

He span quickly- a good 10 meters ahead as I got closer. He barged into our room with his hands in the air.

"BEAUTIFUL! WAKE UP! PLEASE DEAR GOD WAKE UP!"


	13. Dinner, Back home again

**Okay guys here the next one! Alot happens here so READ WELL!**

 **YOU GUYS ARE SO AWESOME.**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Bonnie's POV

 _"Oh baby…" Raph called to me as I giggled flirtatiously at him. We were still on the training platform- I was still pinned underneath him and he was still grinning beautifully at me._

 _"I love you Raph…So much" I told him shaking my head- my hands reached to touch his face as he leant down into my grip…._

 _I pulled his lips towards me as he pushed the hand holding my head forward towards his face. I opened my mouth getting ready to kiss him when-_

"BEAUTIFUL! WAKE UP! PLEASE DEAR GOD WAKE UP!"

CRASH, BOOM… _BANG!_

My eyes flew open at the loud noise as my heart thundered down in my chest. I sat up; smacking my head on the bunk bed above as a jumble of turtle limbs spiralled into the little room, Mikey bowling under Raph as he ducked and stuck his legs out; the little curtain came flying down as shelved items flew out to me.

I shrieked in my dazed sleepy state as things fell and flew at me. I pushed my body back against the wall shuffling all my limbs up close as I grabbed at my legs to keep away from the brawling duo.

Mikey tried to wiggle away as Raph tried to grab him.

"RAPH!" I yelled but he didn't hear, he was too busy trying to pin Mikey down to the floor.

"RAPHAEL!" I growled out yelling but he was still throwing things around with his shell.

I picked up the little statue that rolled onto the bed as I grabbed it and slammed it down onto Raph's shell. I seemed to catch him off guard as he turned to look at me teeth bared.

I raised my eyebrows at him; eyes wide. He seemed to realise who I was and what he was doing as he stilled instantly.

 _"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"_ I shrieked as he froze; they both did- Raph had hold of Mikey's shoulder in his arm- Mikey had loosened a nun chuck and was holding it up high above Raph's head; it started to swing with the sudden stillness- their legs tangled- their faces now both the same. Frozen, shocked- wide.

Neither knew what to say or how to say it as they looked to me like young children looking at their mother.

"This is all his fault!" they both said at the same time with the same tone. Raph turned to growl at Mikey again.

"DON'T KILL ME!" Mikey shielded his face with his hands as the words skipped out quickly. I leaned across to touch Raph's shoulders. His face dropped into a scold.

"Get off of him!" I said sharply as he leaned back onto his knees with cross eyes and a pouting face.

Both boys stood and turned to me shaking them selves down.

"Jeeze look at this mess" Mikey commented loosely as Raph turned back to him and shoved him with his hand loosely.

"Its all ya fault!"

 _"MY FAULT?!"_

"Ya shouldn't wind me up!" he growled to him thrusting his hand into Mikey's side making him stumble. "Tellin' me she was in ya bed!"

"ENOUGH!" I barked out, now standing in between them. "You're like a fucking two-year-old!" I told him as Mikey pushed himself up out of his brother's grip. Mikey shuffled up and wiggled himself down.

"It was all Raph's fault! He freaked out because I said I saw you sleeping in here!" Mikey piped up as Raph turned back to growl at him around my body as I looked up to the ceiling and pinched my nose.

"What is it with you boys and watching me sleep?" I mumbled under my breath

"Well your da one sleepin' in 'is bed!" Raph pressed to me as my mouth fell open.

"I WAS TAKING A FIVE MINUTE NAP RAPH!" I told him sharply as he watched me through his childish expression.

"YA BEEN HOURS!" he bellowed.

"MAYBE I WAS TIRED AFTER HAVING LIKE THREE HOURS SLEEP LAST NIGHT!"

He silenced at my words and looked away from me again. Mikey stood with his eyes wide listening intently. I turned to look at him; he smiled cheerily and apologetically. But his face changed into short surprise as he looked to my eyebrow.

"H-hey dudette, you're bleeding"

He moved to touch my forehead and pulled his thumb away- it was coated in red.

I moved to the little mirror that somehow had not been knocked in their brawl and examined a small cut along my hair line. Nothing drastic; just a small knock.

Probably from hitting my head on the roof of the bunk bed.

"Fucking _hell_!" I growled out as I breathed through my nose and huffed. I looked up to the ceiling again and then at each of them.

Raph was instantly in front of me; all anger traces gone from his face.

"Let me see" he breathed as he tilted his hand to my cheek and moved my head into his grip.

His face returned to anger.

"SEE WHAT YA DID!" He shoved Mikey with his free hand. Mikey looked shocked.

"Hey! It's was all YOU!"

"THAT'S IT! - GET OUT!" I yelled. Both looked to me with wide eyes. "OUT! NOW!"

I shoved the back of Raph's shell as he grumbled at me and pushed out of the cloaked area.

Both turtles stumbled out of the little room and into the open area.

Surrounding us was the remainder of their family- who had obviously overheard the brawl and arrived with amused faces on all of them. I ignored them as both Raph and Mikey turned back to me.

"Okay- lets get something straight." I said licking my top lip. "you decided to wake me up- by _brawling_ into the little room you both share- _knowing I was asleep_ …because I had taken a nap on the _bottom bunk_?!"

"Dat's Mikey's bed doh" Raph said as my eyes widened.

"So _what?!_ Doesn't mean I'm _waiting_ for him _naked_ , does it?" I pushed as Mikey grinned looking proud of himself. Leo moved over slowly to whack the back of his head. Raph huffed and scuffed his feet into the floor.

"Apologise" Leo scolded " _Now"_.

Mikey turned to look back at me with open palms.

"I'm realllly sorry dudette- like _reeeaaaal_ sorry…especially for hurting you!" Mikey looked down to the floor. His face now crippled with guilt.

"You didn't- I hit my head on the bunk when you made the noise"

I touched my forehead again, feeling the trickle of blood roll down my eyebrow. Raph moved forward, his thumb touched my cut as I cringed a little as he wiped the blood away.

His eyes met mine; the look in them new, but I instantly could tell what he was thinking- how sorry he was. I looked to him pointedly and sighed. I knew he had an issue with this- He had been honest about it last night.

I needed to remember- to be as understanding as possible. As ridiculous as the little situation seemed.

He would tell me how sorry he was privately.

"Donatello, have you got a Band aid?" I asked turning. Raph's hand still stayed on my cheek.

He nodded and motioned for him to come over to him and April. April eyed me and Raph carefully.

I blushed. I looked back to him, his face still sad as I rolled my eyes and smiled slightly letting him know it was okay- That I had temporarily forgiven him until we could talk in private.

"Come on" I pulled him with me as he followed like a puppy, his face still stiff and guilty.

We went up to Donnie's lab which I had been shown around last night. He reached into a little first aid box as Raph stood against the wall and Donatello placed the band-aid on my face.

I protested letting him know I was more than capable but he insisted.

"He's a gentleman" April shrugged with a smile as I breathed out a small laugh.

"There! Good as new" Donnie grinned.

"Thank you Donatello" I told him as I moved to admire my new accessory in the glass window pane that separated the two rooms.

" _Great"_ I said with a sigh of disappointment; as if being tall, and broad wasn't enough- I was now bandaged. It stuck out above my eyebrow- just a tiny blue plaster. I huffed again.

I eyed Raph instantly, his face hard, his eyes even more stiff.

"Can you guys give us a minute?" I asked quietly as they both raised their eyes but nodded with a smile.

"We're having dinner soon, if you're happy to stay" Donnie added. Now my eyes widened; had the day passed that quickly?

"I'd like that" I smiled to them as they walked out; Donatello made point of shutting the door behind us.

A small silence echoed through out the room.

Raph kept leaning against the hard concrete pillar as I watched him.

"You wanna talk about what just happened or-" I trailed off waiting for him to answer. He didn't he just gritted his teeth.

I sighed. I stood up and moved in front of him; my hand touched his arm like normal- he seemed to wake up from his hard exterior at that.

His face softened to look down and meet mine; his muscles relaxed under my touch.

"What happened in the…" I looked to the clock above the doorway "4 hours I've been sleeping?" I asked with a small curious smile.

"Endorphins wore out?" I joked. He huffed and looked away.

"Raph" I warned gently, but his eyes wouldn't meet mine. I lifted my hand to his cheek, putting pressure on it to turn his face down to me.

He looked down at me with sad guilty eyes. He didn't say anything; but his hand reached to touch my plaster again, his thumb skimming it as the rest of his fingers touched my face, sliding round to caress my cheek just as I was doing.

I leaned into his hand; it was warm and cushioned. It was something that I found so hard to believe, how soft his hands were given they could rip me to pieces in a single blow.

My heart drummed as usual as his fingers ran down my cheek, I opened my eyes slowly, gazing up at him as his eyes searched my own. It was like they were looking for something in my eyes, but I couldn't tell what.

I didn't care- he glimmered down at me and his own beautiful eyes swam into mine.

He then shuffled and opened his mouth to speak.

"I'm-"

I cut him off, my hand which had cupped his cheek found his lips as my fingers stilled him just like I had done before.

My index finger ran over the bottom of his lip.

"Its okay; it was an accident" I told him softly. I could see the self hate building in the edges of his face. I could feel it echo off him as he stared at me.

And he needed to know I didn't care- it was silly. We were fine.

"but-" He tried again. I pressed my fingers in harder. He silenced, his mouth opening the tiniest amount to blow a breath out.

The hot air hit my fingers, making me involuntarily in take my own breath in a shallow wisp.

His eyes still watched my face expectantly.

"I get it; this is new, being around family is new- its new for me too you know, all of this" I told him. He opened his mouth again, almost instantly in worry but I carried on

"…but again, for the _last time_ , I am _not_ interested in _trading_ you for your brothers okay? Just let me get to know them- let me get comfortable here" I told him. He huffed. But his shoulders dropped indicating the fight was over and I had won.

I kept my fingers on his lips for a few more seconds.

"And I accidentally fell asleep on Mikey's bed- I was only resting my head but I guess I fell asleep. _I was_ tired out! I had basically attacked Casey and then _you attacked me_!" I told him pointedly, he rolled his eyes and head away from me in a half pout.

"I hardly attacked ya" he added as I lifted my fingers away from his mouth. I rolled my eyes and let a small chuckle loose. I leaned into him a little more letting my head touch his plastron; he was leaning against the concrete wall anyway. My other hand found my hip.

"You know what I meant" I said rolling my eyes. "but you _did_ attack Mikey" I added with a raise of my eyebrow, the tight edge of the band aid made it a little harder than usual.

"'e wound me up! 'e was braggin' bout ya bein' in 'is bed" he said explanatorily. I sighed.

"Of course he would Raph; you're easy to wind up like that. I spent the first few weeks winding you up, you managed to not attack me"

His face seemed to spring alive with annoyance

"Dat is totally different doll! As if a would-"

I cut him off, my fingers back onto his lips.

"I'm just stating the obvious Raph- You don't need to attack your brothers over me. Their trying to get a reaction from you. And I know from experience they will get one"

He huffed and looked deflated-disheartened.

"It's because you're all heart big guy" I added, my other hand finding his chest as I patted it twice. My hand stayed there feeling the thumping behind his chest as my fingers splayed out over his hard chest. We both looked down to my hand; letting his loud and inconsistent heart beat fill the air.

"It's what I love most about you…" I told him softly in the quietest voice possible. I didn't dare look up at his face; I felt like I couldn't- my cheeks softly burned and my entire chest felt like it was going to cave in.

But I could still feel- and I could feel his lips, no longer flat under my fingers, but pushing out against them.

My eyes flicked up to see his own closed, as he gently, pressed the softest kiss into my fingers.

My whole body felt like it was being drained. My nerves stood on end underneath my fingertips as his barely-there kiss tarnished them.

I never wanted to wash my hand.

He pressed against them once, twice, before he pulled his face back to look at me.

I didn't know what my expression was in that moment but his breath taking smile flourished out to me.

I sighed heavily feeling my own lips twitch up into the corners of my face. My fingers on his lips now in his own hand as he reached up to hold it, the back of my hand rubbed along his cheek as he pushed it along his jaw line.

I watched him with a glow; the feeling unlike anything I had ever felt before. It was just me and him again, after the craziest few days- and it was different.

But wonderful.

Then a knock on the door made us spin around and separate; Raph growled. Leo popped her head in as I blushed heavily, my cheeks burning.

"Just letting you two know were having dinner in twenty" He told us. I swallowed trying to find my voice, but Raph beat me to it.

"Alright" he answered smoothly. Leo smiled, his bottom lip curling in ward as he patted the door and retracted out.

I turned back round to Raph who's face had gone hard again. I understood the time we had spent with his brothers was becoming too much for him now; I could sense it in his now screwed up face.

"Why don't we go back to mine after dinner? You can stay until you have to patrol" I asked him. He brightened instantly as his shoulders dropped.

"Yeah doll- lets do dat" I giggled under my breath as I leaned against him in a caring way my hand finding his heart again before I walked out ahead of him.

"I thought a bit of 'us' time would be good for you after the past few days"

"Us?" he asked, his tone lighter. I smiled to him breath-takingly.

"Me and you- you know…the thing you 'kinda like'" I laughed trying to mimic his accent. He grinned beautifully.

"Now come on- your brothers are waiting for us" I told him, as I continued to walk down the corridor. The biggest grin on my face as we re-entered the kitchen area.

I took a seat next to April who watched me carefully again, but still smiled to me and Raph gently with soft eyes.

A look in her eye glimmered over the two of us, but she never said anything- I was grateful, but worried about what she would tell Casey later.

Dinner was a calm affair with pasta and jokes as I got to know the brothers more.

Donatello made me giggle at an old Story of Raph which made everyone chortle at the memory.

Mikey constantly flirted with me and taunted at Raph who stared him down; but must have listened to my words and had started to roll his eyes and shake his head at his little brother's mischief. It had probably helped that Raph had slung his arm around the back of my chair in the way that he leaned in. And no one raised an eyebrow or noticed.

Something which I think we both were glad of.

Leonardo talked to me about the latest book he was reading; I had told him I had read it already and was onto the sequel.

He begged me not to ruin it as I laughed at him.

"I'll make sure Raph gives you my copy of the sequel when you're done- we should start a little book club; you will have so many questions" I posed to him to which he grinned and laughed brightly.

"That sounds great" he answered honestly and cheerfully.

For once when I looked; Raph didn't seem hostile towards my interaction with his brothers- it may have been because his hand was on the back of my chair.

It might have been because I had scolded him enough times about it.

Or it could have been because halfway through dinner when Raph had lowered his arm from the back of my chair, quietly under the table out of view, his green hand lay loosely on top of my open palm, playing with my fingers there every few minutes, holding them and releasing them gently…

"Am takin' Bonnie 'ome fearless" Raph told Leo after dinner. All his brothers lifted their heads from where they sat. Leonardo looked up to me and then to Raph; he was busy in the sink cleaning. He dropped the dish cloth from his hand and came over.

"You sure? You're welcome to stay another night if you're worried" Leo asked with a small smile to me.

I nodded to him happily.

"Thank you; but I feel safe enough now- gonna take the big guy with me" I chuckled elbowing Raph who looked to Leo with an unreadable expression.

"You staying for a while?" Leo asked him.

"Till patrol yeah"

It didn't go unnoticed how much smoother their exchange was now. I wondered what I really had missed in those short hours I had slept.

Leo nodded with a serious expression. He looked down to me for a minute then to Raph sharply.

"Alright- we'll take the first hour and then swing by and meet you at 11"

Raph looked surprised, but pleased. A lazy smile seemed to work its way into his features.

"Cool"

Raph went to turn but I stepped forwards back towards his brothers.

"It was lovely meeting you- and thank you for everything- you know, saving my life, feeding me, letting me stay" I said rattling through the list.

"You're welcome any time Bonnie- just call one of us- we'll answer" Leo said proudly as I smiled to him. I reached out to place my hand in his to squeeze it in thanks as he leant over and bowed his head slightly.

I moved to Donnie to do the same as I reached for his hand, he smiled happily at my gesture.

"Let me know how the Shell-Cell works! I'll have a new update by next week probably- I'll text you and let you know" he said as I laughed.

"I'll look forward to it" I told him.

Then I was enveloped in the biggest hug; Mikey of course, who lifted me off the ground in a bone crushing grip.

"Oh beautiful; how I'll miss you! But you got my number kay? So anytime you wanna _man_ to swing by and take you out- you know where I am" he grinned thrusting his thumb at his own chest. His brothers groaned at Donnie's foot flicked out at him. Raph's foot beside me started to thump with impatience.

Raph pulled on my arm to get Mikey to release me as he pulled me away; growing more and more impatient by the second as I laughed and waved at them all.

I leaned over to see April as I called out to her. I ducked under Raph's arm to move over towards her. He kept pushing me towards the exit.

"I'll call you tomorrow- oh and Casey! I totally forgot, I'll-" but my words cut off as I was slung over the back of Raph's shoulder.

A small squeal echoed out of me as I tried to shout after her but she waved me off with a grin; as the rest of the small family did and I bumped along the sewer line laughing wildly as Raph bounced me up and down running up the tunnel pipes…

We reached my little apartment in no time- I went up the stairs while Raph sat on the roof waiting to come in.

I all but raced to my little glass door unhinging the lock and stepping out onto the balcony. I looked up at the roof. He was already there; grinning down at me as I smiled back.

Within a few seconds we were back inside. On the sofa together just sitting peacefully. Enjoying the silence.

"So- 'ow damaged are ya after dat whole incident?"

I giggled.

"Aww come on- they're really nice Raph; you're so lucky" I told him smoothly.

The warm glow of my table lamp had filled the room as the darkness from the outside world spread over every window and door.

It was cosy again; and quiet. Something which I relished in.

"Lucky?" he asked with crossed eyes.

"They _love you_ \- and your home is awesome, your _dad_ was the biggest shock but…he seems nice"

"'e asked me about ya" Raph added with a shrug. I blushed.

"Oh god what did you say?" I pushed with a firm stare.

Raph chuckled twice, it rested into a smirk as he looked to me playfully.

"Told 'im ya were a lil danger magnet who keeps harassin' me"

My mouth fell open. He laughed again as I moved to hit him playfully. He grabbed my wrists to stop me attacking him as he pulled them down onto his chest. I moved with him, crawling towards him as my arms followed his movements.

It ended up with me nearly sitting in his lap. My legs swung over one of his legs my arms in his grasps gripping onto his carapace.

"Nah, doll I didn't- a told 'im how great ya are..." he trailed off his laughs ceasing slowly, his eyes going soft again.

"'Ow kind and smart ya are..." he blew out another small grin as I blushed at his words, my heart hammering into his as he watched me through glazed eyes.

I watched him right back; the same intensity falling over the two of us. It was here again. The new feeling that spammed in my system. The aura surrounding us was changing, everything was light and airy- love coated the world around making us forget where we were and if anyone was around us.

It was only me and him again; and it was perfect. I sighed as I watched him and he watched me.

"I ain't never brought anyone back to dem before…" he breathed to me as I felt a shudder fall over me.

"Well...you kinda didn't have a choice" I told him with a knowing smile. He nodded but shrugged.

"I know its jus- afta t'inkin' bout it today…after them bein' pains to begin with, it was…kinda nice" he blew out another small huff as he watched me with his smile.

"Raph you attacked Mikey" I told him flatly as he shook his head.

"I know…I know- it was jus' at dinner tonigh'…when I was used to it- watchin' ya wid them…it was real nice" he said smoothly, his voice even.

"Was really nice for me too" I said in a quiet voice. And it was only then I realised we were touching fingers and hands again. I looked down at them, catching his eye follow mine as he trailed his gaze down as well.

His thumb rubbed the backs of my hands as his other fingers wrapped in and out of my own.

He pulled away with a heavy breath and shook his hands in the air.

"Sorry uh…" he said clearing his throat.

My heart sunk; the hope that had began to rise seemed to dissolve into hurt- but I let it go instantly.

It wasn't a big deal.

"I'll go get us a drink" I told him, standing from the sofa as I turned into my little kitchen quickly.

My hands on the edge of the sink as I rinsed out two cups and headed to the fridge to retrieve two sodas. A noise grabbed my attention; like something had been dropped on the floor with a clunk. I looked down; nothing. Then up- to where my green friend was now stood.

In the door way, Raphael stood unsure, but a new look crossed his face; a chancing look. I looked up at him for a minute, staring at him as if waiting for something- anything to happen.

"Raph, what's-"

And then he enveloped me in the biggest hug possible.

This was new; entirely new.

His arms encircled my waist, his hands rested on my back as he crushed me to his chest securely, his head leaning down onto mine.

I sighed and hugged him back; my arms snaking around his neck as he bent down in my grip. I reached up on my tip toes to hug him tightly, his scent everywhere, his muscles everywhere, his body warm.

I sighed out a thousand butterflies as more and more seemed to attack me violently. My heart hammered into him.

This was perfect.

Then after a minute or so, he pulled back slightly, not looking at me, but with his eyes shut- he reached down to my forehead, his lips softly puckered as he pressed a longing gentle kiss there. My fingers touched his chest naturally as he did so.

My own eyes closed in pleasure and warmth.

His lips staying on my forehead for the longest time.

And I loved every second of it.

When he moved his lips away, he pulled me in again, keeping me close; his purr starting up behind his vocal chords.

"Thank you…fer everythin' today" he breathed to me in a whisper as a small breathless giggle echoed out of me.

As he crushed me to his body, I placed a kiss on his shoulder blade. His skin rough underneath my lips, his scales oddly hot and smooth. He smelled wonderful.

My fingers trailed along the top of his neck and shell line, as I tapped my nails along the back of his shell; he shuddered as I giggled.

"I love that" I whispered to him as he chuckled.

"Wish I neva mentioned anythin'" he grumbled still holding me as I turned my head to rest it on his shoulder blade, my head facing into his chest as my fingers drummed gently.

"Well; I'm glad you did."

We stayed still for another minute or so, his arms still strong on me as we stayed together- just holding each other securely, speaking in volumes of silent words with our actions.

It had vaguely occurred to me that we were blurring the lines of our friendship at a much faster spinning rate, but trying to keep that balance.

I wondered how deep these feelings ran for him…

If they would ever reach the colossal level mine were for him…

But we were being careful; dancing on the edge as to not lead this any further. This was perfect, it was good- I couldn't get my heart broken in this situation; and with him being a turtle…I guessed it was all new and he was just as worried about this as I was.

We were being smart.

 _Just little skin kisses, just the one big hug…then everything back to normal…_

I could deal with the want of more, but I couldn't deal with loosing him forever because I wanted more.

This was enough.

But it did make me curious, I wondered if he had ever encountered any type of relationship before, the questions April had asked me about him just a night ago, flew at me and echoed around in my head.

What was his preference?

What _did_ he like?

Then the memory of the half naked women's calendar echoed through my head…

As well as the memory of him watching me in my sleep, while coincidentally, I had just experienced a very erotic dream…

I pulled back with a smile as he did so too, and released me as I spun around to grab our drinks.

Raph was already in my top cupboards, looking for the bag of 'Funion's' which I now stocked weekly after learning they were his favourite.

I laughed at him and shook my head.

"You've literally just eaten dinner like a half hour ago" I scolded, but he winked at me and reached anyway as I shook my loose waves and curls out.

"Gotta keep stamina Doll"

Once back in the living room we sat back down on the sofa, I absent-mindedly switched on the TV and began searching through the channels. Raph sat beside me one of his legs up on my coffee table as he rested there comfortably.

I bit my lip looking to his chest. He noticed as I blushed. I sat back on the sofa beside him, my leg touching his comfortably.

Raph looked down to me as I bit the side of my lip.

 _I really wanted to be a hell of a lot closer…_

As if sensing my internal struggle, Raph caught my eye again. With a smirk, he lifted the arm that was in his lap, slung it round the back of the sofa and with his other hand patted his chest- a motion for me to come in.

I grinned and instantly curled up against him my head in the crook of his arm and chest as I lifted my legs up off the floor and tucked them beside me.

It had vaguely occurred to me we were now cuddling, but I let the simmering idea settle.

I was far too giddy and happy to even focus on the technicalities of anything.

I noticed the discovery channel; it was shark week. I eyed Raph out of the corner of my eye with a cheeky pleading look. He looked down rolled his eyes but nodded.

"Go on" he told me as I snuggled in closer and clicked the button.

He chuckled at me but didn't say anything, instead, he leaned down to my head, where my hair was and butted the side of my head gently with his beak; it was quick, but casual as he breathed in my scent and leaned back to watch the TV.

Time with his brothers had been great. But this was everything.

I responded by laying my hand gently on his chest.

And nothing else needed to be said. Nothing else needed to happen.

Yes. We were being smart about our turning friendship- we were keeping things loose and open.

Even if all I wanted now was to jump into his lap declare my love for him and have him carry me off to my bedroom down the hallway.

Smart. I reminded my self.

Sensible. No heart-break.

§

"I could crush dat tiny shark thing in my sleep" Raph scoffed throwing his free hand at the TV.

We stayed together curled up as I snickered.

"Yeah, by sitting on it probably" I snickered as he rolled his eyes at me. I leaned forward taking my soda can as I took a sip and settled back into my little hole between Raph's arm and his chest.

"Yeah yeah, trust me tho sweetheart; am _all heavy_ muscle" he grinned as I shook out my curls.

"Oh I know don't worry" I laughed loosely, remembering our earlier position from this morning. With the memory; questions kept spiralling back to me- burning my tongue to ask.

Questions about all of that earlier today, and that calendar in his room…

"Ya okay doll?" he asked as I looked up to realise I had been scowling for a few minutes.

"Yeah I'm fine…its just…can I ask you something… _intimate?"_ I pressed biting my lip tightly as his face turned fully to me.

He didn't say much, just swallowed and nodded, a look of worry crossed his features.

"I was just thinking about earlier today…when I was in your room and last night…I couldn't help but notice…you and Mikey…you have this… _calendar"_ I added with a blush. Raph's eyes widened massively.

" _Dats Mikey's!_ 'e put it up a swear I-"

I cut him off with a wave.

"Not what I'm getting at- and its totally fine, it's a guy thing I get it…" I trailed.

"But it's the ' _guy stuff'_ I'm getting at- all that ' _guy stuff'_ …is it the same for you? … as it is for human guys?"

I blushed.

Did it sound offensive?

It felt it to ask, but he didn't seem to change his face, he just kept still, frozen. He removed his arm from behind me and leant forward, his hands clasped together as I shuffled further down away from him to give him space- just a little, now facing him on the other side of the sofa.

I bit my lip harder.

"I didn't mean for that to sound so-"

"Nah…I get it…ya curious…its alright" he said softly remembering my earlier comments to him.

His tone and thoughtfulness made my head spin and my heart swell.

"I mean- ya saw Mikey…'e's all for da ladies…we grew up wid all dat stuff…so yeah- its all da same I guess" he rubbed the side of his neck awkwardly.

My hope took it up a notch, my insides beamed. So he _did_ like girls like that…

I bit my lip containing my smile, this was good- really good. Acting on my curiosity and new found confidence I kept pushing, knowing fine well I should stop; the burn and bubble on my tongue needing to get it all answers I could.

"So…has there ever been anyone…h-have you ever tried…or any of you to…" I couldn't word it properly, my hands span out into the air trying to demonstrate something, but he seemed to click on fast.

He cut me off sharply with a huff.

"Jeeze- whats wid everyone today an' askin' dis shit?" he growled out. He rolled his eyes and shook his head to the floor, seeming to speak to himself as I felt the hurt barrel towards me.

 _Oh no…_

" _Look_ ; We don't date… _eva_ " he scoffed, almost urgently his eyes never on me "like ya cousin said- we can't exactly go up to a coffee shop n ask a girl out" he shook his head, his face a little sad. He looked constantly away from me frustrated as he tutted and growled. His words urgent and unsure.

"We look, but we don't _eva_ engage wid humans…I mean- look at ya and den look at me- _we don't match_ …neva did, neva will"

The words flew out of him so smoothly; like butter. But how bitter they seemed.

So they didn't date…

"Ever?" I asked again quietly, the word tumbling out before I could even stop it.

"Eva" he pressed firmly, his lips tight. His eyes on the ground in anguish and upset.

 _So all of this wasn't real?_

The cuddling, the hugging, the touches, the looks…

Were just that.

Looks.

I swallowed, unable to look at him as I pulled my eyes down to the table in front of me. Inside my chest burned tightly, my heart ripped down as I felt my insides prick.

 _"We don't date…eva"_

I swallowed down the hurt as I felt my words shrink back to me, my questions keeping in as I paled.

"Ignore what Casey said- he's a dick" I added flatly, Raph looked up at me from his leaning position, his hand still on his neck but he laughed a little at my comment.

"Any'tin else?" he asked in an awkward tone. I shook my head instantly and bit my lip, just wanting the burn to stop, just wanting all my questions to be pushed back down.

My face grew hot. I gritted my teeth trying my best to push the questions back.

"That's it I guess" I mumbled out.

 _"We look, but we don't eva engage…"_

I swallowed, and as I did an alarm echoed through the room. I looked down to my phone and Raph's which both lay on the table beside each other.

They both buzzed and a blue light flashed.

"Dat's patrol time" he told me. "Your's will do it too- lets ya know where am at" he smirked with a wink, his eyes bright.

I could feel mine weaken as I tried my best to put my poker face on. My heart couldn't even stammer, just erratic shocks as my ribs shook…

 _"we don't match…"_

Raph pulled his eyes together in confusion, sensing the room change as I folded my arms and stood up. My legs wobbled beneath me.

No heart ache.

 _You promised me- This was enough. It_ _ **is**_ _enough. No more heart ache._

 _"neva did, an' neva will"…_

I could feel the cracks starting. The pain inside my chest rising.

"Doll?"

I spun round to face him my eyes wet as I blinked back and swallowed.

 _Snap the fuck out of it! Right now!_

I took a breath and smiled to him gently.

"yeah sorry, just got tired for a minute there" I said waving my hand off. Raph's eyes seemed unbelieving; his mouth open slightly as I swallowed again, straightening my self out.

"I hate when ya do that" he muttered. I looked to him with a confused face.

"Do what?"

"Push things down as if they don't matta" he told me "ya did it las' night when ya were t'inkin' of ya dad…it matta's Doll… _you matta…tell me…_ " he spoke softly moving closer. I gritted my teeth as I felt the emotion rise again. I crossed my arms tight not trusting my self to touch him.

 _I don't matter though do I? You don't date…_

I could feel the anger burning there behind my pressed lips, the words wanting to come flying out at him, my eyes tinged in the heat of it.

A deep breath brought everything back down.

"I'm totally fine Raph- go- Come on, your brothers waiting for you- go" I told him kindly as I smiled to him and waved him off.

He stood stiff.

"Not until ya tell me!" he growled this time as he stepped towards me.

And for the first time ever-

I stepped back.

My action seemed to rock both of us as he looked up at me with a shocked expression, that quickly changed to pained eyes and an open mouth. His shoulders dropped as his face froze in a tireless pained expression.

I looked up to him and locked my jaw.

"Night Raphael" I told him, knowing I was going to burst into tears. His plastron rose and fell in long strokes; the hardest I had ever seen it go, his fingers shook a little as his eyes wavered.

He couldn't say anything else, just looked at me- his eyes loosing their glow. His body seemed less strong and poised as usual.

But he couldn't come and hug me again.

He couldn't touch me like normal.

I couldn't dare touch him.

Not now.

 _"we don'_ _t_ _match…"_

"Night…Bonnie" he called to me, his words loose; monotonous.

And then he was gone.

My balcony curtains flickered in the breeze.

It was the quickest he'd ever left.

And I couldn't move for five minutes.

What was _this_ then? if he didn't feel that way about us?

He pinned me underneath him. He held me there tight.

He had called me beautiful and told me things I could only ever dream of.

He flirted with me and acted as if he could love me back.

I cringed, my chest palpitating in pain as I gasped out, the truth spiralled at me.

He would never love me back…

 _"ever?"_

 _"Eva" he pressed…_

I cringed again as I stumbled towards my little balcony door, my fingers finding the lock as I fumbled with it and shut it tight.

I waited for the click.

The cheery memory of waiting for the click made my eyes prick.

And I fell to the floor behind my curtain, bringing my knees up to my chin as tears fell like rivers, the pain unreal- my heart heavy as I started to cry softly.

No heart ache- I had promised my self that.

But it was inevitable…

And deep down I knew that it had always been that way.

No heart ache; what a laugh.

What a joke.

I was always the punchline in some way or form.

My tears fell as I let the rolling soft sobs out, needing the release from it all as I tried to catch the tears as they fell down my face.

What the hell was he doing with me then? Did he think all human friendships were like this?

No, he _knew_ \- he was friends with Casey and April and last night I didn't see him look at April or touch April like he would me…

 _He was even jealous when Mikey said he found me in his bed…_

I didn't understand it- and with the pull of my heart I knew I didn't need too.

I just needed to forget it.

With a few deep breaths I breathed in securely calming my heart ache down.

Because on top of it all- I still needed him. I still needed his friendship. I still pined for it.

I had told myself that I wouldn't get swallowed up into this mess.

I had promised it.

I swallowed and leant my head against the glass my eyes shut as I breathed out letting a few more tears drip silently down my face.

I shook my head evenly and sighed.

I needed to get over him to save our friendship- I needed to so badly.

I stood and wiped my self down and swiped my hand across my face to dry the tears.

Instantly I reached for my phone and I clicked April's number into my new system.

After a short few rings she picked up.

"Hello?"

"April its Bonnie"

"Yeah I know; I've got you in my shell phone too- Donnie added you this morning" she laughed once as I smiled forcefully. I wasn't sure why I did it- it just seemed like habit now.

"Oh great"

"what can I help you with? Is Raph there still?" she asked evenly as I swallowed.

"Actually he just left…I wondered if erm" I swallowed. "if I could take you up on that offer from yesterday?"

"Offer?"

"a date…I wondered if you could set me up on a date" I told her quickly and evenly. There was only one way to fully get over someone after all- and that meant dating someone new; or at least, distracting my self with someone new.

"Oh" she answered evenly the surprise in her voice new and unsure.

"A-Are you sure?" she pressed as I I bit back the lump in my throat.

 _No I'm not- I don't wanna date someone new- I just want him, but he doesn't date- he told me so himself…_

"Yes- completely sure" I quipped.

"What about all that 'Ronald' stuff yesterday?" she pressed. I grinded my teeth down.

Had she not clicked on at all?

"Yeah…he doesn't date" I spat out down the phone. "I need someone new- to get over it" I told her with a deep breath.

I could hear April click her tongue.

"Do you want me to come over?" she said in a quiet voice as I looked to my roof.

Maybe she knew more than I thought.

"No- really its totally fine, I just… _need_ to do this" I told her wiping a stray tear back from my face.

"Alright…erm I guess I could set you up with Kyle? He's an old colleague from the news- pretty nice guy" she said unsure into the phone. I swallowed.

He would do.

Anyone would do.

"Great"

"Well…Okay" she answered a little sadly.

"Okay-…I'm gonna go to bed now" I told her my voice sad and flat.

"Okay" she said again with an even more deflated tone. I wanted to push her on it- I wanted to know why she was so sad about the idea of me dating. But I swallowed and shook my head- needing to sleep from this whole mess.

"Night Bonnie" she called, but I hung up half way through the sentence.

I immediately regretted it; all of it.

I didn't want to go on some random date- it scared me. The nerves hit my system, causing adrenaline to flair slightly.

My eyes widened, but I couldn't concentrate on it now.

I turned to head back down to my bedroom, but my feet froze. I looked to the balcony door.

My eyes grew pained and my heart thumped.

I turned my head back and kept walking.

No more heart ache.

 _Please…_

Later that night as I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, my phone buzzed.

I picked it up to look at the screen. Raph's name flashed up and a little envelope beside it.

A message.

 _You okay?_

I smiled sadly to the two simple words feeling my heart shudder uncomfortably. A tear welled up again as I breathed through it and shook it away.

 **Fine, promise you- just tired. Trying to sleep.**

 _Oh_

Was that all he could say? The anger burned inside again.

Then another message flashed up on the screen, a little envelope again as I clicked on it.

 _If you can't sleep, do you want me to come over?_

I did. More than _anything_ I did.

 **No don'** **t** **be silly, got work tomorrow, need to sleep.**

 _Alright_

 **Night Raph.**

 _Night Doll._

I pushed the phone down onto my desk and turned back around curling up like a little foetus.

"I love you _so much_ " I whispered to myself as I curled in tighter.

Sleep found me eventually, after crying lulled me softly away.

* * *

 **Dun Dun DUUUNNNNN- okay so our couples hit a snag!**

 **Do you think Bonnie is overreacting?**

 **Why did Raph say those things?**

 **What will happened between them now?**

 **What does this mean for our two characters?**

 **Let me know what you guys think!**

 **Owl x**


	14. Heartbroken, Storms

The next few days were even, and I avoided Raph if I could- only messaging his brothers when they messaged me. Mikey kept asking when I was coming back, Donnie and I chatted about another update. He called once and talked me through the process, but with a laugh I politely declined and said it was all working fine; that he could update the system when I next seen him.

Leo even messaged me once- asking how I was, which I appreciated. I texted him back politely and asked how he was getting on with his latest read.

It was nice- easy friendship with each of the boys.

It was just Raph who I struggled with.

My excuses for not seeing him piled up:

I had homework.

I was working late.

I was out with friends- he _knew_ I didn't even have any friends. But he never pushed me on it, he always answered with an 'alright' and always sent me a text to say good night.

It throbbed at my heart a little.

I wanted to keep our friendship- I so did, and I missed him sat on the edge of my sofa so much. But I needed time- just a few days before I saw him again- just to balance everything out as best as I could. To get my head in the game.

At work April watched me with confused eyes all week. But she never asked me about it- just watched with a different look. Today, I was doing my best to ignore her observation as I tallied up the latest stock count.

My eyes were still red and my face still tired. I had not had a good nights sleep for days.

After about an hour or so- She moved urgently and turned the sign around on the door to shut and moved towards me.

"Alright- That's it! you need to tell me what's wrong" she said urgently with crossed eyebrows.

I looked up at her and shrugged. "Its nothing" I grumbled shaking my head.

"Bonnie! Now!" she said even firmer as I looked up at her.

"Its over _him_ isn't it?" she said even more angrily. "What did he do? What did he say?"

I gritted my teeth together.

"Who?" I breathed out.

"You know _damn-fine_ who!"

I looked down to the counter and squeezed my eyes shut tight.

"Ronald's-"

"Use his _real_ name" she said slightly softer.

So she did know. Great

"How did you-"

"It was kinda obvious don't you think?" she said "the way he spoke to you, touched you- your actions around him-'Red hair, amber eyes?' come on Bon…did you and Raph…break up or something?"

Below me the paper in my hand scrunched up accidentally in my closed fist.

"Does Casey know?"

"No, Casey's an idiot, of course he doesn't" she told me softly.

I took a deep breath, my arms holding me up on the counter as my legs turned to jelly.

"We were never together" I breathed out evenly.

"I know…but it just seemed like you guys were gonna be" she said with a shrug.

A tear fell down my face- betraying my composure.

"Oh Bonnie- I didn't mean to-"she said moving towards me as a sob broke out of my throat. I cupped my face and sucked in a breath.

"No…No its fine, its just…I-I" I looked up to the ceiling trying my best to stop the sobs that built up inside. I swallowed and breathed out again.

"I just need to get over it- its nothing, _we're_ friends…I just got a little too attached I guess"

"Well, its obvious he is as well…I don't get it- why don't you talk to him about this? Tell him how you feel"

I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"He doesn't date- told me so himself" I told her flatly. "said me and him wouldn't work" I blew out. Her shoulders dropped and her mouth twitched to the side.

"Does he know how you _feel_?" she pressed. I shook my head and walked away from her, pulling on my curls.

"Does it matter now? What am I gonna do? Tell him I'm fucking in love with him and that my heart jumps when I see him? That I think about him every minute of everyday? That I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't _focus_ …" I rolled out in a breath.

I spun on my heels angry with hot rolling tears.

"ONLY to then have him, TELL me- he doesn't date- that me and him would never mix, THAT I could never fucking be with him. EVER" I growled out in anger and frustration.

I sighed. I folded my arms and looked back up to April's face, she watched me with a sad expression- her eyes disappointed, her face frowning.

"You're _that_ in love with him?" she breathed out as my eyes met hers.

We stayed quiet for a minute as I let her process my information. I closed my eyes and turned back to her.

"I can't be" I whispered with a deep breath and a slow shake of my head.

I fell into the little chair that sat beside the wall. My hands finding my face, my elbows on my knees.

"I don't want to loose him- he's still my friend, my best friend" I told her through my muffled palm. I rubbed my face down and sat back up.

April was kneeling beside me instantly.

"Ignoring him isn't going to help" she said.

"I'm not-"

"I was down there last night- Leo's worried, he says Raph's miserable, and not even angry miserable…just sad; lifeless" she told me as I swallowed.

I shook my head and sighed.

"I needed a few days- just to get over what he said. I need to concentrate on something else"

"which is why you asked me for the date" she sat back in realisation. Her shoulders fell.

"What exactly did Raph say to you?" she asked a little firmer.

I sat up and rubbed my face, with a deep breath I sniffed and looked up to her.

"I asked him about guy stuff…if it was the same for humans as it was for him…he told me yes- but then sharply told me he doesn't date- that humans and him don't mix, that he wouldn't ever consider it- ' _ever'_ , was the word he used when I asked him…I took it like a hint."

She stayed quiet.

"Its better this way- that way he never truly knocked me back- that would have been so much worse, at least this way its easier to deal with…but it still hurts you know…like a fucking knife to the heart"

April kept quiet- assessing the situation as she breathed. Then she looked down to the floor.

"He's an idiot- a _real_ idiot, wait till I get my hands on him"

"Oh April please don't- I don't need that right now, he doesn't know" I breathed out as she watched me.

"I just can't understand why he would say that? You do know he doesn't mean it right? You _do_ know that" she pressed.

I shook my head at her.

"Its better this way- _please_ " I begged her as she tried to say something again, my hand shot out as I gripped her wrist tight. " _Please"_ I begged.

She stilled and sighed sharply.

"I was so rooting for you two" she muttered under her breath as I let the comment slide. "he needs someone like you…".

I gritted my teeth. With another sigh she stood up and brushed her self down.

"Alright- I told Kyle about you- you gotta date on Friday next week if you still want it…" she told me sadly as I nodded.

Friday; nearly ten days away.

I nodded and swallowed.

"Thank You"

"But I still think you need to talk to him about this- this isn't going to disappear after a few days or ignoring him and going out with some other guy" she told me annoyed.

I brushed it off.

"April; I don't need you hating me right now"

She softened immediately.

"I don't- I couldn't ever hate you Bonnie- its just sad I can't talk sense into Raph" she sighed.

We went back to work, and with a change of subject I cheered up throughout the day, by 4 I was smiling again, and April was more enthused about the idea of me having a date.

"What are you going to wear?" she asked me brightly as I shrugged.

"I don't have a clue- maybe my black jeans and blazer?" I told her as she laughed.

Our phoned buzzed together in sync- a little orange light this time- we looked to each other expectantly.

"Mikey" we said together and shared a small giggle.

 _Free for dinner with us beautiful?_

I smiled at his wording. I had missed their company.

I looked to April who smiled to me gently.

"You gonna be okay with this?" she asked as I nodded.

"Of course- I gotta get used to being around him normally again."

I texted him back excitedly as I took out a breath. It had helped spilling out my heart ache to April.

We looked to each other knowingly, before turning back to finish our day's work.

I decided to text Raph- feeling a little more comfortable than usual.

 **Mikey text me for dinner tonight, I'll be down at 6.**

Less than a minute later my phone buzzed alive.

 _Cant wait to see you doll._

I gritted my teeth, my heart pounding; with a deep breath I could push it back. I tried my best to ignore out past conversation and carry on like normal. I would just have to avoid his touches from now on.

6 O' clock came around so much quicker than I had anticipated, and I had spent the rest of my day working my self up trying to deal with my feelings.

I felt silly- nothing had changed between us really, he was still my best friend- we just needed boundaries set again.

Boundaries we used to have.

I breathed out feeling silly, but as we left the little shop together- I couldn't help but glance in the mirror at my reflection and straighten out my hair.

April noticed; Casey was totally oblivious.

Reaching the lair was easier by car- the guys had a private garage that changed down into the sewer pipes that lead to a clear walk way- it still took forty minutes, but it was easier than being carried and thrown threw the air.

Mikey greeted us first as we boomed through the lair.

"ANGELCAKES! BEAUTIFUL!" April and I were pulled into a huge hug, our feet lifted from the floor as we were crushed together. I laughed at him, smiling hugely at the memory of his happy go lucky attitude.

"Hope you're in the mood for some good food" he winked to both of us as we rolled out eyes at him and laughed.

"Raph!" Casey called as he started to move forward.

All those breathing exercises, all those built up prep talks for this moment.

And none of it worked.

My heart stammered at his name, my body quivered as I looked to him with a relentless need.

My eyes pricked as they took in my seven-foot turtle who grinned a little as he looked to Casey, they slapped each others hands together and punched each other playfully.

God he was so fucking handsome…

And then Raph's eyes landed on mine.

And everything I had worked on blew up.

I was well aware everyone could hear my heart beat- hell I bet even April could. But it erratically pumped and my stomach twisted tighter than ever before.

Distance hadn't helped. It had made it so much worse.

Casey looked like he was talking to Raph, but Raph paid no attention, his bright eyes locked onto me as his mouth fell open slightly.

 _The way he looked at me- the way he took me in._

But he had said-

 _He…_

Then he was moving towards me as the others filtered away slowly. His body moving at a fast paced walk as he charged at me with purpose.

His arms took me in as I took him in too.

We gripped each other so tightly, I pressed my face into his neck and he pressed me to him, probably bruising my waist where he squeezed.

For a minute, I didn't care.

I hadn't seen him in days. And it hurt- hell it _killed_ to be away from him.

I hadn't realised just _how much_ I had missed him. Which was bad considering I knew I had missed him already.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt myself being lifted from the floor, I breathed in his scent as he took me in, his face buried into my neck. A smile took over my face unable to stop it.

"Missed ya" he mumbled "missed ya so fucking much"

And it confused me. All of it confused me.

 _WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! STOP!_

I needed to put the barriers back up between us, my own mind understood that as it screamed at me, drowning as my heart won. It was so easy to fall heavily into this again. But I needed to put them back between us.

Friends and nothing else. It's how he worked and its what I needed.

No more heart break.

With a sad breath I pulled back sharply, dropping my arms and I took a step back from him with a forced small smile.

I tried my best to not ogle him the way I usually would. I tried everything I could.

And he noticed, his face twisted again like it did that night he had told me we didn't match; that we were incompatible.

"How's things?" I breathed evenly. He watched me unsure, his shoulders dropping at my sudden departure from him.

"All good I guess" he shrugged as I nodded.

"Good"

"Ya been busy wid stuff dis week?" he asked rubbing his neck.

I nodded again. "yeah- shit ton of homework for college and April's been keeping me busy in the shop- I need the cash at the minute" I told him.

Through pained eyes we watched each other unnaturally- it was the hardest thing we had ever done.

"Bonnie!" Donnie called as I turned immediately to look at him. I grinned and smiled towards him- that felt more natural as I breathed out a breath of relief.

"Hey Donatello!"

"How's the phone working?" he asked, as I nodded to him and held it out.

"Perfectly- but I'm sure you've been _dying_ to put that upgrade on" I told him with a point. He smiled showing me his teeth as I giggled.

"Come on- I'll show you"

We headed to the dining room where everyone sat. I waved a small wave to Leo who told me it was 'good to see me'. I vaguely felt Raph following me and watching me as we went.

As Donnie worked on my phone and chatted lightly I turned my attention back to Mikey who was singing happily to himself as he cooked.

"What you making Mikey?" I asked crossing my arms. It had occurred to me that Raph had laid his hand under the table again. And I didn't trust myself to touch him that way without feeling a thousand butterflies.

I locked my jaw as his eyes watched me confused- expectantly.

"Were having my homemade veggie lasagne beautiful- stuffed with cheese" he said as I nodded.

"You guys _really_ like Italian food huh?" I asked them all.

"Mostly pizza- Were carb heavy" Donnie added with a shrug- his glasses pointing down to my phone in his hands as he worked.

"But don't worry beautiful- we burn it off with… _extra_ activities" Mikey said with a wink as I shook my head.

He didn't mean it _\- "we don't date…"_ I remembered…

The pain edged in a little

 _Go away… not now…_

"What do you like to eat Bonnie?" Leo asked politely as I looked up.

"oh god…I'm a sucker for Chinese takeout…but a good burger's never too far from my list" I told him as he scrunched his nose up at me.

"what?" I laughed under my breath.

"Leo's part veggie beautiful- no meat, fucking _pain_ to cook for" Mikey told me as I looked to him in surprise.

"really?...but you're so…" I trailed off my head with a shake. "Athletic" I added correcting my words. Beside me Raph tensed tight. I Ignored it- "Surely you need meat every now and again for protein?" I added.

"I'm not veggie" Leo rolled his eyes at his younger brother- "I just go periods when I cut back on meat, better for the body and mind" he added as I rolled my eyes.

"well all I know is a good burger and a good beer is good for the _soul_ " I laughed and the others did too.

"Ahem to that cousin" Casey added with a nod.

My eyes flicked down as Raph's hand moved. It was now gripping his chair tightly- his fingers bending the wood impossibly.

I looked away from him and clamped my jaw together again.

Boundaries. He would just have to deal with it.

Dinner carried on the same as normal- I messed with his brothers, and did my best to keep my attention on Raph to a minimum.

April was the only one who seemed to watch our interaction carefully. I did my best to ignore her too.

"We're gonna watch a movie if you guys wanna join?" Mikey asked You can sit in my lap beautiful if you're scared" Mikey winked.

I rolled my eyes.

"Thanks for the offer Mike, but I'll be fine sat on my own"

This time Raph didn't growl, but just sat watching me. I sighed knowing I was being cruel to him. He hadn't done anything wrong… _really…_

 _Just lead me to believe he could somehow love me back through his actions…_

I sighed. It was confusing and tough. But we needed to get passed this.

Or at least I did.

"Me and Raph can do the dishes tonight" I offered with a smile, when they went to protest I insisted again "'it's the least I can do" I told them as they all smiled to me in thanks.

Raph grumbled.

My heart hammered- but I kept looking away from him. I couldn't turn back round and run into his arms like normal.

The little kitchen fell quiet as we worked silently, I washed and he dried, his huge frame towered over me. With every plate our fingers brushed purposefully- as Raph noticed the difference in me, trying to grab my attention. After a second cup, he looked to me with pained eyes.

"'ave I done somet'in ta upset ya?" he asked as he breathed out to me. I looked down at the sink as I continued to wash plates.

"Don't be silly Raph; I've just been busy that's all…some weeks are like that"

"cept you use ta talk ta me about dem weeks- _jeeze_ , ya 'avent even tried to wind me up once" he said, his tone smooth but edged.

I shrugged.

"Guess I haven't really had the time" I breathed to him. I handed him a cup, only this time his hand moved over mine- stopping my movements, keeping me still and in place.

My face flicked round to his. His body so close to mine. My heart thudded so hard for him. My face burned red.

His hand smoothed over mine gently as I felt my self falling again; deep into the trap as he watched my eyes, trying to figure me out.

 _"_ _we don't date humans…eva"_

I swallowed and turned back to the sink; dropping the cup from my grip as he caught it in his own. I shoved both of my hands into the sink and continued to wash.

I tried my best not to look at Raph's face; which seemed pained.

I didn't understand it; how could he go from acting like we were a couple, to telling me we would never be one…

How could he play with me like that?

I swallowed again and continued to wash; this time placing the plates and cups on the outer-rim of the sink for him to pick up.

He noticed my change of movement almost immediately. But we stayed silent- just doing our jobs as we stayed connected just working with each other.

I could feel the cracking in my heart again.

Gripping onto the little sanity I had left.

With the last dish I dried my hands on the dish towel Raph handed me and I walked narrowly away from him.

"So what ya wont even touch me now?" he growled to me as I spun on my heels turning back to look at him.

My teeth gritted together sharply. I eyed him up.

"What's the matta wid ya?" he pushed and I could feel the words rising up my system, getting ready to snap at him- the anger, the confusion, the frustration.

I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to shake him.

 _Why would you tell me you wouldn't date a human?_

 _Why would you touch them and hold them before doing that?_

 _Why would you make me fall in love with you when you're never going to return it?_

Instead I stayed poised as I looked up to him. My eyes pained. He walked towards me and again; I took a step back.

His entire body broke into a sharp spasm as he grabbed a cup from the sink and threw it to the floor. He growled out in frustration.

His anger reminded me of something else as I looked to the little cup, the memory bringing the fear back.

He looked up to me in shock as he lifted his hands to the air.

"mm sorry- you know a wouldn't eva-" I cut him off. My hand found his arm.

I tried to stop my self doing it but I couldn't. It was the most natural thing for me to do to him.

He needed to calm down.

And friends could still do that right?

Even if one friend was hurt and breaking inside.

"its fine" I breathed, looking down at my hand on his arm, my fingers splayed over his green skin. The warmth of his muscles flexed under my hand.

"Tell me what a did…" he breathed to me in pain. he stepped in and I froze, my eyes lifted to his face, my body on auto pilot.

I wanted this all week; I had craved his touch and my touch on him all week long.

I needed just a minute more of this- just to keep me going this week.

But then my stomach pooled and I kicked myself in my gut.

 _No more. Boundaries remember? It will get easier…_

I stepped back again and shook my curls.

"I just need time Raph that's all; don't worry…its just a funny week" I told him.

But before he could answer me again, I spun on my heels and left the room. Not wanting him to answer me.

As I entered the sitting room, I could see Mikey bouncing up and down to his older brothers.

"Can we go? I'm so psyched over this one" Mikey added.

Leo rolled his eyes as did Donnie.

"Yeah yeah Mikey- last time we snuck in you dropped pizza on the court" Leo added with a point of his finger.

"Accident's happen- I'll be more careful this time! _Please_ Leo can we? can we? can we?!" Mikey begged as Leo sighed.

" _Yes-_ we can go Mike"

He jumped excited.

"you guys coming too?" Leo added looking to April.

"We're away- going to visit my aunt for the night, but thanks for the offer though" she said as Casey crossed his arms and grumbled tightly.

"She's ill Casey, stop being a baby" she added as Casey grumbled again and pouted. I laughed at him.

"Bonnie? You free?" Leo asked, all eyes fell on me.

"where you going?" I asked as I walked over to them

"There's a basket ball game next Friday, we go sit in the 'jumbo-tron'…its pretty cool"

"Oh its so cool beautiful! You would LOVE it" Mikey winked. I was about to tell them I was free excitedly, and that I would love to go- but April beat me to it.

"She can't go- she's gotta _daaatteee"_ April said wiggling her eyebrows.

I blushed heavily and looked to the side-

Away from Raphael.

The air changed around us instantly, a wave of unsteadiness hit the air and a shuffle moved over everyone. Casey looked up.

"A date? With who?" he pressed unsure.

"Kyle Walter…the old manager of the news station I used to work at- he's nice…pretty funny…" April's eyes were sharp on Raph's with every few glances as I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Ya neva mentioned 'im"

My feet instantly spun to look at Raph- my eyes pained as my breaths came in shallow slow movements.

"I've never met him…it's a blind date- April is setting me up"

I met his face; it was angry, but withheld behind a layer of pain.

"Ya said ya didn't wanna date….dat no one would want ya…" he spouted out smoothly as his words hit the air, burning me a little more- my eyes filled with a small layer of tears that couldn't fall as I grit my teeth.

"'I'm not _wanted_ …maybe I got sick of ' _no one'_ not wanting me…."

I turned away from him but its hand stopped my shoulder quickly. I looked back at him with strong burning anger.

His face was pained, confused and angered. He opened his mouth to me in frustration as growling words fell out of it.

"S _omeone_ might..." he called gruffly; angrily with gritted teeth.

"Yeah, except _someone doesn't_ date" I muttered bitterly. " _Someone_ looked me dead in the eye and told me that we _don't_ mix…and wouldn't… _ever_ "

No one seemed to notice- but Raph, who was stood close to me heard the comment. His head lifted up, his eyes wider in realisation.

 _"_ _Dat's what all dis is ova?!"_

Everyone turned to look at him in alarm.

I froze.

 _"_ _Ya angry ova dat?!"_ he pressed hard as I turned to face him with wild hurt eyes.

"Not here. Not now" I pushed him in a deep tone.

"No- I think now is a good a time as any _princess…ya fuckin' me off because I said dat?!"_

"Its not just the words Raph! I mean…its _everything!_ \- you don't say that when…when" I tried to word it but I didn't know how to say it. But I couldn't. not here in front of everyone. Not when he had just yelled at me in front of them.

"Yo Raph, ya wanna get out of my cousins face?" Casey sat up eyeing us protectively.

We both turned to look at him sharply.

" _Shut up Casey_ " we both growled out. Raph spun back round to face me as I stepped up to him our eyes just as mad as each other's.

"When what? Ya playin' wid me coz I told ya about us an' humans…its pretty obvious we don't mix, _ya dunce_!"

That really pushed me over the edge.

"What the fuck **_am I_** Raph?!" I bellowed. A silence spread throughout the room. Everyone froze. Even Casey. I could feel my tears building.

"So its okay for you to tell _me_ that you'll never date- that you wouldn't _ever_ date a human…basically saying _they_ don't matter to you… _they_ would never interest you that way" I pressed hard, my eyes welling with hot angry tears.

"I think we should go…" Leo's voice was quiet as the others in the room slowly started to filter out. April grabbed Casey's shoulder but he shrugged out of it.

"I'm not leaving her with him!" he pushed. Raph snarled.

"As if a would eva 'urt her you jackass" he breathed at him.

"Now your picking a fight with anyone!" I exasperated at him. He turned back to me and growled out.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO 'ERE DOLL, YA PISSIN' ME OFF! AN' I DON'T GET IT"

"HOW CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHY IM SO UPSET WITH YOU?!" I yelled straight back, my eyes wild.

"COZ IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE! YA NOT MAKIN SENSE! I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE DAT!"

I turned on my feet, my teeth gritted.

"Guess I'm too stupid and too _human_ for you…right Raph?" I breathed out low to him. I crossed my arms as my chest imploded.

"What…what ya sayin' doll?" he breathed to me, his eyes much softer.

And I couldn't bare it.

"I'm saying exactly what you did…that we _don't_ match…that we wont _ever_ match… _ever"_

I pushed back the tears as I looked dead into his eyes. He froze; not sure what to say or do.

A silence ran over us.

And I couldn't bare it any longer.

I took off, sprinting away before anyone else could say anything. I turned back down the corridor I had came from earlier and flew up the stairs.

I ran down the little sewer pipe walk way as the tears were coming back. My heart raced in my chest as a sob filled me, the pain unbearable as it came hurtling back to me.

I ran as best as I could, the rain- beat down onto my face as I ran most of the way home. My hair soaked and my clothes sodden as the storm picked up around me.

I cried as I went- my sobs rolling in the thunder outside as I breathlessly began climbing my stairwell.

Thank god for adrenaline. Thank god my building was only a twenty-minute run.

As I got into my apartment I threw my bag down onto the floor and fell onto my couch with a sob. The pain hurtled back to me as I flung my head down into my hands.

I breathed deeply, my tears streaming.

None of this would work- and it confused me so much.

Everything I was frightened of happening was happening; and there was nothing I could do about it.

Then a cracking sound on my door had me standing- and I turned to see my balcony door wide open; my curtains whipped in the wind as a soaked Raph stood opposite me, glaring at me with his shoulders rising and falling deeply, shaking with the cold rain.

"So ya say _dat_ an' then ya jus' fucked off?! AGAIN?!" he roared.

Raph stood, looking at me in pain, his hands flared out in agony as he watched me. He walked towards me sharply.

I turned to look at him drying my eyes.

"What else do you want me to do RAPH?!" I gasped as his eyes widened even further, anger bubbling up in them.

"Are ya fuckin' serious?! You go all fuckin' weird on me, ya don't wanna see me- come up wid any excuse ya can to avoid me- fuckin' talk to my bro's ova me- _ignore every chance_ I get ta touch ya-ya _neva did before_ \- an' den you say all of dat…WHAT THE FUCK?!" He growled.

I jumped a little, but the anger stayed. I stayed furious and confused.

"You know what Raph; _go fuck yourself_!" I growled back to him sharply.

"YOU don't have ANY right to come in here, YOU DON'T have ANY idea what it was like when you told me that to me!" I moved closer to him- angrier, furious as my hands raised up and fell sharply in frustration.

"I dunno how you could take it _da wrong way_!" he growled.

"OH fuck OFF Raph- how _could I not_?!" I growled out. "God it doesn't even matter anyway…I've got a date next week; I don't need this" I breathed out pinching my nose.

He looked up to me angrily again; jealousy all over his face.

"Don't you _dare_ look at me like that" I threatened. "We don't **_match_** \- remember" I pressed hard. His mouth opened as his shoulders hunched tight- emotion danced across his face. "Your fucking words" I growled out to him.

"I didn't mean it _like dat_!"

"Well you had no problem saying it to me! No problem telling me about it!"

His body shook.

 _"_ _I meant in general ya idiot!"_ he growled as I turned to look at him

"Well maybe _I_ mean it out of _general terms_!" I pushed with a growl, a few tears dripped out as he stood up tall and waved his hands out at me.

"So All dat shit about bein' honest, an' lookin' at me in dat way, an' touchin' me an' flirtin wid me-' makin' me t'ink dat-"

I could feel the scream coming from deep in my chest.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!" I bellowed out at him "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!" my voice scraped into a scream. "THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING TO ME!"

I gasped out my eyes wild. My hands found his chest as I shoved him.

"I THOUGHT YOU _WANTED_ ME! I THOUGHT YOU _COULD LIKE_ ME BUT THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN YOUR TELLING ME YOU GUYS DON'T DATE- YOU AND HUMANS DON'T MATCH- WELL LOOK AT ME RAPH. IM _HUMAN!"_

I shook violently as the words left me viciously.

"And for the record you dumb _fucking turtle_ -" I spat out- that seemed to hit the nail in his head.

"-YOU DON'T HUG AND HOLD SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN – YOU DON'T TOUCH THEM AND MAKE THEM THINK YOU WANT THEM IF YOUR NOT INTERESTED." My heart beat slammed so hard in my chest. My hand shoved towards him as it found his chest, I shoved him hard- twice, his physically shook underneath my fingers as my hands grappled at him.

"YOU DON'T CALL THEM BEAUTIFUL AND MAKE THEM FEEL SO FUCKING LOVED IF YOU DON'T WANT THEM RAPH!"

I couldn't see him, only feel him as my eyes closed in hot anger. I paced, my eyes locked down on his form.

"Do you have any idea what it was like when you held me and touched me?" my hands ran over my arms and body as my head rolled back "God it was EVERYTHING to me- _EVERYTHING_ …and for you to tell me that it wasn't ever going anywhere…that none of this was important to you" I laughed humourlessly, toxically.

"Was I just interesting for you _to look_ at? A little human for you to mess with and hold...like I was some kind of pet to you? Is that what I am? Is that how you ' _superior'_ ninja turtles view us?!" I pressed knowing I was speaking poisonous things, and I didn't care. He had hurt me- he had played with me so much, and I didn't understand it.

"Don't-" He growled out- he was purring, but it was a different kind of purr- like a motorbike before it takes off. He physically shook in the room as he watched me, his face twisted into his dark look I had never seen before. His eyes were black; nearly all the colour in them gone. I ignored it, spouting off on my own long droned rant that I had suppressed for the longest of times.

I needed this. I needed the freedom to empty out my hurt to him. He needed to hear it.

"Well you know what?" I pushed. My hand went to shove him again. "Maybe this _human_ couldn't _ever_ date a _fucking_ _turtle_ "

I span back around away from him and it all happened in less than 10 seconds.

The snap came from him.

He grabbed my wrist in his hand tight as I gasped.

Pain shot down my arm.

And instantly he froze.

My wrist in his grip splashed in pain.

His face horrified. His hand retracted immediately, his body falling backwards as he shook himself away from me.

I hadn't ever seen him look so terrified. And it broke everything else in me.

My anger snapped away, my frustration evaporated. My words piling back on me making me realise how horrible I had been; how stupid I had been, how everything I said didn't matter.

Immediately he was gone- the breeze blowing my curtains wildly to me.

Hot tears flashed down my face.

My entire being broke.

"N-No" I whispered, scrambling out onto my balcony in the rain and wind. My hair whipped across my face as I looked around for him. My eyes blurred by rain and tears.

Without thinking, I scrambled down my fire escape and along the alley ways. I looked up to the roof tops; he had to be up there some where.

I scrambled quickly to the near by building, clambering up the fire escape of another building as I jumped and threw my body up and over things. With a growl I hauled my self up on the snippy balcony edges.

My wrist ached, my lungs burned and my legs were like jelly as I scrambled and rushed to the roof top of the high story building.

At the top I could see my roof tops below, a breath flashed out of me; hot and ragged as I tried to suck down a breath into my shaking system.

 ** _"RAPH!_** ** _"_** my voice scraped as thunder raked above. A flash of lightening scattered the sky making me jump as I growled again.

 ** _"RAPHAEL!_** ** _"_**

Another roll of hot tears flew from me, my insides burned and bubbled as I sobbed out his name over and over; my eyes searched the thunderous skies in hope to see him.

I flicked my head round backwards and forewords hoping for something.

Then there- left, a shadow, bandana tails- two buildings away.

 ** _"RAPHAEL!_** ** _"_** I screamed at the top of my lungs, my voice burning and screaming for him.

His figure slumped, his body slow.

I couldn't wait any longer.

I sprinted over the rooftop as best as my soaked shoes could take me, only stopping when I come to the edge. With a growl I looked down. My senses alert and burning.

I could jump that- the gap was less than a meter- I could do it. My eyes looked up to the slumped body.

I had to.

I stepped back nervous and then with a feral growl dashed forward my feet leaving the secure concrete roof as I reached for the next one.

I felt sick, my heart hammered- my body shaking as I landed finally with a thump, falling to the ground harshly, as I pulled my body back around lifting my self from the floor. My eyes locked onto the now more visible figure.

It was definitely him.

I sprinted across again, my vision spotting as my un-exercised body burned, my legs shook, feeling my self pushed on adrenaline and surges and spurts of worry.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I made note to take up jogging again.

The wind howled against me, thrashing at my now straw like hair which flitted across my vision, layers and layers of rain drops fell tight against my eyes as I looked around nervous and terrified.

The next roof top along and I could see him.

Then to make things so much worse, I could see his slumped figure was no longer alone.

Two stealth figures, only showing up when the sky lit with lightening moved across slowly towards him; guns in their hands.

I gasped and screamed.

Not him. Not my Raph.

That's when I felt something I had never felt before; a burning- hot and tight- pulling me as I growled out loudly. A new surge of adrenaline and emotion that moved me like an animal.

I growled out, as my hands clawed at anything around me, fumbling and scraping at the concrete viciously as I shook.

 _Not him._

I grabbed a loose metal pole and yanked it out.

 _Not him._

I sprinted the fastest I had ever gone against the wind and the water and the thunder.

 _Not him._

They moved towards him. I carried on bailing over, running the roof top as I clambered and climbed and jumped. I reached the edge of the new roof, fear spread like wildfire as more tears fell.

 _Not him._

I pushed on my eyes locked onto the characters; knowing they were not paying note of me- they were looking at Raph.

I backed up again and jumped, harder this time, hauling my chunk of a body over to the other side.

It was a little further, but I still made it. I rolled as I landed unprofessionally, slobbishly as I hit the turf, pain searing my forearm and shoulder as it scraped down against the concrete floor.

Luckily thunder growled again as the wind whistled, masking my loud fall to the ground.

I got up, not wasting any time as I crouched round looking for them. They were nearly in front of him. I could hear their voices taunting at him.

"Lost your voice now turtle? Ha! Turned into the _animal_ you are"

"Master will be pleased we have caught one"

I couldn't wait anymore. I moved swiftly behind them, carefully; I could now see Raph's face.

It was unlike anything I had ever seen before; the pain in his eyes stared hard at his hands which lay open on his lap. His body slumped like he was made of clay.

His mouth was open slightly as rain dripped from his lips.

I had caused this. I had made him feel that way.

And I hated my self for it.

The guys raised the gun up to Raph as they barked out a command to him.

"Stand"

He didn't, he stayed frozen. And it was only then when I noticed his arms- sliced across harshly, blood tumbling out smoothly; his Sai's laying in his lap loosely, the ends of them tarnished with his blood.

"No" I whispered. The anger seeping back in, the pain rolling to me uncontrollably.

I couldn't bare it.

With the two soldiers backs to me, I gripped the metal pole in my hand tight crouching behind a large sub-electric fan that sat on the roof top. I moved around it carefully, my feet struggling to do as I wanted them too.

But then the surge of hurt bellowed out to me as one of them loaded their gun, the safety clicked off.

I moved.

It happened so fast, my body working on primal instinct as I swung the pole to their heads harshly. One dropped instantly.

The other turned to look but I thrust the pipe out into his face, the crunch of his nose oddly familiar as he reeled back and blood fell down his face.

I snapped the pole back in my hand and thrust it round the back of his head. It clunked as the soldier fell to the ground. Blood and rain washing his face away.

I kicked them both hard as I turned, pulling the guns away from them.

I turned back to Raph. He sat the same, his eyes dead.

I moved over to him.

"Raph" I called weakly, a sob in my mouth lined up. "Raph please" my hands round his arms, his forearms as I rubbed them down.

I looked to my palms, they were red with blood.

"What did you do?" I whimpered out with a heavy shake in my voice.

"What did you do Raph?" I pushed. He didn't answer me; just looked down in absolute horror.

And then he moved just a little. His mouth slammed shut as his eyes squeezed together tightly.

And for the first time I had ever expected; a sob rolled from him. A heavy deep sob as his tears fell from his eyes.

I was immediately in his lap, my legs straddling his sitting up figure as he stayed still. He was so vulnerable, so weak here.

And I had caused it.

I put both my hands on his face tightly, bringing his eyes to my face.

"I'm so sorry; I'm so so sorry- all of this is my fault…if I hadn't been…if I hadn't gotten so bitchy about what you said then…" I shook my head letting my own tears fall. I held his face tightly in my hands, the rain thumping down between us as he looked at me in pain.

"No" he whispered out to me "I 'urt ya…I promised ya no one would…and I _grabbed_ ya…I…"

He growled out a feral growl under my hands as his own hands and arms shook; the deep scratches caused by his sais shook as he reached round to claw at them again in frustration- to cause himself harm.

"Stop it right now; _stop_ " I told him grabbing his arms to still them. His face inches from mine as I looked to him sobbing my heart out.

It was only then when one of the soldiers grumbled lazily.

"We have to go" I told him in a whisper. "Please Raph"

"You go…let 'em get me…let 'em _shoot me_ …."

I growled out at him as I grabbed his face harshly, tightly- pulling his eyes round to look at me.

"FUCKING STOP THAT _RIGHT NOW"_ I told him, I shook with anger, my fingers probably bruising his cheeks as his lips squished together in my grip. His worn out and dead eyes looked onto me tightly.

"I DON'T care what happened before. I just want you _home_ " I told him. "If you die; I die- I can't _live_ without you Raph- I'm not going back without _you_ " I told him firmly. I clawed at his cheeks.

 _"Please"_ I begged.

That's when a gun clicked behind me, and my eyes spread with fear. Raph's seemed to wake up as well as I turned my head slowly to view the gun at the side of us; the guard who's nose I had cracked open, stood spitting blood out to the floor; his left eye where I had hit him was swollen too- blood seeping from his socket.

My arms held on tighter to Raphael.

"You're gonna pay for that _turtle whore_ "

The gun swished over to me in an instant.

* * *

 **Ooooooo Okay guys...**

 **Another cliff hanger! Hows everyone holding up?**

 **What do we think of that then?!**

 **Poor Raph...**

 **Poor Bonnie...**

 **This chapter had my emotions everywhere!**

 **How did you feel?**

 **You know what to do!**

 **I'll try not to keep you all in the dark for too long...**

 **Owl x**


	15. The solider, The apartment

Everything blurred.

Raph moved viciously, a hiss so loud on his tongue unlike anything I had ever seen, his body alive again- but feral.

He had grabbed the gun and thrust it from the guys hands across the roof tops.

Then he had his incredible locked grip on the soldiers throat.

He was growling; animalistic and frantic as all of his teeth bared. His eyes dark and hollow. The soldier's fear spread through him; the unbelieving terror at how still this turtle had been, to now being in his death grip.

He didn't waste any time.

And it was then I heard the crack.

Like snapping a tooth pick.

The soldiers head lulled to the side unnaturally and in a second his spat out a large amount of thick blood.

My eyes shot down to Raph's other hand- one of his Sai's had sliced through the gut of the now dangling soldier.

It was over so quickly.

A breath fell out of me, ragged and shaky as I took in the sight.

And then he dropped the solider.

And he rolled to the floor; dead.

Oddly, relief hit me first. Then worry- Raph was eractic and injured and angry. The world was against him.

And I needed him so desperately to come home with me.

But then he seemed to have no choice.

As the other guard seemed to rise up from his dizzied state- having witnessed the entire thing, and turned his gun on us.

There was no time to stop him.

Then we were moving.

And everything blurred again for the second time.

I was pulled up and whipped up in Raph's arms as bullets scattered across his shell.

I yelped as we moved; hurtling down and across buildings as we flew.

Getting away from the soldiers.

His body pummelling and sprinting quicker than I had ever seen him go.

It was only then when I realised how far from home we were; how fast Raph had fled the scene. We dived round another corner; my body thrown and my legs tight as we tumbled and fell viciously and erratically.

Once we were far enough away Raph stopped; his hold on me unbelievably tight, his eyes wide in alarm. His huge orbs covering every square inch of the 365 view around us; checking. His face hard, his heart stammering violently.

As did mine.

We stayed like that in the shadows with his shell pressed tight against the back of a wall, his hands on my body lifting me from the ground, shaking a little as I felt my blood pulse from underneath them.

I could feel his terror. His fright when both guns turned on me. I could feel his turmoil. How much he wanted to return and do the same to the other guard who had threatened me.

I could feel his pain- both physically and emotionally, as his bleeding arms spread red blood like ink, over my body and across my clothes. His actions had made it flow faster.

Both rain and blood mixing together soaking us.

After a few minutes he looked down at me, his gaze no less stronger than the one he watched the world with. His eyes searching, his mouth still tight as I looked to him.

Luckily, I was uninjured; well, I was bullet free if that counted. My scraped body from falling from the roof still ached and the speed at which Raph wrapped me up in still loomed on me.

My wrist still ached too- but that wasn't even worth thinking about now. It was irrelevant.

He seemed to relax the smallest of inch when he settled. His shoulders dropped a half inch. But his face the same, his hands still tight on me, holding me as if I would vanish into air.

Like if he didn't move when he did...

If I hadn't stopped those soldiers when I had...

His eyes spoke words to me as mine did him.

 _I could have lost you..._

 _" **Home** Raph... **please** " _I whispered somehow, my stinging eyes locking onto his as his body responded to my plea. He looked down to me, his eyes terrified.

I understood immediately.

"I don't care, you saved me. You had to- now take us _**home, please**_ "

It took three checks before he moved.

Only when Raph had checked a fourth time, to ensure we were safe, did we return to my apartment.

* * *

Raph lifted me onto my balcony as I felt my feet hit the ground for the first time in forty minutes. My breath fell out of me as I rolled in exhausted. But I kept tight hold on him- pulling him inside with me as the darkness of the room coated us. I closed my curtains shielding us in the little room together.

A puddle of water followed us in as we stood for a minute in the dark- going back over what had just happened in our heads as I caught my breath.

Raph was silent and if it wasn't for my hold on him, I could have been sure he wasn't there. But the wetness under my fingers on his arms kept me alert and told me I needed to fix him up.

Now.

I moved with him pulling him into my kitchen as I switched the light on; it didn't work- I flicked the little switch on and off twice- the power must have gone down in the storm.

"Powers gone" I whispered as I moved to fumble in my draw for the little candles April had given me. The creak behind me told me Raph had slumped down into chair as I sighed in relief knowing he hadn't bolted away.

Luckily it didn't take me too long to find the candles as I placed them shaking, around the kitchen and lit them, letting the soft glow fill the room.

I grabbed my first aid box from on top of the refrigerator again.

I sat down into the empty seat next to Raph; his face still drawn, tired and hurt.

My hands found his arms as he let me pull them free and lay them on the table. There were scratches and cuts deep from his sharp Sai as he looked down at them. My hands found his cuts as I began dabbing them with the soft soaked cotton. He didn't even cringe like usual.

Tears ran down our faces freely.

"Why would you do this?" I whispered out as I brushed them caringly.

"Had ta…" he mumbled out flatly, his face as dead as that solider's. "A needed ta 'urt…"

Tears dripped down my face as my soaking clothes dripped down to the floor.

I cried silently as I washed his cuts and using my good hand, I bandaged them up; he sat silently, letting me do so I as removed all his other arm wear. His arms now bare as he watched my hands work the white clean cotton wrap, around his huge building arms.

When I had finished I looked at my work; my tears never ceasing like running currents. I felt horrendous- the guilt and the sadness and the tiredness all adding to my delicate state. I looked up at his Sai which now lay bloody on the table. I understood why he could do that; I had felt a _need_ like that before- to be able to spill the pain out from inside.

I needed to share his hurt. Through my tears and wobbling lips I reached out for one.

I needed to feel the hurt I had caused him. I pulled it towards me almost in a haze when I felt hands stop me.

"Let me hurt too, like you- _I can't stand it_ " I breathed to him heavily.

I looked up to Raph; he had me all worked out as he angrily, through a teary expression shoved them both off the table and to the floor with a clatter.

My insides curled in pain; burning and pushing.

And I sobbed. I cried heavily as I eyed up his arms, my hands running down them and over his arms as he let me; his dark wet eyes watching me as loose tears dripped down his face.

Instantly I pushed the chair I was in out from under me and fell down towards him; into his lap. He let me, holding me loosely as he his face twisted in torment.

His eyes were harsh as he cringed and shook his head.

"I coulda _killed_ ya…I coulda-am a fuckin' monsta..."

"Stop... _please_ …stop" I begged him as I wrapped my arms around him tightly shuffling around to face him in his lap until I straddled him again loosely in the chair. His face so blank and expressionless as I grabbed his cheeks in my hands.

"Stop…" I breathed.

We held each other close as my eyes looked down to his arms. His torn face still ghosted in pain as I cried into him.

He was warm and breathing. Something that if I didn't chase after him or if I hadn't of seem him when I did- wouldn't have been the case.

"You could have _died_ …and I wouldn't have ever seen you again…" I sobbed out. I leaned into him, wrapping him up in the tightest hold I could, my entire body clinging to his life-filled form.

He moved his head slightly to breathe in my scent, but didn't dare touch me.

We stayed like that for a long time. I couldn't be sure, but it didn't matter- our heads were too busy processing what had happened in the last few hours.

My little phone buzzed and I jumped. Raph froze. I pulled it out from my pocket. I had completely forgotten about it.

A blue light- Leo.

He needed to know what was going on. He needed to know we were safe; he must have been going crazy.

"Hello?" I breathed out low- trying to hide my scattered heartbeat which was still hammering from exhaustion.

"Where are you both? Are you safe? Raph left his phone and I couldn't reach you with the signal and all the weather-" Leo's voice was alert and fast.

I cut him off.

"We're at my apartment…" I eyed Raph up as he carried on staying frozen. "We got caught in the storm" I put my hand on my forehead as I twisted the truth to him easily.

A quiet mumble on the other end of the line.

"Is everything okay with you two?"

I looked to him with painful eyes. My own stupidity had caused this, my own self doubt had hurt him. And him being the hot head that he was- we just added to the mess.

We needed to talk.

"We're talking" I told him as I swallowed with a nod.

"He hasn't been aggressive has he? He can get-" Leo asked worried and beside me Raph physically cringed, as his eyes opened the painful look swan out to the table again. I growled over the top of him. Pulling Raph's face back to mine; his eyes back on me as I spoke firmly.

" _Not at all_ \- we just got angry… _I_ just got angry…things happened because of that- but it's over, the horrible stuff's over now" I told them both honestly searching Raph's eyes constantly. I could hear Leo breathe deeply into the phone.

"I promised you I wouldn't ever hurt him and there I was yelling at him" I spoke low into the phone. Raph's eyes focused in- his face still grave but his eyes softer. A loose tear dripped down my face "I'm so _sorry_ Leo"

"its alright…Raph can be a bit… _difficult_ to understand every now and again…I get that" his voice was even and understanding, and for a minute I wondered what I had done to deserve his kindness.

"I don't want him going out in that storm again; not alone- I can come and meet him to bring him home if-"

I cut him off.

"He can stay here with me…weathers really bad, you're not going out running about loose either, I _want_ him to stay" I told him in a horsed voice as another tear loosened.

A minute of silence passed.

"Is Raph there?"

I looked to him. His face stiff- his eyes lost an unsure, but it was better than the dead he had expressed in them before.

Raph reached for the phone as I placed it in his hand.

"Hey" he breathed; his voice sounded so good. I could briefly hear Leo's mumbles but I tuned them out, I turned getting off from Raph's lap and headed to light a few more candles around my little apartment to light it up.

The living room was filled with a soft glow as I used all light sources I could find that I could power with battery or flame.

It made the room seem comfier and confined. Everything easier.

I walked passed the kitchen and headed into the bedroom, my ears listening to Raph's mumbles to his brother.

"Yeah…I know…I know…" he was so soft, speaking so gently. My insides curled again and my cheeks wet with a few more loose tears. The stress of the day still burning dully.

In my room I stripped from my wet clothes and footwear- finding soft and warm Pj's that were loose and comfy.

I hunted in the bottom of my wardrobe for something for Raph- anything big enough that I could fashion into pants or clothes.

I decided on grabbing two throws and headed back into the living room.

He was no longer sat at the kitchen table but stood over my balcony door; a flash or terror spread through me as I thought he was leaving, only then to realise- he had used his old arm tie I had taken off to secure the lock on the door tightly. The lock had snapped and broke when he had barged into the room angrily earlier on.

I didn't like thinking back to it.

Upon hearing my feet creak on the floor board, Raph turned around- his expression seemed much more collected, his body still soaked as he turned- his lips were slightly blue as I approached him.

"Give me your clothes…I'll put it in the wash" I told him in the quietest voice I could muster, handing him the throws I had. He did as I asked as he stripped from most of his clothes, shoes and tags- only leaving on a pair of shorts which sat under his pants and weren't too badly soaked and his Mask; something told me I wouldn't get that off him just yet.

He didn't dare look at me.

When I returned to the room, he turned and we both stood stiff.

He still wouldn't look at me.

"Dat soldier...what ya seen..." he mumbled, his face drawn and unsure.

"He was a bad guy-I understand. It's over" I nodded to him.

It was the truth. I did. We had discussed it lightly before.

Although the image of his head tilting oddly could be erased from my mind.

But I seemed to click onto what Raph was saying...why he was so distraught, why he wouldn't look at me...

"I'm **not** scared of you" My voice came out stronger. More strongly than I had thought, and it was appreciated.

It got Raph to move his eyes slightly, his eyes lifted, still haunted until he finally looked down at me nervously and turned to stand up round in front of me.

My heart hammered as he towered over me. The soft glow of the light in the room adding to the intensity of his glowing eyes. His face smoother; less gruff. His eyes wider without needing to press them together.

"You are **not** a monster. **EVER"** Again my strong voice heald its own, and I was glad as it made Raph move again, bringing him out of his catatonic state.

He was totally vulnerable; totally new to this. So was I.

I stood not sure what expression I was holding as I looked up into those eyes I loved so much; that I had come to need in my life, constantly and consistently like a drug. I moved slowly into him, my feet moving forward getting so much closer to him.

His hand skimmed down over my shoulders, and then found my wrist that he had grabbed earlier. A slight bluish tint had over come it. The pain in his eyes came hurtling back. Tears dancing with pain.

" _Stop it_ " I whispered to him "You didn't mean it, you-" but I was cut off, as Raph's entire face broke. He fell to his knees in front of me; his face that of a broken soul.

His face pressed into my stomach as he leaned into me, the wetness of his tears flickered down onto my fresh top. I could feel his silent tears rushing down his face.

So I kneeled too- instantly as I grabbed his face in my hands and pulled him back to look at me. My eyes searched him and then I leaned in and rested my forehead against his. The wetness of his mask touched my forehead.

My whole body shook and doubled over. My heart beat so fast and rushing around my body as my fingers shook out as I found his shoulders. I reached for his face again as my breathing became even softer and more ragged.

"I promised ya…" he strained out to me "I promised ya…afta everyt'in ya went through…no one would-"

"No one _did_ " I pressed again, my voice stronger again as I cleared my throat. "That man would have shot me; he would have hurt me- you saved me..." my voice stammered out, finding any possible reasons to steady out this horrid night

"A-and What about me? I pushed you" I said "and- and I _hurt_ you, I beat you...h-here" I whimpered as my hands found his chest again, my fingers shaking as I breezed over his plastron feeling where my hands had pounded.

"I couldn't feel dat tho…it's so different- I coulda crushed ya…all because a was _angry_ …"

"But you _didn't_ …I shouldn't have gone off like that... I shouldn't have yelled at you or-or made you angry or gotten upset over what you said…" I cried out, a few tears dripped down my face as I breathed in raggedly.

"I-I just promised my self no more heart break after everything with _dad_ …and-and I was _so_ sure that how I was feeling and what I was doing wasn't going to cause heartbreak…t-then when you told me that… w-when you said you wouldn't ever match with me, that you wouldn't _ever_ ….it-i-i-it"

A sob rolled out of me, broken and hurt. My body gripped onto his.

"God I thought you had been just _playing_ with me this whole time" I couldn't look at him, my cheeks burned in embarrassment as I spilled out my deep insecurities, the fear, the hurt- all of it. "I thought all of this…what we had and were having was just…you _messing_ "

I shook my head, as I breathed out another soft sob.

He sighed heavily; a disappointed sound.

"I said it coz a was annoyed…all day afta bein' wid family- dey pestered me about our stuff…and when ya asked- it was jus' anotha reminda…an' I just meant it like... _you_ wouldn't want _me_ … I just shut you down like a did dem…I neva meant I didn't want ya- in all ma _fuckin'_ life times I neva meant _dat"_

We stayed quiet for a while and I became aware as his hands now lazily found my waist. My own hands found his shoulders feeling his strength coming back as I pressed my fingers into him.

"I'm such an idiot" I swallowed down in a whisper.

"Ya not…I get it now…if ya had said dat to me a woulda been broken" he breathed in a rasp. "not a fuckin' chance are ya a idiot- ya so smart, so feisty, so beautiful… _fuck_ how could ya think _I wouldn't want ya_?" he called out in shock as he looked me up over and down.

"I-…" he breathed out his words failing him as I looked back up to his face. "I…" hope flooded my system as his eyes opened up to me, his whole body softer.

"I do want ya… _all of ya_ …I 'ave for months an' _months_ "

My insides exploded. My heart exploded. My head exploded.

My entire body lit up with desire as I watched him, I knew he could hear it- I knew he could feel it; I knew he could smell it on me…

" _I want ya anyway a can_ , I can't tell ya- I t'ink bout ya all the time- like 'ow a want ya, _'ow a feel about ya_ ; real selfish...and a _shouldn't, I know._.. ya wouldn't want _me_ …but a can't stop it" he shrugged his eyes moving away. his teeth gritted as his face cringed.

"I fuckin' love ya _so 'ard_...like a didn't know 'ow bad it would get. It don't stop...and I don't eva want it to, when ya smile at me...when ya laugh,flirt wid me...fuck... _fuck...I jus'...jus'..."_ His voice trailed off as my mouth fell open ever so slightly. my body whooshed but I remained composed on my outside.

I moved my hands back round to his cheeks, pulling his masked face back round to me as I watched him carefully. We stayed silent for a minute- both our mouths open, both our eyes locked. His eyes searched mine, and I softened, spilling all my pent up feelings through them to him. His eyes seemed to focus in on me in realisation.

I could think of a million different ways to say it- in a thousand different places and ideas.

But he didn't need that. He just needed the truth- we both did.

"Raphael I'm in love with you" I smoothed out in a voice that was as quiet as a whisper. My heart shook in my ears as my head span. My whole body pooled at the words.

Here we were; everything laid out in the open- everything on display finally.

My core rocketed. He watched me in a complete awe state, as I felt more words pour out of me. His shoulders dropped, his eyes softer than I ever seen them before.

"I've been yours for _weeks…months_ " I whispered with a slight shake of my head. My head leaned in as my forehead touched his again.

"are ya…are ya sure?" he pressed. I licked my top lip in a quick manor.

"Yes; _Positive_ " I said smoothly, my face steady. "I love you in every single way I can. I want you in anyway I can" A loose tear dripped out.

He moved slowly, in a smooth rhythm as his lips touched my forehead again, softly, blissfully as I gasped out in a long breath in pleasure. My heartbeat so fast.

"ya shouldn't"

"I should. I _do._ Look at how I felt when I thought you said you didn't want me. I'm so in love with you it _hurts_ "

I caught his eyes.

"And I don't want it to stop either"

Then his fingers moved. His hand came up to grab my bruised wrist as he brought it to his mouth and kissed it gently, his huge soft lips puckered out as he rubbed my hand over his mouth caringly. His lips parted as he kissed my fingers lightly.

"Say it again" he breathed hoarsely, his lips moving over my wrist and down my arm, ghosting over my limbs. He pulled my elbow up to his lips as my forearm went to wrap around his neck, pulling me in even closer to him.

"I love you" I breathed out to him. The aura around us changed, pleasure and desperation danced in the air as I burned intensely for him, vibrations from the sensitive spots he was kissing shot down to my core, my head leaned back a little as my chest rose and fell with each touch of his lips on my body. His lips moved and kissed at my shoulder; a little spot where I had scraped it when I had thrown myself over the roof tops.

I couldn't wait anymore. I needed to touch him too. I needed to do the same as he kissed my body.

I leaned into his shoulder; my lips kissing where I had pushed him as I felt him lift back a little, letting me kiss his body too.

I could feel his heart beat under my palm as I ran my nose along the top of his collar bone- my lips feeling his chest like I had dreamed to do so.

His fingers crept under my chin, lifting my face up to his eyes. As he did so the arm that rested on his shoulder moved to grab hold of his mask- with a painful yank of my tender wrist the wet item of clothing fell off his face.

I wrapped my arms tightly around his shoulders again, he leaned down to me; mouth open, eyes wrapped in love.

"I love you _so much_ " I breathed to him again. We pressed together; hooded eyes, heart beats thumping wildly at each other, nose to beak.

His hands now cupped my face as we watched each other.

"M-me too sweetheart…I love ya… _fuck I love ya_ …I love ya more than anyone could eva love anyone… _promise_ "

And with those words, I was totally under his spell. I smiled at him weakly, my eyes tearing up in love as he mirrored my expression.

But our faces immediately dropped, as I became so aware of his lips. And he of mine.

And then we both leant in; completely over come with passion as our lips found each others desperately.

I sighed out as my lips finally touched down on his and he grunted. My insides melted. My thoughts jumbled out of me and my body curled immediately.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered if he knew what to do; but then his lips moved over mine and I was succumb with pleasure and the thought was dispelled along with everything else.

Everything inside of me echoed and twirled.

We moved around a little, angling our selves better until our lips were moving together at a slow dragging pace. Our noses rubbing together, our lips caressing each others as I gripped onto him for dear life.

I wrapped my arm tighter around his shoulders, pushing myself further in as his hands slid away from my cheeks and down my sides, curling tightly around my waist.

My body trickled in goose bumps and shook in his hold.

My mouth fell open after a few fumbles of kisses and as if obeying my demands; his did too- his mouth opening up for me as I slithered my tongue into him.

A groan fell out loose from him as I gasped, my insides on fire.

I squeezed him tighter and he responded, his tongue moved along side mine, fighting for dominance as my head span at the feel and taste of him.

"Fuck, _I love you_ " he mumbled into my mouth as I moaned and pressed into him again; my stomach spinning and flipping over as his words hit me. I found myself standing, my feet raising up from my kneeling position as I leaned over him. He leant back, sitting on his kneeling legs as I bent over to kiss him from above, my arms still as secure; my lips still glued onto his as they moved in passion.

Heat rose; the air rose around us as my body fizzed and vibrated in the hottest way. He grabbed my leg and pulled it further into him, hitching it around his side as I groaned into him.

"I love ya so much doll…" he breathed again to me.

"I love you too…" I whispered out to him. Our breaths moulding and melting into one.

The next thing I knew, Raph's hands had hooked under my legs and he had lifted me up; himself too as picked me up and pushed my body softly into the wall. My legs wrapped around the sides of his shell as best as they could as my arms which were around his neck found his face again, keeping him kissing me- keeping his flat hot tongue on mine.

He growled under my actions as the pleasure built; his hot body pressing onto me as he crushed me between the wall and himself. My face level with his- allowing me to move and push my face in different angles to taste him better. I kissed him harder, my tongue swirling with his quicker as he started to purr again.

He pulled back for a second; allowing me to gasp in a deep breath as his head nudged my face to the side, his lips now on my neck as he kissed and sucked on my skin there.

Everything was needed. Every touch and kiss. It wasn't just a want. It was a deep unnerving need that we had supressed for the longest of times.

His lips ghosted over the crevice where my neck and collar bone joined, he scraped his teeth along it tauntingly, his flat tongue falling out between them as he licked me there. I moaned out unable to hold it in.

"Oh god Raph…" I panted a little as immediately his face turned back to look at me. His heavy eyes locked onto mine; his breathing laboured like mine, his hands that sat on either one of my thighs rubbed beautifully at my legs, sending soft spasms of pleasure back down me.

He watched me as I panted slowly, my eyes focusing back on him as he moved to kiss the other side of my neck.

I wanted him; god knows I needed more than this. He could feel it too- the burning, the _longing_.

" _R-Raph_ …" I strangled out in pleasure…he nodded into my neck, biting the soft flesh there again a little harder as he growled. As if unable to wait any longer my hips bucked into his causing him to groan as a flash of hot searing pleasure travelled down my body. I did it again, another moan fell from both our lips this time.

" _fuck_ " he breathed out to me. His hands that were gripping at my thighs tightened as I I breathed in his scent. We parted for a minute; our bodies burning desperately for the question to surface.

"Have you ever…do you…" I breathed out in a deep whisper.

"Yes" he growled out sharply as I bit my lip, his dark eyes watched me worriedly, but I couldn't concentrate on the meaning of his answer. I just knew we were on the same page and I was desperate for him.

I leant in again unable to stop the pleasure in the room from causing my heightened emotions. My lips back on his in a longing soft kiss. My hands ran over his shoulders and down his arms, my fingers trailed back up his sides.

"I'm all yours" I breathed out in a whisper.

He stiffened underneath me.

"Are ya…are ya _sure_ Doll?" he breathed out.

"Yes" I said my whole body needing to be touched as I grinded into him; the pleasure and ache for him was unreal. "Fuck, yes _please_ "

He didn't need told again as my lips found his again and he lifted me from the wall, carrying me in exactly the same way as we walked, eyes closed drunkenly falling in love with each other over and over as we kissed sloppily, passionately- our kisses expressions of our want for more.

I breathed longingly as he watched me with bright eyes, his tongue flicked out across his bottom lip as he looked at me. His foot kicked open my bedroom door as darkness spilled out over us, and our need carried on further...

* * *

 **Ahhhh!**

 **So what do we think?!**

 **Yes? No?**

 **FINALLY?**

 **I felt this was the right move for them, after months and months of pining for each other, for it all to come to spiralling out.**

 **What do you think going to happen next?**

 **That poor solider- but you don't mess with Raph's girl...**

 **I love reading about where you think the story will go now- what will their families say? will they know? What will happened next!**

 **Hope you guys are enjoying the story!**

 **Im taking one of my reviewers advice and adding in an M chapter next as an addition- It details up the story a little more but dont feel like you need to read it if its not for you- Just a pre warning!**

 **;)**

 **Owl x**


	16. Late night, RATED M

**OKAY!**

 **FIRST THING!**

 **I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO UPDATE THIS CHAPTER I HAVE BEEN SO SWAMPED WITH UNI AND WORK AND OTHER LIFE THINGS THAT HAVE KEPT ME AWAY BUT IM BACK AGAIN!**

 **annnnnndddd for your patience...here's a reward ;)**

 **This chapter is TOTAL M so if you wanna skip you can- I'll forgive you**

 **I have uploaded the next chapter as well as I dont find it totally fair for those that don't wanna read this part to move onto the next annnnd consider it an apology!**

 **Hope you guys enjoy! Please review! you guys are the best!**

* * *

Bonnie POV

He reached the edge of my bed as he lowered me down gently, the lights from my candles burning loosely, almost at the edge of the wax as he placed me down.

I reached for his chest as he bent down to me. I pulled his body over mine as I turned my head to taste him again; my lips back on his as he kissed me deeply- his mouth moaning and groaning at the spark that overcome us the second our lips touched again.

I could feel his nerves and cautiousness as his lips moulded around mine. I arched into him as one of his arms ran down my side, feeling my body as it rested on my hips. My hands ran over his chest now, feeling his boned structure and soft warm shoulders as I felt him lovingly.

He pulled back and looked at me; his eyes deep and heavy as they searched my own. His eyes alone sending spasms down inside my core. Raph inhaled deeply, and his whole body shook- his shoulders dropped as he breathed out in pleasure.

"Oh Doll…" He breathed out as my fingers trailed back up his sides. The glow of the soft candles making his facial features softer, his beautiful lips shone with moistness. His eyes glowed with love as he watched me.

My fingers went back down as I found his bulge. He let out the biggest sigh as his shoulders folded in on himself lowering his face back to mine as he nipped at my neck again.

I wiggled underneath him a little as my fingers stroked his bulge longingly as my other hands felt him all over, my finger nails raking against his body in the most delicious way.

I didn't care how fast we had gone.

I didn't care that this day had been the craziest one yet.

I just knew that I needed to _feel_ him like I was doing now; deep down I knew that's what we both needed, after denying it for so long- we both just needed to feel each other, to kiss every inch of each other- to finally lay everything out and open.

How many times had I envisioned this? _dreamed_ about this.

And it was happening. My mind shifted to concentrate on everything he was doing as my fingers found the waistband of his pants.

I pulled at them and he complied by shuffling out of them and kicking them off the edge of the bed.

He lay naked on top of me. And my fingers found him as I reached out for him curiously.

It felt a little different than what I was expecting, I lifted my head up a little to see his tail, it had curled inward, and coming out from his centre…his huge thick member- a dark colour, possibly purple. It was hard to tell with the lighting of the room.

Softly, he pushed me back down, away from view as his hands found my top. I leaned up as he pulled it out from under me- my PJ top thrown to the corner of the room.

His eyes dragged over me as my hand played with him.

" _Oh fuck"_ he breathed out to me, his face cringing in pleasure as he took me in. I blushed deeply as he shuddered. I ran my fingers across the top of his member; pre-cum wet and smooth as I moved my hand further down him. He shuddered again; a feral growl.

My bra was next, I sat up a little as he all but ripped it from my body; my pants too- until I was in nothing but little black cotton panties I had changed into.

As soon as my legs were free of anything I knew my scent would hit him like wildfire.

He leaned so far back on his hind legs to look at me as I tried my best to reach for him; but couldn't. He took hold of himself as he watched me. His hand running slowly up and down himself as he stumbled out a moan.

"Fuck your gorgeous." He mumbled out "you're so fucking gorgeous".

I couldn't stop it anymore, with a deep sigh my hand found the front of my panties as I rubbed there loosely- more pleasure built up now as an ache cast through me. I rubbed slowly watching Raph in the soft glow of the room as he pumped up and down agonisingly slow.

My hand found my breast as I arched and moaned out.

"Raph…" I moaned. "Touch me… _please_ touch me" I groaned out as his eyes became dilated and his teeth grit together. He let go of his member as I lay my hands above my head for him; just like the last time we were pinning each other down.

His mouth open, as his hands trailed down my front over my breasts, over my erect nipples and down my hips and thighs.

I groaned out for him as he breathed in my scent; lowering his face to mine to kiss me deeply again. With a twirl of his tongue I knew I needed him; every inch of him- all over me, everywhere as I arched again.

His hands moved over me anywhere he could touch; my thighs, my stomach, my hips my back…then they were back on my breasts; feeling them in ways I had only ever dreamed about as his fingers moved backwards and forth across my nipples, palming them as he squeezed them gently. I shuddered in the pleasure of it all.

"Yes Raph… _oh yes_ " I breathed out to him feeling my core tighten and curl with each movement of him.

"God ya so fuckin' _soft_ …" he growled out to me as his mouth travelled down my front, kissing my body deeply down my neck line, and collar bone as his tongue licked me where ever he could reach.

He kept inhaling my scent deeply, his mouth kept smoothing over my body in a pure need as I moved beneath him and moaned.

He blew out a breath as his face lined up in between my breasts- his cold air making my nipples freeze out a little more; his mouth kissed and nipped long my breast line- he inhaled there deeply and groaned; enjoying the scent of my chest. His head seemed to move as his tongue and kisses scattered over my sensitive peaks until his mouth circled one of my nipples. Sucking it in between his lips as I moaned out and bucked my hips.

 _"_ _Raphael"_ I breathed out as he played with my breasts, nipping and sucking at each one as I squirmed for him.

My insides grew tighter and tighter.

"I like it when ya say my name" He breathed to me, his voice vibrating against my breast in total honesty.

"Ya _mine_ " he told me as his other hand was now back on his member. His head rested against my stomach as he breathed in deeply, his own pleasure causing him to moan and break as I watched him move down me.

He seemed to inhale me again deeply, his tongue flicking out to taste my skin again as his shoulders dropped.

He looked up to me with a deeper agenda in his eye.

His kisses kept going- right over my stomach as his tongue kept flicking out where he inhaled my scent, tasting me again deeply, needing to lick me everywhere he could in an animalistic primal need.

And then his tongue glided right down to my underwear until he breathed me in, his lips kissing my panties longingly as I gasped deliriously.

Raph wasted no time as he tore them apart in his fingers and threw them to the side. He drew me in like he was looking at a piece of art work. He inhaled again, and with the biggest breathy groan, nuzzled his mouth down onto me.

Pleasure flashed out everywhere in my nerves and immediately I gasped and moaned; his name fell from my lips again as I gasped out heightened as he lapped up my juices from the outside of my pulsing slit.

I squirmed out as I groaned again and gasped out deeply. His tongue licked me a little deeper as I gasped again and again, until he was fully deep in me, tasting me sucking on me as my hands reached for his head.

"ya taste so _fuckin_ _good_ " he muffled.

"Raph…" I groaned out throatily as he lapped at me, his tongue burning white hot searing pleasure into my thighs as it swarmed there and doubled over.

I knew I wasn't going to last long; I knew from the minute his lips touched my opening and blew hot breath there. His body moving as he grinded down into the sheets; one of his hands still pumping his own member.

My other hand found my breast as I squeezed down and bit my lip.

I moaned again, loudly, embarrassingly as his tongue flicked over my sensitive spot.

My hips bucked at the sensation.

I flung my head up, my eyes shot open wide as he looked up to me from down there.

A soft smirk covered his face, sending butterflies and shivers up me as he lowered himself back down onto me; his tongue pressing and touching that spot as he went. Each time his tongue flicked over my little bud I arched deeply; the pleasure growing, my insides tightening.

And then to make it better, his other hand moved down over my hips and circled at my entrance. He pushed his finger in slowly, as I gasped out deeply.

Even that was big.

He moved it in and out slowly- torturing, feeling my walls stretch against him as I yelped and stirred on him.

He had me falling apart like goo in the palm of his hand.

I moaned louder, my body falling apart as I called for him over and over.

"say yer _mine_ " he told me low, his own voice strained. My eyes flicked down to watch him; he pumped faster and faster on himself. The quicker he moved the quicker his finger slid and thrust into me. I gurgled out another deep moan. I rolled with the pleasure he was giving me, my legs turning to jelly; my whole body riding the wave of pleasure higher and higher and higher, burning and burning.

"Oh fuck I'm yours Raph…I'm all yours _forever_ \- god I love you _so fucking much_ " my voice unrecognisable as a haze overcame me. His mouth found my sweet spot again as his tongue licked me quicker than ever before, his hot flat tongue flicked me over and over as the pleasure rose impossibly high.

With every heightening spasm I called for him higher and higher too.

"Oh Raph, OH Raph…"

He sucked down, tight, lapping up my soaking juices as I cried and squirmed. He thrust his finger faster and began sucking and lapping harder.

"OH FUCK!"

And then I exploded. My insides glowed, my body tight as I gasped out and shrieked for him.

" _AHHHH,_ _RAPHAEL_!"

The pleasure impossibly unreal as I went over the top of my built up tension. He never gave up; his lips kept moving in me as I squirmed and called louder and louder, bucking my hips into his face as my orgasm shook over my entire body, the longest and best I had ever had.

"Argh FUCK…ahh baby, dats it, cum fer me- god yer so…god I love ya, I fuckin' love ya so much-"

His own orgasm starting to over take him as he pumped himself faster watching me ride mine.

He lifted himself up from bending over my entrance to sitting on his knees as he strangled out a cry. My hand found his member instantly as I pumped with him hard and fast matching the rhythm he had his eyes rolled back into his head and his strangled groans and purrs grew louder and louder.

"DOLL…ARGH FUCK… _FUCK!_ "

He cried out as I pumped him faster and harder; using all of my strength until he gasped out; his eyes opening wide. Spurts of his hot seed coated me, covering my breasts and stomach and entrance.

He groaned and growled out as he rode his own orgasm, falling from his high as he tried to suck in a deep breath.

He fell forward, his own body shaking as he stilled gently. His body sucking in deep gasps like mine had done.

We settled like that for a little while, until Raph's arms couldn't support his weight anymore and he rolled off me to the side. My head turned to look at him; I watched him as his eyes closed, his breaths deep and ragged. One of his legs kept over me as one of his hands went to my cheeks.

He opened his eyes to look at me, his breaths still laboured and deep. His eyes were soft and gentle as he leaned over and kissed me softly, _longingly._

Our months of want and need and passion finally eased; after all of that had gone in the air, there was just love left, seeping into his eyes and looking down on mine as he kissed me slowly again with the softest touch ever. His hand finding my cheek as he rubbed the skin there gently and lovingly.

I smiled out at him softly, my first real smile since all of this had happened. My insides bubbled with the love and warmth I need to show him as I breathed out a sigh at him.

He looked to me as he caressed me. His eyes warm and gentle.

"Ya so _beautiful_ …" he said softly; breathlessly, his voice soft as his eyes burnt into mine.

"I love you Raphael" I told him tiredly. A genuine smile coated his face as he bent his head down to nuzzle mine. His beak touched the edge of my face as I rolled my head with him gently. A small tear rolled down my face. He looked up, eyes wide face full of fear.

"What's wrong? Did a 'urt ya? Did a-" I cut him off with a soft kiss. He waited eyes still wide.

"I'm just… happy…really fucking happy" I told him as his face shifted again. He blew out a breath as he nuzzled my face again. My eyes closed listening to his purring as his thumb rubbed up and down my cheek.

Then he breathed in, inhaling deeply- but jerked his head away for a minute- he looked down at me and red spread across his cheeks.

"What?" I murmured as I looked down to where his eyes had gone- all over my body and my bed sheets- where I was soaking wet covered in his essence.

My eyes lifted with my eyebrows as my mouth fell open in shock. It was a lot more than any humans.

He looked back to me nervously as my eyes looked back to his- he looked worried.

I giggled out loud. His face slammed down in shock at my laugh.

"Oh come on Raph- it's a little funny" I told him laying my head back down on the mattress. He blushed again and smelled me.

"All a can smell is me on ya" he told me with a huff as I giggled again.

"What's wrong with that?"

"Just…I like ya scent…"

"Well…next time aim differently" I giggled as he grinned pleasingly.

"So we can do _dat_ again?" he breathed into the side of my face as a huge grin over took me.

"If you…if you _want_ to…" I added softly. My words having double meaning. He brought his face round to the front of my face- his eyes warm and sincere.

"I 'ave wanted to do dat _for months_ \- I wanted _you_ for months…I ain't givin' ya up for _anythin'_ doll…am sorry bout what a said…I get why ya were so upset…a would be too…but am in love wid ya- all of dis is so real for me…I _swear_ "

I lifted my head up to meet his lips passionately, my hands cupped his naked face, his hands played with my fanned out hair. I pulled away with a small supple peck on his lips, once, then twice as I lay my head back down on the bed.

We watched each other for a little while, till he leaned down into my neck to inhale my scent again, only lifting his face away with pulled down eyebrows and a pout.

"What now?" I giggled out.

"It's really annoyin' me now" he huffed as I laughed at him. He looked back down at me playfully as I laughed freely. His eyes danced over my smile; totally drunk from his passing euphoria as he watched me in a trance.

"Ya so beautiful" he breathed out again shaking his head.

"Shut up Raph" I rolled my eyes and face away from him.

"Well ya are"

I sat up, my body spent and tired as I groaned.

"urgh- I need to shower" I told him. " _and_ now wash my bed sheets"

I headed out to the hallway as I carried my sheets in my hands; he watched me go. His eyes on my ass as I walked out the door.

"You not coming to shower stalker?" I called over my shoulder. He breathed out and grinned to me immediately getting up from the bed as he followed me out of the room as I giggled and ran ahead.

§

After dumping my clothes in washing machine, we headed into my shower together, the hot steamy water washed away all the mess he had left and relaxed my shoulders.

I pulled him into my bathtub as we both stood under the hot water. His arms circled my waist as I washed us both in my oily shower gel; Raph's arms were round my waist as I rubbed in the soap into his arms.

He flexed again under my hands as I smirked.

"Show off" I muttered happily as he remembered the memory too- he pressed me more too him, pushing me into his chest again as his hands slid down my back to my ass.

He grabbed my ass cheeks and squeezed them as I blushed.

"Been wantin' ta do dat _foreva_ " he told me as I swatted him playfully.

"Don't know why- I have such a fat ass" I complained with a roll of my eyes. He grinned against me.

"Ya have da best ass- big n bouncy" he told me as I swatted him playfully and shook my head.

"All the girls on your posters didn't have big bouncy asses" I told him with a raise of my eyebrow.

He pulled me tighter against him and squeezed my ass again.

"A told ya; dere Mikey's…I fuckin' love ya figure…curvy and soft…been ogglin ya for months widout ya knowin'..."

"Yeah Well don't let it become a habit around _Casey_ " I pushed as I wiggled his hands back up to my waist. I looked down to his front again; his tail still hanging loose lower around the front of him and swollen; his member out of sight and back in its coating; just slightly on show.

Raph noticed my curious looks.

"We do dat…afta…n before anyt'in...when we get turned on…it comes out" he tried to explain in a strained awkward tone as I nodded softly trying to show him I wasn't bothered.

I leaned up to kiss his cheek, letting my lips rest there for a moment as he looked to me with curious eyes again.

"What ya thinkin' of?" he pushed and I looked to him deeply.

"Just…how am I going to… _fit…with you_ " I said with a giggle as I rubbed soap into his hard chest. "You're kinda huge" I told him as he brightly smirked to me.

"T'anks Doll" he winked and my body became alive again at his little motion. My core lit up the fire that had been stoked so passionately.

The water between us ran the bubbles away as he blushed heavily under the smirking facade.

"We don't have ta do **_dat_**. Not eva if ya don't want…we can jus' do what we did before, _foreva_ …I loved it" he told me as his beak bent down to my temple again, he squeezed me twice as he groaned at the memory.

"Forever?" I breathed out to him with love-drunk eyes.

"I ain't in dis for the short haul girl- I want ya for good"

I grinned to him.

"Besides…I ain't eva gonna get sick of _doin' dat_ wid ya… _Ya smelt so good_ …and _fuck,_ ya tasted so good… _so so good_ " he breathed out through a strained groan; his eyes rolled back at the memory.

It had my insides twitching again as I felt liquid pool lower down in my body. I bit my lip at the thought of his hot tongue on my burning little nub again…my eyes nearly rolling back too just thinking about it.

I looked down at his tail; his head just peeking out again as my eyes caught back onto his. I slid my hand down his front and between his legs, rubbing his little tail between my fingers.

He groaned heavily.

"D-Doll…" he breathed out in protest. I smirked. I leaned up to the side of his face.

"Sit on the edge- there" I told him pointing behind him to get him to sit down on the lip of the tiled bath area. He did as he was told groaning the entire way down as he sat and leant back.

I kneeled as best as I could in between his legs; thanking my lucky stars for my wider bathtub, the water hit the back of my head and down Raph's legs as steam rose from between us.

My hands wrapped around his tail as I squeezed him. He groaned, his shoulders dropping as hot breath fell out of him.

I squeezed again and it came free; his member slid out between us- this time, in the brighter lights of my battery operated fairy lights, I could make him out more clearly.

He was big. Fuck he was _huge_ to look at- his colour a deep purple as I suspected.

"What are ya doin' doll?" he pressed lightly as his eyes pulled me back to him.

I didn't say anything, but watched him as I lowered my mouth down onto him. His mouth fell open as I took him in, his huge member slipped into my mouth with little room left as I moaned onto him. Raph growled out deeply.

"Oh fuck…" he growled so hard as I moved up and down his member slowly.

I sucked him in as best as I could; he groaned and grunted evenly as he watched me go. Somewhere in the middle of it all, his hand wound its way into my wet hair as his fingers gripped the back of my head gently. I bobbed up and down on him; doing my best to fit him all into my mouth.

He groaned harshly as I managed to go all the way down on him, taking it slow as to not cause damage to myself or bite down.

"Fuck doll…" he breathed out, his voice ragged and strained again.

I moaned against him, my tongue swirling around him as I pulled up and bobbed down again. He grunted and moaned heavily, his hands and arms trying to reach for my sensitive places as I pushed him back and away.

"Its my turn to taste _you_ " I told him as I used my hand to keep pumping him. He groaned again deeper.

I took him back in, my mouth accommodating his size as I went. I moved a little faster this time. As his growling and groaning increased so did my speed, his eyes rolled back into his head as his skull hit back of my tiled walls.

"Shit, baby I-" The words strangled in his throat as I carried on moving up and down, the water splashing off my bobbing body, his hazy eyes watching my mouth as his hands pushed my head a little further down on him.

There was another new nickname…

 _Baby…_

I loved that one.

I moaned against him and swirled my tongue across him. He groaned heavier than before.

"oh fuck…Right _dere_ …" his head fell back against my tile as I groaned on him. He growled again in return. My core started to pool again at his moans.

I knew he wasn't going to last much longer, his groans increased as did his muttering again- his entire body tightening beneath my fingers and in my mouth. I moved quicker, sucking him tightly and spinning my tongue over him. His panting increased. His hands tightened in my hair.

"I- I'm gonna…"

I moved faster on him as I pumped him, my mouth keeping up the rhythm along with my hands.

And then in one long curdling moan and a gasp- he came deeply. His seed filled my mouth as I swallowed down as much as I could, only letting a little drip out and down my chin.

He looked back up to me his mouth wide, his body spent; his eyes raked in absolute awe.

That's when he picked me up and spun me round at a lightening speed, my ass pressed against his legs as he kissed down my shoulders and along my back.

"God ya perfect; ya so perfect" he mumbled against the back of my neck; his hands flew down and over me- down my front across my breasts as I wiggled and moaned under his touch.

He pulled me back down onto his lap as His other arm slithered down my back and over my ass. He grabbed my ass cheeks in his hand, squeezing them as his eyes took me in. Then his hand snaked down under my legs, round the back of my ass until he reached my entrance.

"An' ya all wet for me again- _perfect_ " he breathed as his finger slid into me straight. I gasped at the shock, and then somehow he slipped in another. My legs lifted over his knees, thanking god I was sitting in his lap for the support; If I had been standing I would have fallen in an instant.

I gasped harder, my entire body shook, my hands lifted to his shoulders as he sandwiched me in which his arms; one playing with my breast, the other inside me- his fingers thrusting in an out of me making my hips buck.

"Tell me what ya like" he whispered into the back of my neck as I growled and moaned. "How ya like it.."

Fuck he was amazing.

"Tell me" he breathed.

"C-Curl your fingers" I told him as I lay my head flat down against him looking to the the ceiling. He did so and a wave of intense pleasure hit me as I gasped. He stopped for a minute. He did it again and my body shook. A hot spasm of pleasure burst up and down me. I knew what he could feel and he knew it was the right button to press.

 _"_ _Oh…"_

He moved again, wildly- pushing and curling as he thrust in and out. I yelped and called for him in ecstasy.

"oh, oh… OH _Raph_!"

He grinned into my neck as his teeth sucked at my shoulders again.

"Like dat huh? Right dere?" This time he bit down a little harder creating a painful pleasurable friction as his fingers kept curling and pushing into my G-spot.

I gasped and gasped and gasped; the pleasure growing faster than before.

"That's it…- tell dem who's ya are" he breathed onto my neck. He pulsed inside me quicker, making my legs uncontrollably shake as I spread them wider over his lap and my breathing laboured faster and faster.

His other hand dropped from my breast and in-between my sensitive lips, he ran it up and down my front feeling how wet I was until he parted them, searching for my little bundle of nerves that he had found with his tongue before.

"Say my name" he groaned deeply.

He circled it immediately; I could feel him smirk against my back. He did it again rubbing over it quicker and my entire body lit up.

"Oh god _Raphael!"_ I scraped out. He carried on his fast paced intense moves, hitting me at my heightened level of euphoria; my orgasm spinning and approaching me in a much more intense and quicker paced level than before.

"Cum fer me doll…"

And I did, intensely, sharply, eyes-rolling back, mouth open gasping for breath as the waves of bursting hot pleasure tore me apart over and over.

I screamed out as Raph's teeth were back at my shoulder, growling and purring as

he kept going, taking me through my riding wave as he growled. His finger feeling my insides pulsing as his other hand kept rubbing increasing the intensity of my orgasm.

I screamed out again, feeling my juices splash down both of his hands on me and both our thighs.

"FUCK RAPH! _RAPHAEL_!" My finger nails dug into his shoulders as bucked away; my body overly sensitive. He began to slow, my body settling after its second wave of immense pleasure of the night.

I lay heavily back on him; unable to use my legs to even stand as I fell back into his arms. He wrapped them around me and grinned over the top of my head as the water washed us both away again.

Raph helped me to stand a few minutes later, and kindly found my shampoo bottle as he rubbed it into my hair using one hand to keep me stable and the other to clean me off. I kept my eyes closed, not able to do anything but stand after all our passion. I couldn't understand where his energy had come from. Once my hair was rinsed, he shut my shower off and lifted me out of the tub bridal style.

"C'mon, lets get ya dry" he told me as he carried me out of the room. I could only nod; absolutely exhausted.

* * *

 **OKAY.**

 **WAS IT BAD?**

 **omg this took me like five takes to write and re write because i really wanted to capture their emotion- i also feel like just going into full out sex wasn't their style...I mean...you build up to that- I think its more a need to feel each other rather than go so far...**

 **Let me know what you think though!**

 **Lots of love**

 **Owl x**


	17. Thunderstorms, Talks

**Okay here's reward 2 of the long awaited Update!**

 **Hope you guys enjoy!**

* * *

We lay on my sofa after all our 'fun activities'; the bed had been freshly made again with new clean sheets and after a cleansing shower, I had clean panties on and a new bed shirt… Raph had protested at any clothes- so pants were out of the equation. I had bargained a top and underwear, and he seemed happy with that as long as he could still see my cleavage and ass shape.

I lay on his chest as he lay softly underneath me; looking up at me adoringly as I drew circles on his plastron. The only noise was that of my little washer and dryer, which was still drying our clothes and washing my bed sheets, and the heavy rain pour from outside.

I sighed as I looked to him deeply.

He grinned up at me and would kiss my lips, my cheek or my face every few minutes.

"So…what are we now?" I pressed lightly as he grinned as me and kissed my temple for the longest time- breathing in my scent.

"yer mine an' I'm yours- end of" he said with a little grin. I smiled back at him and captured his lips with mine lovingly.

"Better cancel that date then" I mumbled out with a smirk. Raph growled to me; his face shifted into an annoyed wisp. I muffled down my smile.

His fingers travelled up and down my thigh which was hitched up his side.

"A wouldna let ya go…even if dis didn't 'appen" he told me honestly and softly as I turned to look at him. I rested my chin down on his plastron as I looked up to his face; his bright amber-green eyes shone down to me in the soft glowing of the candle lit-room.

"How would you have stopped me?" I asked gently. He shrugged.

"Probably gone wid ya an' beat da guy up…or locked ya in 'ere" he said with a small chuckle.

"You're laughing, but you're really serious aren't you?" I pressed raising my eyebrow. He leaned down to kiss my nose and grinned.

"Course I am doll"

I rolled my eyes at him, but my insides glowed- I was filled with a warmth as I lay looking at him- everything all out in the open, everything finally discussed…but I did have a few burning questions left.

I bit my lip.

"What ya need ta ask?" he pressed softly. I looked up at him in shock.

"Ya do dat when ya curious" he told me as I giggled out.

"Stalker" I accused with a smile.

He smirked.

"dis time tho…if a say somethin' an it makes ya sad or upset- ya need ta tell me, ya my girl…I'll be honest, but a need you to be too"

I swooned at him as I leant forward to kiss him hard. He smiled against my mouth as I pulled back, unable to stop my own grin.

"Okay" I whispered.

"Alright- shoot" he told me as I sighed.

"Well…first thing is kinda obvious…you seem to know what you were doing back there…" I told him loosely. He sighed a little in a short frustrated tone.

"Thought ya might be curious bout dat" he muttered. "Well part of it's porn- I seen my fare share- videos an' shit…research an' stuff…a kinda know what bits ta go for" His answer made me giggle.

"You certainly do"

In return he smiled at me. He shuffled us a little bit, sitting further up to lean on my sofa's arm- giving him a better viewing angle of me as I snuggled closer up on him too.

"I take it that goes for all four of you?" I asked he nodded.

"Yeah…Mike's da worst for it…kinda shit when ya have ta share a room wid 'im an 'e thinks ya sleepin'" he grimaced as I muffled a laugh again.

"Now I get why you didn't want me sleeping on his bed" I laughed.

"A think 'e knows 'ow a feel for ya…'e wouldn't a done nothin' …its more a primal thing fer me-ya bein' round them…I need to get used ta it"

I nodded to him understandingly.

"But the otha part of it…why a wasn't nervous or anything…" he clicked his teeth together and groaned nervously. I put a hand on his cheek and rubbed his face gently.

"What is it?" I pressed.

I had to push this and Raph knew this; I could tell from the look in his eyes, the reluctance, the worry. He swallowed. But things needed to be said- the air needed to clear.

"If am honest wid ya; promise me ya won't judge" he said as my soft eyes met his, vowing to him instantly with a nod.

He rubbed his face down. He shook his head and pulled on his bandana tails.

"We might not have 'ad girls around…but dat don't mean we ain't seen em before...or ain't eva…been wid one" he added slowly as I carefully evaluated every word he said to me.

He sighed out a huge huff as he looked down and back up to me, he paced a little.

"Y-you mean-" The words caught in my throat tight as he gritted his teeth. His eyes met mine for a second again, the green in his amber orbs seemed brighter now.

He sighed and swallowed.

"Sometimes we go up on 'alloween, we kept to tha shadows but…not as strict- Me an' Mike like ta hang out some of da club gates, dey have fancy dress parties, we jus' stay in tha dark tho..." he added his eyes prying on me to try and work it all out.

I stayed still, taking in this new information as he relayed it to me evenly; nervously.

"Sometimes girls get drunk an'…dey would come ova"

My eyebrows lifted in surprise.

"Oh" was all I could get out.

I understood immediately; and I was bombarded with images in my brain of him entangled with some drunk girl- she was blonde and pretty and in some kind of sexy costume that made my skin crawl and my blood boil.

I paled a little. He noticed and began stammering.

"Y-You gotta rememba- W-we don't get ta speak ta new girls any otha time of tha year a-and when dey start talkin' to ya and flirtin' wid ya and they jus offer them selves up so easy den-" he rambled out, his face now panicked.

My hands found his biceps instantly as he nervously spouted out to me.

"I-I mean we don't jus take em either if dat's what ya thinkin'-dey always start anythin' if dey wanna! dey-"

My lips found his in a second, just a small supple kiss to settle him.

I understood, of course I did- how could I not?

He seemed to quiet, but his face stayed alarmed.

"I get it; I understand completely, I do" I told him, my eyes now locked on his. Nodding under his gaze securely. He seemed to latch on in an instant as I kept nodding, not sure why or how. Hurt spilled into my mind over the idea of him with some beautiful blonde skinny woman…

But I pushed it down, I still had more questions to ask.

"How many?" I muttered biting my lip again, cursing that the words had flown out of my mouth.

He looked up and swallowed.

"Jus' two..." he said evenly as I nodded again.

"And did erm…did you check after…you know in case…jus' in case of any transmitted-"

"Yeah…spoke ta Donnie bout it…'e tests us" he said smoothly. I kept nodding, finding it the easiest action to do.

"So its just you and Mikey?" I asked a little softer. He sighed and looked to my face gently.

"Donnie's more a online guy…an' none of us are exactly sure what Leo is…'e- jus seems ta cope betta" he shrugged.

I nodded thinking it over.

"Everyone's different" I commented.

"How dya feel bout it?" he asked gritting his teeth. "About my side of it?"

I twitched my lips to the side; jealousy surged through me, but it was his past- I had one, everyone has one. And for all I knew none of what had just happened with us would have happened if he didn't have that experience.

"I'm really jealous…the idea of you with another woman is hard for me…" I told him honestly. He nodded his eyes filled with encouragement as he kept a hold on me, softly rubbing my thigh in comfort.

"Trust me doll, it ain't like ya t'ink- I didn't even care…didn't even know their name…one didn't even speak ta me dat much…jus' seen me…it was just…a need…an' trust me it was shit"

I looked down and tried to hide my amused smirk.

"Wow Raph- What a player" I mumbled out

He shrugged, smirking.

"it was few years back- a was young"

I giggled and settled into him, a soft relaxed expression on my face.

"So…you're not… thinking… of going this year are you?" I asked nervously. My heart wobbling in my chest. Raph looked down and smirked to me reassuringly.

"Not a fuckin' chance…Ya stuck wid me" he said as I blew out a nervous breath and blushed.

"Good" I leaned down to kiss him again hard as he mumbled a chuckle out from his lips. "I don't like the idea of you with anyone else…"

"Why d'ya think I was gonna lock ya up if ya were goin' on ya date?"

I giggled.

"I just wanted to know about your past, that's all; Its not like we're all so innocent" I blushed as I sighed.

That got Raph's attention. His eyes flew back to watched me and twitched his lips. A silence fell over us in a short minute before Raph spoke again.

"Can I ask you anythin'?" he pressed as I looked to him with wide eyes and nodded slowly.

"Ow many guys…'ow many…urgh have you-" he growled looking up to the ceiling. I smiled at him; but it didn't touch my eyes. I kissed the edge of his chin, bringing his eyes down to my face.

"Two" I answered clearly, feeling the rise in my throat as he kept an unreadable gaze on me. I expected him to answer but he didn't; he waited, obviously wanting an explanation like he had done.

"My first boyfriend was in high school and he was an ass- the second; we dated for a couple of months- it didn't go anywhere…he was more a…booty call than a boyfriend a guess" I shrugged it off.

"ya slept wid 'em?" he asked. I stayed relaxed.

"Yes…that okay?" I asked him with knowing eyes, he tensed below me, his teeth gritted as the idea sprung over him.

"Nope" he cringed as I giggled and kissed him again, pulling the cringing grimace away from his face.

"I'm all yours now big guy- forever right?" I told him as he nodded and opened his eyes back up to see me as I sat a little further back to keep his eyes on me.

"Besides…it was nothing like this…I have never felt like this before" I told him softly. He pressed his beak to my head once again- a click and purr on his tongue.

"So dat it?"

I huffed a laugh out.

"Yeah why?"

"jus' expected more is all"

I looked to him with an amused alarmed expression. He seemed to realise what he had said and his eyes slammed open wide and alarmed.

"I d-don't mean dat a thought ya were a slut or nothin-"

I giggled and shook my head.

"I know, don't worry" I told him.

"I get what ya mean tho…tha idea of you wid anyone else…Leo told me ya might start datin'…an…fuck a was soo mad about it" he muttered. "broke like five dun-bells"

"Leo talked to you about us?" I pressed with a tilt of my head. "And you didn't kill him?" I joked.

"Yeah…'e kinda guessed what was happenin' between us…came ta speak ta me about it"

I nodded looking down.

"He spoke to me too" I said with a small relaxed smile. Raph seemed to drop his calm exterior as a flash of anger crossed his face.

"What 'e say to ya? Was 'e a ass? I'll kill 'em"

I leaned in again to kiss his cheek. He calmed instantly.

"No he wasn't- he was nice…I think he could see how much I loved you…he asked me not to hurt you- I thought it was sweet" I told him with a shrug.

Raph huffed and pouted like a child as I smiled to him, letting him know everything was fine. My hand ran across his cheek and down his neck to his chest again as he watched me lovingly.

I grinned to him softly. He grinned back.

"So we good?" I asked again and he nodded, his arms wrapping around my waist as I pulled my self further up to be inches from his face again.

"Totally doll"

"and I'm yours?…" I breathed to him in a low tone. He nodded, his mouth falling open gently as his eyes became hooded again.

"Yer mine.." he answered quietly.

I leant in breathing onto his lips. "...And you're mine...".

His lips captured mine in a devastatingly beautiful kiss; the passion alive again in the softness of the glowing room. His lips moved softer than before, really feeling my own against his as he dragged his bottom lip up and over mine and across my top lips. I sighed into his mouth as slowly and beautifully, his tongue swept across my lips and down into my mouth as he caressed my tongue slowly. A lengthy moan fell out of him as his hands gripped at my back then moved down to hold and squeeze my ass cheeks.

I sighed happily into his mouth, tilting my head further into him as I cupped his face and rubbed down his shoulders.

Then a crack of lightening and a crash of thunder hit the air making me jump out of my skin as I sat up to look at the sky, only falling as I scurried and landing on the floor with a bump.

My top fell down off my shoulder as I landed.

Raph turned and laughed at me, snickering as I raised an eyebrow at him. He chuckled again and sat up himself.

His eyes caught onto my shoulder where I had scraped it on the floor.

His face turned a little grave. I noticed his look immediately.

"Its fine, I hit it when I fell on the rooftop" I told him, kneeling up in between his legs as he moved my t-shirt out of the way to look closer at it.

His jaw locked.

"Its over- were not thinking about that anymore" I told him strongly with a shake of my head.

"But if a didn't run ya wouldna…if a didn't-" his teeth gritted as they locked back down onto my wrist tightly.

The bruising coming out more now- turning a little darker in places. His face seemed to drop.

I grabbed his chin and kissed him again; harder, forcing his lips to push back onto mine as I pulled back harshly.

"it's over; please- it hurts to think about how I lost you" my whole face cringed in pain "I thought you were never coming back…I-I thought-" my eyes pricked at the memory coming back. His arms were round me in an instant and he nodded.

"Please for me...it hurts me…please" I breathed feeling the pain seeping back in. Raph noticed instantly ad he gripped me tighter.

"Alright…alright- anyth'in ya want- anythin'" he said shaking his head as he pulled me back into his lap.

I curled up on his chest. My head against his heart.

 _"I love ya so much doll"_ he breathed as I smiled weakly closing my eyes as I breathed in his scent.

"I love you, stalker…always will"

We stayed quiet- just holding each other, and it wasn't long until my tired spent body was lulling my self off to sleep.

I vaguely felt my body being lifted, and then the softness of my bed and pillows came back to me. I immediately wrapped my arms tight around Raph, who's lips were the last thing I could feel on my head before sleep over took me.

 **Raph's POV**

She wrapped herself around me. Her head buried into my chest as she slept soundly. My eyes raked down her- I couldn't resist.

My bandaged arms held her close and tight. I kissed her forehead multiple times, too afraid to go to sleep in case all of this was a dream. My hands drifted down her sides, stroking her body gently. My fingers brushed against her skin, up to her shoulders and across her collar bone. She was so soft to touch. So fucking precious.

Her mouth fell open in her sleep as she breathed evenly. She nuzzled deeply into my side sighing out as she slept.

I was completely whipped.

I watched her for the longest time, forgetting about anything else and everyone else in the world; just laying there admiring her- loving her.

Then I looked down to her wrist- it was blue and bruising around the join near her thumb. I cringed.

I hated myself so fucking much.

 _I just remember the heat- the burning and intensity of her yelling, believing she didn't want me- that everything she told me was true. That I was going to loose everything…_

 _I had only meant to spin her around._

 _Red shaded over my eyes as she ranted at me in such deep pain. I had only wanted her to stop- so I could tell her that none of what she thought was true- that I shouldn't have said what I did and definitely didn't mean it how she took it…_

 _Her eyes when she spun…it reminded me of the night she was thinking about her father- the darkness in her eyes and the fear…_

I had made her feel that. Made her feel that pain again.

I gritted my teeth.

I had promised her I wouldn't think about it anymore- because it hurt her.

And I had already done enough of that.

I stroked down her side again and back up; lazily lifting her top up a little to see her panties a little better. I growled down deeply. She was mine; I would do anything I could to keep her safe- anything.

Another pang of guilt slashed through me.

I hadn't done that so far.

I wiggled out of her grip gently and silently. Laying her hand out flat on the pillows as I wandered down her hall way to switch off her kitchen appliances.

Our clothes were dry and it gave me so much pleasure to see both mine and her clothing mangled together in a little dryer. Beside them down at the floor my Sai's sat. Lazily thrown down there when she had reached for them to cause herself pain like I had done.

I gritted my teeth thinking back to the trauma of the night…

 _As soon as I sprinted away my hands shook, I was at least three roof tops away as I roared to myself scraping my vocal chords in horror at my own actions…my hands could physically still feel her gentle skin under my powerful grip as I grabbed at her…_

 _I screamed, roared, bellowed out viciously as my entire body shook- I needed to feel pain. I needed to be hurt for what I had done._

 _Mentally it wasn't enough._

 _I flicked my sais round in my hands and dug them down deep into my own skin, not feeling anything- just slashing as a red vail seeped over my eyes._

 _I tore into my monstrous' arms; my green horrible scaled skin, I growled and roared as my own blood flashed over my body._

 _I turned and pounded the concrete wall behind me with my fists over and over as I beat it down and clawed my vocal chords out in anger._

 _How could I do that to her?_

 _After I promised her?_

 _I turned and fell back against the wall; my arms bleeding freely, my knuckles tarnished in bruises and cuts as I sat panting, shaking…_

 _Feeling the pain, I needed to feel…_

 _Feeling dead inside…_

 _And then there they arrived and I knew it was a sign from a higher calling- that I should be killed for hurting her, that I should be murdered for laying a finger on her._

 _I waited for the gun to go- but it never did._

 _Instead she came to my rescue, handling a pipe like a bat, beating the shit out of those two guards until she took hold of my face in her injured hands._

 _"What did you do Raph?"_

 _She was crying heavily, sobbing into my lap as she tried to pull me up…and it made me feel worse…why did she love me when I had brought her so much pain?_

I picked the Sai's up from the floor and looked to my bandaged arms. My sliced cuts throbbed painfully telling me I was healing as I growled and sighed.

She had taken such good care of me, she had wrapped me up countless times and told me she loved me.

And I had just hurt her constantly.

I cringed.

Not anymore.

I blew out a breath as I looked to the top of the fridge and grabbed the little first aid kit.

I headed back to the bedroom anxious to see her sleeping as I moved as silent as the ninja I was and kneeled beside her bed.

She lay on her side now- her injured arm lay out flat on the bed as she breathed evenly. I leant over and kissed her temple twice softly; just needing to keep touching her, to keep kissing her smoothly-to check she was still real.

I flicked open the little box and rolled out the remaining supplies- She would need to refill this.

No,

I would need to. Because she was mine to take care of now.

It was up to me.

I found the cooling sticky patch I knew I could put on her wrist to help ease pressure. I slowly took her slender wrist in my own giant hands as I lifted it up gently and smoothed the patch down over the bruising.

Her face cringed a little in discomfort in her sleep as her eyes screwed up and her teeth gritted tightly.

A loose angry tear rolled down my face.

No more- I reminded my self.

Its all for her now…

When the patch was on I lifted her arm and wrapped it up in a bandage securely, not tight as to cause anymore discomfort, but just to keep it protected and secure.

I laid it back down on the pillow as I kissed her arm three more times softly.

I would never hurt her like this again; on my life.

If I did- I would kill my self for sure next time.

Slowly- painfully.

I moved to her shoulder where she had scraped it after throwing her self over buildings to get to me. I applied a larger gauze patch knowing I had cleaned it carefully in the shower without her realising and smoothed the Band-Aid around and over her shoulder.

Her damp hair was now mostly dry and curling again into those soft waves and curls I loved so damn much.

I kissed her shoulder again as she breathed deeply in her sleep, but twitched once and whimpered.

I looked down to see if I had touched her- but I didn't. I flew away and leant against her bedroom wall in horror.

"No…Raph…please…don't"

She whimpered.

I broke inside.

She was frightened of me. In her sleep she was terrified of me, because of what I had done- because of how I had grabbed her.

My head buried into my hands.

I was such a fucking monster- I didn't deserve her, I didn't-

"Please…not my Raphael!" she breathed a little quicker… "not my Raph…please no…" she mumbled out as her breathing quickened again.

Shock fell out of me as my head lifted from my hands- my body shook as realisation flashed over me.

"Please don't…. hurt my Raph…" she mumbled out her eyes still firmly shut.

Her Raph…

I was her Raph…

She wasn't scared of me.

She was scared of loosing me…

My shoulders slumped. My face dropped all emotion until awe floated over me.

How could I deserve this creature?

I crawled to her bedside and my hands flew onto her body again as she breathed deeper.

"am not goin' anywhere. Am… 'ere" I told her gently as she breathed smoothly. My fingers threading into her hair again soothing her as she rolled closer to me, her deep breathes soothing out as a small smile covered her face and her mumbling stopped.

I watched her for what felt like a good hour, her perfect body rising and falling gently with each soft breath she took.

My mouth fell open softly, my eyes stayed glued on her form as she slept soundly. A hurricane couldn't have shifted me in that moment- nothing could have.

She was perfect; Was this what it was like? To be so desperately slit-your-throat in love? everything was suddenly intensified, just a little smell of her hair and I was brought to my knees, my body shuddered as I leaned forward to intake her fresh scent, my eyes rolling back into my head at the thought of it…

 _I remembered it wrapped up in her curdling desire as well, the way she smelled when she was filled with lust and want…all for me._

I growled internally, remembering her laying underneath me- _perfect big tits, perfect wide hips, thick strong legs…_

I didn't have to imagine it now- it was a memory. The best memory I would repeat over and over and over to make fresh memories of us constantly.

I couldn't wait for that again.

I collected back up all her medical supplies and put them back into the little make shift box she had, turning to carry them back down the corridor towards the kitchen. I placed her little box back up on the top of the fridge and turned to look at the little clock above it.

3am; It was so much later than I had originally thought. I wiped my face down feeling my body weaken from its tired state as I turned to grab my Sai's and wash them in the sink.

I cleaned her kitchen as best as I could to rid any evidence of my blood and mud that I had lazily sulked into her kitchen as I threw most things into the trash.

I needed to do this.

I had to take care of her. This was my job now. She was mine.

My mind spiralled back over the past day in detail as I cleaned. How everything had changed.

How I needed to do anything I could now to keep her happy and safe.

Donnie- he needed to get that lock sorted and I would need to get more supplies from him for her med box.

Mikey- he needed to fuck off flirting with her but keep being nice to her.

Leo-I wasn't exactly sure what he needed to do but I was sure there would be something. He was the oldest- he needed to do something.

It took me another hour to rid her house of any evidence of my blood and any other substance I had dragged into her little apartment. My hands needing to keep busy and alert to make sure it was alright for her when she woke up.

It needed to be.

Then there was a little creak from down the hall as I froze and spun around.

She stood in the doorway pushing her hair up on her face as she looked to me through a tired drunken eyes.

"Raph?…Baby?" she breathed to me, still half asleep as my tail curled in.

She hadn't ever called me that before…

I loved it.

Fuck, I loved it.

Yeah- I was her baby.

I'll be her baby Forever.

"What are you doing?" she slurred with another yawn as her body stretched and cracked gently.

It was obvious she wasn't fully awake yet.

"Jus' cleanin' sweetheart…go ta bed gorgeous" I told her moving over to her half conscious form as she yawned a little more and reached for me.

Her arms wrapped around me lovingly as she breathed in my scent deeply.

"Come back to bed with me" she slurred out her eyes closing against my plastron again as her face rubbed into the side of it nuzzling me like I would to her.

She blew out a deep breath and rested fully against me.

My hands swept up her body under my arms as I began moving her and carrying her across the hallway again- the rest of the room needed to wait.

She had asked for me and I wasn't denying her anything ever again.

I curled her into my chest as she lay down on top of me; asleep before I even reached her bedroom door.

She curled up and pulled me in tighter into her grip, a soft deep sigh leaving her as she breathed gently and began snoring softly. Her head against my chest as she curled up in between my legs.

I lay back with her, holding her and brushing down her body as I let my own eyes close too…

Fucking Heaven.

There were no other words for it; everything was total fucking heaven, her body locking down mine, her soft breaths filling the room, my fingers dancing up and down her back as I felt myself being lulled away to sleep gently, the light rain still beating on the windows.

This….

This…

Nothing could ever be better than this…

§

A phone rang and I growled. I lifted my head up away from Bonnie, who stayed sleeping as I looked down; our positions hadn't changed since I carried her back to bed- My neck ached slightly but I cracked it quickly- not daring to try to shuffle her too much.

The Cell phone rang out through the hall way from the kitchen as I grumbled and growled for it to stop internally. My eyes watched my sleeping girl who only carried on doing that; only breathing softly and deeply.

I kissed her forehead longingly; three times.

The Cell stopped making its stupid ringing sound and I closed my eyes and leant back on her pillows again…

Another phone started up.

I looked to the ceiling grumbling as Bonnie shifted underneath me. I froze stopping my vocal chords harshly as I tried to detect where the new noise was coming from.

Down the hall way in the kitchen.

I tutted; I had left both our Cell's on the table last night after speaking with Leo- I knew it would almost certainly be him again.

 _Fucking-Mothering-overbearing-turtle-ass-of-a-brother…_

I sighed sharply, and kissed Bonnie again once on her side of her temple, before lifting her and shuffling her down into the sheets.

She whimpered a little from loss of contact as I felt my self smirk at her neediness. I smiled to her and quickly hurried down the corridor, before turning into the kitchen.

My fucking phone started up again.

Blue flashing light.

I growled as I answered it.

"Fucking hell Leo- What?!"

 _"Morning to you too sleeping beauty"_ he commented in a low mocking tone slyly as I growled.

"Ya wanna wake up da whole fuckin' apartment building wid ya ringin' jeeze!"

"Well I wouldn't need to wake everyone up if you two would just answer your phones- where's Bonnie's? she didn't answer hers either"

"She's sleepin' Leo…we both were till ya fuckin decided ta ruin it!"

 _"Its nearly 9 Raph- you're usually up at 6…_ " he commented loosely.

I rolled and felt my cheeks heat up- thanking fuck he could see me; I sighed out heavily and cleared my throat.

"We 'ad a late night…. talked bout stuff…sorted things out" I shrugged my head heading straight back to the adventures of our late night…

" _Oh Raph…"_

 _"Oh Raphael…oh!"_

 _"RAPHAEL!"_

My head and heart boiled.

Leo stayed quiet for a minute and I could hear him move away from what sounded like a busy area.

 _"…Everything good now?_ " he asked lowly as I licked my top lip.

"Everythin's fine" I told him softly. He in took a sharp breath and I could hear him swallow.

 _"And Bonnie?"_

"She's good…"

 _"Are you two alright now?"_ he trailed off. I coughed and looked down to the bedroom door; her ripped up panties lay in the middle of the bedroom floor.

"Yep. We're good… "

Silence on the other end.

 _"Okay then"_ he said sounding like he was speaking to himself. " _That's good"_ he added clearly. I could only nod feeling stupid for doing so, knowing that he couldn't see me.

 _"I'll guess I'll let the others know your friends again"_ he breathed.

"Yeah sure, sure…dats cool" I breathed out rubbing the side of my face down.

I wanted to tell him everything for the first time in my life; I really did. I knew what I wanted to tell him, and on some level I think he understood too- he clicked once into the phone and breathed gently.

 _"You should know April and Casey stayed last night- their both a little curious…Casey's worried- think he might sprint to Bonnie's as soon as we open the lair doors"_ I gritted my teeth.

He would kill me if he knew what we did.

"I'll get 'er to call 'im" I breathed to him.

 _"Alright- That's all I needed. As long as you're both alright after last night"_

"We were till you rang" I mumbled groaningly.

 _"Raphael_ " he warned as I sighed.

"Anythin' else fearless or is dat everything?"

A moment passed as I waited for his last question.

 _"Were you safe?"_ he asked quietly as I scrunched my face up in confusion.

"Safe? what the-"

But his words hit me as my eyes widened and my mouth slammed shut.

"We didn't! fuckin' 'ell Leo!"

 _"I gotta ask Raph!"_

"Yeah well it weren't like dat!"

Oh it was.

It was exactly like that.

 _"Alright! Alright! Just if you weren't safe Donnie's usually the one you-"_

"Am hangin' up Leo"

 _"I'm jus' sayin' that to be-_ "

I cut him off and growled out rolling my eyes. I put the phone down onto the table and rubbed my face down with my hand.

I sighed.

No, we didn't have sex; it wasn't about a raw animal desire last night-

It was a need- a need to touch her, to feel her body out and all over…

To kiss her…

To lick her all over…

To touch her so intimately…

 _To mark her…_

And lord knows I marked her _good…_

I looked around the little kitchen again and yawned shaking myself down. My stomach growled on cue.

It was nearly 9am after all…

Breakfast.

I looked to her little kitchen tilting my head and bit my lip. It was my job to take care of her now; she was mine.

But I needed to learn.

I looked down to the phone on the table again…

I pushed the little orange button.

It rang out once until energetically my little brothers voice bounced down the line.

 _"Yo Bro! How's tricks?_ " he asked excitedly _"I got a new sister yet orrrr….?"_ He asked melodically as I growled.

"Mikey- ya tell anyone bout what am gonna ask ya- I'll rip ya head off ya shoulders the second a get back 'ome- got it?"

 _"Ouch your mistrust in me bro is_ _ **harsh man**_ _\- but what's up?_ " He called cheerily

My shoulders flopped my face bright red as I growled and gritted my teeth.

Its for her. Just do it.

"'Ow do ya make Pancakes?"

* * *

 **So what do we think of the aftermath? Yay? Nay?**

 **Like the last chapter I had to totally think about this carefully and plan their feelings and motions.**

 **I hoped you like it!**

 **Let me know!**

 **I love little book reviews! You Guys warm my days!**


	18. Flourless Pancakes

**Okay so its been a while...but ive never let this story go, I just love it too much and have so many places to take it! thank you to everyone reviewing it means the absolute world!**

 **okay On with the Next instalment- there is some M rated content here...just a warning ;)**

 **Owl x**

* * *

 **Bonnie's POV**

Light streamed in from my little window as I stirred in my sleep, rubbing my head into my pillows. I sighed. My arm extended out as I pushed myself to sit up.

I yawned and looked around the room; no Raph anywhere. I sat up and stretched feeling my bones creak and crack as I looked up to my arms; white catching my eye.

My wrist was now bandaged carefully and securely, as I took it into my hands and inspected the fine woven protection.

 _Raph…_

I felt my body down- my shoulder patched up too- the little scraped and cuts covered over with a huge bandage.

I looked down at my sheets and sighed wondering where he was.

That was until a large growl and crash came from my kitchen.

 _"YA NEVA MENTIONED PUTTIN DAT IN!"_

I was up on my feet and down the corridor quicker than ever before, my legs like Bambi as I stumbled down to see what was going on.

I raced to my kitchen doorway and my mouth fell open in shock.

My heart swooned instantly.

Raphael was stood over my oven- a frying pan in one hand as he balanced a phone between his shoulder and head. He had put his now clean and dry mask back on- and the shorts he wore last night.

Nothing else.

My insides melted like butter as everything else flew away from me.

A high pitched voice mumbled on the other end of the phone line- but I was too far away to hear exactly what was said.

I breathed out in awe as I took in my now spotless kitchen- no blood anywhere, plates out on the table and a line of ingredient's lay on the work bench Raph was facing.

Flour, eggs, milk…

A bowl of what looked to be beige batter sat in front of him as he turned a little letting me view him better.

"I dunno if she likes dem…course it's for ' _er_ ya idiot!" he growled into the phone as the high pitched voice answered him.

 _For her…_

He noticed my presence instantly as he turned to look at me from the door way, freezing with wide eyes and an open mouth.

He was making us breakfast.

He had cleaned my kitchen…

He had patched me up…

 _Last night he had…_

 _We had…_

And then I was moving towards him instantly as my hands found his cheeks and my lips found his desperately.

I kissed him in appreciation and in love and in need.

He could feel it instantly. As his eyes fell shut and his lips responded to mine.

Our kiss was long and drawn. I blew out a long breathy sigh as I kissed him deeply and hard.

His hands seemed to forget what they had in them as he turned to drop everything and clutched at my body.

The little phone wedged between his head and shoulder fell to the floor.

The voice I now recognised as Mikey's called for him as it lay down beside our feet.

I pulled his head round further to kiss him deeper, my tongue swirling around his as he pulled me in tighter, his hands going down passed my hips to my ass again, squeezing both cheeks and he growled to me playfully.

Raph kicked the little phone with his foot away until it hit the side wall and flew shut. Silencing Mikey's high pitched voice.

I moaned then, openly and loudly for the first time this morning as I leaned more into him. He spun me and picked me up sitting me on the kitchen counter, parting my legs forcefully to get in between them as he kissed me quicker; his tongue winning the battle we were having as I mewled out for him.

After another minute or so he pulled back breathless.

"What's all dis for?" he breathed out to me- our foreheads touching.

"Because your perfect, doing all of this for me…" I told him leaning in to peck his lips quickly and peppering, covering his mouth in little kisses as he grinned against me. My arms locked around his shell as my legs locked him in too, my fingers tapped lightly on the top of his shell as he squirmed. I giggled and ceased my finger movements quickly, not wanting him to pull away as I kissed his face everywhere my lips could reach.

"'ow dyna know all dis was for _you_?" he added cheekily with a smug look. I grinned to him and bit my lip, my fingers running down to the waist band of his shorts teasingly.

"Well if it's not then I can't show you how thankful I am then can I?" I said, my hands flying back up to his chest as he growled deeply.

"Little tease" he commented gruffly as I giggled pulling back a little to lean against the tiles.

"I mean it" I told him. "You're _perfect_ " I told him my hands running back up and down his chest as I sighed and watched him dreamily.

His huge hands came up to my shoulder to inspect the bandages he twitched his lips as he looked to it; then gravely down at my wrist.

I quickly hid it behind his neck using my bandaged arm to pull him in tighter.

"We agreed" I told him sharply. He nodded looking away for a minute before reconstructing himself.

I leaned in to kiss him deeply, desperately as I felt his tensions slowly slope away; his shoulders relaxed and his hard face fell soft onto mine.

"So perfect…" I whispered against his lips, my eyes raking over him as my other arm did the same.

"So big and buff…" I breathed to him... "So handsome…" I said touching his face. He gritted his teeth unbelieving my words. I kissed softly as his harsh bite he displayed.

"So fiery and protective" I breathed out to him "So caring and loving…" I told him as his eyes finally met me in a new hold; a vulnerable look crossed his face again.

"I love _everything_ about you Raphael…even your flourless pancakes" I told him with a small smirk.

He leant in this time; his lips crashing into mine almost violently as he growled and picked me up from the counter pulling me tighter to him as I kissed him hard. He nuzzled his head down as I smiled against his lips, pulling back gently to I rubbed down his chest.

Once I reached his stomach, it growled as he pouted and pulled back frustrated.

I smiled at him and giggled, kissing his chest once.

"you hungry, stalker?" I asked with a raise of my eyebrow. He huffed and looked to me pointedly.

"I can _do_ dis" he muttered pulling away from me and back to his little work bench as he picked up the large wooden spoon again.

I threw one of my legs over the other to cross them and leant back against the tiled walls watching him fuss.

He looked to the bag of flour and grimaced as his eyes scanned the instructions.

I bit back a giggle as he shot me a look.

I remained quiet waiting for him to give up as I drummed my fingers by the sink. He huffed and growled out looking for the little phone.

"Its two cups" I told him leaning my head against the tile. He looked at me again and scowled. Still not getting it.

I giggled again loudly.

"Look if ya didn't come in an' _make out_ wid me all ova tha place den Mikey woulda told me ma instructions an' we would be eaten righ' now…"

I nodded amused.

"Okay- dually noted - no making out until you've made breakfast from now on" I told him with a positive nod.

He looked to me flatly as I giggled again. He huffed and moved back round towards the cooker.

My hands found his shoulders as I pulled him back to face me, rubbing them gently to try to ease his frustration.

"Raph; why don't you sit and _I'll_ make _you_ breakfast?" I told him but he shook his head.

"A can do it doll, I…a need ta _learn_ " he said rubbing the side of his neck as he looked to me gently.

I eyed him up softly, confused as I tilted my head at him.

He huffed and shook his head, he tried to pull away as I kept a tight hold on his shoulder, my bruised wrist hurt a little as I pulled him back around, but I didn't want to show him at all; he didn't need to see my pain- he had dealt with all of that last night.

"Why?" I asked again softly. He looked down away from me, then returned to my face with a tut.

"Coz I'm yer… _you know_ …" he said with a shrug.

A smile spread across my face as I looked down to bite my lip. My eyes glowed as I looked at him deeply, a red blush had spread across his cheeks.

"My what Raph?" I asked him softly, my hands smoothing over his scales as he gritted his teeth and tensed beneath me.

I grinned waiting for him to call himself it; my insides glowing.

"Yer…yer… _boyfriend_ now right?" he said with a rub of his neck. "It don't feel like enough when a say dat" he breathed to himself. "An-an'…if am gonna be _dat_ den am gonna take care o' ya…things like makin' ya breakfast…cleanin' up and shit…" he shrugged it off like it was nothing. "I gotta _learn_ dis stuff…I ain't gonna make ya do everythin'"

And everything inside me swelled.

Hearing him say it, made my heart flutter and my eyes glow out to him. I stared at him as my mouth fell open in awe; my body breathless instantly.

"I-I mean…am only _dat_ if its what ya want I jus'-"

I leaned in again and kissed him hard. His face fell back in surprise as I kissed him deeply as he placed his hands on my thighs. I wrapped my arms tight around his neck and sighed heavily onto him.

Every time I kissed him my entire body lit up like fireworks, and I wondered if I would ever get used to the feeling.

He pulled back in confusion; breathless and needy again.

"Wh-what…" he breathed out deeply as his tongue flicked out across his bottom lip.

"Yes you are…you are my _boyfriend_ …" I breathed to him the biggest grin on my face possible. I brang his lips back to mine. Another needy kiss as I groaned into him. He chuckled against my lips.

"Wow…that easy to turn you on huh? Jus' tha one word?" he muffled out as I growled out. I pulled back to look at his head full on.

"Just shut up and kiss your _girlfriend_ _._ _Please?_ "

That did it; his eyes glazed over like mine had done. He gripped me tighter. And with a smirk on my face, I knew he felt what I had. His lips tumbled onto mine almost instantly.

He kissed me back just as hard as before, stepping in a little closer to bridge any body contact as I pulled back and layered peppering kisses all over his face.

He breathed deeply underneath my hold on him as I continued to kiss at his scaled face. His eyes hooded as he drew back a little and blew a breath out deeply.

"So…" I said in between kisses, my legs curling in around his shell as he grumbled and purred beneath me.

"Do you need to eat now or can it wait?" I breathed out as I rested my forehead against his. He smirked and leaned in towards me, inhaling my new curling lust that swam around us as he moved to kiss the side of my neck.

"Why don't a jus' eat ya up instead?" he breathed back, his voice so damn appealing hitting every inch of my core as I agreed in some sort of desperate sigh/moan…

My panties were torn and thrown again, my legs spread as he kneeled down and pushed them over his shoulders and over his shell.

His mouth buried deep into me instantly as my head and eyes rolled back and up to the ceiling of my kitchen. A gasp fell out my lips at the intense pleasure that raked threw me.

How had I forgotten how good he was at this?

How had I not immediately jumped on him again after last night?

He buried his mouth into me deeply, his tongue thrusting in and out of me as I growled out a moan. He purred against me and I rocked everywhere; violently.

"R- _Raph_ " I breathed as he responded to my moans moving quicker and sharper as I shuddered under his touch. My body fizzing and bubbling with each thrust of his tongue.

His hand was down on his member again as he groaned at the feel of it. I tilted my breathless head to the side to watch him doing so; his strong hands pumping his long hard purple member up and down smoothly as it glistened when he groaned.

I bit my lip. My entire body getting higher and higher quickly with its intense pleasure.

I gasped a little more desperately, my vocal chords forming a whine and groan.

together as my shoulders flew forward. My hips bucked out into his mouth as he ground down into me further.

"How can ya taste _so fuckin' good_ baby…" he said pulling back a little as he shuddered and closed his eyes delighted by his own pleasure.

My body seemed to drop a little as he pulled back sustaining my orgasm for a little longer until he breathed out on my opening again. Kissing my thighs and entrance.

I needed more; I wanted it. I needed to touch him too.

"Raph…l-let me…I want to-" I breathed out struggling to word my sentence as he was stood instantly and leaned in to kiss me.

I could taste myself on his mouth, but I didn't care; his tongue swirled with mine warming me as I moaned brokenly.

My fingers found my sweet spot in between my folds as I circled my bud of pleasure eagerly. My thighs tightening and curling in the pleasure there as I kissed him deeply.

My other hand reached out for him as we pulled apart and looked down between us. He growled seeing my spare hand play with myself as he instantly replaced it with his.

I bit my lip hard possibly drawing blood as I watched my other hand wrap around his member. His eyes flew closed; his hips bent forward towards me as he gripped the edge of the counter. His mouth falling open as his shoulders rolled back with a deep sigh that blew out of him.

His body shuddered and growled as I pushed him up and down, my insides climbing higher and higher as he rubbed me, sending me tighter.

I still needed more.

"R-Raph…?"

"Doll...?" he pushed back, stilling his movements as I stilled mine.

I looked down between us; our parts only inches away as we both eyed each other up. I bit my lip in needing.

I wanted it; so bad- all of it, right now.

It was an urgent need; like a raw animalistic need that I could see in his eyes and new it was reflected in mine.

"Here? _Now?"_ he asked with a look as my hand pulled him closer. He groaned at the feel, shuffling closer a few more steps.

Instantly my top was torn in two pieces and dangled down off my arms as Raph looked down to my body in total lust.

"I'm yours…." I told him; feeling incredibly needy. His hands stroked down my back slowly feeling my muscles and spine until his hands slipped under my ass cheeks to raise me into his palms as he breathed to me.

Then he leaned back a little, separating our bodies slightly.

 _"Wait_ " he told me with a deep distrusting breath.

My body froze.

He cringed. "No" he breathed, struggling to look up. He took another tiny step back and breathed out softly. "Not like dis…ya ain't some _cheap fuck_ in an alleyway…I wanna do this bit _right_ \- like last night…candles and shit…I wanna do it right wid ya…" he nodded to himself unable to meet my gaze as my shoulders fell.

I couldn't be disappointed. I couldn't be upset- because he was perfect.

How did I not see this before?

How much of a gentleman he was- how caring and devoted he was to me…

And it then occurred to me so quickly, the thoughts passing like falling dominoes;

He hadn't ever gotten that- he hadn't known what it would be like to be treated like that.

And he wanted to do those intimate romantic moments with me.

And I was being totally selfish just needing it to stoke a fire. Raph needed this to be perfect; he needed it to be like he'd seen in movies.

To feel loved.

It pulled on my heart strings so tightly as I looked to his gruff face. Underneath all that muscle and rage; there was someone so anxious and insecure.

I would make sure he never felt like that again.

My hands ran up and over his shoulders as I pulled his face back to look at me.

"if that's what you want Raph…then we can do it that way, when the times right" I told him securely. He nodded strongly with gritted teeth.

"Ya have no idea how much it's takin for me not ta tear ya in two right now…" he strained out trying not to breath.

I smiled to him softly.

"I love you Raphael" I told him deeply as I breathed him in resting his head to mine. He loosened at my words, relaxing physically as he grinned through his dilemma with closed eyes.

I shuffled back out of his grip and jumped down off the counter, my naked body instantly dropping to my knees.

"Why don't you let _me_ take care of _you_?" I looked up at him as he blew out a sigh and through hooded eyes, watched me take him into my mouth again.

He leant against the counter and groaned, I kissed him and sucked him in a lot quicker than last night as his hands wound into my hair and along my cheek, they were padded and soft as he stayed solid and throbbing in my mouth.

My hand found my own spot again as I moaned against him.

He growled a little, trying to push himself further down as I pulled back at took hold of his eyes, halting his movements as well.

"Just watch me…it's okay, I wanna do this for you"

And he did watch. His eyes glued down my body between his legs as I pleasured myself in front of him; his mouth fell open. His eyes hooded and drunk as he watched me build up higher and higher.

Our built up foreplay had made us both needy and ready as he shuddered and gripped my counter for support as he came in long wispy strings a few moments later. And I followed too at the same time he did; calling his name over and over just the way he liked me to.

He breathed deeply as blood pulsed under my hands.

I licked his seed from off my lips and leant forward to kiss his hard chest.

"Lemme go get dressed; then _I'll_ teach _you_ how to make breakfast…"

He sighed smirking as he swatted my ass when he watched me go. I smiled over my shoulder at him as I hurried to get ready for the day…

* * *

"Den ya do dat?"

"That's right, you're doing really good" I told him as he poured the batter into the pan.

We cooked together, constantly touching each other in some way or form, my arms around one of his arms, his hand on my waist or butt as we worked over my little stove.

I was hugging at his arm as he picked up the spatula in his hand and poked at the round batter in the pan.

"Wait like the last one" I told him softly as he grumbled; his stomach grumbled too.

I giggled. He looked to me harshly as I turned to kiss his arm.

"Am _starvin_ '- its nearly eleven doll"

"Well next time you'll be prepared to make me breakfast earlier" I giggled.

The rain outside was still pouring, so I settled for a black t-shirt that clung to my waist and chest and had a low V that I knew Raph would appreciate, and some loose grey jogging bottoms with comfortable oversized socks.

Raph stayed in his shorts and mask; both of us relaxed and plating up as I moved in front of him.

"Doll…" he groaned out desperately as I moved in front of him and his hands wrapped around my waist, he pulled me in, my ass pressing into his legs as I took hold of the cooking utensils.

"Alright- alright, I get it" I told him nuzzling him a little, I patted the spatula and flipped the pancakes round in the pan.

I leaned down to put another frying pan on the hob and poured the batter in when it had quickly heated up.

He watched me; happily holding me and hugging me from behind instead of cooking as the smell of batter filled the air.

He inhaled deeply as he hummed out and licked the side of his lips, he bent down to nuzzle my shoulder once too, placing a soft kiss there as he groaned

"Pancakes an' a blow job…" he groaned happily "best morning eva" he grumbled as I turned to whack him with my spatula.

"Wow, I think that's the most American and sexist morning routine I've ever heard" I told him with a nod.

"I 'avent even 'ad ma ' _good workout'_ yet" he winked at me as my mouth fell open in mock horror.

"Will your muscles deflate or will you have to order new ones?"

He chuckled at me as I grinned back at him and flipped over the pancakes.

"Ya love my forty inch biceps _princess_ " he growled out playfully with a smile. I bit my lip and smiled to him

"Forty inches? _"_ I chuckled to myself repeating his words in a mocking tone, leaning up for a kiss as my eyes fluttered shut. He raised an eyebrow at me in challenge but kept leaning in towards me…

"Bonnie!? **_Bon!?"_**

Casey's voice flooded my little apartment as hurried steps flew rapidly and erratically round the apartment.

 _"BONNIE!?"_ he yelled again.

"Casey- just slow down!" April was with him.

Raph met my eyes in alarm as we both froze.

"Shit" he breathed.

Then his hands were off me and he was sat in the seat the furthest away from me. Casey stumbled into the kitchen as we both turned to look at him.

"Good Morning Cousin" I spoke normally, watching him with alarmed eyes. Casey slammed into the kitchen- his hockey stick in hand as he held both sides of my door way, his eyes looked to me as he looked me up and down, checking I was in one piece.

He looked to Raph who now had found an old magazine from god knows where and had placed it down on the table; he looked up from it like he had been reading it this whole time.

April hurried in over his shoulder, looking around the room searchingly. Her disappointed eyes fell on me and then to Raph.

She pouted sadly. I smiled to her; she really _had_ been rooting for us.

 _"YOU!"_ Casey roared looking at Raph who crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows.

"S'up bro"

Casey looked away confused. April pushed in front of him and rolled her eyes.

" _Told_ you everything was fine- You Should Listen to Leo more often you little _dweeb_ " April shoved him into the kitchen as he stumbled in and moved a few paces to the side; eyeing us up as I kept my eyes on my cousin.

"Everything's fine Casey- Raph and I are friends again…everything's _fine_ " I told him again turning back to my pancakes; my eyes focused on the frying pan as out the corner of my vision he swallowed and rubbed his forehead.

"Yeah…I-I knew that" he shrugged it off as he sat down next to Raph. April looked over to me with an amused smirk her eyes warmed as she looked me over.

Casey fist pumped Raph as he sat down; seeming to instantly calm down at the realisation that all was settled. On some level I wondered if he understood why Raph and I were fighting last night. But he didn't seem to mention it as he crossed his arms and they began a discussion on what his brothers got up to in the lair last night.

He seemed to stop short and look down at Raph's arms.

"Whoa, what happened to _you_ last night?" he asked Raph, eyeing up his bandages on his arms. My heart sunk a little as Raph rolled his eyes.

"Scraped it down the side of the buildings, was windy wid da storm. No biggie- Ya cousin wrapped me up"

My sad eyes looked down to the pan in front of me as I turned over a few more pancakes.

He was an expert at lying about that.

I wondered how many times he had done the same thing.

I blew a breath out and turned to put a stack of pancakes down in the middle of the table. I swallowed back my lump as I used my good arm to put the plate down.

"I can make more if you guys are hungry?" I asked looking at them.

"Naww- we just ate down at the lair…Mikey made waffles" April shrugged as I nodded to her calmly. She seemed to search my eyes for something as I smiled to her warmly.

Casey ignored her comment and grabbed a plate from my side and forked two pancakes onto his plate.

We all rolled our eyes at him.

"What? your pancakes are always good Bon" he shrugged as I swatted the back of his head.

"Leave some for Raph- he's told me countless times this last hour just how _starving he is"_ I said with a roll of my eyes. "wouldn't wanna see him waste away" I chuckled as Raph looked at me with those damn irresistible pouting lips. They glistened a little as he tilted his face in the light.

What I wouldn't give to lean across right now and kiss them again…

"Is this your first time eating today?" April asked him as my eyes lifted to hers in shock. I froze as I eyed her up. " _Damn_ you must have gotten up late…"

"We had a late one…" I answered quickly in his place, my eyes nervously watching Casey, who carried on eating, seeming oblivious to the whole conversation.

"Was nice fer a change- didn't 'ave Leo pesterin' me ta _get up_ " Raph shrugged lightly.

A comfortable quietness raked over. Until Casey looked up with scrunched up face.

"Where did you even sleep? This is only a one bed place" he asked. Raph seemed to freeze.

"The sofa" I nodded sharply. "It was his _only_ option"

Casey grimaced.

" _Shit_ that things insanely uncomfortable- shoulda kicked Bon on it- she's smaller than you…woulda been better"

"Hey!" I swatted Casey again with the spatula.

"Nah…was great" Raph's eyes danced on mine again, regaining my full attention. I turned back to him fully as his eyes swallowed me in his gaze.

"Best nigh' sleep I eva 'ad…" he trailed off; his eyes glowed into mine and I glowed back for a minute. I could feel my stomach pool, my legs burn and everything swell up again.

I bit the inside of my cheek to stop my self telling him how insanely in love I was with him.

 _Not in front of Casey…_

"Yeah musta been kinda nice ta have a room on your own…sharin' with Mikey's full on" Casey nodded down to the table as I tried to hide my humour.

It was unbelievably funny how he still hadn't clicked on to mine and Raph's changed relationship.

I knew April was getting there- I could see her working it out slowly. Her eyes dancing delicately over the two of us:

Still a little unsure; possibly needing my confirmation, but getting there.

"Hey, are _you_ alright cousin?" Casey questioned- his eyes caught my wrist as he looked at it.

I froze a little, doing my best not to look at Raph as I quickly regained composure and shook my head.

"Slipped in the rain last night when I ran home…its fine" I told him with a nod.

He watched me unsure with a nod as April looked at Raphael. He stared hard out into space. And I could tell his teeth were gritted behind his solidly locked paling lips.

I placed one hand under the table, hiding it away as I finished up my breakfast. My hand instantly found Raph's thigh, as it squeezed it reassuringly.

Only a little ache from the pressure reminding me of my injury.

It did the trick as Raph snapped out of it and listened into Casey again.

"-weathers gonna be clear tonight…. you up for it?"

Raph seemed confused; missing the first half of his conversation from our silent exchange.

"Wha?" he questioned with another small shake of his head.

"Tonight; we haven't gone out together in like _two weeks_ \- wanna pulverise some gangs tonight bro?" Casey grinned winningly at Raph who managed a weak smirk back.

You couldn't tell it was weak. Only I was fully aware after obsessively watching his smirks a thousand times over.

And my heart stammered at his efforts to hide his pain.

I squeezed his leg again; a little harder.

 _Please…_

He breathed softly and relaxed instantly as I smiled to myself.

It was okay again.

"Maybe depends on what Leo's got goin' on- we all missed patrol las' night…e'll be on ma tail when I get back"

Raph groaned.

I laughed under my breath.

April watched.

Casey remained oblivious.

"What was it like bein' away from them for the first time?" April asked softly. Raph looked up at her and smiled gently. I could see her care there- and it was sweet, motherly.

"Was peaceful… _was nice_ …Bon's a good host" He said with a drawn out breath as I looked down to the table.

Yes. It had been nice….

 _Insanely nice…_

"Peaceful? You two nearly ripped each other's heads off yesterday" Casey snorted as I rolled my eyes at him.

"Well… our heads are still intact now" I told him with a shrug. "What did you expect from two hot heads really?" I added with a giggle.

Casey rolled his eyes as April smiled down at us.

Raph's smile floated down towards the table at my quick comment.

They stayed and chatted for a little while longer. Casey going back to his carefree happy attitude as he and Raph discussed where they would roam around tonight. I turned to clean our plates and dishes as April moved with me to stand by my side.

She turned to me with a glowing face.

"So" she asked quietly among the boisterous laughter. "Everything _is good_ then?" she asked quietly. Her voice hovered over her words; laced with a hidden meaning

I nodded happily "completely _fine_ " I smiled to her warmly.

"And…did anything…?" she asked quietly, keeping her eyes on Casey who seemed distracted enough.

 _"April!"_ I scolded almost silently.

She snickered.

"It's just that…well- your panties and the night shirt I bought you are in shreds on the floor…" she whispered knowingly as I spun around alarmed.

They lay in the open obvious and looking like I had gone at them with razors.

"Oh god!" I gasped out as I moved to gather them round in my arms. Casey spun in his seat looking to my shocked movement. Raph looked too- confused, but clicked on immediately.

His big eyes opened; his face stiff as he coughed.

"Sorry- got some washing to do, April wanna help?" I rushed out. I grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the kitchen. I could hear Raph grabbing Casey's attention back on him as I pulled April into the bedroom and shut the door.

* * *

 **Okay guys you know what to do...tell me what you think!**

 **I really do love these two! (sigh...)**

 **Owl x**


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